SCENE--_The freezer--enter Officer Murphy with big bunch of
keys--unlocks door of cage._
MURPHY--Now, you there, lady, make yer toilet and fix yer finery for in
fifteen minutes the court opens and yer the first on the docket. Doctor
Bolus axed yer a lot of questions didn’t he? Lord, how scared he was
when I told him I was going to let you out of the cage! And yer old
woman sniveled too, and stood off clear to one side as if you was goin’
to make a swipe at her. Why wouldn’t you talk to ’em, my dear? You was
confidential enough with that black-eyed young woman. She knows more
than Bolus and all of ’em. She gave me a dollar and said I should get
yer a nice breakfast, and you got it too, didn’t you? Well, here’s the
dollar, I don’t want it. I don’t know nothin’ ’bout you except what the
black-eyed one said, but yer all right, I know you is. It’s all a great
big fool blunder, that’s what it is. The captain has let that Woodbur
shyster razzle-dazzle him--beg yer pardon, miss, I didn’t mean to
swear. Oh, I didn’t swear though, did I? But my feelins is so worked up
since the black-eyed one told me of you that I come dam near swearin’
right afore you. Yes, yer looks all right. Yer ain’t exact the size of
the black-eyed one, but then her close fits ye pretty fair. Come on now
and don’t be scared--see. Ye haven’t cried yet and ye mustn’t now or
I will slop over myself. The jedge tries to look awful cross, but he
isn’t half as bad as folks think he is. Don’t be scared of him, and if
he is not too full yer will get off easy.
SCENE--_Police court--Judge Prince on throne--Officer Donahue with
brass buttons, helmet and club, stands by side of throne--Hustler,
Bilkson and Woodbur holding conversation--Mixed crowd of onlookers in
the background._
[_Oyez_, _Oyez_, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera].
JUDGE PRINCE (_Reading._) “Mary Roe, right name unknown. First charge,
larceny in taking glue from factory of Hustler & Co. Second charge,
drunk and disorderly. Third charge, assault with intent to kill.”
(_Spoken_) Now, Mr. Woodbur, you represent the prosecution--which
charge are you going to try her on? Oh! I see, last first--assault.
Well, bring on your witnesses, and quick, too--here are (_counting_)
twenty-one bums on the list and the Polish church riot, besides----let
’er go, Gallagher! Bilkson, the name is--first name? Why yes, of course,
in my unofficial capacity I know your name, but the court is not
supposed to know nothing--Woodbur, can’t you let up on that chuckle?
John Bilkson--what the devil’s name is the man standing like that with
his mouth open? Why, someone might fall in. Oh, your teeth are gone!
Yes, I see. Keep the beefsteak on the peeper--it will soon be all
right. The _Express_ tried to give me a black-eye too, last ’lection.
Did they do it? Not if the court house understands itself as Shallkopp
says. Yes, she rides a bicycle--that’s right, make her out as bad as
you can--hold on, let me write that down (_writing--to the officer
standing like a statue near_) Donahue, how the devil do you spell it?
Bi----call it a b-i-k-e and let ’er go? Yes--go on. I am all ears. (_In
a roar._) Silence in the court.
You tried to make the arrest peaceably, an’ then you went up the ladder
and she hit you with an ax--not an ax though, Bilkson, come off, it
would have gone clear through your skull, thick as it is. Oh, let up!
She hit you, that is enough--with an u-n-k-n-o-w-n w-e-e-p-u-n. All
right, go on--Donahue, make the cod dab fool shut up that cavern.
Haven’t you showed me three times she knocked your teeth out?
Oh, yes, you searched the house and didn’t find any glue. Well, what
if she did carry off a package every Saturday--how do you know it was
glue? Hasn’t anyone got a right to carry a package without being jumped
on by a fool glue-maker?--Well, that is all right--let me say a word
now and then--there ain’t no proof she ever stole a cent’s worth of
glue; and what’s more, you hadn’t any business out there tryin’ to
get up in her room at three o’clock in the morning when you hadn’t
any appointment with her--(_aside_--Eh! Donahue, how’s that!!) No,
sir; and you too, Woodbur, you old stick-fast, what the devil are you
always tryin’ to get decent folks in trouble for? Haven’t women got
hard enough time to get along without being dogged by a pot-bellied
shyster, a cross between a detective and an attorney, who sports a high
white hat with a black band, which means he is in mourning for his
lost virtue?--Shut up, will you. Don’t talk back to me, Woodbur! I’m
on to you with both feet. You haven’t proved a thing against the gal
or against the man. The old fellow enticed the gal off, into the woods
did he? How do you know he did, are you a mind reader? Well, I see no
fault in him. I’ll scourge him and let him go--that is, I’ll fine him
five dollars on general principles for disorderly conduct and kick
him out. Will you shut up, you dirty blackguard! Confound you Woodbur,
who is running this court anyway, you or me? What do I care for Doctor
Bolus? To hell with Bolus! Where is he? I’ll give him thirty days. The
girl ain’t crazy. She ain’t crazy, I tell you--she has got more sense
than anyone in the court room but me--(_aside_--Eh, Donahue?) Of course
she wouldn’t answer their questions. Neither would I. Here you arrest a
man and woman on a mere groundless suspicion, or ’cause you got a spite
against them, and then the whole police department turns to and tries
to justify the arrest by blackening their characters. When you once
puts your claws on a man you turn the county upside down and wrong side
out to convict him--when you know he ain’t guilty, but you just work
to make a reputation for yourself. I’m drunk, am I, Bilkson? Here you
clerk, Mr. Bilkson is fined five dollars for contempt of court. What’s
that? I have no right to fine you? Oh, no, that’s so, I haven’t?--make
it ten, Mr. Clerk. No, sir, I won’t even fine the old man, but I’ll
fine you, Woodbur, if you give me any more of your jaw. You Balaam’s
ass--you make me weary! You say you found ’em out there together.
Well, you old reprobate, hasn’t the gal reached the age of consent?
(_Aside_--Eh--Donahue, how’s that?) _Silence in the court!!_ Git out
of here, Mary Roe alias Aspasia Hobbs. Bounce you, John Doe, and never
show up here again! You’re old enough to know better. Great Scott,
Bilkson, haven’t you shut up that cavern yet? Yes, I know she knocked
out your teeth. I’m dab glad of it. (_Aside_--Eh! Donahue?)
Next!
* * * * *
Martha Heath took my arm as we walked down the steps from the
court-room, and The Man walked by my side. I looked at him, and on
the gentle face I saw not the slightest look of trouble, unrest or
nervous tension. While my nerves were completely unstrung by the last
three days’ experience, he looked as refreshed as if he had just come
from the quiet and restful woods. He was hatless--the same magnificent
poise of the head--calm, serene. He turned on me those wondering gentle
eyes as we stood on the walk for an instant. He did not speak. I noted
the firm chest, the strongly corded neck, the massive head with its
snow-white wavy hair, face large-featured and bronzed by the kiss of
the summer sun, lean of flesh as though chiseled by manly abstinence,
plain, but all stamped with the seal of fearless honesty, the lips
parted showing the strong white teeth, the voice came low but firm,
“If I go away I will come again,”--he turned and was lost in the crowd.
THE END.
* * * * *
BEECHAM’S PILLS
Painless. Effectual.
In many towns where this wonderful medicine has been introduced, and
given a fair trial, it has abolished the family medicine chest, and
been found sufficient to cure nine-tenths of the ordinary complaints
incident to humanity; and when diseases of months and years are
thus removed or palliated in a few days, it is not wonderful that
Beecham’s Pills should maintain their acknowledged popularity in both
hemispheres. =_They cost only 25 cents_=, although the proverbial
expression all over the world is that they are “worth a guinea a box,”
for in truth one box will oftentimes be the means of saving more than
one guinea in doctor’s bills.
☞☞ REMEMBER THAT BEECHAM’S PILLS ☜☜
--ARE--
A WONDERFUL MEDICINE
--FOR ALL--
BILIOUS AND NERVOUS DISORDERS
--SUCH AS--
CONSTIPATION,
WEAK STOMACH,
SICK-HEADACHE,
LOSS OF APPETITE,
IMPAIRED DIGESTION,
DISORDERED LIVER AND ALL KINDRED DISEASES.
Prepared only by =Thos. Beecham=, St. Helens, Lancashire, England. =B.
F. Allen Co.=, Sole Agents for United States. 365 and 367 Canal St.,
N. Y., who (if your druggist does not keep them) will mail Beecham’s
Pills on receipt of price, 25c.--but inquire first. Correspondents will
please mention J. S. OGILVIE’s Books.
* * * * *
The Daylight Lamp.
Central draft, of course. Wick raised and lowered by our wheel system.
It doesn’t stick.
[Illustration]
Wick doesn’t have to be a 1/2 inch above the rim to give a good light.
Fact is, we have never seen a lamp which exposes so little wick as the
“Daylight.”
So the wick doesn’t char.
So the oil burns with a clearer light.
_Craighead & Kintz Co._, Salesroom, 33 Barclay street, New York.
Factory, Ballardvale, Mass.
Piano, Banquet and Table sizes. The Daylight Lamp Co., 38 Park Place,
New York, will give you further information.
* * * * *
Transcriber’s Notes:
This is Elbert Hubbard’s first novel, published pseudonymously.
This book was published by J. S. Ogilvie Publishing Company, 57 Rose
Street, New York.
Footnotes have been moved to the end of each chapter and relabeled
consecutively through the document.
Illustrations have been moved to paragraph breaks near where they are
mentioned.
Punctuation has been made consistent.
The notation 1-2 for fractions has been changed to 1/2.
Variations in spelling and hyphenation were retained as they appear in
the original publication, except that obvious typographical errors have
been corrected.
p. 84: thou added (didst thou notice).