Q. (interrupting)--Does the advertisement make any qualifications as to
the stage of tne disease?
A.--Not that I find.
Q.--Have you ever seen that advertisement before?
A.--Not to my knowledge.
Q.--Who wrote it?
A. (by President Richardson)--I done that ad. myself.
Q.--Mr. Richardson, will Ozomulsion cure consumption?
A.--Sure; we got testimonials to prove it.
Q.--Have you ever investigated any of these testimonials?
Q. (to Dr. Smith)--Dr. Smith, in view of the direct statement of your
advertising, do you believe that Ozomulsion will cure consumption?
A.--Well, I believe in a great many cases it will.
Health for Five Dollars.
That is as far as Dr. Smith would go. I wonder what he would have said
as to the Dr. T. A. Slocum side of the business. Dr. Slocum puts out a
"Special Cure Offer" that will snatch you from the jaws of death, on the
{052}blanket plan, for $6, and guarantees the cure (or more medicine) for
$10. His scheme is so noble and broad-minded that I can not refrain from
detailing it. For $5 you get,
1 large bottle of Psychine,
1 large bottle of Ozomulsion,
1 large bottle of Coltsfoote Expectorant,
1 large tube of Ozojell,
3 boxes of lazy Liver Pills
3 Hot X-Ray Porous Plaster,
"which," says the certificate, "will in a majority of cases effect a
permanent care of the malady from which the invalid is now suffering."
Whatever ails you--that's what Dr. T. A. Sloram cures. For $10 you get
almost twice the amount, plus the guarantee. Surely there is little left
on earth, unless Dr. Slocum should issue a $15 offer, to include funeral
expenses and a tombstone.
The Slocum Consumption Cure proper consists of a gay-hued substance
known as "Psychine." Psychine is about 16 per cent, alcohol, and has a
dash of strychnin to give the patient his money's worth. Its alluring
color is derived from cochineal. It is "an infallible and unfailing
remedy for consumption." Ozomulsion is also a sure cure, if the
literature is to be believed. To cure one's self twice of the same
disease savors of reckless extravagance, but as "a perfect and permanent
cure will be the inevitable consequence," perhaps it's worth the money.
It would not do to charge Dr. T. A. Slocum with fraud, because he is,
I suppose, as dead as Lydia E. Pinkham; but Mr. A. Frank Richardson is
very much alive, and I trust it will be no surprise to him to see here
stated that his Ozomulsion makes claims that it can not support, that
his Psychine is considerably worse, that his special cure offer is a bit
of shameful quackery, and that his whole Slocum Consumption Cure is a
fake and a fraud so ludicrous that its continued insistence is a
brilliant commentary on human credulousness.
Since the early '60s, and perhaps before, there has constantly been in
the public prints one or another benefactor of the human race who wishes
to bestow on suffering mankind, free of charge, a remedy which has
snatched him from the brink of the grave. Such a one is Mr. W. A.
Noyes, of Rochester, N. Y. To any one who writes him he sends gratis
a prescription which will surely cure consumption. But take this
prescription to your druggist and you will fail to get it filled,
for the simple reason that the ingenious Mr. Noyes has employed a
pharmaceutical nomenclature peculiarly his own If you wish to try the
"Cannabis Sativa Remedy" (which is a mixture of hasheesh and other
drugs) you must purchase it direct from the advertiser at a price which
assures him an abnormal profit. As Mr. Noyes writes me proposing to give
special treatment for my (supposed) case, depending on a diagnosis of
sixty-seven questions, I fail to see why he is not liable for practicing
medicine without a license.
Piso Grows Cautious.
Piso's Consumption Cure, extensively advertised a year or two ago, is
apparently withdrawing from the field, so far as consumption goes,
and the Pino people are now more modestly promising to cure coughs and
colds. Old analyses give as the contents of Piso's Cure for Consumption
alcohol, chloroform, opium and cannabis indica (hasheesh). In reply
to an inquiry as to whether their remedy contains morphin and cannabis
indica, the Piso Company replies: "Since the year 1872 Piso's Cure has
contained no morphin or anything derived from opium." The question as to
cannabis indica is not answered. Analysis shows that the "cure" contains
chloroform, alcohol and apparently cannabis indica. It is, therefore,
another of the {053}remedies which can not possibly cure consumption,
but, on the contrary, tend by their poisonous and debilitating drugs to
undermine the victim's stamina.
Peruna, Liquozone, Duffy's Malt Whiskey, Pierce's Golden Medical
Discovery and the other "blanket" cures include tuberculosis in their
lists, claiming great numbers of well-authenticated cures. From the
imposing book published by the R. V. Pierce Company, of Buffalo, I took
a number of testimonials for investigation; not a large number, for I
found the consumption testimonial rather scarce. From fifteen letters I
got results in nine cases. Seven of the letters were returned to me
marked "unclaimed," of which one was marked "Name not in the dictory,"
another "No such postoffice in the state" and a third "Deceased." The
eighth man wrote that the Golden Medical Discovery had cured his cough
and blood-spitting, adding: "It is the best lung medisan I ever used for
lung trubble." The last man said he took twenty-five bottles and was
cured! Two out of nine seems to me a suspiciously small percentage of
traceable recoveries. Much stress has been laid by the Proprietary
Association of America through its press committee on the suit brought
by R. V. Pierce against the Ladies' Home Journal, the implication being
(although the suit has not yet been tried) that a reckless libeler of a
noble and worthy business has been suitably punished. In the full
appreciation of Dr. Pierce's attitude in the matter of libel, I wish to
state that in so far as its claim of curing consumption is concerned his
Golden Medical Discovery is an unqualified fraud.
[IMAGE ==>] {053}
One might suppose that the quacks would stop short of trying to deceive
the medical profession in this matter, yet the "consumption cure" may
be found disporting itself in the pages of the medical journals. For
instance, I find this advertisement in several professional magazines:
"McArthur's Syrup of Hypophosphites has proved itself, time and time
again, to be positively beneficial in this condition [tuberculosis]
in the hands of prominent observers, clinicians and, what is more,
practicing physicians, hundreds of whom have written their admiring
encomiums in {054}its behalf, and it is the enthusiastic conviction of
many that _its effect is truly specific_" Which, translated into lay
terms, means that the syrup will cure consumption. I find also in the
medical press "a sure cure for dropsy," fortified with a picture worthy
of Swamp-Root or Lydia Pinkham. Both of these are frauds in attempting
to foster the idea that they will _cure_ the diseases, and they are
none the less fraudulent for being advertised to the medical profession
instead of to the laity.
Is there, then, no legitimate advertising of preparations useful in
diseases such as tuberculosis? Very little, and that little mostly in
the medical journals, exploiting products which tend to build up and
strengthen the patient. There has recently appeared, however, one
advertisement in the lay press which seems to me a legitimate attempt
to push a nostrum. It is reproduced at the beginning of this article.
Notice, first, the frank statement that there is no specific for
consumption; second, that there is no attempt to deceive the public into
the belief that the emulsion will be helpful in all cases. Whether or
not Scott's Emulsion is superior to other cod-liver oils is beside the
present question. If all patent medicine "copy" were written in the same
spirit of honesty as this, I should have been able to omit from this
series all consideration of fraud, and devote my entire attention to the
far less involved and difficult matter of poison. Unhappily, all of
the Scott's Emulsion advertising is not up to this standard. In another
newspaper I have seen an excerpt in which the Scott & Bowne Company come
perilously near making, if they do not actually make, the claim that
their emulsion is a cure, and furthermore make themselves ridiculous by
challenging comparison with another emulsion, suggesting a chemical test
and offering, if their nostrum comes out second best, _to give to the
institution making the experiment a supply of their oil free for a
year_. This is like the German druggist who invented a heart-cure and
offered two cases to any one who could prove that it was injurious!
Consumption is not the only incurable disease in which there are good
pickings for the birds of prey. In a recent issue of the New York Sunday
_American-Journal_ I find three cancer cures, one dropsy cure, one
"heart-disease soon cured," three epilepsy cures and a "case of
paralysis cured." Cancer yields to but one agency--the knife. Epilepsy
is either the result of pressure on the brain or some obscure cerebral
disease; medicine can never cure it. Heart disease is of many kinds, and
a drug that may be helpful in relieving symptoms in one case might be
fatal in another. The same is true of dropsy. Medical science knows no
"cure" for paralysis. As space lacks to consider individually the nature
of each nostrum separately, I list briefly, for the protection of those
who read, a number of the more conspicuous swindles of this kind now
being foisted on the public:
Rupert Wells' Radiatized Fluid, for cancer.
Miles' Heart Disease Cure.
Miles' Grand Dropsy Cure.
Dr. Tucker's Epilepsy Cure.
Dr. Grant's Epilepsy Cure.
W. H. May's Epilepsy Cure.
Dr. Kline's Epilepsy Cure.
Dr. W. 0. Bye's Cancer Cure.
Mason's Cancer Cure.
Dr. Williams' Pink Pills for Pale People,
which are advertised to cure paralysis and are a compound of green
vitriol, starch and sugar.
Purchasers of these nostrums not only waste their money, but in many
cases they throw away their only chance by delaying proper treatment
until it is too late. {055}
Properly, a "cure" known as Bioplasm belongs in this list, but so
ingenious are its methods that it deserves some special attention. In
some of the New York papers a brief advertisement, reading as follows,
occupies a conspicuous position.
"After suffering for ten years the torture that only an ataxic can know,
Mr. E. P. Burnham, of Delmar, N. Y., has been relieved of all pain and
restored to health and strength, and the ability to resume his usual
pursuits, by an easily obtained and inexpensive treatment which
any druggist can furnish. To any fellow-sufferer who mails him a
self-addressed envelope Mr. Burnham sends free this prescription which
cured him."--Adv.
Now, people who give away something for nothing, and spend money
advertising for a chance to do it, are as rare in the patent medicine
business as out of it, and Delmar, N. Y., is not included in any map of
Altruria that I have learned of E. P. Burnham, therefore, seemed worth
writing to. The answer came back promptly, inclosing the prescription
and explaining the advertiser's purpose:
"My only motive in the notice which caught your attention is to help
other sufferers. _You owe me nothing. I have nothing to sell_. When
you are benefited, however, if you feel disposed and able to send me
a contribution to assist me in making this great boon to our
felow-sufferers better known it will be thankfully received and used for
that purpose."
I fear that Mr. Burnham doesn't make much money out of grateful
correspondents who were cured of locomotor ataxia by his prescription,
because locomotor ataxia is absolutely and hopelessly incurable. Where
Mr. Burnham gets his reward, I fancy, is from the Bioplasm Company, of
100 William street, New York, whose patent medicine is prescribed for
me. I should like to believe that his "only motive is to help other
sufferers," but as I find, on investigation, that the advertising agents
who handle the "Burnham" account are the Bioplasm Company's agents, I am
regretfully compelled to believe that Mr. Burnham, instead of being of
the tribe of the good Samaritan, is probably an immediate relative of
Ananias. The Bioplasm Company also proposes to cure consumption, and is
worthy of a conspicuous place in the Fraud's Gallery of Nostrums.
Even the skin of the Ethiop is not exempt from the attention of the
quacks. A colored correspondent writes, asking that I "give a paragraph
to these frauds who cater to the vanity of those of my race who insult
their Creator in attempting to change their color and hair," and inclose
a typical advertisement of "Lustorene," which "straightens kinky, nappy,
curly hair," and of "Lustorone Face Bleach," which "whitens the darkest
skin" and will "bring the skin to any desired shade or color." Nothing
could better illustrate to what ridiculous lengths the nostrum fraud
will go. Of course, the Lustorone business is fraudulent. Some time
since a Virginia concern, which advertised to turn negroes white, was
suppressed by the Postoffice Department, which might well turn its
attention to Lustorone Face Bleach.
There are being exploited in this country to-day more than 100 cures,
for diseases that are absolutely beyond the reach of drugs. They
are owned by men who know them to be swindles, and who in private
conversation will almost always evade the direct statement that their
nostrums will "cure" consumption, epilepsy, heart disease and ailments
of that nature. Many of them "guarantee" their remedies. They will
return your money if you aren't satisfied. And they can afford to. They
take the lightest of risks. The real risk is all on the other side.
It is their few pennies per bottle against your life. Were the facile
patter by which they lure to the bargain a menace to the pocketbook
alone, one might regard them only as ordinary {056}followers of light
finance, might imagine them filching their gain with the confidential,
half-brazen, half-ashamed leer of the thimblerigger. But the matter
goes further and deeper. Every man who trades in this market, whether he
pockets the profits of the maker, the purveyor or the advertiser, takes
toll of blood. He may not deceive himself here, for here the patent
medicine is nakedest, most cold-hearted. Relentless greed sets the trap
and death is partner in the enterprise.