The agree'ble gentleman then said, "Now, I will show you our
Club. It dates back to the time of William the Conquerer."
"Did Bill belong to it?" I inquired.
"He did."
"Wall," I said, "if Billy was one of 'em, I need no other
endorsement as to its respectfulness, and I'll go with you, my
gay trooper boy!" And we went off arm-in-arm.
On the way the agree'ble man told me that the Club was called the
Sloshers. He said I would notice that none of 'em appeared in
evenin dress. He said it was agin the rools of the club. In
fack, if any member appeared there in evenin dress he'd be
instantly expeld. "And yit," he added, "there's geneyus there,
and lorfty emotions, and intelleck. You'll be surprised at the
quantities of intelleck you'll see there."
We reached the Sloshers in due time, and I must say they was a
shaky-looking lot, and the public house where they convened was
certingly none of the best.
The Sloshers crowded round me, and said I was welcome.
"What a beautiful brest-pin you've got," said one of 'em.
"Permit me," and he took it out of my neckercher. "Isn't it
luvly," he said, parsin it to another, who parsed it to another.
It was given me by my Aunt, on my promisin her I'd never swear
profanely; and I never have, except on very special occasions. I
see that beautiful boosum pin a parsin from one Slosher to
another, and I'm reminded of them sad words of the poit, "parsin
away! parsin away!" I never saw it no more.
Then in comes a athletic female, who no sooner sees me than she
utters a wild yell, and cries:
"At larst! at larst! My Wilyim, from the seas!"
I said, "not at all, Marm. Not on no account. I have heard the
boatswain pipe to quarters--but a voice in my heart didn't
whisper Seu-zan! I've belayed the marlin-spikes on the upper
jibpoop, but Seu-zan's eye wasn't on me, much. Young woman, I
am not you're Saler boy. Far different."
"Oh yes, you are!" she howled, seizin me round the neck. "Oh,
how I've lookt forwards to this meetin!"
"And you'll presently," I said, "have a opportunity of lookin
backwards to it, because I'm on the point of leavin this
institution."
I will here observe that I come of a very clever family. A very
clever fam'ly, indeed.
"Where," I cried, as I struggled in vain to release myself from
the eccentric female's claws, "where is the Capting--the man who
was into the Crimea, amidst the cannon's thunder? I want him."
He came forward, and cried, "What do I see? Me Sister! me sweet
Adulaide! and in teers! Willin!" he screamed, "and you're the
serpent I took to my boosum, and borrowed money of, and went
round with, and was cheerful with, are you?--You ought to be
ashamed of yourself."
Somehow my coat was jerked off, the brest-pocket of which
contained my pocket-book, and it parsed away like the brest pin.
Then they sorter quietly hustled me into the street.
It was about 12 at night when I reached the Green Lion.
"Ha! ha! you sly old rascal, you've been up to larks!" said the
lan'lord, larfin loudly, and digging his fist into my ribs.
I said, "Bigsby, if you do that agin, I shall hit you! Much as I
respect you and your excellent faml'y, I shall disfiger your
beneverlent countenance for life!"
"What has ruffled your spirits, friend?" said the lan'lord.
"My spirits has been ruffled," I ansered in a bittur voice, "by a
viper who was into the Crimea. What good was it," I cried, "for
Sebastopol to fall down without enwelopin in its ruins that
viper?"