'DAMN ye both! stop, or I will blow your brains out!' Thus it was that
Harry Simms greeted his victims, proving in a phrase that the heroic
age of the rumpad was no more. Forgotten the debonair courtesy of
Claude Duval! Forgotten the lightning wit, the swift repartee of the
incomparable Hind! No longer was the hightoby-gloak a 'gentleman' of
the road; he was a butcher, if not a beggar, on horseback; a braggart
without the courage to pull a trigger; a swashbuckler, oblivious of that
ancient style which converted the misery of surrender into a privilege.
Yet Harry Simms, the supreme adventurer of his age, was not without
distinction; his lithe form and his hard-ridden horse were the common
dread of England; his activity was rewarded with a princely treasure;
and if his method were lacking in urbanity, the excuse is that he danced
not to the brilliant measure of the Cavaliers, but limped to the clumsy
fiddle-scraping of the early Georges.
At Eton, where a too-indulgent grandmother had placed him, he ransacked
the desks of his school-fellows, and avenged a birching by emptying his
master's pockets. Wherefore he lost the hope of a polite education, and
instead of proceeding with a clerkly dignity to King's College, in
the University of Cambridge, he was ignominiously apprenticed to a
breeches-maker. The one restraint was as irksome as the other, and Harry
Simms abandoned the needle, as he had scorned the grammar, to go upon
the pad. Though his early companions were scragged at Tyburn, the
light-fingered rascal was indifferent to their fate, and squandering
such booty as fell to his share, he bravely 'turned out' for more.
Tottenham Court Fair was the theatre of his childish exploits, and there
he gained some little skill in the picking of pockets. But a spell of
bad trade brought him to poverty, and he attempted to replenish an empty
pocket by the childish expedient of a threatening letter.
The plan was conceived and executed with a futility which ensured an
instant capture. The bungler chose a stranger at haphazard, commanding
him, under penalty of death, to lay five guineas upon a gun in Tower
Wharf; the guineas were cunningly deposited, and the rascal, caught
with his hand upon the booty, was committed to Newgate. Youth, and the
intercession of his grandmother, procured a release, unjustified by the
infamous stupidity of the trick. Its very clumsiness should have sent
him over sea; and it is wonderful that from a beginning of so little
promise, he should have climbed even the first slopes of greatness.
However, the memory of gaol forced him to a brief interlude of honesty;
for a while he wore the pink coat of Colonel Cunningham's postillion,
and presently was promoted to the independence of a hackney coach.
Thus employed, he became acquainted with the famous Cyprians of Covent
Garden, who, loving him for his handsome face and sprightly gesture,
seduced him to desert his cab for an easier profession. So long as the
sky was fair, he lived under their amiable protection; but the summer
having chased the smarter gentry from town, the ladies could afford him
no more than would purchase a horse and a pair of pistols, so that Harry
was compelled to challenge fortune on the high road. His first journey
was triumphantly successful. A post-chaise and a couple of coaches
emptied their wealth into his hands, and, riding for London, he was able
to return the favours lavished upon him by Covent Garden. At the first
touch of gold he was transformed to a finished blade. He purchased
himself a silver-hilted sword, which he dangled over a discreet suit
of black velvet; a prodigious run of luck at the gaming-tables kept his
purse well lined; and he made so brilliant an appearance in his familiar
haunts that he speedily gained the name of 'Gentleman Harry.' But the
money, lightly won, was lightly spent. The tables took back more
than they gave, and before long Simms was astride his horse again,
flourishing his irons, and crying: 'Stand and deliver'! upon every road
in England.
Epping Forest was his general hunting-ground, but his enterprise took
him far afield, and if one night he galloped by starlight across
Bagshot Heath, another he was holding up the York stage with unbridled
insolence. He robbed, he roared, he blustered with praiseworthy
industry; and good luck coming to the aid of caution, he escaped for
a while the necessary punishment of his crimes. It was on Stockbridge
Downs that he met his first check.
He had stopped a chariot, and came off with a hatful of gold, but the
victims, impatient of disaster, raised the county, and Gentleman Harry
was laid by the heels. Never at a loss, he condescended to a cringing
hypocrisy: he whined, he whimpered, he babbled of reform, he plied his
prosecutors with letters so packed with penitence, that they abandoned
their case, and in a couple of days Simms had eased a collector at
Eversey Bank of three hundred pounds. For this enterprise two others
climbed the gallows, and the robber's pride in his capture was miserably
lessened by the shedding of innocent blood.
But he forgot his remorse as speedily as he dissipated his money, and
sentimentality neither damped his enjoyment nor restrained his energy.
Even his brief visits to London were turned to the best account; and,
though he would have the world believe him a mere voluptuary, his eye
was bent sternly upon business. If he did lose his money in a gambling
hell, he knew who won it, and spoke with his opponent on the homeward
way. In his eyes a fuddled rake was always fair game, and the stern
windows of St. Clement's Church looked down upon many a profitable
adventure. His most distinguished journey was to Ireland, whither he set
forth to find a market for his stolen treasure. But he determined that
the road should bear its own charges, and he reached Dublin a richer man
than he left London. In three months he was penniless, but he did not
begin trade again until he had recrossed the Channel, and, having got to
work near Chester, he returned to the Piazza fat with bank-notes.
With success his extravagance increased, and, living the life of a man
about town, he was soon harassed by debt. More than once he was lodged
in the Marshalsea, and as his violent temper resented the interference
of a dun, he became notorious for his assaults upon sheriff's officers.
And thus his poor skill grew poorer: forgetting his trade, he expected
that brandy would ease his embarrassment. At last, sodden with drink,
he enlisted in the Guards, from which regiment he deserted, only to be
pressed aboard a man-of-war. Freed by a clever trick, he took to the
road again, until a paltry theft from a barber transported him to
Maryland. There he turned sailor, and his ship, The Two Sisters, being
taken by a privateer, he contrived to scramble into Portugal, whence he
made his way back to England, and to the only adventure of which he was
master. He landed with no more money than the price of a pistol, but
he prigged a prancer at Bristol horsefair, and set out upon his last
journey. The tide of his fortune was at flood. He crammed his pockets
with watches; he was owner of enough diamonds to set up shop in a
fashionable quarter; of guineas he had as many as would support his
magnificence for half a year; and at last he resolved to quit the road,
and to live like the gentleman he was. To this prudence he was the more
easily persuaded, because not only were the thief-takers eager for
his capture, but he was a double-dyed deserter, whose sole chance of
quietude was a decent obscurity.
His resolution was taken at St. Albans, and over a comfortable dinner
he pictured a serene and uneventful future. On the morrow he would set
forth to Dublin, sell his handsome stock of jewels, and forget that the
cart ever lumbered up Tyburn Hill. So elated was he with his growing
virtue, that he called for a second bottle, and as the port heated
his blood his fingers tingled for action. A third bottle proved beyond
dispute that only the craven were idle; 'and why,' he exclaimed,
generous with wine, 'should the most industrious ruffler of England
condescend to inaction?' Instantly he summoned the ostler, screaming
for his horse, and before Redburn he had emptied four pockets, and
had exchanged his own tired jade for a fresh and willing beast. Still
exultant in his contempt of cowardice, he faced the Warrington stage,
and made off with his plunder at a drunken gallop. Arrived at Dunstable,
he was so befogged with liquor and pride, that he entered the 'Bull
Inn,' the goal of the very coach he had just encountered. He had scarce
called for a quartern of brandy when the robbed passengers thronged into
the kitchen; and the fright gave him enough sobriety to leave his glass
untasted, and stagger to his horse. In a wild fury of arrogance and
terror, of conflicting vice and virtue, he pressed on to Hockcliffe,
where he took refuge from the rain, and presently, fuddled with more
brandy, he fell asleep over the kitchen fire.
By this time the hue and cry was raised; and as the hero lay helpless in
the corner three troopers burst into the inn, levelled their pistols at
his head, and threatened death if he put his hand to his pocket. Half
asleep, and wholly drunk, he made not he smallest show of resistance; he
surrendered all his money, watches, and diamonds, save a little that
was sewn into his neckcloth, and sulkily crawled up to his bed-chamber.
Thither the troopers followed him, and having restored some nine pounds
at his urgent demand, they watched his heavy slumbers. For all his
brandy Simms slept but uneasily, and awoke in the night sick with the
remorse which is bred of ruined plans and a splitting head. He got up
wearily, and sat over the fire 'a good deal chagrined,' to quote his own
simple phrase, at his miserable capture. Escape seemed hopeless indeed;
there crouched the vigilant troopers, scowling on their prey. A thousand
plans chased each other through the hero's fuddled brain, and at last
he resolved to tempt the cupidity of his guardians, and to make himself
master of their fire-arms. There were still left him a couple of seals,
one gold, the other silver, and watching his opportunity, Simms flung
them with a flourish in the fire. It fell out as he expected; the hungry
troopers made a dash to save the trinkets; the prisoner seized a brace
of pistols and leapt to the door. But, alas, the pistols missed fire,
Harry was immediately overpowered, and on the morrow was carried, sick
and sorry, before the Justice. From Dunstable he travelled his last
journey to Newgate, and, being condemned at the Old Bailey, he was
hanged till he was dead, and his body thereafter was carried for
dissection to a surgeon's in that same Covent Garden where he first
deserted his hackney cab for the pleasures of the town.
'Gentleman Harry' was neither a brilliant thief nor a courteous
highwayman. There was no touch of the grand manner even in his prettiest
achievement. His predecessors had made a pistol and a vizard an
overwhelming terror, and he did but profit by their tradition when
he bade the cowed traveller stand and deliver. His profession, as he
practised it, neither demanded skill nor incurred danger. Though he
threatened death at every encounter, you never hear that he pulled a
trigger throughout his career. If his opponent jeered and rode off, he
rode off with a whole skin and a full pocket. Once even this renowned
adventurer accepted the cut of a riding-whip across his face, nor made
any attempt to avenge the insult. But his manifold shortcomings were no
hindrance to his success. Wherever he went, between London and York,
he stopped coaches and levied his tax. A threatening voice, an arched
eyebrow, an arrogant method of fingering an unloaded pistol, conspired
with the craven, indolent habit of the time to make his every journey
a procession of triumph. He was capable of performing all such feats
as the age required of him. But you miss the spirit, the bravery, the
urbanity, and the wit, which made the adventurer of the seventeenth
century a figure of romance.
One point only of the great tradition did Harry Simms remember. He was
never unwilling to restore a trinket made precious by sentiment. Once
when he took a gold ring from a gentleman's finger a gentlewoman burst
into tears, exclaiming, 'There goes your father's ring.' Whereupon Simms
threw all his booty into a hat, saying, 'For God's sake, take that or
anything else you please.' In all other respects he was a bully, with
the hesitancy of a coward, rather than the proper rival of Hind or
Duval. Apart from the exercise of his trade, he was a very Mohock for
brutality. He would ill-treat his victims, whenever their drunkenness
permitted the freedom, and he had no better gifts for the women who were
kind to him than cruelty and neglect. One of his many imprisonments was
the result of a monstrous ferocity. 'Unluckily in a quarrel,' he tells
you gravely, 'I ran a crab-stick into a woman's eye'; and well did he
deserve his sojourn in the New Prison. At another time he rewarded the
keeper of a coffee-house, who supported him for six months, by stealing
her watch; and, when she grumbled at his insolence, he reflected, with a
chuckle, that she could more easily bear the loss of her watch than the
loss of her lover. Even in his gaiety there was an unpleasant spice
of greed and truculence. Once, when he was still seen in fashionable
company, he went to a masquerade, dressed in a rich Spanish habit,
lent him by a Captain in the Guards, and he made so fine a show that
he captivated a young and beautiful Cyprian, whom, when she would have
treated him with generosity, he did but reward with the loss of all her
jewels.
Moreover, he had so small a regard for his craft, that he would spoil
his effects by drink or debauchery; and, though a highwayman, he cared
so little for style, that he would as lief trick a drunken gamester as
face his man on Bagshot Heath or beneath the shade of Epping Forest.
You admire not his success, because, like the success of the popular
politician, it depended rather upon his dupes than upon his merit. You
approve not his raffish exploits in the hells of Covent Garden or Drury
Lane. But you cannot withhold respect from his consistent dandyism, and
you are grateful for the record that, engaged in a mean enterprise, he
was dressed 'in a green velvet frock and a short lac'd waistcoat.' Above
all, his picturesque capture at Hockcliffe atones for much stupidity.
The resolution, wavering at the wine glass, the last drunken ride from
St. Albans--these are inventions in experience, which should make Simms
immortal. And when he sits 'by the fireside a good deal chagrined,'
he recalls the arrest of a far greater man--even of Cartouche, who
was surprised by the soldiers at his bedside stitching a torn pair of
breeches. His autobiography, wherein 'he relates the truth as a dying
man,' seemed excellent in the eyes of Borrow, who loved it so well that
he imagined a sentence, ascribed it falsely to Simms, and then rewarded
it with extravagant applause.
But Gentleman Harry knew how to tell a simple story, and the book, 'all
wrote by myself while under sentence of death,' is his best performance.
In action he had many faults, for, if he was a highwayman among rakes,
he was but a rake among highwaymen.