IX.

The word "republican" came up to-day in a lesson, and I asked what it

meant. Four girls told me that their fathers were republicans, but they

had no idea of the meaning of the word. One lassie thought that it meant

"a man who is always quarrelling with the Tories" ... a fairly

penetrating definition.

I explained the meaning of the word, and said that a republican in this

country was wasting his time and energy. I pointed to America with its

Oil Kings, Steel Kings, Meat Kings, and called it a country worse than

Russia. I told of the corruption of politics in France.

Then I rambled on to Kings and Kingship. It is a difficult subject to

tackle even with children, but I tried to walk warily. I said that the

notion of a king was for people in an elementary stage of development.

Intellectual folk have no use for all the pomp and pageantry of

kingship. Royalty as it exists to-day is bad for us and for the royal

family. The poor princes and princesses are reared in an atmosphere of

make-believe. Their individuality and their loves are crushed by a

system. And it is really a system of lies. "In the King's name!" Why

make all this pretence when everyone knows that it is "In the Cabinet's

name"? It is not fair to the king.

I am no republican; I do not want to see monarchy abolished in this

land. I recognise that monarchy is necessary to the masses. But I want

to bring my bairns to see monarchy stripped of its robes, its pageantry,

its remoteness, its circumstance. Loyalty is a name to most of us.

People sing the National Anthem in very much the same way as they say

Grace before Meat. The Grace-sayer is thinking of his dinner; the singer

is wondering if he'll manage to get out in time to collar a taxi.

I do not blame the kings; I blame their advisers. We are kept in the

dark by them. We hear of a monarch's good deeds, but we never hear the

truth about him. The unwritten law demands that the truth shall be kept

secret until a few generations have passed. I know nothing about the

king. I don't know what he thinks of Republicanism (in his shoes I

should be a red-hot Republican), Socialism, Religion, Morals; and I want

to know whether he likes Locke's novels or Galsworthy's drama. In short,

I want to know the man that must of necessity be greater than the king.

I am tired of processions and functions.

I became a loyalist when first I went to Windsor Castle. Three massed

bands were playing in the quadrangle; thousands of visitors wandered

around. The King came to the window and bowed. I wanted to go up and

take him by the arm and say: "Poor King, you are not allowed to enjoy

the sensation of being in a crowd, you are an abstraction, you are

behind a barrier of nobility through which no commoner can pass. Come

down and have a smoke with me amongst all these typists and clerks." And

I expect that every man and woman in that crowd was thinking: "How nice

it must be to be a king!"

Yet if a king were to come down from the pedestal on which the courtiers

have placed him, I fear that the people would scorn him. They would

cry: "He is only a man!" I am forced to the conclusion that pomp and

circumstance are necessary after all. The people are to blame. The King

is all right; he looks a decent, kindly soul with a good heart. But the

people are not interested in good hearts; the fools want gilt coaches

and crimson carpets and all the rubbish of show.

* * *

A lady asked me to-day whether I taught my children manners. I told her

that I did not. She asked why. I replied that manners were sham, and my

chief duty was to get rid of sham. Then she asked me why I lifted my hat

to her ... and naturally I collapsed incontinently. Once again I write

the words, "It is a difficult thing to be a theorist ... and an honest

man at the same time."

On reflection I think that it is a case of personality _versus_ the

whole community. No man can be consistent. Were I to carry my

convictions to their natural conclusion I should be an outcast ... and

an outcast is of no value to the community. I lift my hat to a lady not

because I respect her (I occasionally do. I always doff my hat to the

school charwoman, but I am rather afraid of her), but because it is not

worth while to protest against the little things of life. Incidentally,

the whole case against hat-lifting is this:--In the lower and lower

middle classes the son does not lift his hat to his mother though he

does to the minister's wife.

No, I do not teach manners. If a boy "Sirs" me, he does it of his own

free will. I believe that you cannot teach manners; taught manners are

always forced, always overdone. My model of a true gentleman is a man

with an innate good taste and artistry. My idea of a lady ... well, one

of the truest ladies I have yet known kept a dairy in the Canongate of

Edinburgh.

I try to get my bairns to do to others as they would like others to do

to them. Shaw says "No: their tastes may not be the same as yours." Good

old G. B. S.!

I once was in a school where manners were taught religiously. I whacked

a boy one day. He said, "Thank you, sir."

* * *

I wonder how much influence on observation the so-called Nature Study

has. At one time I attended a Saturday class. We went botanising. I

learned nothing about Botany, but that was because Margaret was there. I

observed much ... her eyes were grey and her eyelashes long. We

generally managed to lose the class in less than no time. Yet we did

pretend. She was pretending to show me the something or other marks on a

horse-chestnut twig when I first kissed her. She is married now. I don't

believe in Saturday excursions.

I got up my scanty Nature Study from Grant Allen's little shilling book

on plants. It was a delightful book full of an almost Yankee

imagination. It theorised all the way ... grass developed a long narrow

blade so that it might edge its way to the sun; wild tobacco has a broad

blade because it doesn't need to care tuppence for the competition of

other plants, it can grow on wet clay of railway bankings. I think now

that Grant Allen was a romancer not a scientist.

I do not see the point in asking bairns to count the stamens of a

buttercup (Dr. Johnson hated the poets who "count the streaks of the

tulip"). But I do want to make them Grant Allens; I want them to make a

theory. Nature Study has but little result unless bairns get a lead. No

boy will guess that the lines on a petal are intended to lead bees to

the honey; at least, I know I would never have guessed it. I should

never have guessed that flowers are beautiful or perfumed in order to

attract insects. But I am really no criterion. I could not tell at this

moment the colour of my bedroom wallpaper; I can't tell whether my

father wears a moustache or side-whiskers. Until I began to teach

Woodwork I never observed a mortise, or if I did, I never wondered how

it was made. I never noticed that the tops of houses sloped downward

until I took up Perspective.

Anyway, observation is a poor attainment unless it is combined with

genius as in Darwin's case. Sherlock Holmes is a nobody. Observation

should follow fancy. The average youth has successive hobbies. He takes

up photography, and is led (sometimes) to enquire into the action of

silver salts; he takes up wood-carving, and begins to find untold

discoveries in the easy-chair.

I would advocate the keeping of animals at school. I would have a

rabbit run, a pigeon loft, one or two dogs, and a few cats for the

girls. Let a boy keep homers and fly them, and he will observe much.

Apart from the observation side of the question I would advocate a live

stock school-farm on humanitarian grounds; every child would acquire a

sense of duty to animals. I am sure all my bairns would turn out on a

Sunday to feed their pets. And what a delightful reward for kindness ...

make a boy or girl "Feeder-in-Chief" for the week! Incidentally, the

study of pigeons and rabbits would conduce to a frank realisation of

sex.

* * *

I have just bought the new shilling edition of H. G. Wells's _New Worlds

for Old_, and I have come upon this passage ... " ... Socialists turn to

the most creative profession of all, to that great calling which, with

each generation, renews the world's 'circle of ideas,' the Teachers!"

But why he puts the mark of exclamation at the end I do not know.

On the same page he says: "The constructive Socialist logically declares

the teacher master of the situation."

If the Teachers are masters of the situation I wish every teacher in

Scotland would get _The New Age_ each week. Orage's _Notes of the Week_

are easily the best commentary on the war I have seen. _The New Age_ is

so very amusing, too; its band of "warm young men" are the kind who

"can't stand Nietzsche because of his damnable philanthropy" as a

journalist friend of mine once phrased it. They despise Shaw and Wells

and Webb ... the old back-numbers. The magazine is pulsating with life

and youth. Every contributor is so cock-sure of himself. It is the only

fearless journal I know; it has no advertisements, and with

advertisements a journal is muzzled.

* * *

One or two bairns are going to try the bursary competition of the

neighbouring Secondary School, and I have just got hold of the last

year's papers.

"Name an important event in British History for each of any eight of the

following years:--1314, 1688, 1759, &c." ... and Wells says that

teaching is the most creative profession of all!

"Write an essay of twenty lines or so on any one of these

subjects:--School, Holidays, Examinations, Bursaries, Books." The

examiners might have added a few other bright interesting topics such as

Truth, Morals, Faith, Courage.

"Name the poem to which each of the following lines belongs, and add, if

you can, the next line in each case, &c." There are ten lines, and I can

only spot six of them. And I am, theoretically, an English scholar; I

took an Honours English Degree under Saintsbury. But my degree is only a

second class one; that no doubt accounts for my lack of knowledge.

That the compilers of the paper are not fools is shown by the fact that

they ask a question like this:--"A man loses a dog, you find it; write

and tell him that you have found it."

The Arithmetic paper is quite good. My bairns are to fail; I simply

cannot teach them to answer papers like these.

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