SUSPENSE
The next morning Honor received a telegram from Joyce to meet her at the
Grand Hotel in Calcutta without delay, and she was only too glad for a
respite of even a few days from the pain of schooling herself to avoid
the man she loved. Her parents having no objection, she caught the
express at midday, and was in Calcutta the same night, her mind
lightened of one of its burdens. At least the little wife had acted upon
advice and was going to her husband without waste of time, after which
all would surely be well for them both.
Joyce was prepared for her coming, and they talked to a late hour, she,
betraying her trouble by her anxious questioning, which Honor skilfully
parried.
"You must not put too much faith in gossip," said Honor after learning
of the conversation which had been overheard on the ship. "Have you
wired?"
Joyce confessed her intention to take her husband by surprise. "Only,
now that it has come to the point, I am as nervous as I can be."
"You had better wire. It will bring your husband down half-way to meet
you and give him some happy hours of anticipation."
"You are not sincere when you say that," said Joyce unexpectedly, "or
why did you tell me to stop at nothing to come out?"
Joyce was no longer the same, ingenuous little girl Honor had parted
from at Muktiarbad eight months ago. Her manner had acquired assurance,
her carriage a becoming dignity, and there was about her an air of
thoughtfulness and reserve, new to her.
"I said it was not good for man to live alone, nor is it."
"And you knew there was someone trying to supplant me in his
affections?"
"I knew he was exposed to the influence of a woman without a
conscience." Honor then told her precisely who Nurse Dalton was, and how
her flagrant pursuit of Ray Meredith had aroused the anxious concern of
his friends. Not another word would she add as fuel to the fire of
Joyce's jealous imagination.
"Well, I shall be able to find out all about this for myself when I am
there!" sighed Joyce when she had heard the woman's history.
Honor prayed inwardly that Mrs. Dalton would have received Captain
Dalton's offer before then, and have lost no time in arranging to come
away. She could not prevail on Joyce to telegraph to her husband of her
arrival in India, or that he was to expect her in Darjeeling as soon as
the railway service could take her there. As it was no part of a
friend's duty to interfere in the affairs of husband and wife, she
desisted from further persuasion, content to leave the issue to a Higher
Power.
They passed on to other topics, and Honor was intensely pleased to learn
from Joyce of Jack's happy fate as Kitty's accepted lover; and, further,
that the two were married by special licence soon after landing at
Bombay.
"They are so happy! Last night they left for the new station to which he
is appointed, as mentioned in the _Gazette_ yesterday. During the few
hours they were in town they tried to keep out of the way of Mrs.
Fox--perhaps you know Jack had allowed her to believe he would marry
her?"
Honor believed she had heard the rumour.
"However, as ill-luck would have it, he and Kitty ran into her, so to
speak, in the foyer of this hotel! I was there, and, believe me, I was
never so uncomfortable in my life! Kitty was looking charming, and so
smart. Happiness agrees with her, for I have never seen her look better
in my life. We were waiting for a taxi, when who should come in but Mrs.
Fox with some friends! Mistaking Kitty for me,--people say we are very
much alike,--she held out her hand and said in her affected way--you
remember?--'Oh, how d'you do, Mrs. Meredith. I had no idea you had come
out again!' Then, seeing her mistake, she apologised, for I was
following Kitty to the door.
"'It's my sister,' said I, feeling dreadfully embarrassed at having to
make the introduction. 'Mrs. Darling, Mrs. Fox,' I said, and just at
that moment Jack came in and straight up to us, with no eyes for any one
but his wife. 'Come, dear, I have managed to get a taxi for the
luggage,' and then his eyes fell on Mrs. Fox. Really, poor Jack! he
turned quite pale. But Kitty who knew all about that affair and had
forgiven it, smiled graciously at Mrs. Fox who was paralysed with shock,
and said--'I am so sorry we haven't a moment. My husband and I are tied
to time and have to catch a train. Good-bye,'--with a bow,--'so pleased
to have met you!'
"Jack also bowed, speechless, as he hurried after Kitty. We all three
fairly ran, though we had plenty of time for their train; but if looks
could have killed, I am sure Jack would have died on the spot."
To Honor's credit be it known that she suffered a twinge of pity for
Mrs. Fox; a passing twinge, such as one might feel for people when they
come to grief by their own act.
"I wonder what Mrs. Fox will do, now," Honor remarked after expressing
her hearty congratulations for the happy pair. Jack did not deserve such
happiness, but if every sinner had his deserts, there would be too many
miserable people in the world today.
"Mrs. Gupp who shares my table at meals, knows Mrs. Fox pretty well and
has very little to say in her favour. She was maliciously amused over
the affair, and is of opinion that Mrs. Fox will have to go home at
once. The story is already common property."
Honor thought Joyce lovelier than ever with her air of dignified
reserve. She had grown self-reliant and there was a tinge of hauteur in
her manner which seemed to add to her stature and give a regal carriage
to her beautiful head.
"So you are travelling all alone to Darjeeling?" Honor asked wistfully,
wondering what was going to be the upshot of that journey.
"It is nothing at all. I have hardly the patience to wait for trains.
There is so much at stake. If I could only be sure that Ray loves me as
he used to do, I would be crazy for joy! I should never leave him
again--not for anything in the world!" and she hid her face in Honor's
neck while the tears flowed.
"Not even if you come across snakes and are obliged to put up with
mosquitoes and the heat?" quizzed Honor.
"I'll face anything but the loss of my husband's love. What a fool I
have been! a blind, childish fool! Why, that affair with Captain Dalton
which I exaggerated and worried over, might have been made all right in
good time. I ought to have listened to you, and set myself to make Ray
so happy that he would have had nothing to forgive! After all, it wasn't
as if I was wilfully to blame?"
"I told you that before you went home."
"And it came to me only when I began to fear that I was losing his love!
That was a contingency I never believed possible. He was always so mad
about me, spoiling me in every way and treating me as a little queen!
Oh, Honor what a mess I have made of things!"
"Don't do anything in the heat of passion, dear," Honor advised
thoughtfully. "Remember he has had sunstroke. A man is hardly himself
for months after such an illness--sometimes for years. It affects people
differently. Some are irritable, some have clouded memories; for the
brain is the seat of the trouble."
"Are you trying to prepare me to find Ray insane?" Joyce asked with
frightened eyes.
"Not at all. He is as sane as you or I, but his impulses are not so much
under control, and his judgment is likely to err since that shock to his
brain."
"Then he is not to be held accountable for anything he has done of
late?" indignantly.
"You might take all I have said into consideration if you are required
to forgive anything he has been weak or foolish enough to have done
since his illness."
Joyce laughed bitterly. "I wonder what you would feel inclined to do in
my place?"
"Do you really wish to know?"
"I do," said Joyce as a challenge, while drying her eyes.
"The chief thing to be considered, is the future. That must be saved at
all costs. A mistake in the present, committed in haste, might affect
your future life; and not only yours, but your baby's as well. You are
about to deal with baby's daddy as well as your husband, and the whole
of your world is looking on. You might take a prejudiced view of things
that have occurred. You might, in your anger and humiliation, feel
unforgiving towards him, and so, break up your home. I question whether
anything ought to weigh against your love for your husband, if in your
heart you love him and he loves you."
"Loving me, could he be disloyal?"
Honor hesitated. "It is possible he has been suffering from a clouded
mind. Things have not been correctly focussed, as it were. And while in
that condition, if he was tempted to drift into actual wrong-doing, I
should imagine that self-loathing and remorse would afterwards be a
worse punishment for him than you could possibly conceive of. This is
presuming he has done anything to be ashamed of. In that case, I could
not be harsh. Love always forgives--even to 'seventy times seven.'"
"Honey, you are an idealist! I wonder how many women could exercise so
much forbearance! Think of the anger, the humiliation, the resentment!
It is an outrage to one's faith and trust!"
"If you had remained within reach of him so that when he was ill you
could have gone to him at once, there would have been nothing to
forgive. But for a frivolous reason you put the seas between you and
threw his love back into his face. You are also very much to blame,"
said Honor boldly.
Joyce covered her face with her hands and wept silently.
* * * * *
Honor saw her into her train at Sealdah Station the following day, and
after an afternoon spent in shopping for her mother, returned to
Muktiarbad.
Joyce spent an uncomfortable night in the train on account of the muggy
heat which was barely rendered tolerable by electric fans in the
compartment, and was glad when the time came to transfer herself and her
baggage into the toy railway of the Himalayas, which rattled briskly up
the slopes by tortuous tracks into higher altitudes and cooler climes.
A party of ladies known to each other occupied the same compartment and
chattered of all they did in Darjeeling last year, and all they meant to
do. Joyce paid little heed while silently watching the changing views as
the train wound its way along the mountain sides. The infinite grandeur
of Nature on which humanity had set its stamp, thrilled her with
wonderment and delight. All personal troubles were forgotten for a while
as the glorious scenery unfolded to her vision.
Surely her eyes must have been holden when she saw it a year ago!
Heavy mists sweeping the mountain sides frequently obliterated a picture
of purple distances and rugged heights. Anon, there was a blaze of
sunlight revealing wooded spurs with zinc-roofed cottages and grey
villages nestling on their slopes. Green valleys lay at the foot of
frowning precipices, and round many a bend and curve were glimpses of
tea gardens with the bushes laid out in serried rows; and cumbrous,
zinc-roofed tea factories looking strangely incongruous in their wild
and glorious setting.
With a rush of sound, a waterfall would be seen, as a curve was rounded,
tumbling over rocks and rushing under a bridge on its way to join some
mighty river in the plains. The plains were often visible, stretching
like a grey sea to the horizon, their surface marked by the silver
tracery of streams. Now and then, Joyce could catch a glimpse of the
Everlasting Snows, with Kinchin-junga, Nursing, and Pundeem, a mighty
group glittering in the sunlight in stately magnificence, their peaks
inaccessible to man. Beside the road, a stout parapet of boulders
covered by ferns and lichen, stood, in places, between the passengers
and certain death, a thousand feet below; while up the steep banks rose
forests of _sal_ and fir, climbing towards the sky.
Wherever there were homesteads perched among the rocks, children of the
mountains would run forth like sure-footed goats to view the passing
train, their round and ruddy cheeks besmeared with dirt and chapped with
cold; their flat faces, high cheek bones, and slanting eyes, revealing
their Lepcha strain.
And all the while the temperature continued to fall; and the atmosphere
grew moist and cold and exhilarating in its freshness.
A block in the line occasioned by a local landslip--a frequent
occurrence on the hill-railway--detained the train till the afternoon,
at Kurseong, where the passengers left their carriages for luncheon at
the hotel.
At Sonada, further on, two ladies entered the compartment and audibly
discussed certain doings at Darjeeling where they appeared to be
residing. When Joyce heard her husband's name, she set herself to
listen, determined not to miss a word.
"I suppose she will be there," said one. "Wherever Mr. Meredith goes he
manages to get an invitation for her,--and people don't much like it,
but there's his position, you know!"
"I know. They are seldom seen apart. A handsome woman in her way, but
utterly regardless! Her dress, for instance, at the Shrubbery Ball was
indeed up to date--just a band under the armpits for a bodice. I never
saw any one off the stage so disgustingly naked!"
"He looks to me rather 'fed up.' And the way she takes charge of him in
public requires nerve! he simply falls into line just as if he can't
help himself. Got into the habit, so to speak!"
"What are you going to wear tonight?" and the conversation drifted to
the Planters' Ball at the Club. The Governor and his wife were expected
to be present with their suite, and the house-party from the Shrubbery.
"It is a wonder to me," said the first speaker, "that Mrs. Dalton is
received at Government House." Joyce again held her breath.
"Oh, but her position makes that all right. Her husband is an I.M.S.
man, a rising surgeon, somewhere in the plains. They don't get on, but
that's nobody's business; and in Darjeeling one has to shut one's eyes.
If you begin to point the finger of scorn, you'll be kept fairly busy"
(with a mischievous laugh). "And after all, if her husband doesn't mind,
it's nobody's business. All the same, she's been cut by a good few, and
if he doesn't look out, he'll end in the divorce court--or she will!"
They laughed as at a great joke, and, others listening, smiled in
sympathy, while Joyce turned her burning face away.
It seemed that there was no getting away from the story of her husband's
shame. But for her having left him, this would never have been!
* * * * *
When the train drew up at the platform of the station in Darjeeling, she
pulled herself together and stepped bravely out of her compartment, head
erect, and manner perfectly composed. The need to have herself well in
hand, gave her strength of mind for the occasion, so that none of her
old friends--were she to come unexpectedly upon any--should think her
crushed and miserable; a poor, humiliated wife! No! the world should see
a laughing face.
As the roads of the Station were very familiar to her, she climbed the
path leading to the Cosmopolitan Hotel, at which her husband was
staying. It rose by easy stages to a higher level and passed by
red-brick villas built on the English plan, with pent roofs and homely
chimney-pots. In parts the road was clear, in others, heavily shaded by
tall firs, through the branches of which could be seen the Snowy Range
bathed in the soft afterglow of a lurid sunset. Preceding her was a
Lepcha boy from Sikkim, carrying her trunk mountaineer fashion on his
back, strapped to his forehead; and it was a mystery how he lifted
himself as well as his burden up the short cuts, without pausing to draw
breath.