The dower-house of the Benyon family stood in a street which was
merely an extension of Orchard Street, and could be seen from Mrs.
Caldwell's windows. Lady Benyon, having produced a huge family, and
buried her husband, had done her day's work in the world, as it were,
and now had full leisure to live as she liked; so she "lived well";
and in the intervals of living, otherwise eating, she sat in the big
bow-window of her sitting-room, digesting, and watching her
neighbours. From her large old-fashioned house she commanded a fine
view down the wide irregular front street to the sea, with a diagonal
glimpse down two other streets which ran parallel with the front
street; while on the left she could see up Orchard Street as far as
the church; so that everybody came under her observation sooner or
later, and, to Beth, it always seemed that she dominated the whole
place. Most of the day her head could be seen above the wire-blind;
but, as she seldom went out, her acute old face and the four dark
sausage-shaped curls, laid horizontally on either side of it, were
almost all of her that was known to the inhabitants.
Mrs. Caldwell went regularly to see Lady Benyon, and sometimes took
the children with her. On one occasion when she had done so, Lady
Benyon made her take a seat in the window where she was sitting
herself, so that they could both look out. Beth and Bernadine sat in
the background with a picture-book, in which they seemed so absorbed
that the conversation flowed on before them with very little
constraint. Beth's ears were open, however, as usual.
"After twenty-two children," Lady Benyon remarked, "one cannot expect
to be as active as one was."
"No, indeed," Mrs. Caldwell answered cheerfully. "_I_ have only had as
good as fourteen, and I'm quite a wreck. I don't know what it is to
pass a day free from pain. But, however, it is so ordered, and I don't
complain. If only they turn out well when they do come, that's
everything."
"Ah, you're right there," Lady Benyon answered.
"You know _my_ trial," Mrs. Caldwell pursued--Beth's face instantly
became a blank. "I am afraid she cares for no one but herself. It
shows what spoiling a child does. Her father could never make enough
of her."
"Well, I suppose she's naughty," Lady Benyon rejoined with a laugh;
"but she's promising all the same--and not only in appearance. The
things she says, you know!"
"Oh, well, yes," Mrs. Caldwell allowed. "She certainly says things
sometimes, but that's not much comfort when you never know what she'll
be doing. Now Mildred has never given me a moment's anxiety in her
life, except on account of her delicate health, poor little body; and
Bernadine is a dear, sweet little thing. _She_ is the only one who is
thoroughly unruly and selfish."
Beth's blood boiled at the accusation.
"How does the old aunt get on?" Lady Benyon asked presently.
"Oh, she seems to be very well."
"Don't you find it rather a trial to have her about always?"
Mrs. Caldwell shrugged her shoulders with an air of resignation. "Oh,
you know, she means well," she replied, "and there really was nothing
else for it. But I must say I have no patience with cant."
Beth, in opposition, still smarting from her mother's accusation of
selfishness, determined at once to inquire into Aunt Victoria's
religious tenets, with a view to approving of them.
"Well, James Patten played a mean part in that business," Lady Benyon
observed. "But I always say, beware of a man who does his own
housekeeping. When they keep the money in their own hands, and pay the
bills themselves, don't trust them. That sort of man is a cur at
heart, you may be sure. And as for a man who takes possession of his
wife's money, and doles it out to her a little at a time--! I know one
such--without a penny of his own, mind you! He gives his wife a cheque
for five pounds a month; the rest goes on other women, and she never
suspects it! He's one of those plausible gentlemen who's always
looking for a post that will pay him, and never gets it--you know the
kind of thing." Here the old lady caught Beth's eye. "You take my
advice," she said. "Don't ever marry a man who does his own
housekeeping. He's a crowing hen, that sort of man, you may be sure. I
warn you against the man who does a woman's work."
"And if a woman does a man's work?" said the intelligent Beth.
"It is often a very great help," Mrs. Caldwell put in, with a quick
mental survey of the reams of official letters she had written for her
husband.
Lady Benyon pursed up her mouth.
* * * * *
Aunt Victoria was one of those forlorn old ladies who have nobody
actually their own to care for them, although they may have numbers of
relations, and acquire odd habits from living much alone. She was a
great source of interest to Beth, who would sit silently watching her
by the hour together, her bright eyes steady and her countenance a
blank. The intentness of her gaze fidgeted the old lady, who would
look up suddenly every now and then and ask her what she was staring
at. "Nothing, Aunt Victoria; I was only thinking," Beth always
answered; and then she affected to occupy herself until the old lady
returned to her work or her book, when Beth would resume her
interrupted study. But she liked Aunt Victoria. The old lady was sharp
with her sometimes, but she meant to be kind, and was always just; and
Beth respected her. She had more faith in her, too, than she had in
her mother, and secretly became her partisan on all occasions. She had
instantly detected the tone of detraction in the allusions Lady Benyon
and her mother had made to Aunt Victoria that afternoon, and stolidly
resented it.
When they went home, she ran upstairs and knocked at Aunt Victoria's
door. It was immediately opened, and Beth, seeing what she took for an
old gentleman in a short black petticoat and loose red jacket, with
short, thick, stubbly white hair standing up all over his head,
started back. But it was only Aunt Victoria without her cap and front.
When she saw Beth's consternation, the old lady put her hand up to her
head. "I had forgotten," she muttered; then she added severely, "But
you should never show surprise, Beth, at anything in anybody's
appearance. It is very ill-bred."
"I don't think I shall ever be surprised again," Beth answered
quaintly. "But I want you to tell me, Aunt Victoria. What do you
believe in?"
"What do you mean, child?"
"Oh, you know, about God, and the Bible, and cant, and that sort of
thing," Beth answered evenly.
"Come in and sit down," said Aunt Victoria.
Beth sat on a classical piece of furniture that stood in the window, a
sort of stool or throne, with ends like a sofa and no back. It had
belonged to Aunt Victoria's father, and she valued it very much.
Beth's feet, as she sat on it, did not touch the ground. Aunt Victoria
stood for a moment in the middle of the room reflecting, and, as she
did so, she looked, with her short, thick, stubbly white hair, more
like a thin old gentleman in a black petticoat and loose red jacket
than ever.
"I believe, Beth," she said solemnly, "I believe in God the Father
Almighty. I believe that if we do His holy will here on earth, we
shall, when we die, be received by Him into bliss everlasting; but if
we do not do His holy will, then He will condemn us to the bad place,
where we shall burn for ever."
"But what _is_ His holy will?" Beth asked.
"It is His holy will that we should do right, and that we should not
do wrong. But this is a big subject, Beth, and I can only unfold it to
you bit by bit."
"But will you unfold it?"
"I will, as best I can, if you will listen earnestly."
"I am always in earnest," Beth answered sincerely.
"No one can teach you God," Aunt Victoria pursued. "He must come to
you. '_Light is sown for the righteous, and gladness for the upright
of heart. The heavens declare the glory of God, and the firmament
showeth His handiwork. Day unto day uttereth speech, and night unto
night showeth knowledge. There is no speech nor language where their
voice is not heard. Lift up your heads, O ye gates; and be ye lifted
up, ye everlasting doors; and the King of glory shall come in. Who is
the King of glory? The Lord strong and mighty._'"
Beth, in a burst of enthusiasm, jumped down from her perch, clasped
her hands to her chest, and cried--"O Aunt Victoria! that is--that
is"--she tore at her hair--"I want a word--I want a word!"
"It is _grand_, Beth!"
"Grand! grand!" Beth shouted. "Yes, it is grand."
"Beth," said Aunt Victoria emphatically, "remember that you are a
Christian child, and not a dancing-dervish. If you do not instantly
calm yourself, I shall shake you. And if I ever see you give way to
such wild excitement again, I _shall_ shake you, for your own good.
Calm is one of the first attributes of a gentlewoman."
Teachers of religion do not always practise what they preach. Up to
this moment, although Beth had done her best to teach Emily, she had
had no idea of being religious herself; but now, on a sudden, there
came upon her that great yearning tenderness towards God, and desire
for goodness, which some sects call conversion, and hold to be the
essential beginning of a religious life. This was the opportunity Aunt
Victoria had prayed for, and from that time forward she began to
instruct Beth systematically in religious matters. The subject
fascinated Beth, and she would make opportunities to be alone with her
aunt, and go to her room willingly whenever she asked her, for the
pleasure of hearing her. Aunt Victoria often moved about the room, and
dressed as she talked, and Beth, while listening, did not fail to
observe the difficulty of keeping stockings up on skinny legs when you
wore woollen garters below the knee; and also that it looked funny to
have to tuck up your dress to get your purse out of a pocket in your
petticoat at the back. But when Aunt Victoria sat down and read the
Bible aloud, Beth became absorbed, and would even read whole chapters
again to herself in order to remember how to declaim the more poetical
passages as Aunt Victoria did--all of which she relished with the
keenest enthusiasm. Unfortunately for Beth, however, Aunt Victoria was
strongly Calvinistic, and dwelt too much on death and the judgment for
her mental health. The old lady, deeply as she sympathised with Beth,
and loved her, did not realise how morbidly sensitive she was; and
accordingly worked on her feelings until the fear of God got hold of
her. Just at this time, too, Mrs. Caldwell chose "The Pilgrim's
Progress" for a "Sunday book," and read it aloud to the children; and
this, together with Aunt Victoria's views, operated only too actively
on the child's vivid imagination. A great dread seized upon her--not
on her own account, strange to say; she never thought of herself, but
of her friends, and of the world at large. She was in mortal dread
lest they should be called to judgment and consigned to the flames.
While the sun was out such thoughts did not trouble her; but as the
day declined, and twilight sombrely succeeded the sunset, her heart
sank, and her little being was racked with one great petition, offered
up to the Lord in anguish, that He would spare them all.
The season was beginning, the little place was already full of
visitors, and Beth used to stand at the dining-room window while Mrs.
Caldwell was reading aloud on Sunday evenings, and watch the
congregation stream out of the church at the end of the road, and
suffer agonies because of the torments that awaited them all,
including her mother, brothers and sisters, Harriet in the kitchen,
and Mrs. Davy at Orchard House opposite--everybody, indeed, except
Aunt Victoria--in a future state. Out on the cliffs in the summer
evenings, when great dark masses of cloud tinged with crimson were
piled to the zenith at sundown, and coldly reflected in the dark
waters of the bay, she saw the destination of the world; she heard
cries of torment, too, in the plash of breaking waves and the
unceasing roar of the sea; and as she watched the visitors lounging
about in bright dresses, laughing and talking, careless of their doom,
she could hardly restrain her tears. Night after night when she went
to bed, she put her head under the clothes that Bernadine might not
hear, and her chest was torn with sobs until she fell asleep.
At that time she devised no more tricks, she took no interest in
games, and would not fight even. Bernadine did not know what to make
of her. All day she was recovering from the lassitude caused by the
mental anguish of the previous evening, but regularly at sunset it
began again; and the more she suffered, the less able was she to speak
on the subject. At first she had tried to discuss eternal punishment
with Harriet, Bernadine, and Aunt Victoria, and each had responded
characteristically. Harriet's imagination dwelt on the particular
torments reserved for certain people she knew, which she described
graphically. Bernadine listened to Beth's remarks with interest, then
accused Beth of trying to frighten her, and said she would tell mamma.
Aunt Victoria discoursed earnestly on the wages of sin, the sufferings
of sinners, the glories of salvation, the peace on earth from knowing
you are saved, and the pleasures of the world to come; but the more
Beth heard of the joys of heaven, the more she dreaded the horrors of
hell. Still, however, she was too shy to say anything about her own
acute mental misery, and no one suspected that anything was wrong,
until one day something dejected in the child's attitude happened to
catch Aunt Victoria's attention.
Beth was sitting on an African stool, her elbow on her knee, her chin
resting on her little hand, her grey eyes looking up through the
window at the summer sky. What could the child be thinking of, Aunt
Victoria wondered, and surely she was looking thin and pale--quite
haggard.
"Why don't you get something to do, Beth?" the old lady asked. "It's
bad for little girls to idle about all day."
"I wish I had something to do," Beth answered. "I'm so tired."
"Does your head ache, child?" Aunt Victoria asked, speaking sharply
because her mind was disturbed.
"No."
"You should answer politely, and say 'No, thank you.'"
"No, thank you, Aunt Victoria," was the docile rejoinder.
Aunt Victoria resolved to speak to Mrs. Caldwell, and resumed her
knitting. She was one of those people who can keep what they have to
say till a suitable occasion offers. Her mind was never so full of any
one subject as to overflow and make a mess of it. She would wait a
week watching her opportunity if necessary; and she did not,
therefore, although she saw Mrs. Caldwell frequently during the day,
speak to her about Beth until the children had gone to bed in the
evening, when she was sure of her effect.
Then she began abruptly.
"Caroline, that child Beth is ill."
Mrs. Caldwell was startled. It was very inconsiderate of Aunt
Victoria. She knew she was nervous about her children; how could she
be so unfeeling? What made her think Beth ill?
"Look at her!" said Aunt Victoria. "She eats nothing. She has wasted
to a skeleton, she has no blood in her face at all, and her eyes look
as if she never slept."
"I am sure she sleeps well enough," Mrs. Caldwell answered, inclined
to bridle.
"I feel quite sure, Caroline," Aunt Victoria said solemnly, "that if
you take a candle, and go upstairs this minute, you will find that
child wide awake."
Mrs. Caldwell felt that she was being found fault with, and was
indignant. She went upstairs at once, with her head held high,
expecting to find Beth in a healthy sleep. The relief, however, of
finding that the child was well, would not have been so great at the
moment as the satisfaction of proving Aunt Victoria in the wrong.
But Beth was wide awake, petitioning God in an agony to spare her
friends. When Mrs. Caldwell entered she started up.
"O mamma!" she exclaimed, "I'm so glad you've come; I've been so
frightened about you."
"What is the matter with you, Beth?" Mrs. Caldwell asked, not
over-gently. "What are you frightened about?"
"Nothing," Beth faltered, shrinking back into herself.
"Oh, that's nonsense," her mother answered. "It's silly to be
frightened at nothing, and cowardly to be frightened at all. Lie down
and go to sleep, like a good child. Come, turn your face to the wall,
and I'll tuck you in."
Beth obeyed, and her mother left her to her fears, and returned to
Aunt Victoria in the drawing-room.
"Well?" Aunt Victoria asked anxiously.
"She was awake," Mrs. Caldwell acknowledged. "She said she was
frightened, but didn't know what of. I expect she'd been dreaming. And
I'm sure there is nothing the matter with her. She's been subject to
queer fits of alarm at night ever since she was a baby. It's the dark,
I think. It makes her nervous. At one time the doctor made us have a
night-light for her, which was great nonsense, _I_ always said; but
her father insisted. When it suits her to play in the dark, she's
never afraid."
It was at this time that Rainharbour set up a band of its own. Beth
was always peculiarly susceptible to music. Her ear was defective; she
rarely knew if any one sang flat; but the poorest instrument would lay
hold of her, and set high chords of emotion vibrating, beyond the
reach of words. The first time she heard the band, she was completely
carried away. It was on the pier, and she happened to be close beside
it when it began to play, and stood still in astonishment at the crash
of the opening bars. Her mother, after vainly calling to her to come
on, snatched impatiently at her arm to drag her away; and Beth, in her
excitement, set her teeth and slapped at her mother's hand--or rather
at what seemed to her the importunate thing that was trying to end her
ecstasy.
Of course Mrs. Caldwell would not stand that, so Beth, victim of brute
force, was hustled off to the end of the pier, and then slapped,
shaken, and reviled, for the enormity of her offence, until, in an
acute nervous crisis, she wrenched herself out of her mother's
clutches, and sprang over into the harbour. It was high-water happily,
and Count Gustav Bartahlinsky, who was just going out in his yacht,
saw her drop, and fished her out with a boat-hook.
"Look here, young woman," he said, "what do you mean by tumbling about
like this? I shall have the trouble of turning back and putting you on
shore."
"No, don't; no, don't," Beth pleaded. "Take me along with you."
He looked at her an instant, considering, then went to the side of the
yacht, and called up to her frantic mother: "She's all right. I'll
have her dried, and bring her back this afternoon,"--with which
assurance Mrs. Caldwell was obliged to content herself, for the yacht
sailed on; not that she would have objected. Beth and Count Gustav
were sworn allies by this time, and Mrs. Caldwell knew that Beth could
not be in better hands. Beth had seen Count Gustav passing their
window a few days after their first meeting, and had completed her
conquest of him by tearing out, and running down Orchard Street after
him with nothing on her head, to ask what copyright was; and since
then they had often met, and sometimes spent delightful hours
together, sitting on the cliffs or strolling along by the sea. He had
discovered her talent for verse-making, and given her a book on the
subject, full of examples, which was a great joy to her. When the
yacht was clear of the harbour, he took her down to the saloon, and
got out a silk shirt. "I'm going to leave you," he said, "and when I'm
gone, you must take off all your things, and put this shirt on. Then
tumble into that berth between the blankets, and I'll come back and
talk to you." Beth promptly obeyed. She was an ill-used heroine now,
in the hands of her knightly deliverer, and thoroughly happy.
When Count Gustav returned, he was followed by Gard, a tall, dark,
handsome sailor, a descendant of black Dane settlers on the coast, and
for that reason commonly called Black Gard. He brought sandwiches,
cakes, and hot tea on a tray for Beth. She had propped herself up with
pillows in the berth, and was looking out of an open port-hole
opposite, listening enraptured to the strains of the band, which,
mellowed by distance, floated out over the water.
"What a radiant little face!" the Count thought, as he handed her the
tea and sandwiches.
Beth took them voraciously.
"Did you have any breakfast?" the Count asked, smiling.
"Yes," Beth answered.
"What did you have?"
"Milk and hot water and dry toast. I made the toast myself."
"No butter?"
"No. The butter's running short, so I wouldn't take any."
"When do you lunch?"
"Oh, we don't lunch. Can't afford it, you know. The boys have got to
be educated, and Uncle James Patten won't help, though Jim's his
heir."
Count Gustav looked at her little delicate hand lying on the coverlet,
and then at the worn little face.
"You've been crying," he said.
"Ah, that was only last night after I went to bed," Beth answered. "It
makes you cry when people aren't saved, doesn't it? Are you saved? If
you're not it will be awful for me."
"Why?"
"'Cos it would hurt so here to think of you burning in hell"--Beth
clasped her chest. "It always begins to ache here--in the evening--for
the people who aren't saved, and when I go to bed it makes me cry."
"Who told you about being saved, and that?"
"Aunt Victoria. She lives with us, you know. She's going away now to
pay a visit, because the boys are coming home, and Mildred, for the
holidays, and there wouldn't be room for her. I'm dreadfully sorry;
but I shall go to church, and read the Bible just the same when she's
away."
Count Gustav sat down on the end of the saloon-table and reflected a
little; then he said--"I wouldn't read anything, if I were you, while
Aunt Victoria's away. Just play about with Mildred and the boys, and
come out fishing with me sometimes. God doesn't want _you_ to save
people. He does that Himself. I expect He's very angry because you cry
at night. He thinks you don't trust Him. All He wants you to do is to
love Him, and trust Him, and be happy. That's the creed for a little
girl."
"Do you think so?" Beth gasped. Then she began to reflect, and her big
grey eyes slowly dilated, while at the same time a look of intense
relief relaxed the muscles of her pinched little face. "Do you think
so?" she repeated. Then suddenly she burst into tears.
Count Gustav, somewhat disconcerted, hurriedly handed her a
handkerchief.
Another gentleman came into the saloon at the moment, and raised
inquiring eyebrows.
"Only a little martyr, momentarily released from suffering, enjoying
the reaction," Count Gustav observed. "Come on deck, and let her
sleep. Do you hear, little lady, go to sleep."
Beth, docile to a fault when gently handled, nestled down among the
blankets, shut her eyes, and prepared to obey. The sound of the water
rippling off the sides of the yacht as it glided on smoothly over the
summer-sea both soothed and cheered her. Heavenly thoughts came
crowding into her mind; then sleep surprised her, with the tears she
had been shedding for the sufferings of others still wet upon her
cheek. When she awoke, her clothes were beside her, ready to put on.
She jumped up instantly, dressed, and went on deck. The yacht was
almost stationary, and the two gentlemen, attended by the black Dane,
Gard, were fishing. Away to starboard, the land lay like a silver mist
in the heat of the afternoon. Beth turned her sorrowful little face
towards it.
"Are you homesick, Beth?" Count Gustav asked.
"No, sick of home," Beth answered; "but I suppose I shall have to go
back."
"And what then?"
"Mamma will punish me for jumping into the harbour, I expect."
"_Jumping_ in!" he ejaculated, and then a great gravity settled upon
him, and he cogitated for some time. "Why did you jump in?" he said at
last.
"Because mamma--because mamma--" her chest heaved. She was ashamed to
say.
Count Gustav exchanged glances with the other gentleman, and said no
more. But he took her home himself in the evening, and had a long talk
with mamma and Aunt Victoria; and after he had gone they were both
particularly nice to Beth, but very solemn. That night, too, Aunt
Victoria did not mention death and the judgment, but talked of heaven
and the mercy of God until Beth's brow cleared, and she was filled
with hope.
It was the next day that Aunt Victoria left them to make room for
Mildred and the boys. Beth went with her mother to see the old lady
off at the station. On account of their connections the little party
attracted attention, and Mrs. Caldwell, feeling her importance,
expected the officials to be obsequious, which they were; and, in
return, she also expected Aunt Victoria to make proper acknowledgment
of their attentions. She considered that sixpence at least was
necessary to uphold the dignity of the family on such occasions; but,
to her horror, when the moment came, Aunt Victoria, after an exciting
fumble, drew from her reticule a tract entitled "The Man on the
Slant," and, in the face of everybody, handed it to the expectant
porter.
Mrs. Caldwell assured Lady Benyon afterwards that she should never
forget that moment. Beth used to wonder why.