Catherine of Cleves was a Lady of rank,
She had lands and fine houses, and cash in the bank;
She had jewels and rings, And a thousand smart things;
Was lovely and young, With a rather sharp tongue,
And she wedded a Noble of high degree
With the star of the order of _St. Esprit_;
But the Duke de Guise Was, by many degrees,
Her senior, and not very easy to please;
He'd a sneer on his lip, and a scowl with his eye,
And a frown on his brow,--and he look'd like a Guy,--
So she took to intriguing With Monsieur St. Megrin,
A young man of fashion, and figure, and worth,
But with no great pretensions to fortune or birth;
He would sing, fence, and dance
With the best man in France,
And took his rappee with genteel _nonchalance_;
He smiled, and he flattered, and flirted with ease,
And was very superior to Monseigneur de Guise.
Now Monsieur St. Megrin was curious to know
If the lady approved of his passion or no;
So without more ado, He put on his _surtout_,
And went to a man with a beard like a Jew,
One Signor Ruggieri, A cunning man near, he
Could conjure, tell fortunes, and calculate tides,
Perform tricks on the cards, and Heaven knows what besides,
Bring back a stray'd cow, silver ladle, or spoon,
And was thought to be thick with the Man in the Moon.
The Sage took his stand With his wand in his hand,
Drew a circle, then gave the dread word of command,
Saying solemnly--"_Presto!--Hey, quick!--Cock-a-lorum!_"
When the Duchess immediately popp'd up before 'em.
Just then a conjunction of Venus and Mars,
Or something peculiar above in the stars,
Attracted the notice of Signor Ruggieri,
Who "bolted," and left him alone with his deary.--
Monsieur St. Megrin went down on his knees,
And the Duchess shed tears large as marrow-fat peas,
When,--fancy the shock,--a loud double-knock,
Made the lady cry, "Get up, you fool!--there's De Guise!"--
'Twas his Grace, sure enough; So Monsieur, looking bluff,
Strutted by, with his hat on, and fingering his ruff,
While, unseen by either, away flew the dame
Through the opposite key-hole, the same way she came;
But, alack! and alas! A mishap came to pass,
In her hurry she, somehow or other, let fall
A new silk _bandana_ she'd worn as a shawl;
She used it for drying Her bright eyes while crying,
Ane blowing her nose, as her beau talk'd of dying!
Now the Duke, who had seen it so lately adorn her,
And he knew the great C with the Crown in the corner,
The instant he spied it, smoked something amiss,
And said, with some energy, "D---- it! what's this?"
He went home in a fume, And bounced into her room,
Crying, "So, Ma'am, I find I've some cause to be jealous!
Look here!--here's a proof you run after the fellows!
--Now take up that pen,--if it's bad choose a better,--
And write, as I dictate, this moment a letter
To Monsieur--you know who!" The lady look'd blue;
But replied with much firmness--"Hang me if I do!"
De Guise grasped her wrist With his great bony fist,
And pinched it, and gave it so painful a twist,
That his hard gauntlet the flesh went an inch in,--
She did not mind death, but she could not stand pinching;
So she sat down and wrote This polite little note:--
"Dear Mister St. Megrin, The Chiefs of the League in
Our house mean to dine This evening at nine;
I shall, soon after ten, Slip away from the men,
And you'll find me upstairs in the drawing-room then;
Come up the back way, or those impudent thieves
Of servants will see you; Yours
CATHERINE OF CLEVES."
She directed and sealed it, all pale as a ghost,
And De Guise put it into the Twopenny Post.
St. Megrin had almost jumped out of his skin
For joy that day when the post came in;
He read the note through Then began it anew,
And thought it almost too good news to be true.--
He clapp'd on his hat, And a hood over that,
With a cloak to disguise him, and make him look fat;
So great his impatience, from half after Four,
He was waiting till Ten at De Guise's backdoor.
When he heard the great clock of St. Genevieve chime,
He ran up the back staircase six steps at a time,
He had scarce made his bow, He hardly knew how,
When alas! and alack! There was no getting back,
For the drawing-room door was bang'd to with a whack;--
In vain he applied To the handle and tried,
Somebody or other had locked it outside!
And the Duchess in agony mourn'd her mishap:
"We are caught like a couple of rats in a trap."
Now the Duchess's page, About twelve years of age,
For so little a boy was remarkably sage;
And, just in the nick, to their joy and amazement,
Popp'd the gas-lighter's ladder close under the casement.
But all would not do,--Though St. Megrin got through
The window,--below stood De Guise and his crew.
And though never man was more brave than St. Megrin,
Yet fighting a score is extremely fatiguing;
He thrust _carte_ and _tierce_ Uncommonly fierce,
But not Beelzebub's self could their cuirasses pierce:
While his doublet and hose, Being holiday clothes,
Were soon cut through and through from his knees to his nose.
Still an old crooked sixpence the Conjurer gave him,
From pistol and sword was sufficient to save him,
But, when beat on his knees, That confounded De Guise
Came behind with the "fogle" that caused all this breeze,
Whipp'd it tight round his neck, and, when backward he'd jerk'd him,
The rest of the rascals jump'd on him and Burked him.
The poor little page, too, himself got no quarter, but
Was served the same way, And was found the next day
With his heels in the air, and his head in the water-butt;
Catherine of Cleves Roar'd "Murder!" and "Thieves!"
From the window above While they murder'd her love;
Till, finding the rogues had accomplish'd his slaughter,
She drank Prussic acid without any water,
And died like a Duke-and-a-Duchess's daughter!
CHATTER OF A DILETTANTE
[Sidenote: _Horace Walpole_]
The people are good-humoured here and easy; and, what makes me pleased
with them, they are pleased with me. One loves to find people who care
for one, when they can have no view in it.
[Sidenote: _Horace Walpole_]
As to "Hosier's Ghost," I think it very easy, and consequently pretty;
but, from the ease, should never have guessed it Glover's. I delight in
your, "the patriots cry it up, and the courtiers cry it down, and the
hawkers cry it up and down."
[Sidenote: _Horace Walpole_]
There is a little book coming out that will amuse you. It is a new
edition of Isaac Walton's "Complete Angler," full of anecdotes and
historic notes. It is published by Mr. Hawkins, a very worthy gentleman
in my neighbourhood, but who, I could wish, did not think angling so
very _innocent_ an amusement. We cannot live without destroying animals,
but shall we torture them for our sport--sport in their destruction? I
met a rough officer at his house t'other day, who said he knew such a
person was turning Methodist; for, in the middle of conversation, he
rose and opened the window to let out a moth. I told him I did not know
that the Methodists had any principle so good, and that I, who am
certainly not on the point of becoming one, always did so too. One of
the bravest and best men I ever knew, Sir Charles Wager, I have often
heard declare he never killed a fly willingly. It is a comfortable
reflection to me, that all the victories of last year have been gained
since the suppression of the Bear Garden and prize-fighting; as it is
plain, and nothing else would have made it so, that our valour did not
singly and solely depend upon these two Universities. Adieu!
[Sidenote: _Horace Walpole_]
Can we easily leave the remains of such a year as this? It is still all
gold. I have not dined or gone to bed by a fire till the day before
yesterday. Instead of the glorious and ever-memorable year 1759, as the
newspapers call it, I call it this ever-warm and victorious year. We
have not had more conquest than fine weather; one would think we had
plundered East and West Indies of sunshine. Our bells are worn
threadbare with ringing for victories. I believe it will require ten
votes of the House of Commons before people will believe it is the Duke
of Newcastle that has done this, and not Mr. Pitt. One thing is very
fatiguing--all the world is made knights or generals. Adieu! I don't
know a word of news less than the conquest of America. Adieu! yours
ever.
P.S.--You shall hear from me again if we take Mexico or China before
Christmas.
[Sidenote: _Horace Walpole_]
You are so thoughtless about your dress that I cannot help giving you a
little warning against your return. Remember, everybody that comes from
abroad is _censé_ to come from France, and whatever they wear at their
first reappearance immediately grows the fashion. Now if, as is very
likely, you should through inadvertence change hats with a master of a
Dutch smack, Offley will be upon the watch, will conclude you took your
pattern from M. de Bareil, and in a week's time we shall all be equipped
like Dutch skippers. You see I speak very disinterestedly; for, as I
never wear a hat myself, it is indifferent to me what sort of hat I
don't wear.
[Sidenote: _Horace Walpole_]
Lord Frederick Cavendish is returned from France. He confirms and adds
to the amiable accounts we have received of the Duc d'Aiguillon's
behaviour to our prisoners. You yourself, the pattern of attentions and
tenderness, could not refine on what he has done both in good-nature and
good-breeding: he even forbad any ringing of bells or rejoicings
wherever they passed--but how your representative blood will curdle when
you hear of the absurdity of one of your countrymen: the night after the
massacre at St. Cas, the Duc d'Aiguillon gave a magnificent supper of
eighty covers to our prisoners--a Colonel Lambert got up at the bottom
of the table, and, asking for a bumper, called out to the Duc, "My Lord
Duke, here's the Roy de Franse!" You must put all the English you can
crowd into the accent. _My Lord Duke_ was so confounded at this
preposterous compliment, which it was impossible for him to return, that
he absolutely sank back into his chair and could not utter a syllable:
our own people did not seem to feel more.
[Sidenote: _Horace Walpole_]
Well! and so you think we are undone!--not at all; if folly and
extravagance are symptoms of a nation's being at the height of their
glory, as after-observers pretend that they are forerunners of its ruin,
we never were in a more flourishing situation. My Lord Rockingham and my
nephew Lord Orford have made a match of five hundred pounds, between
five turkeys and five geese, to run from Norwich to London. Don't you
believe in the transmigration of souls? And are you not convinced that
this race is between Marquis Sardanapalus and Earl Heliogabalus? And
don't you pity the poor Asiatics and Italians who comforted themselves,
on their resurrection, with their being geese and turkeys?
[Sidenote: _Horace Walpole_]
Here's another symptom of our glory! The Irish Speaker, Mr. Ponsonby,
has been _reposing_ himself at _Newmarket_. George Selwyn, seeing him
toss about bank-bills at the hazard-table, said, "How easily the Speaker
passes the money-bills!"
[Sidenote: _Horace Walpole_]
You would be more diverted with a Mrs. Holman, whose passion is keeping
an assembly, and inviting literally everybody to it. She goes to the
drawing-room to watch for sneezes; whips out a curtsy, and then sends
next morning to know how your cold does, and to desire your company next
Thursday.
[Sidenote: _Horace Walpole_]
For my own part, I comfort myself with the humane reflection of the
Irishman in the ship that was on fire--I am but a passenger! If I were
not so indolent, I think I should rather put in practice the late
Duchess of Bolton's geographical resolution of going to China, when
Whiston told her the world would be burnt in three years. Have you any
philosophy? Tell me what you think.
[Sidenote: _Horace Walpole_]
If it was not too long to transcribe, I would send you an entertaining
petition of the periwig-makers to the King, in which they complain that
men will wear their own hair. Should one almost wonder if carpenters
were to remonstrate that since the peace their trade decays, and that
there is no demand for wooden legs? _Apropos_ my Lady Hertford's friend,
Lady Harriot Vernon, has quarrelled with me for smiling at the enormous
head-gear of her daughter, Lady Grosvenor. She came one night to
Northumberland House with such display of friz that it literally spread
beyond her shoulders. I happened to say it looked as if her parents had
stinted her in hair before marriage, and that she had determined to
indulge her fancy now. This, among ten thousand things said by all the
world, was reported to Lady Harriot, and has occasioned my disgrace. As
she never found fault with anybody herself, I excuse her. You will be
less surprised to hear that the Duchess of Queensberry has not yet done
dressing herself marvellously: she was at Court on Sunday in a gown and
petticoat of red flannel.
[Sidenote: _Horace Walpole_]
You perceive that I have been presented. The Queen took great notice of
me; none of the rest said a syllable. You are let into the King's
bedchamber just as he has put on his shirt; he dresses and talks
good-humouredly to a few, glares at strangers, goes to mass, to dinner,
and a-hunting. The good old Queen, who is like Lady Primrose in the
face, is at her dressing-table, attended by two or three old ladies, who
are languishing to be in Abraham's bosom, as the only man's bosom to
whom they can hope for admittance.
[Sidenote: _Horace Walpole_]
Old age is no such uncomfortable thing, if one gives oneself up to it
with a good grace, and don't drag it about
To midnight dances and the public show.
If one stays quietly in one's own house in the country, and cares for
nothing but oneself, scolds one's servants, condemns everything that is
new, and recollects how charming a thousand things were formerly that
were very disagreeable, one gets over the winters very well, and the
summers get over themselves.
[Sidenote: _Horace Walpole_]
As I was writing this, my servants called me away to see a balloon; I
suppose Blanchard's, that was to be let off from Chelsea this morning. I
saw it from the common field before the window of my round tower. It
appeared about a third of the size of the moon, or less, when setting,
something above the tops of the trees on the level horizon. It was then
descending; and, after rising and declining a little, it sunk slowly
behind the trees, I should think about or beyond Sunbury, at five
minutes after one. But you know I am a very inexact guesser at measures
and distances, and may be mistaken in many miles; and you know how
little I have attended to these _airgonauts_: only t'other night I
diverted myself with a sort of meditation on future _airgonation_,
supposing that it will not only be perfected, but will depose
navigation. I did not finish it, because I am not skilled, like the
gentleman that used to write political ship-news, in that style which I
wanted to perfect my essay; but in the prelude I observed how ignorant
the ancients were in supposing Icarus melted the wax of his wings by too
near access to the sun, whereas he would have been frozen to death
before he made the first post on that road. Next, I discovered an
alliance between Bishop Wilkin's art of flying and his plan of universal
language; the latter of which he no doubt calculated to prevent the want
of an interpreter when he should arrive at the moon.
But I chiefly amused myself with ideas of the change that would be made
in the world by the substitution of balloons to ships. I supposed our
seaports to become _deserted villages_; and Salisbury Plain, Newmarket
Heath (another canvass for alteration of ideas), and all downs (but
_the_ Downs) arising into dockyards for aerial vessels. Such a field
would be ample in furnishing new speculations. But to come to my
ship-news:
"The good balloon Dædalus, Captain Wingate, will fly in a few days for
China; he will stop at the top of the Monument to take in passengers.
"Arrived on Brand-sands, the Vulture, Captain Nabob; the Tortoisesnow,
from Lapland; the Pet-en-l'air, from Versailles; the Dreadnought, from
Mount Etna, Sir W. Hamilton, commander; the Tympany, Montgolfier; and
the Mine-A-in-a-bandbox, from the Cape of Good Hope. Foundered in a
hurricane, the Bird of Paradise, from Mount Ararat. The Bubble, Sheldon,
took fire, and was burnt to her gallery; and the Phoenix is to be cut
down to a second-rate."
In those days Old Sarum will again be a town and have houses in it.
There will be fights in the air with wind-guns and bows and arrows; and
there will be prodigious increase of land for tillage, especially in
France, by breaking up all public roads as useless.
[Sidenote: _Horace Walpole_]
One of the Duke of Marlborough's generals, dining with the Lord Mayor,
an Alderman who sat next to him said, "Sir, yours must be a very
laborious profession." "No," replied the general, "we fight about four
hours in the morning, and two or three after dinner, and then we have
all the rest of the day to ourselves."
HIS MARRIAGE
[Sidenote: _William Cobbett_]
When I first saw my wife she was _thirteen years old_.[5] I was within a
month of _twenty-one_.[6] She was the daughter of a sergeant of
artillery, and I was the sergeant-major of a regiment of foot, both
stationed in forts near the city of St. John, in the province of New
Brunswick. I sat in the same room with her for about an hour, in the
company of others, and I made up my mind that she was the very girl for
me. That I thought her beautiful is certain, for that, I had always
said, should be an indispensable qualification; but I saw in her what I
deemed marks of that sobriety of _conduct_ ... which has been by far the
greatest blessing of my life. It was now dead of winter, and, of course,
the snow several feet deep on the ground, and the weather piercing cold.
It was my habit, when I had done my morning's writing, to go out at
break of day to take a walk on a hill at the foot of which our barracks
lay. In about three mornings after I had first seen her, I had, by an
invitation to breakfast with me, got up two young men to join me in my
walk; and our road lay by the house of her father and mother. It was
hardly light, but she was out on the snow scrubbing out a washing-tub.
"That's the girl for me," said I, when we had got out of hearing.
One of these young men came to England soon afterwards; and he, who
keeps an inn in Yorkshire, came over to Preston at the time of the
election (in 1826) to verify whether I were the same man. When he found
that I was he appeared surprised; but what was his surprise when I told
him that those tall young men whom he saw around me were the _sons_ of
that pretty little girl that he and I saw scrubbing out the washing-tub
on the snow in New Brunswick at day-break in the morning!
From the day that I first spoke to her I never had a thought of her ever
being the wife of any other man, more than I had a thought of her being
transformed into a chest of drawers; and I formed my resolution at once,
to marry her as soon as we could get permission, and to get out of the
army as soon as I could. So that this matter was at once settled as
firmly as if written in the book of fate. At the end of about six months
my regiment, and I along with it, were removed to Fredericton, a
distance of _a hundred miles_ up the river of St. John; and, which was
worse, the artillery was expected to go off to England a year or two
before our regiment! The artillery went, and she along with them; and
now it was that I acted a part becoming a real and sensible lover. I was
aware that, when she got to that gay place Woolwich, the house of her
father and mother, necessarily visited by numerous people, not the most
select, might become unpleasant to her, and I did not like, besides,
that she should continue to _work hard_. I had saved _a hundred and
fifty_ guineas, the earnings of my early hours, in writing for the
paymaster, the quartermaster, and others, in addition to the savings of
my own pay. _I sent her all my money_ before she sailed, and wrote to
her to beg of her, if she found her home uncomfortable, to hire a
lodging with respectable people, and, at any rate, not to spare the
money by any means, but to buy herself good clothes, and to live without
hard work, until I arrived in England; and I, in order to induce her to
lay out the money, told her that I should get plenty more before I came
home.
As the malignity of the devil would have it, we were kept abroad _two
years longer_ than our time, Mr. Pitt (England not being so tame then as
she is now[7]) having knocked up a dust with Spain about Nootka Sound.
Oh, how I cursed Nootka Sound, and poor bawling Pitt too, I am afraid!
At the end of _four years_, however, home I came, landed at Portsmouth,
and got my discharge from the army by the great kindness of poor Lord
Edward FitzGerald, who was then the major of my regiment. I found my
little girl _a servant of all work_ (and hard work it was) _at five
pounds a year_, in the house of a Captain Brisac; and, without hardly
saying a word about the matter, she put into my hands the whole of my
hundred and fifty guineas unbroken!
LIFE AT BOTLEY
[Sidenote: _William Cobbett_]
But, to do the things I did, you must love _home_ yourself. To rear up
children, in this manner, you must _live with them_; you must make them,
too, _feel_ by your conduct, that you _prefer_ this to any other mode of
passing your time. All men cannot lead this sort of life, but many may;
and all much more than many do. My occupation, to be sure, was chiefly
carried on _at home_; but I had always enough to do. I never spent an
idle week, or even day, in my whole life. Yet I found time to talk with
them, to walk, or ride, about _with them_; and, when forced to go from
home, always took one or more with me. You must be good-tempered, too,
with them; they must like _your_ company better than any other person's;
they must not wish you away, not fear your coming back, not look upon
your departure as a _holiday_....
When I went from home, all followed me to the outer gate, and looked
after me, till the carriage, or horse, was out of sight. At the time
appointed for my return, all were prepared to meet me; and, if it were
late at night, they sat up as long as they were able to keep their eyes
open. This love of parents, and this constant pleasure _at home_ made
them not even think of seeking pleasure abroad; and they, thus, were
kept from vicious playmates and early corruption.
This is the age, too, to teach children to be _trustworthy_, and to be
_merciful_ and _humane_. We lived _in a garden_ of about two acres,
partly kitchen-garden with walls, partly shrubbery and trees, and partly
grass. There were the _peaches_, as tempting as any that ever grew, and
yet as safe from fingers as if no child were ever in the garden. It was
not necessary to forbid. The blackbirds, the thrushes, the
white-throats, and even that very shy bird the goldfinch had their nests
and bred up their young ones in great abundance, all about this little
spot, constantly the play-place of six children; and one of the latter
had its nest and brought up its young ones in a _raspberry-bush_, within
two yards of a walk, and at the time that we were gathering the ripe
raspberries. We give _dogs, _and justly, great credit for sagacity and
memory; but the following two most curious instances, which I should not
venture to state, if there were not so many witnesses to the facts, in
my neighbours at Botley, as well as in my own family, will show, that
_birds_ are not, in this respect, inferior to the canine race. All
country people know that the skylark is a very shy bird; that its abode
is the open fields; that it settles on the ground only; that it seeks
safety in the wideness of space; that it avoids enclosures, and is never
seen in gardens. A part of our ground was a grass-plot of about _forty
rods,_ or a quarter of an acre, which, one year, was left to be mowed
for hay. A pair of larks, coming out of the fields into the midst of a
pretty populous village, chose to make their nest in the middle of this
little spot and at not more than about _thirty-five yards_ from one of
the doors of the house, in which there were about twelve persons living,
and six of these children, who had constant access to all parts of the
ground. There we saw the cock rising up and singing, then taking his
turn upon the eggs; and by and by we observed him cease to sing, and saw
them both _constantly engaged in bringing food to the young ones_. No
unintelligible hint to fathers and mothers of the human race, who have,
before marriage, taken delight in _music_. But the time came for _mowing
the grass!_ I waited a good many days for the brood to get away, but at
last I determined on the day; and if the larks were there still, to
leave a patch of grass standing around them. In order not to keep them
in dread longer than necessary, I brought three able mowers, who would
cut the whole in about an hour; and, as the plat was nearly circular,
set them to mow _round_, beginning at the outside. And now for sagacity
indeed! The moment the men began to whet their scythes, the two old
larks began to flutter over the nest, and to make a great clamour. When
the men began to mow, they flew round and round, stooping so low, when
near the men, as almost to touch their bodies, making a great chattering
at the same time; but, before the men had got round with the second
swath, they flew to the nest, and away they went, young ones and all,
across the river, at the foot of the ground, and settled in the long
grass in my neighbour's orchard.
The other instance relates to a house-marten. It is well known that
these birds build their nests under the eaves of inhabited houses, and
sometimes under those of door-porches; but we had one that built its
nest _in the house_, and upon the top of a common door-case, the door of
which opened into a room out of the main passage into the house.
Perceiving that the marten had begun to build its nest here, we kept the
front door open in the day-time, but were obliged to fasten it at night.
It went on, had eggs, young ones, and the young ones flew. I used to
open the door in the morning early, and then the birds carried on their
affairs till night. The next _year_ the marten came again, and had
_another brood in the same place_. It found its _old nest_; and, having
repaired it, and put it in order, went on again in the former way; and
it would, I dare say, have continued to come to the end of its life, if
we had remained there so long, notwithstanding there were six healthy
children in the house making just as much noise as they pleased.
HIS CHILDREN
[Sidenote: _William Cobbett_]
We wanted no stimulants of this sort [he is referring to social
dissipation, romances, and playhouses] to _keep up our spirits_; our
various pleasing pursuits were quite sufficient for that; and the
_book-learning_ came amongst the rest of the pleasures, to which it was,
in some sort, necessary. I remember that, one year, I raised a
prodigious crop of fine _melons_, under hand-glasses; and I learned how
to do it from a gardening-_book_; or, at least, that book was necessary
to remind me of the details. Having passed part of an evening in talking
to the boys about getting this crop, "Come," said I, "now let us _read
the book."_ Then the book came forth, and to work we went, following
very strictly the precepts of the book. I read the thing but once, but
the eldest boy read it, perhaps, twenty times over; and explained all
about the matter to the others. Why, here was a _motive_! Then he had to
tell the garden labourer _what to do_ to the melons. Now, I will engage,
that more was really _learned_ by this single _lesson_, than would have
been learned by spending, at this son's age, a year at school; and he
_happy_ and _delighted_ all the while. When any dispute arose among them
about hunting or shooting, or any other of their pursuits, they, by
degrees, found out the way of settling it by reference to some book;
and, when any difficulty occurred as to the meaning, they referred to
me, who, if at home, _always instantly attended to them_ in these
matters.
They began writing by taking words out of _printed books_: finding out
which letter was which, by asking me, or asking those who knew the
letters one from the other; and, by imitating bits of my writing, it is
surprising how soon they began to write a hand like mine, very small,
very faint-stroked, and nearly plain as print. The first use that any of
them made of the pen, was to _write to me_, though in the same house
with them. They began doing this in mere _scratches_, before they knew
how to make any one letter; and, as I was always folding up letters and
directing them, so were they; and they were _sure_ to receive a _prompt
answer_, with most _encouraging_ compliments. All the meddling and
teasing of friends, and, what was more serious, the pressing prayers of
their anxious mother, about sending them to _school_, I withstood
without the slightest effect on my resolutions. As to friends,
preferring my own judgment to theirs, I did not care much; but an
expression of anxiety, implying a doubt of the soundness of my own
judgment, coming, perhaps twenty times a day, from her whose care they
were as well as mine, was not a matter to smile at, and very great
trouble did it give me. My answer at last was, as to the boys, I want
them to be _like me_; and as to the girls "in whose hands can they be so
safe as in _yours_? Therefore my resolution is taken; _go to school they
shall not_."
Nothing is much more annoying than the _intermeddling of friends_ in a
case like this. The wife appeals to _them_, and "_good breeding_," that
is to say _nonsense_, is sure to put them on _her side_. Then they,
particularly the _women_, when describing the _surprising progress_ made
by their _own sons_ at school, used, if one of mine were present, to
turn to him, and ask to what school _he went_, and what _he_ was
_learning_? I leave any one to judge of _his_ opinion of her; and
whether _he_ would like her the better for that! "Bless me, so tall, and
_not learned_ anything _yet_!" "Oh, yes, he has," I used to say; "he has
learned to ride, and hunt, and shoot, and fish, and look after cattle
and sheep, and to work in the garden, and to feed his dogs, and to go
from village to village in the dark." This was the way I used to manage
with troublesome customers of this sort. And how glad the children used
to be, when they got clear of such criticising people! And how grateful
they felt to me for the _protection_ which they saw that I gave them
against that state of restraint, of which other people's boys
complained! Go whither they might, they found no place so pleasant as
home, and no soul that came near them affording them so many means of
gratification as they received from me.
THE CAP THAT FITS
[Sidenote: _Austin Dobson_]
"Qui sème épines n'aille déchaux"
_SCENE--A Salon with blue and white panels. Outside, persons pass and
repass upon a terrace_.