It was dark night when Beth got back to the little house in Orchard
Street. She had hoped to slip in unobserved, but her mother was
looking out for her.
"Where have you been?" she demanded angrily.
Beth had come in prepared to tell the whole exciting story, but this
reception irritated her, and she answered her mother in exactly the
same tone: "I've been at Fairholm."
"What have you been doing there?" Mrs. Caldwell snapped.
"Getting myself into a mess, as any one might see who looked at me,"
Beth rejoined. "I must go and change."
"You can go to bed," said her mother.
"Thank you," said Beth, and went off straight away.
Mrs. Caldwell would have liked to have followed her, and given her a
good beating, as in the old days, had she dared. Her harshness,
however, had much the same effect upon Beth that a beating used to
have; it shut her up in herself, and deprived her of the power to take
her mother into her confidence.
Harriet followed her to her room. "Whativer 'ave you been doin'?" she
exclaimed. "You're draggled from top to toe, and your Sunday dress
too!"
"I got caught by the tide," said Beth; "and I'm done."
"Just you get into bed, then," said Harriet; "and I'll fetch you up
some tea when she goes out. She's off in a moment to Lady Benyon's."
"Bless you, Harriet!" Beth exclaimed. "I read in a book once that
there is no crime but has some time been a virtue, and I am sure it
will be a virtue to steal me some tea on this occasion, if it ever
is."
"Oh, all's fair in love and war," Harriet answered cheerfully, as she
helped Beth off with her boots; "and you and yer ma's at war again, I
guess."
"Seems like it," Beth sighed. "But stay, though. No, you mustn't steal
the tea. I promised Aunt Victoria. And that reminds me. There's some
still left in her little canister. Here, take it and make it, and have
some yourself as a reward for the trouble. Hot tea and toast, an you
love me, Harriet, and to save my life. I've had nothing but salt water
since breakfast."
When Beth went downstairs next morning, her mother scowled at her.
"What did you mean by telling me you had been at Fairholm yesterday?"
she asked.
"I meant to tell you where I had been," Beth answered impertinently.
"I saw your Aunt Grace Mary last night, and she told me she had not
seen you."
"Well, Aunt Grace Mary is a good size," Beth rejoined, "but she
doesn't cover the whole estate."
Mrs. Caldwell flushed angrily. "You're an ill-conditioned girl, and
will come to a bad end, or I'm much mistaken," she exclaimed.
"With the help of my relations, it's likely," Beth retorted.
Her mother said no more until breakfast was over, and then she ordered
her peremptorily to get out her lessons.
"Oh, lessons!" Beth grumbled. "What's the use of the kind of lessons
_I_ do? I'm none the better for knowing that Henry VIII. had six
wives, nor the happier, nor the richer; and my wit and wisdom
certainly don't increase, nor my manners improve, if you speak the
truth."
Mrs. Caldwell changed countenance. If Beth rebelled against the
home-teaching, what would happen about the money that Jim was
enjoying? Upon reflection, her mother saw she was making a mistake.
"I think," she began in a conciliatory tone, "you are right perhaps.
You had better not do any lessons this morning, for I am sure you
cannot be well, Beth, or you would never speak to your mother in such
a way."
"Well, I'm sorry, mamma," Beth rejoined in a mollified tone. "But you
know I cannot stand these everlasting naggings and scoldings. They
make me horrid. I'm pugnacious when I'm rubbed the wrong way; I can't
help it."
"There, there, then; that will do," Mrs. Caldwell replied. "Run out
and amuse yourself, or have a rest. You take too much exercise, and
tire yourself to death; and then you are _so_ cross there is no
speaking to you. Go away, like a good child, and amuse yourself until
you feel better."
Beth went back to her own room at once, only too glad to escape and be
alone. She was not well. Every bone in her body ached, and her head
was thumping so she had to lie down on her bed at last, and keep still
for the rest of the day. But her mind was active the whole time, and
it was a happy day. She expected nothing, yet she was pleasurably
satisfied, perfectly content.
The next morning at eleven there was service in the church at the end
of the road. Beth and her mother had been having the usual morning
misery at lessons, and both were exhausted when the bell began to
ring. Beth's countenance was set sullen, and Mrs. Caldwell's showed
suppressed irritation. The bell was a relief to them.
"Can I go to church?" Beth asked.
Her mother's first impulse was to say no, out of pure contrariness;
but the chance of getting rid of Beth on any honourable pretext was
too much of a temptation even for her to withstand. "Yes, if you
like," she answered ungraciously, after a moment's hesitation; "and
get some good out of it if you can," she added sarcastically.
Beth went with honest intention. There was a glow in her chest which
added fervency to her devotions, and when Alfred entered from the
vestry and took his seat in the chancel pew, happiness, tingling in
every nerve, suffused her. His first glance was for her, and Beth knew
it, but bent her head. Her soul did magnify the Lord, however, and her
spirit did rejoice in God her Saviour, with unlimited love and trust.
He had saved them, He would hear them. He would help them, He would
make them both--_both_ good and great--great after a pause, as being
perhaps not a worthy aspiration.
She did not look at Alfred a second time, but she sat and stood and
knelt, all conscious of him, and it seemed as if the service lasted
but a moment.
Directly it was over, she fled, taking the narrow path by the side of
the church to the fields; but before she was half way across the first
field, she heard a quick step following her. Beth felt she must stop
short--or run; she began to run.
"Beth! Beth! wait for me," he called.
Beth stopped, then turned to greet him shyly; but when he came close,
and put his arm round her, she looked up smiling. They gazed into each
other's eyes a moment, and then kissed awkwardly, like children.
"Were you any the worse for our adventure?" he asked. "I've been
longing to know."
"I had a headache yesterday," said Beth. "How were you?"
"All stiff and aching," he replied, "or I should have been to ask
after you."
"I'm glad you didn't come," Beth ejaculated.
"Why? I ought to know your people, you know. Why don't the Richardsons
know them?"
"Because we're poor," Beth answered bluntly; "and Mr. Richardson
neglects his poor parishioners."
"All the more reason that I should call," Alfred Cayley Pounce
persisted. "You are people of good family like ourselves, and old Rich
is a nobody."
"Yes," said Beth; "but my mother would not let me know you. She and I
are always--always--we never agree, you know. I don't think we can
help it; we certainly don't do it on purpose--at least _I_ don't; but
there's something in us that makes us jar about everything. I was
going to tell her all about you on Sunday night; but when I got in I
couldn't. She began by being angry because I was late, without waiting
to know if I were to blame, and that--that shut me up, and I never
told her; and now I don't think I could."
"But what objection can she have to me?" he asked loftily. "I really
must make her acquaintance."
"Not through me, then," said Beth. "Do you know the Benyons?"
"No, I don't know anybody in the neighbourhood as yet. I'm here with
old Rich to be crammed. My people are trying to force me into the bar
or the church or something, because I want to be a sculptor."
"Don't be forced," said Beth with spirit. "Follow your own bent. I
mean to follow mine."
"I didn't know girls had any bent," he answered dubiously.
There was a recoil in Beth. "How is it people never expect a girl to
do anything?" she exclaimed, firing up.
"I don't see what a girl can do," he rejoined, "except marry and look
after her husband and children."
"That's all right at the proper time," Beth said. "But meanwhile, and
if she doesn't marry, is she to do nothing?"
"Oh, there are always lots of little things a woman can do," he
answered airily.
"But supposing little things don't satisfy her, and she has power to
follow some big pursuit?"
"Oh, well, in that case," he began, somewhat superciliously. "But it's
too rare to be taken into account--talent in women."
"How do you know?" Beth said. "Robbing women of the means to develop
their talents doesn't prove they haven't any. The best horseman in the
world could never have ridden if he hadn't had a horse. I certainly
think a woman should see to the ordering of her household; but if she
has it in her to do more why shouldn't she? _I_ shall want to do more,
I know. I shall want to be something; and I shall never believe that I
cannot be that something until I have tried the experiment. If you
have it in you to be a sculptor, be a sculptor. _I_ certainly should,
girl and all as I am. I couldn't help it."
"You're very valiant!" he said drily; "but you don't know what it is
to have your whole family against you."
"Don't I?" said Beth, laughing. "I've known that all my life; but I've
known something besides. I've known what it is to be myself. If you
know yourself, and yourself is a sculptor, you're bound to be a
sculptor in spite of your family."
He looked at her admiringly. "When you talk like that, I feel I could
be anything or do anything that you like, I love you so," he ventured,
flipping the grass with his stick to cover his boyish embarrassment.
"I am thinking of you always, all day long."
"Isn't it strange!" Beth answered softly. "And only two days ago we
had never met!"
"But now we shall never part," he said. "Only I don't want you to be
anything, or to care to be anything, but just my wife."
The word wife came upon Beth with the shock of a sweet surprise. She
had not realised that she would ever be asked to be any one's wife;
that seemed something reserved for the honour of beings above her,
beautiful beings in books; and the hot flush of joy that suffused her
at the word rendered her oblivious to the condition attached. She
looked up in the young man's face with eyes full of love and
gratitude, her transparent skin bright with a delicate blush, and her
lips just parted in a smile.
"You _are_ sweet, Beth!" he exclaimed. "How sweet you are!"
For the next few weeks they saw each other every day, if it were only
for a few minutes; but even when they contrived to spend long hours
together it was not enough. Beth scarcely ate or slept at that time;
the glow and spring and flood of feeling that coursed through her
whole being sustained her.
"When we are married we shall always be together," Alfred would
whisper when they had to separate; and then their eyes would dilate
with joy at the heavenly prospect; each was covered the while with
smiles and confusion neither of which they could control. They made
each other no formal vows. It was all taken for granted between them.
Now they were engaged; but when they were old enough, and had an
income, they were to be married.
Alfred had given up the idea of making Mrs. Caldwell's acquaintance
before it was absolutely necessary. For the present, it delighted them
to think that their secret was all their own, and no one suspected it,
except Dicksie, the vicar's hunchback son, whom Alfred had taken into
his confidence. Dicksie was as old as Alfred, but his deformity had
stunted his growth, and the young lovers, looking down into his
pathetic face, were filled with compassion, and eagerly anxious to
make atonement to him for his misfortune by sharing as much of their
happiness with him as might be. They encouraged him to accompany them
in their walks when he could, which was a joy to him, for he was
content to live upon the fringe of their romance unselfishly. When
they separated, Beth and Alfred kissed each other frankly, and then
Beth would stoop and kiss Dicksie also, in pure affection.
Neither of the three troubled themselves about other people in those
days, and they never suspected that their own doings could be of
consequence to anybody. They therefore remained serenely unaware of
the fact that the whole place was talking about them, their own
relations being the only people who did not know of the intimacy; and,
worse still, everybody objected to it. All the forces of Nature
combined, and the vast scheme of the universe itself had been ordered
so as to unite those two young things; but, on the other hand, the
whole machinery of civilisation was set in readiness to keep them
apart. And the first intimation they had of this fact took them by
surprise.
The whole happy summer had passed, and autumn was with them, mellow,
warm, and still. The days were shorter then, and the young people
delighted to slip out at dusk, and wander about the fields, all three
together. A gate opened from the vicarage grounds into the field-path
beside the church, and there Alfred and Dicksie waited till Beth
appeared, and often waited in vain, for Beth could not always get out.
Her mother told Lady Benyon that Beth was tiresome rather than naughty
in those days. She seemed to have no idea of time. She would stay out
so late that her mother became quite fidgety about her, not knowing
what had become of her; and when Beth came in at last in a casual way,
beaming blandly at every one, it was certainly provoking. Beth thought
her mother unreasonable to object to her late rambles. She was not
giving her any trouble; and she could not understand why her mother
was not content to let her be happy in her own way.
Beth's lessons became more perfunctory than ever that summer. Mrs.
Caldwell salved her own conscience on the subject by arguing that it
is not wise to teach a girl too much when she is growing so fast, and
Lady Benyon agreed. Lady Benyon had no patience with people who
over-educate girls--with boys it was different; but let a girl grow up
strong and healthy, and get her married as soon as possible, was what
she advised. Had any one asked what was to become of a girl brought up
for that purpose solely, if no one were found to marry her, Lady
Benyon would have disposed of the question with a shrug of the
shoulders. She laid down the principle, and if it did not act,
somebody must be to blame. The principle itself was good, she was sure
of that. So Beth was kept without intellectual discipline to curb her
senses at this critical period, and the consequence was that her
energy took the form of sensuous rather than intellectual pursuits.
Her time was devoted not to practising, but to playing; to poetry, and
to dreamy musings. She wove words to music at the piano by the hour
together, lolled about in languorous attitudes, was more painfully
concerned than ever about her personal adornment, delighted in scents
and in luxurious imaginings, and altogether fed her feelings to such
excess, that if her moral nature were not actually weakened, it was
certainly endangered.
Fortunately she had an admirable companion in Alfred. The boy is not
naturally like a beast, unable to restrain his passions, a bit more
than the girl. To men as to women the power to control themselves
comes of the determination. There are cases of natural depravity, of
course, but they are not peculiar to either sex; and as the girl may
inherit the father's vices, so may the boy have his mother to thank
for his virtues. Depravity is oftener acquired than inherited. As a
rule, the girl's surroundings safeguard her from the acquisition; but
when they do not, she becomes as bad as the boy. The boy, on the
contrary, especially if he is sent to a public school, is
systematically trained to be vicious. He learns the Latin grammar from
his masters, and from the habitual conversation of the other boys,
the books secretly circulated by them, and their traditional code of
vice, he becomes familiarised with the most hoggish habits. He may
escape the practical initiation by a miracle at the time; but it is
from the mind familiar with ideas of vice that the vicious impulse
eventually springs; and the seed of corruption once sown in it, bears
fruit almost inevitably.
Alfred had escaped this contamination by being kept at home at a
day-school, and when Beth knew him he was as refined and high-minded
as he was virile for his age, and as self-restrained as she was
impetuous. She wanted to hurry on, and shape their lives; but he was
content to let things come about. She lived in the future, he in the
present; and he was teaching her to do the same, which was an
excellent thing for her. Often when she was making plans he would
check her by saying, "Aren't you satisfied? I can't imagine myself
happier than I am at this moment."
One thing neither of them ever anticipated, and that was interference.
They expected those happy days to last without interruption until the
happier ones came, when they should be independent, and could do as
they liked.
"When I am king, diddle, diddle, you shall be queen," Alfred used to
sing to Beth; "and Dicksie shall be prime minister."
One night they were out in the fields together. Beth was sitting on a
rail, with her arm round Dicksie's neck, as he stood on one side of
her; Alfred being on the other, with his arm round her, supporting
her. They were talking about flowers. Alfred was great on growing
flowers. The vicar had given him a piece of the vicarage garden for
his own, and he was going to build a little green-house to keep Beth
well supplied with bouquets. They were deeply engrossed in the
subject, and the night was exceedingly dark, so that they did not
notice a sailor creep stealthily up the field behind them on the other
side of the hedge, and crouch down near enough to hear all that they
said. Certainly that sailor was never more at sea in his life than he
was while he listened to their innocent prattle.
When at last Beth said it was time to go home, and they strolled away
arm in arm, Alfred and Dicksie discovered that they were late, and
Beth insisted on parting from them at the field-gate into the vicarage
grounds instead of letting them see her safe into the street. When
they left her, she hurried on down the path beside the church alone,
and she had not taken many steps before she was suddenly confronted by
a tall dark man, who made as if he would not let her pass. She stopped
startled, and then went straight up to him boldly and peered into his
face.
"Is that you, Gard?" she exclaimed. "How dare you!"
"How dare you!" he rejoined impudently. "I've had my eye on you for
some time. I saw you out there just now in the field. I was determined
to know what you were up to. There's mighty little happens here that I
don't know."
"Oh," said Beth, "so you're the town spy, are you? Well, you're not
going to spy upon me, so I warn you, Mr. Gard. The next time I come
here, I'll come armed, and if I catch you dogging me about again, I'll
shoot you as dead as my father's pistols can do it. And as it is, you
shall pay for this, I promise you. Just step aside now, you cowardly
black devil, and let me pass. Do you think that it's milk I've got in
my veins that you come out on a fool's errand to frighten me?"
Without a word the man stepped aside, and Beth walked on down the path
with her head in the air, and deliberately, to let him see how little
she feared him.
The next morning, directly after breakfast, she went down to the pier.
Count Bartahlinsky's yacht was alongside, and Gard was on deck. He
changed countenance when Beth appeared. She ran down the ladder.
"I want to see your master," she said.
"He can't see you, miss. He's given orders that he's not to be
disturbed for no one whatsoever," Gard answered with excess of
deference; "and it's as much as my billet is worth to go near him;
he's very much occupied this morning."
"Don't tell lies," said Beth. "I'm going to see him."
She went forward to the skylight as she spoke, and called down, "Below
there, Count Gustav!"
"Hello!" a voice replied. "Is that you, Beth? You know you're too big
to be on the yacht now without a chaperon."
"Rot!" said Beth.
"Don't be coarse, Beth," Count Gustav remonstrated from below in
rather a precious tone. "You know how I dislike hoyden English."
"Well, then, _nonsense_! if that's any better," Beth rejoined. "You've
got to see me--this once at all events, or there'll be a tragedy."
"Oh, in that case," was the resigned reply, "I'll come on deck."
Beth walked aft and waited for him, enthroned on the bulwark, with a
coil of rope for her footstool.
When Count Gustav appeared, he looked at her quizzically. "What is the
matter, Beth?" he asked. "What are you boiling with indignation about
now?"
"About that man Gard," Beth replied. "What do you think he was doing
last night? and not for the first time, by his own account. Spying!"
"Spying!" said Bartahlinsky. "Gard, come here."
Gard, who had been anxiously watching them from amidships, approached.
"Now, Beth, what do you mean?" said the Count.
"I mean that I was out sitting on a rail in the church-fields last
night with Alfred Cayley Pounce and Dicksie Richardson talking, and
this man came and listened; and then when I left them, he met me on
the path beside the church, and spoke impudently to me, and would not
let me pass. I know what you thought," she broke out, turning upon
Gard. "You thought I was doing something that I was ashamed of, and
you'd find it out, and have me in your power. But I'll have you know
that I do nothing I'm ashamed of--nothing I should be ashamed to tell
your master about, so you may save yourself the trouble of spying upon
me, Black Gard, as they well call you."
Gard was about to say something, but Count Gustav stopped him
peremptorily. "You can go," he said. "I'll hear what you have to say
later."
Then he sat down beside Beth, and talked to her long and earnestly. He
advised her to give up her rambles with Alfred and Dicksie; but she
assured him that that was impossible.
"Who else have I?" she asked pathetically. "And what am I to do with
my days if they never come into them again?"
"You ought to have been sent to school, Beth, long ago, and I told
your mother so," Count Gustav answered, frowning. "And, by Jove, I'll
tell her again," he thought, "before it's too late."
The encounter with Gard added excitement to the charm of Beth's next
meeting with the boys. It made them all feel rather important. They
discussed it incessantly, speculating as to what the man's object
could have been. Alfred said vulgar curiosity; but Beth suspected that
there was more than that in the manoeuvre; and when Dicksie
suggested acutely that Gard had intended to blackmail them, she and
Alfred both exclaimed that that was it!
They had gone about together all this time in the most open way; now
they began to talk about caution and concealment, like the persecuted
lovers of old romance, who had powerful enemies, and were obliged to
manage their meetings so that they should not be suspected. They
decided not to speak to each other in public, and, consequently, when
they met in the street, they passed with such an elaborate parade of
ignoring each other, and yet with such evident enjoyment of the
position, that people began to wonder what on earth they were up to.
Disguises would have delighted them; but the fashions of the day did
not lend themselves much to disguise, unfortunately. There were no
masks, no sombreros, no cloaks; and all they could think of was false
whiskers for Alfred; but when he tried them, they altered him so
effectually that Dicksie said he could not bear him, and Beth would
not kiss him.
One evening after dinner, when Mrs. Caldwell was reading aloud to Beth
and Bernadine, there came a thundering knock at the front door, which
startled them all. The weather had been bad all day, and now the
shutters were closed, the rain beat against them with a chilly,
depressing effect, inexpressibly dreary. Instead of attending to the
reading, Beth had been listening to the footsteps of people passing in
the street, in the forlorn hope that among them she might distinguish
Alfred's. When the knock came they thought it was a runaway, but
Harriet opened the door all the same, and presently returned, smiling
archly, and holding aloft a beautiful bouquet.
"What's that?" said Mrs. Caldwell. "Give it to me."
Beth's heart stood still.
There was a card attached to the flowers, and Mrs. Caldwell read
aloud, "_Miss Caldwell, with respectful compliments._"
"Who brought this, Harriet?" she asked.
"No one, ma'am," Harriet replied. "It was 'itched on till the
knocker."
"Very strange," Mrs. Caldwell muttered suspiciously. "Beth, do you
know anything about it?"
"Is there no name on the card?" Beth asked diplomatically; and Mrs.
Caldwell looked at the card instead of into Beth's face, and
discovered nothing.
Raindrops sparkled on the flowers, their fragrance filled the room,
and their colours and forms and freshness were a joy to behold. "How
beautiful they are!" Mrs. Caldwell exclaimed.
"May I have them, mamma?" Beth put in quickly.
"Well, yes, I suppose you may," Mrs. Caldwell decided; "although I
must say I do not understand their being left in this way at all. Who
could have sent you flowers?"
"There's the gardener at Fairholm," Beth ventured to suggest.
"Oh, ah, yes," said Mrs. Caldwell, handing the flowers to Beth without
further demur. The gift appeared less lovely, somehow, when she began
to associate it with the gardener's respectful compliments.
Beth took the flowers, and hid her burning face with them. This was
her first bouquet, the most exquisite thing that had ever happened to
her. She carried it off to her room, and put it in water; and when she
went to bed she kept the candle burning that she might lie and look at
it.
The following week a menagerie came to the place. Alfred and Dicksie
went to it, and their description filled Beth with a wild desire to
see the creatures, especially the chimpanzee. The boys were quite
ready to take her, but how was it to be managed? The menagerie was
only to be there that one night more, but it would be open late, and
they would be allowed to go because animals are improving. Could she
get out too? Beth considered intently.
"I can go to bed early," she said at last, "and get out by the
acting-room window."
"But suppose you were missed?" Alfred deprecated.
"Then I should be found out," said Beth; "but you would not."
"How about being recognised in the menagerie, though?" said Dicksie.
"You see there'll be lots of people, and it's all lighted up."
"I can disguise myself to look like an old woman," Beth rejoined,
thinking of Aunt Victoria's auburn front and some of her old things.
"Oh no, Beth!" Alfred protested. "That would be worse than the
whiskers."
"Can't you come as a boy?" said Dicksie.
"I believe I can," Beth exclaimed. "There's an old suit of Jim's
somewhere that would be the very thing--one he grew out of. I believe
it's about my size, and I think I know where it is. What a splendid
idea, Dicksie! I can cut my hair off."
"Oh no! Your pretty hair!" Alfred exclaimed.
"Is it pretty?" said Beth, surprised and pleased.
"_Is_ it pretty!" he ejaculated, lifting it with both hands, and
bathing his face in it; "the brightest, brownest, curliest, softest,
sweetest hair on earth! Turn it up under your cap. These little curls
on your neck will look like short hair."
They were all so delighted with this romantic plan, that they danced
about, and hugged each other promiscuously. But this last piece of
cleverness was their undoing, for Beth was promptly recognised at the
menagerie by some one with a sense of humour, who told Lady Benyon,
who told Mrs. Caldwell.
Mrs. Caldwell came hurrying home from Lady Benyon's a few nights later
with the queerest expression of countenance Beth had ever seen; it was
something between laughing and crying.
"Beth," she began in an agitated manner, "I am told that you went with
two of Mr. Richardson's sons to the menagerie on Tuesday night,
dressed as a boy."
"_One_ of his sons," said Beth, correcting her; "the other boy was his
pupil."
"And you were walking about looking at the animals in that public
place with your arm round the girl from the shoe-shop?"
Beth burst out laughing. "All the boys had their arms round girls,"
she explained. "I couldn't be singular."
Mrs. Caldwell dropped into a chair, and sat gazing at Beth as if she
had never seen anything like her before, as indeed she never had.
"Who is this pupil of Mr. Richardson's?" she asked at last, "and how
did you make his acquaintance?"
"His name is Alfred Cayley Pounce," Beth answered. "We were caught by
the tide and nearly drowned together on the sands, and I've known him
ever since."
"And do you mean to say that you have been meeting this young man in a
clandestine manner--that you hadn't the proper pride to refuse to
associate with him unless he were known to your family and you could
meet him as an equal?"
"He did wish to make your acquaintance, but I wouldn't let him," Beth
said.
"Why?" Mrs. Caldwell asked in amazement.
"Oh, because I was afraid you would be horrid to him," Beth answered.
Mrs. Caldwell was thunderstruck. The whole affair had overwhelmed her
as a calamity which could not be met by any ordinary means. Scolding
was out of the question, for she was not able to utter another word,
but just sat there with such a miserable face, she might have been the
culprit herself, especially as she ended by bursting into tears.
Beth's heart smote her, and she watched her mother for some time,
yearning to say something to comfort her.
"I don't think you need be so distressed, mamma," she ventured at last
"What have I done, after all? I've committed no crime."
"You've done just about as bad a thing as you could do," Mrs. Caldwell
rejoined. "You've made the whole place talk about you. You must have
known you were doing wrong. But I think you can have no conscience at
all."
"I think I have a conscience, only it doesn't always act," Beth
answered disconsolately. "Very often, when I am doing a wrong thing,
it doesn't accuse me; when it does, I stop and repent."
She was sitting beside the dining-table, balancing a pencil on her
finger as she spoke.
"Look at you now, Beth," her mother ejaculated, "utterly callous!"
Beth sighed, and put the pencil down. She despaired of ever making her
mother understand anything, and determined not to try again.
"Beth, I don't know what to do with you," Mrs. Caldwell recommenced
after a long silence. "I've been warned again and again that I should
have trouble with you, and Heaven knows I have. You've done a
monstrous thing, and, instead of being terrified when you're found
out, you sit there coolly discussing it, as if you were a grown-up
person. And then you're so queer. You ought to be a child, but you're
not. Lady Benyon likes you; but even she says you're not a child, and
never were. You say things no sane child would ever think of, and very
few grown-up people. You are _not_ like other people, there's no
denying it."
Beth's eyes filled with tears. To be thought unlike other people was
the one thing that made her quail.
"Well, mamma, what am I to do?" she said. "I hate to vex you, goodness
knows; but I must be doing something. The days are long and dreary."
She wiped her eyes. "When people warned you that you would have
trouble with me, they always said unless you sent me to school."
Mrs. Caldwell rocked herself on her chair forlornly. "School would do
you no good," she declared at last. "No, Beth, you are my cross, and I
must bear it. If I forgive you again this time, will you be a better
girl in future?"
"I don't believe it's my fault that I ever annoy you," Beth answered
drily.
"Whose fault is it, then?" her mother demanded.
Beth shrugged her shoulders and began to balance the pencil on her
fingers once more.
Mrs. Caldwell got up and stood looking at her for a little with a
gathering expression of dislike on her face which it was not good to
see; then she went towards the door.
"You are incorrigible," she ejaculated as she opened it, making the
remark to cover her retreat.
Beth sighed heavily, then resolved herself into a Christian martyr,
cruelly misjudged--an idea which she pursued with much satisfaction to
herself for the rest of the day.
In consequence of that conversation with her mother, when the evening
came her conscience accused her, and she made no attempt to go out.
She was to meet Alfred and Dicksie on Saturday, their next
half-holiday, and she would wait till then. That was Wednesday.
During the interval, however, a strange chill came over her feelings.
The thought of Alfred was as incessant as ever, but it came without
the glow of delight; something was wrong.
They were to meet on the rocks behind the far pier at low water on
Saturday. Few people came to the far pier, and, when they did, it was
seldom that they looked over; and they could not have seen much if
they had, for the rocks were brown with seaweed, and dark figures
wandering about on them became indistinguishable. Beth went long
before the time. It was a beautiful still grey day, such as she loved,
and she longed to be alone with the sea. The tide was going out, and
she had a fancy for following it from rock to rock as it went. Some
of the bigger rocks were flat-topped islands, separated from the last
halting-place of the tide by narrow straits, across which she sprang;
and on these she would lie her length, peering down into the clear
depths on the farther side, where the healthy happy sea-creatures
disported themselves, and seaweeds of wondrous colours waved in
fantastic forms. The water lapped up and up and up the rocks, rising
with a sobbing sound, and bringing fresh airs with it that fanned her
face, and caused her to draw in her breath involuntarily, and inhale
long deep draughts with delight. As the water went out, bright runnels
were left where rivers had been, and miniature bays became sheltered
coves, paved with polished pebbles or purple mussels, and every little
sandy space was ribbed with solid waves where the busy lob-worms soon
began to send up their ropy castings. Beyond the break of the water
the silver sea sloped up to the horizon, and on it, rocking gently,
far out, a few cobles were scattered, with rich red sails all set
ready, waiting for a breeze. It was an exquisite scene, remote from
all wail of human feeling, and strangely tranquillising. Gradually it
gained upon Beth. Her bosom heaved with the heaving water
rhythmically, and she lost herself in contemplation of sea and sky
scape. Before she had been many minutes prone upon the farthest rock,
the vision and the dream were upon her. That other self of hers
unfurled its wings, and she floated off, revelling in an ecstasy of
gentle motion. Beyond the sea-line were palaces with terraced gardens,
white palaces against which grass and trees showed glossy green; and
there she wandered among the flowers, and waited. She was waiting for
something that did not happen, for some one who did not come.
Suddenly she sat up on her rock. The sun was sinking behind her, the
silver sea shone iridescent, the tide had turned. But where were the
boys? She looked about her. Out on the sands beyond the rocks on her
right, a man was wading in the water with a net, shrimping. Close at
hand another was gathering mussels for bait, and a gentleman was
walking towards her over the slippery rocks, balancing himself as
though he found it difficult to keep his feet; but these were the only
people in sight. The gentleman was a stranger. He wore a dark-blue
suit, with a shirt of wonderful whiteness, and Beth could not help
noticing how altogether well-dressed he was--too well-dressed for
climbing on the rocks. She noticed his dress particularly, because
well-dressed men were rare in Rainharbour. He was tall, with glossy
black hair inclining to curl, slight whiskers and moustache, blue
eyes, and a bright complexion. A woman with as much colour would have
been accused of painting; in him it gave to some people the idea of
superabundant health, to others it suggested a phthisical tendency.
Beth looked at him as he approached as she looked at everybody and
everything with interest--nothing escaped her; but he made no great
impression upon her. She thought of him principally as a man with a
watch; and when he was near enough she asked him what time it was. He
told her, looking hard at her, and smiling pleasantly as he returned
his watch to his pocket. She noticed that his teeth were good, but too
far apart, a defect which struck her as unpleasant.
"Why, it is quite late!" she exclaimed, forgetting to thank him in her
surprise.
"Are you all alone here?" he asked.
"I was waiting for some friends," she answered, "but they have not
come. They must have been detained."
She began to walk back as she spoke, and the gentleman turned too
perforce, for the tide was close upon them.
"Let me help you," he said, holding out his hand, which was noticeably
white and well-shaped; "the rocks are rough and slippery."
"I can manage, thank you," Beth answered. "I am accustomed to them."
Beth involuntarily resolved herself into a young lady the moment she
addressed this man, and spoke now with the self-possession of one
accustomed to courtesies. Even at that age her soft cultivated voice
and easy assurance of manner, and above all her laugh, which was not
the silvery laugh of fiction, but the soundless laugh of good society,
marked the class to which she belonged; and as he stumbled along
beside her, her new acquaintance wondered how it happened that she was
at once so well-bred and so shabbily dressed. He began to question her
guardedly.
"Do you know Rainharbour well?" he asked.
"I live here," Beth answered.
"Then I suppose you know every one in the place," he pursued.
"Oh, no," she rejoined. "I know very few people, except my own, of
course."
"Which is considered the principal family here?" he asked.
"The Benyon family is the biggest and the wickedest, I should think,"
she answered casually.
"But I meant the most important," he explained, smiling.
"I don't know," she said. "Uncle James Patten thinks that next to
himself the Benyons are. He married one of them. He's an awful snob."
"And what is his position?"
"I don't know--he's a landowner; that's his estate over there," and
she nodded towards Fairholm.
"Indeed! How far does it extend?"
"From the sea right up to the hills there, and a little way beyond."
They had left the rocks by this time, and were toiling up the steep
road into the town. When they reached the top, Beth exclaimed
abruptly, "I am late! I must fly!" and leaving her companion without
further ceremony, turned down a side street and ran home.
When she got in, she wondered what had become of Alfred and Dicksie,
and she was conscious of a curious sort of suspense, which, however,
did not amount to anxiety. It was as if she were waiting and listening
for something she expected to hear, which would explain in words what
she held already inarticulate in some secret recess of her being--held
in suspense and felt, but had not yet apprehended in the region of
thought. There are people who collect and hold in themselves some
knowledge of contemporary events as the air collects and holds
moisture; it may be that we all do, but only one here and there
becomes aware of the fact. As the impalpable moisture in the air
changes to palpable rain so does this vague cognisance become a
comprehensible revelation by being resolved into a shower of words on
occasion by some process psychically analogous to the condensation of
moisture in the air. It is a natural phenomenon known to babes like
Beth, but ill-observed, and not at all explained, because man has gone
such a little way beyond the bogey of the supernatural in psychical
matters that he is still befogged, and makes up opinions on the
subject like a divine when miracles are in question, instead of
searching for information like an honest philosopher, whose glory it
is, not to prove himself right, but to discover the truth.
Beth did not sleep much that night. She recalled the sigh and sob and
freshness of the sea, and caught her breath again as if the cool water
were still washing up and up and up towards her. She saw the silver
surface, too, stretching on to those shining palaces, where grass and
tree showed vivid green against white walls, and flowers stood still
on airless terraces, shedding strange perfumes. And she also saw her
new acquaintance coming towards her, balancing himself on the
slippery, wrack-grown rocks, in boots and things that were much too
good for the purpose; but Alfred and Dicksie never appeared, and were
not to be found of her imagination. They were nowhere.
She expected to see them in church next day--at least, so she assured
herself, and then was surprised to find that there was no sort of
certainty in herself behind the assurance, although they had always
hitherto been in church. "Something is different, somehow," she
thought, and the phrase became a kind of accompaniment to all her
thoughts.
Dicksie was the first person she saw when she entered the church, but
Alfred was not there, and he did not come. She went up the field-path
after the service, and waited about for Dicksie. When Alfred was
detained himself, Dicksie usually came to explain; but that day he did
not appear, and they were neither of them at the evening service. Beth
could not understand it, but she was more puzzled than perturbed.
She was reading French to her mother next morning by way of a lesson,
when they both happened to look up and see Mrs. Richardson, the
vicar's worn-out wife, passing the window. The next moment there was a
knock at the door.
"Can she be coming here?" Mrs. Caldwell exclaimed.
"What should she come here for?" Beth rejoined, her heart palpitating.
"Oh dear, oh dear! this is just what I expected!" Mrs. Caldwell
declared. "And if only she had come last week, I should have known
nothing about it."
"You don't know much as it is," Beth observed, without, however,
seeing why that should make any difference.
The next moment the vicar's wife was ushered in with a wink by
Harriet. Mrs. Caldwell and Beth both rose to receive her haughtily.
She had entered with assurance, but that left her the moment she faced
them, and she became exceedingly nervous. She was surprised at the
ease and grace of these shabbily-dressed ladies, and the refinement of
their surroundings--the design of the furniture, the colour of
curtains and carpet, the china, the books, the pictures, all of which
bespoke tastes and habits not common in the parish.
"I must apologise for this intrusion," she began nervously. "I have a
most unpleasant task to perform. My husband requested me to come----"
"Why didn't he come himself?" Beth asked blandly. "Why does he make
you do the disagreeable part of his duties?"
The vicar's wife raised her meek eyes and gazed at Beth. She had not
anticipated this sort of reception from poor parishioners, and was
completely nonplussed. She was startled, too, by Beth's last question,
for she belonged to the days of brave unhonoured endurance, when
women, meekly allowing themselves to be classed with children and
idiots, exacted no respect, and received none--no woman, decent or
otherwise, being safe from insult in the public streets; when they
were expected to do difficult and dirty work for their husbands, such
as canvassing at elections, without acknowledgment, their wit and
capacity being traded upon without scruple to obtain from men the
votes which they were not deemed wise and worthy enough to have
themselves; the days when they gave all and received nothing in
return, save doles of bread and contempt, varied by such caresses as a
good dog gets when his master is in the mood. That was the day before
woman began to question the wisdom and goodness of man, his justice
and generosity, his right to make a virtue of wallowing when he chose
to wallow, and his disinterestedness and discretion when he also
arrogated to himself the power to order all things. Mrs. Richardson
had no more thought of questioning the beauty of her husband's
decisions than she had thought of questioning the logic and mercy of
her God, and this first flash of the new spirit of inquiry from Beth's
bright wit came upon her with a shock at first--one of those shocks to
the mind which is as the strength of wine to the exhausted body, that
checks the breath a moment, then rouses and stimulates.
"May I sit down?" she gasped, then dropped into a chair. "He might
have come himself, to be sure," she muttered. "I have more than enough
to do that is disagreeable in my own womanly sphere without being
required to meddle in parish matters."
Yet when her husband had said to her: "It is a very disagreeable
business indeed this. I think I'll get you to go. You'll manage it
with so much more tact than a man," the poor lady, unaccustomed to
compliments, was gratified. Now, however, thanks to Beth, she had been
nearer to making an acute observation than she had ever been in her
life before; she all but perceived that the woman's sphere is never
home exclusively when man can make use of her for his own purposes
elsewhere. The sphere is the stable he ties her up in when he does not
want her, and takes her from again to drag him out of a difficulty, or
up to some distinction, just as it suits himself.
Mrs. Caldwell and Beth waited for Mrs. Richardson to commit herself,
but gave her no further help.
"The truth is," she recommenced desperately, "we have lost an
excellent pupil. His people have been informed that he was carrying on
an intrigue with a girl in this place, and have taken him away at a
moment's notice."
"And what has that to do with us?" Mrs. Caldwell asked politely.
"The girl is said to be your daughter."
"This is my eldest daughter at home," Mrs. Caldwell answered. "She is
not yet fourteen."
"But she's a very big girl," Mrs. Richardson faltered.
"Who is this person, this pupil you allude to?" Mrs. Caldwell asked
superciliously.
"He is the son of wealthy Nottingham people."
"Ah! lace manufacturers, I suppose," Mrs. Caldwell rejoined.
"Yes--s," Mrs. Richardson acknowledged with reluctance. She
associated, as she was expected to do, with gentlemen who debauched
themselves freely, but would have scorned the acquaintance of a
shopman of saintly life.
"Then certainly not a proper acquaintance for my daughter," Mrs.
Caldwell decided, with the manner of a county lady speaking to a
person whom she knows to be nobody by birth. "Beth, will you be good
enough to tell us what you know of this youth?"
"I was caught by the tide on the sands one day, and he was there, and
helped me; and I always spoke to him afterwards. I thought I ought,
for politeness' sake," Beth answered easily.
"May I ask how that strikes you?" Mrs. Caldwell, turning to Mrs.
Richardson, requested to know, but did not wait for a reply. "It
strikes me," she proceeded, "that your husband's parish must be in an
appalling state of neglect and disorder when slander is so rife that
he loses a good pupil because an act of common politeness, a service
rendered by a youth on the one hand, and acknowledged by a young lady
on the other, is described as an intrigue. But I still fail to see,"
she pursued haughtily, "why you should have come to spread this
scandal here in my house."
"Oh," the little woman faltered, "I was to ask if there had been
any--any presents. But," she added hastily, to save herself from the
wrath which she saw gathering on Mrs. Caldwell's face, "I am sure
there were not. I'm sure you would never bring a breach of promise
case--I'm sure it has all been a dreadful mistake. If Mr. Richardson
wants anything of this kind done in future, he must do it himself. I
apologise."
She uttered the last word with a gasp.
"Let me show you out," said Beth, and the discomforted lady found
herself ushered into the street without further ceremony.
When Beth returned she found her mother smiling blandly at the result
of her diplomacy. It was probably the first effort of the kind the
poor lady had ever made, and she was so elated by her success that she
took Beth into her confidence, and forgave her outright in order to
hob-nob with her on the subject.
"I think I fenced with her pretty well," she said several times. "A
woman of her class, a country attorney's daughter or something of that
kind, is no match for a woman of mine. I hope, Beth, this will be a
lesson to you, and will teach you to appreciate the superior tact and
discretion of the upper classes."
Beth could not find it in her heart to say a word to check her
mother's jubilation; besides, she had played up to her, answering to
expectation, as she was apt to do, with fatal versatility. But she did
not feel that they had come out of the business well. It was as if
their honesty had been bedraggled somehow, and she could not respect
her mother for her triumph; on the contrary, she pitied her. That kind
of diplomacy or tact, the means by which people who have had every
advantage impose upon those who have had no advantages to speak of,
did not appeal to Beth as pleasant, even at fourteen.
Mrs. Caldwell put her work away at once, and hurried off to describe
the encounter to Lady Benyon.
"They had not heard of the menagerie affair, I suppose," the old lady
observed, twinkling. "Thanks to yourself, I think you may consider
Miss Beth is well out of _that_ scrape. But take my advice. Get that
girl married the first chance you have. _I_ know girls, and she's one
of the marrying kind. Once she's married, let her mutiny or do
anything she likes. _You'll_ be shut of the responsibility."