XXIX
Robert—there is no occasion to mention his surname: he was a young
farmer of some education who tried to coax the aged soil of Wiltshire
scientifically—came to Cadover on business and fell in love with Mrs.
Elliot. She was there on her bridal visit, and he, an obscure nobody,
was received by Mrs. Failing into the house and treated as her social
equal. He was good-looking in a bucolic way, and people sometimes
mistook him for a gentleman until they saw his hands. He discovered
this, and one of the slow, gentle jokes he played on society was to
talk upon some cultured subject with his hands behind his back and
then suddenly reveal them. “Do you go in for boating?” the lady would
ask; and then he explained that those particular weals are made by the
handles of the plough. Upon which she became extremely interested, but
found an early opportunity of talking to some one else.
He played this joke on Mrs. Elliot the first evening, not knowing that
she observed him as he entered the room. He walked heavily, lifting
his feet as if the carpet was furrowed, and he had no evening clothes.
Every one tried to put him at his ease, but she rather suspected that
he was there already, and envied him. They were introduced, and spoke
of Byron, who was still fashionable. Out came his hands—the only rough
hands in the drawing-room, the only hands that had ever worked. She was
filled with some strange approval, and liked him.
After dinner they met again, to speak not of Byron but of manure. The
other people were so clever and so amusing that it relieved her to
listen to a man who told her three times not to buy artificial manure
ready made, but, if she would use it, to make it herself at the last
moment. Because the ammonia evaporated. Here were two packets of
powder. Did they smell? No. Mix them together and pour some coffee—An
appalling smell at once burst forth, and every one began to cough and
cry. This was good for the earth when she felt sour, for he knew when
the earth was ill. He knew, too, when she was hungry: he spoke of her
tantrums—the strange unscientific element in her that will baffle
the scientist to the end of time. “Study away, Mrs. Elliot,” he told
her; “read all the books you can get hold of; but when it comes to the
point, stroll out with a pipe in your mouth and do a bit of guessing.”
As he talked, the earth became a living being—or rather a being with
a living skin,—and manure no longer dirty stuff, but a symbol of
regeneration and of the birth of life from life. “So it goes on for
ever!” she cried excitedly. He replied: “Not for ever. In time the fire
at the centre will cool, and nothing can go on then.”
He advanced into love with open eyes, slowly, heavily, just as he had
advanced across the drawing room carpet. But this time the bride did
not observe his tread. She was listening to her husband, and trying
not to be so stupid. When he was close to her—so close that it was
difficult not to take her in his arms—he spoke to Mr. Failing, and was
at once turned out of Cadover.
“I’m sorry,” said Mr. Failing, as he walked down the drive with his
hand on his guest’s shoulder. “I had no notion you were that sort. Any
one who behaves like that has to stop at the farm.”
“Any one?”
“Any one.” He sighed heavily, not for any personal grievance, but
because he saw how unruly, how barbaric, is the soul of man. After all,
this man was more civilized than most.
“Are you angry with me, sir?” He called him “sir,” not because he was
richer or cleverer or smarter, not because he had helped to educate him
and had lent him money, but for a reason more profound—for the reason
that there are gradations in heaven.
“I did think you—that a man like you wouldn’t risk making people
unhappy. My sister-in-law—I don’t say this to stop you loving her;
something else must do that—my sister-in-law, as far as I know,
doesn’t care for you one little bit. If you had said anything, if she
had guessed that a chance person was in—this fearful state, you would
simply—have opened hell. A woman of her sort would have lost all—”
“I knew that.”
Mr. Failing removed his hand. He was displeased.
“But something here,” said Robert incoherently. “This here.” He struck
himself heavily on the heart. “This here, doing something so unusual,
makes it not matter what she loses—I—” After a silence he asked,
“Have I quite followed you, sir, in that business of the brotherhood of
man?”
“How do you mean?”
“I thought love was to bring it about.”
“Love of another man’s wife? Sensual love? You have understood
nothing—nothing.” Then he was ashamed, and cried, “I understand
nothing myself.” For he remembered that sensual and spiritual are not
easy words to use; that there are, perhaps, not two Aphrodites, but one
Aphrodite with a Janus face. “I only understand that you must try to
forget her.”
“I will not try.”
“Promise me just this, then—not to do anything crooked.”
“I’m straight. No boasting, but I couldn’t do a crooked thing—no, not
if I tried.”
And so appallingly straight was he in after years, that Mr. Failing
wished that he had phrased the promise differently.
Robert simply waited. He told himself that it was hopeless; but
something deeper than himself declared that there was hope. He gave up
drink, and kept himself in all ways clean, for he wanted to be worthy
of her when the time came. Women seemed fond of him, and caused him to
reflect with pleasure, “They do run after me. There must be something
in me. Good. I’d be done for if there wasn’t.” For six years he turned
up the earth of Wiltshire, and read books for the sake of his mind,
and talked to gentlemen for the sake of their patois, and each year he
rode to Cadover to take off his hat to Mrs. Elliot, and, perhaps, to
speak to her about the crops. Mr. Failing was generally present, and
it struck neither man that those dull little visits were so many words
out of which a lonely woman might build sentences. Then Robert went to
London on business. He chanced to see Mr. Elliot with a strange lady.
The time had come.
He became diplomatic, and called at Mr. Elliot’s rooms to find things
out. For if Mrs. Elliot was happier than he could ever make her, he
would withdraw, and love her in renunciation. But if he could make
her happier, he would love her in fulfilment. Mr. Elliot admitted him
as a friend of his brother-in-law’s, and felt very broad-minded as he
did so. Robert, however, was a success. The youngish men there found
him interesting, and liked to shock him with tales of naughty London
and naughtier Paris. They spoke of “experience” and “sensations” and
“seeing life,” and when a smile ploughed over his face, concluded
that his prudery was vanquished. He saw that they were much less
vicious than they supposed: one boy had obviously read his sensations
in a book. But he could pardon vice. What he could not pardon was
triviality, and he hoped that no decent woman could pardon it either.
There grew up in him a cold, steady anger against these silly people
who thought it advanced to be shocking, and who described, as something
particularly choice and educational, things that he had understood
and fought against for years. He inquired after Mrs. Elliot, and a
boy tittered. It seemed that she “did not know,” that she lived in a
remote suburb, taking care of a skinny baby. “I shall call some time or
other,” said Robert. “Do,” said Mr. Elliot, smiling. And next time he
saw his wife he congratulated her on her rustic admirer.
She had suffered terribly. She had asked for bread, and had been given
not even a stone. People talk of hungering for the ideal, but there
is another hunger, quite as divine, for facts. She had asked for
facts and had been given “views,” “emotional standpoints,” “attitudes
towards life.” To a woman who believed that facts are beautiful, that
the living world is beautiful beyond the laws of beauty, that manure
is neither gross nor ludicrous, that a fire, not eternal, glows at
the heart of the earth, it was intolerable to be put off with what
the Elliots called “philosophy,” and, if she refused, to be told that
she had no sense of humour. “Marrying into the Elliot family.” It had
sounded so splendid, for she was a penniless child with nothing to
offer, and the Elliots held their heads high. For what reason? What had
they ever done, except say sarcastic things, and limp, and be refined?
Mr. Failing suffered too, but she suffered more, inasmuch as Frederick
was more impossible than Emily. He did not like her, he practically
lived apart, he was not even faithful or polite. These were grave
faults, but they were human ones: she could even imagine them in a man
she loved. What she could never love was a dilettante.
Robert brought her an armful of sweet-peas. He laid it on the table,
put his hands behind his back, and kept them there till the end of the
visit. She knew quite well why he had come, and though she also knew
that he would fail, she loved him too much to snub him or to stare in
virtuous indignation. “Why have you come?” she asked gravely, “and why
have you brought me so many flowers?”
“My garden is full of them,” he answered. “Sweet-peas need picking down.
And, generally speaking, flowers are plentiful in July.”
She broke his present into bunches—so much for the drawing-room, so
much for the nursery, so much for the kitchen and her husband’s room:
he would be down for the night. The most beautiful she would keep for
herself. Presently he said, “Your husband is no good. I’ve watched
him for a week. I’m thirty, and not what you call hasty, as I used to
be, or thinking that nothing matters like the French. No. I’m a plain
Britisher, yet—I—I’ve begun wrong end, Mrs. Elliot; I should have
said that I’ve thought chiefly of you for six years, and that though I
talk here so respectfully, if I once unhooked my hands—”
There was a pause. Then she said with great sweetness, “Thank you; I am
glad you love me,” and rang the bell.
“What have you done that for?” he cried.
“Because you must now leave the house, and never enter it again.”
“I don’t go alone,” and he began to get furious.
Her voice was still sweet, but strength lay in it too, as she said,
“You either go now with my thanks and blessing, or else you go with the
police. I am Mrs. Elliot. We need not discuss Mr. Elliot. I am Mrs.
Elliot, and if you make one step towards me I give you in charge.”
But the maid answered the bell not of the drawing-room, but of the
front door. They were joined by Mr. Elliot, who held out his hand with
much urbanity. It was not taken. He looked quickly at his wife, and
said, “Am I _de trop_?” There was a long silence. At last she said,
“Frederick, turn this man out.”
“My love, why?”
Robert said that he loved her.
“Then I am _de trop_,” said Mr. Elliot, smoothing out his gloves. He
would give these sodden barbarians a lesson. “My hansom is waiting at
the door. Pray make use of it.”
“Don’t!” she cried, almost affectionately. “Dear Frederick, it isn’t a
play. Just tell this man to go, or send for the police.”
“On the contrary; it is French comedy of the best type. Don’t you
agree, sir, that the police would be an inartistic error?” He was
perfectly calm and collected, whereas they were in a pitiable state.
“Turn him out at once!” she cried. “He has insulted your wife. Save
me, save me!” She clung to her husband and wept. “He was going—I had
managed him—he would never have known—” Mr. Elliot repulsed her.
“If you don’t feel inclined to start at once,” he said with easy
civility, “let us have a little tea. My dear sir, do forgive me for
not shooting you. _Nous avons changé tout cela_. Please don’t look so
nervous. Please do unclasp your hands—”
He was alone.
“That’s all right,” he exclaimed, and strolled to the door. The hansom
was disappearing round the corner. “That’s all right,” he repeated in
more quavering tones as he returned to the drawing-room and saw that it
was littered with sweet-peas. Their colour got on his nerves—magenta,
crimson; magenta, crimson. He tried to pick them up, and they escaped.
He trod them underfoot, and they multiplied and danced in the triumph
of summer like a thousand butterflies. The train had left when he got
to the station. He followed on to London, and there he lost all traces.
At midnight he began to realize that his wife could never belong to him
again.
Mr. Failing had a letter from Stockholm. It was never known what
impulse sent them there. “I am sorry about it all, but it was the only
way.” The letter censured the law of England, “which obliges us to
behave like this, or else we should never get married. I shall come
back to face things: she will not come back till she is my wife. He
must bring an action soon, or else we shall try one against him. It
seems all very unconventional, but it is not really, it is only a
difficult start. We are not like you or your wife: we want to be just
ordinary people, and make the farm pay, and not be noticed all our
lives.”
And they were capable of living as they wanted. The class difference,
which so intrigued Mrs. Failing, meant very little to them. It was
there, but so were other things.
They both cared for work and living in the open, and for not speaking
unless they had got something to say. Their love of beauty, like their
love for each other, was not dependent on detail: it grew not from the
nerves but from the soul.
“I believe a leaf of grass is no less than the journey work of the
stars,
And the pismire is equally perfect, and a grain of sand, and the egg of
the wren,
And the tree toad is a chef-d’oeuvre for the highest,
And the running blackberry would adorn the parlours of heaven.”
They had never read these lines, and would have thought them nonsense
if they had. They did not dissect—indeed they could not. But she, at
all events, divined that more than perfect health and perfect weather,
more than personal love, had gone to the making of those seventeen days.
“Ordinary people!” cried Mrs. Failing on hearing the letter. At that
time she was young and daring. “Why, they’re divine! They’re forces of
Nature! They’re as ordinary as volcanoes. We all knew my brother was
disgusting, and wanted him to be blown to pieces, but we never thought
it would happen. Do look at the thing bravely, and say, as I do, that
they are guiltless in the sight of God.”
“I think they are,” replied her husband. “But they are not guiltless in
the sight of man.”
“You conventional!” she exclaimed in disgust. “What they have done
means misery not only for themselves but for others. For your brother,
though you will not think of him. For the little boy—did you think
of him? And perhaps for another child, who will have the whole world
against him if it knows. They have sinned against society, and you do
not diminish the misery by proving that society is bad or foolish.
It is the saddest truth I have yet perceived that the Beloved
Republic”—here she took up a book—“of which Swinburne speaks”—she
put the book down—“will not be brought about by love alone. It will
approach with no flourish of trumpets, and have no declaration of
independence. Self-sacrifice and—worse still—self-mutilation are the
things that sometimes help it most, and that is why we should start
for Stockholm this evening.” He waited for her indignation to subside,
and then continued. “I don’t know whether it can be hushed up. I don’t
yet know whether it ought to be hushed up. But we ought to provide the
opportunity. There is no scandal yet. If we go, it is just possible
there never will be any. We must talk over the whole thing and—”
“—And lie!” interrupted Mrs. Failing, who hated travel.
“—And see how to avoid the greatest unhappiness.”
There was to be no scandal. By the time they arrived Robert had been
drowned. Mrs. Elliot described how they had gone swimming, and how,
“since he always lived inland,” the great waves had tired him. They had
raced for the open sea.
“What are your plans?” he asked. “I bring you a message from Frederick.”
“I heard him call,” she continued, “but I thought he was laughing. When
I turned, it was too late. He put his hands behind his back and sank.
For he would only have drowned me with him. I should have done the
same.”
Mrs. Failing was thrilled, and kissed her. But Mr. Failing knew that
life does not continue heroic for long, and he gave her the message
from her husband: Would she come back to him?
To his intense astonishment—at first to his regret—she replied, “I
will think about it. If I loved him the very least bit I should say no.
If I had anything to do with my life I should say no. But it is simply
a question of beating time till I die. Nothing that is coming matters.
I may as well sit in his drawing-room and dust his furniture, since he
has suggested it.”
And Mr. Elliot, though he made certain stipulations, was positively
glad to see her. People had begun to laugh at him, and to say that his
wife had run away. She had not. She had been with his sister in Sweden.
In a half miraculous way the matter was hushed up. Even the Silts only
scented “something strange.” When Stephen was born, it was abroad. When
he came to England, it was as the child of a friend of Mr. Failing’s.
Mrs. Elliot returned unsuspected to her husband.
But though things can be hushed up, there is no such thing as beating
time; and as the years passed she realized her terrible mistake. When
her lover sank, eluding her last embrace, she thought, as Agnes was
to think after her, that her soul had sunk with him, and that never
again should she be capable of earthly love. Nothing mattered. She
might as well go and be useful to her husband and to the little boy
who looked exactly like him, and who, she thought, was exactly like
him in disposition. Then Stephen was born, and altered her life. She
could still love people passionately; she still drew strength from the
heroic past. Yet, to keep to her bond, she must see this son only as a
stranger. She was protected by the conventions, and must pay them their
fee. And a curious thing happened. Her second child drew her towards
her first. She began to love Rickie also, and to be more than useful
to him. And as her love revived, so did her capacity for suffering.
Life, more important, grew more bitter. She minded her husband more,
not less; and when at last he died, and she saw a glorious autumn,
beautiful with the voices of boys who should call her mother, the end
came for her as well, before she could remember the grave in the alien
north and the dust that would never return to the dear fields that had
given it.
XXX
Stephen, the son of these people, had one instinct that troubled him.
At night—especially out of doors—it seemed rather strange that he
was alive. The dry grass pricked his cheek, the fields were invisible
and mute, and here was he, throwing stones at the darkness or smoking
a pipe. The stones vanished, the pipe would burn out. But he would be
here in the morning when the sun rose, and he would bathe, and run in
the mist. He was proud of his good circulation, and in the morning it
seemed quite natural. But at night, why should there be this difference
between him and the acres of land that cooled all round him until the
sun returned? What lucky chance had heated him up, and sent him, warm
and lovable, into a passive world? He had other instincts, but these
gave him no trouble. He simply gratified each as it occurred, provided
he could do so without grave injury to his fellows. But the instinct to
wonder at the night was not to be thus appeased. At first he had lived
under the care of Mr. Failing—the only person to whom his mother spoke
freely, the only person who had treated her neither as a criminal nor
as a pioneer. In their rare but intimate conversations she had asked
him to educate her son. “I will teach him Latin,” he answered. “The
rest such a boy must remember.” Latin, at all events, was a failure:
who could attend to Virgil when the sound of the thresher arose, and
you knew that the stack was decreasing and that rats rushed more
plentifully each moment to their doom? But he was fond of Mr. Failing,
and cried when he died. Mrs. Elliot, a pleasant woman, died soon after.
There was something fatal in the order of these deaths. Mr. Failing
had made no provision for the boy in his will: his wife had promised
to see to this. Then came Mr. Elliot’s death, and, before the new home
was created, the sudden death of Mrs. Elliot. She also left Stephen no
money: she had none to leave. Chance threw him into the power of Mrs.
Failing. “Let things go on as they are,” she thought. “I will take care
of this pretty little boy, and the ugly little boy can live with the
Silts. After my death—well, the papers will be found after my death,
and they can meet then. I like the idea of their mutual ignorance. It
is amusing.”
He was then twelve. With a few brief intervals of school, he lived in
Wiltshire until he was driven out. Life had two distinct sides—the
drawing-room and the other. In the drawing-room people talked a good
deal, laughing as they talked. Being clever, they did not care for
animals: one man had never seen a hedgehog. In the other life people
talked and laughed separately, or even did neither. On the whole, in
spite of the wet and gamekeepers, this life was preferable. He knew
where he was. He glanced at the boy, or later at the man, and behaved
accordingly. There was no law—the policeman was negligible. Nothing
bound him but his own word, and he gave that sparingly.
It is impossible to be romantic when you have your heart’s desire, and
such a boy disappointed Mrs. Failing greatly. His parents had met for
one brief embrace, had found one little interval between the power of
the rulers of this world and the power of death. He was the child of
poetry and of rebellion, and poetry should run in his veins. But he
lived too near the things he loved to seem poetical. Parted from them,
he might yet satisfy her, and stretch out his hands with a pagan’s
yearning. As it was, he only rode her horses, and trespassed, and
bathed, and worked, for no obvious reason, upon her fields. Affection
she did not believe in, and made no attempt to mould him; and he, for
his part, was very content to harden untouched into a man. His parents
had given him excellent gifts—health, sturdy limbs, and a face not
ugly,—gifts that his habits confirmed. They had also given him a
cloudless spirit—the spirit of the seventeen days in which he was
created. But they had not given him the spirit of their six years of
waiting, and love for one person was never to be the greatest thing he
knew.
“Philosophy” had postponed the quarrel between them. Incurious about
his personal origin, he had a certain interest in our eternal problems.
The interest never became a passion: it sprang out of his physical
growth, and was soon merged in it again. Or, as he put it himself,
“I must get fixed up before starting.” He was soon fixed up as a
materialist. Then he tore up the sixpenny reprints, and never amused
Mrs. Failing so much again.
About the time he fixed himself up, he took to drink. He knew of
no reason against it. The instinct was in him, and it hurt nobody.
Here, as elsewhere, his motions were decided, and he passed at once
from roaring jollity to silence. For those who live on the fuddled
borderland, who crawl home by the railings and maunder repentance in
the morning, he had a biting contempt. A man must take his tumble and
his headache. He was, in fact, as little disgusting as is conceivable;
and hitherto he had not strained his constitution or his will. Nor did
he get drunk as often as Agnes suggested. The real quarrel gathered
elsewhere.
Presentable people have run wild in their youth. But the hour comes
when they turn from their boorish company to higher things. This hour
never came for Stephen. Somewhat a bully by nature, he kept where his
powers would tell, and continued to quarrel and play with the men he
had known as boys. He prolonged their youth unduly. “They won’t settle
down,” said Mr. Wilbraham to his wife. “They’re wanting things. It’s
the germ of a Trades Union. I shall get rid of a few of the worst.”
Then Stephen rushed up to Mrs. Failing and worried her. “It wasn’t
fair. So-and-so was a good sort. He did his work. Keen about it? No.
Why should he be? Why should he be keen about somebody else’s land? But
keen enough. And very keen on football.” She laughed, and said a word
about So-and-so to Mr. Wilbraham. Mr. Wilbraham blazed up. “How could
the farm go on without discipline? How could there be discipline if
Mr. Stephen interfered? Mr. Stephen liked power. He spoke to the men
like one of themselves, and pretended it was all equality, but he took
care to come out top. Natural, of course, that, being a gentleman, he
should. But not natural for a gentleman to loiter all day with poor
people and learn their work, and put wrong notions into their heads,
and carry their newfangled grievances to Mrs. Failing. Which partly
accounted for the deficit on the past year.” She rebuked Stephen. Then
he lost his temper, was rude to her, and insulted Mr. Wilbraham.
The worst days of Mr. Failing’s rule seemed to be returning. And
Stephen had a practical experience, and also a taste for battle, that
her husband had never possessed. He drew up a list of grievances, some
absurd, others fundamental. No newspapers in the reading-room, you
could put a plate under the Thompsons’ door, no level cricket-pitch,
no allotments and no time to work in them, Mrs. Wilbraham’s knife-boy
underpaid. “Aren’t you a little unwise?” she asked coldly. “I am more
bored than you think over the farm.” She was wanting to correct the
proofs of the book and rewrite the prefatory memoir. In her irritation
she wrote to Agnes. Agnes replied sympathetically, and Mrs. Failing,
clever as she was, fell into the power of the younger woman. They
discussed him at first as a wretch of a boy; then he got drunk and
somehow it seemed more criminal. All that she needed now was a personal
grievance, which Agnes casually supplied. Though vindictive, she was
determined to treat him well, and thought with satisfaction of our
distant colonies. But he burst into an odd passion: he would sooner
starve than leave England. “Why?” she asked. “Are you in love?” He
picked up a lump of the chalk—they were by the arbour—and made no
answer. The vicar murmured, “It is not like going abroad—Greater
Britain—blood is thicker than water—” A lump of chalk broke her
drawing-room window on the Saturday.
Thus Stephen left Wiltshire, half-blackguard, half-martyr. Do not brand
him as a socialist. He had no quarrel with society, nor any particular
belief in people because they are poor. He only held the creed of “here
am I and there are you,” and therefore class distinctions were trivial
things to him, and life no decorous scheme, but a personal combat or a
personal truce. For the same reason ancestry also was trivial, and a
man not the dearer because the same woman was mother to them both. Yet
it seemed worth while to go to Sawston with the news. Perhaps nothing
would come of it; perhaps friendly intercourse, and a home while he
looked around.
When they wronged him he walked quietly away. He never thought of
allotting the blame, nor of appealing to Ansell, who still sat brooding
in the side-garden. He only knew that educated people could be
horrible, and that a clean liver must never enter Dunwood House again.
The air seemed stuffy. He spat in the gutter. Was it yesterday he had
lain in the rifle-butts over Salisbury? Slightly aggrieved, he wondered
why he was not back there now. “I ought to have written first,” he
reflected. “Here is my money gone. I cannot move. The Elliots have, as
it were, practically robbed me.” That was the only grudge he retained
against them. Their suspicions and insults were to him as the curses of
a tramp whom he passed by the wayside. They were dirty people, not his
sort. He summed up the complicated tragedy as a “take in.”
While Rickie was being carried upstairs, and while Ansell (had he known
it) was dashing about the streets for him, he lay under a railway
arch trying to settle his plans. He must pay back the friends who had
given him shillings and clothes. He thought of Flea, whose Sundays he
was spoiling—poor Flea, who ought to be in them now, shining before
his girl. “I daresay he’ll be ashamed and not go to see her, and then
she’ll take the other man.” He was also very hungry. That worm Mrs.
Elliot would be through her lunch by now. Tying his braces round
him, and tearing up those old wet documents, he stepped forth to make
money. A villainous young brute he looked: his clothes were dirty, and
he had lost the spring of the morning. Touching the walls, frowning,
talking to himself at times, he slouched disconsolately northwards;
no wonder that some tawdry girls screamed at him, or that matrons
averted their eyes as they hurried to afternoon church. He wandered
from one suburb to another, till he was among people more villainous
than himself, who bought his tobacco from him and sold him food. Again
the neighbourhood “went up,” and families, instead of sitting on their
doorsteps, would sit behind thick muslin curtains. Again it would “go
down” into a more avowed despair. Far into the night he wandered, until
he came to a solemn river majestic as a stream in hell. Therein were
gathered the waters of Central England—those that flow off Hindhead,
off the Chilterns, off Wiltshire north of the Plain. Therein they
were made intolerable ere they reached the sea. But the waters he had
known escaped. Their course lay southward into the Avon by forests
and beautiful fields, even swift, even pure, until they mirrored the
tower of Christchurch and greeted the ramparts of the Isle of Wight.
Of these he thought for a moment as he crossed the black river and
entered the heart of the modern world. Here he found employment. He was
not hampered by genteel traditions, and, as it was near quarter-day,
managed to get taken on at a furniture warehouse. He moved people from
the suburbs to London, from London to the suburbs, from one suburb to
another. His companions were hurried and querulous. In particular,
he loathed the foreman, a pious humbug who allowed no swearing, but
indulged in something far more degraded—the Cockney repartee. The
London intellect, so pert and shallow, like a stream that never reaches
the ocean, disgusted him almost as much as the London physique, which
for all its dexterity is not permanent, and seldom continues into the
third generation. His father, had he known it, had felt the same; for
between Mr. Elliot and the foreman the gulf was social, not spiritual:
both spent their lives in trying to be clever. And Tony Failing had
once put the thing into words: “There’s no such thing as a Londoner.
He’s only a country man on the road to sterility.”
At the end of ten days he had saved scarcely anything. Once he passed
the bank where a hundred pounds lay ready for him, but it was still
inconvenient for him to take them. Then duty sent him to a suburb not
very far from Sawston. In the evening a man who was driving a trap
asked him to hold it, and by mistake tipped him a sovereign. Stephen
called after him; but the man had a woman with him and wanted to show
off, and though he had meant to tip a shilling, and could not afford
that, he shouted back that his sovereign was as good as any one’s, and
that if Stephen did not think so he could do various things and go to
various places. On the action of this man much depends. Stephen changed
the sovereign into a postal order, and sent it off to the people at
Cadford. It did not pay them back, but it paid them something, and he
felt that his soul was free.
A few shillings remained in his pocket. They would have paid his
fare towards Wiltshire, a good county; but what should he do there?
Who would employ him? Today the journey did not seem worth while.
“Tomorrow, perhaps,” he thought, and determined to spend the money on
pleasure of another kind. Two-pence went for a ride on an electric
tram. From the top he saw the sun descend—a disc with a dark red edge.
The same sun was descending over Salisbury intolerably bright. Out of
the golden haze the spire would be piercing, like a purple needle; then
mists arose from the Avon and the other streams. Lamps flickered, but
in the outer purity the villages were already slumbering. Salisbury
is only a Gothic upstart beside these. For generations they have come
down to her to buy or to worship, and have found in her the reasonable
crisis of their lives; but generations before she was built they were
clinging to the soil, and renewing it with sheep and dogs and men,
who found the crisis of their lives upon Stonehenge. The blood of
these men ran in Stephen; the vigour they had won for him was as yet
untarnished; out on those downs they had united with rough women to
make the thing he spoke of as “himself”; the last of them has rescued
a woman of a different kind from streets and houses such as these. As
the sun descended he got off the tram with a smile of expectation. A
public-house lay opposite, and a boy in a dirty uniform was already
lighting its enormous lamp. His lips parted, and he went in.
Two hours later, when Rickie and Herbert were going the rounds, a brick
came crashing at the study window. Herbert peered into the garden, and
a hooligan slipped by him into the house, wrecked the hall, lurched up
the stairs, fell against the banisters, balanced for a moment on his
spine, and slid over. Herbert called for the police. Rickie, who was
upon the landing, caught the man by the knees and saved his life.
“What is it?” cried Agnes, emerging.
“It’s Stephen come back,” was the answer. “Hullo, Stephen!”
XXXI
Hither had Rickie moved in ten days—from disgust to penitence, from
penitence to longing from a life of horror to a new life, in which he
still surprised himself by unexpected words. Hullo, Stephen! For the
son of his mother had come back, to forgive him, as she would have
done, to live with him, as she had planned.
“He’s drunk this time,” said Agnes wearily. She too had altered: the
scandal was ageing her, and Ansell came to the house daily.
“Hullo, Stephen!”
But Stephen was now insensible.
“Stephen, you live here—”
“Good gracious me!” interposed Herbert. “My advice is, that we all go
to bed. The less said the better while our nerves are in this state.
Very well, Rickie. Of course, Wonham sleeps the night if you wish.”
They carried the drunken mass into the spare room. A mass of scandal
it seemed to one of them, a symbol of redemption to the other. Neither
acknowledged it a man, who would answer them back after a few hours’
rest.
“Ansell thought he would never forgive me,” said Rickie. “For once he’s
wrong.”
“Come to bed now, I think.” And as Rickie laid his hand on the
sleeper’s hair, he added, “You won’t do anything foolish, will you? You
are still in a morbid state. Your poor mother—Pardon me, dear boy; it
is my turn to speak out. You thought it was your father, and minded. It
is your mother. Surely you ought to mind more?”
“I have been too far back,” said Rickie gently. “Ansell took me on a
journey that was even new to him. We got behind right and wrong, to a
place where only one thing matters—that the Beloved should rise from
the dead.”
“But you won’t do anything rash?”
“Why should I?”
“Remember poor Agnes,” he stammered. “I—I am the first to acknowledge
that we might have pursued a different policy. But we are committed
to it now. It makes no difference whose son he is. I mean, he is the
same person. You and I and my sister stand or fall together. It was our
agreement from the first. I hope—No more of these distressing scenes
with her, there’s a dear fellow. I assure you they make my heart bleed.”
“Things will quiet down now.”
“To bed now; I insist upon that much.”
“Very well,” said Rickie, and when they were in the passage, locked the
door from the outside. “We want no more muddles,” he explained.
Mr. Pembroke was left examining the hall. The bust of Hermes was
broken. So was the pot of the palm. He could not go to bed without once
more sounding Rickie. “You’ll do nothing rash,” he called. “The notion
of him living here was, of course, a passing impulse. We three have
adopted a common policy.”
“Now, you go away!” called a voice that was almost flippant. “I never
did belong to that great sect whose doctrine is that each one should
select—at least, I’m not going to belong to it any longer. Go away to
bed.”
“A good night’s rest is what you need,” threatened Herbert, and
retired, not to find one for himself.
But Rickie slept. The guilt of months and the remorse of the last ten
days had alike departed. He had thought that his life was poisoned, and
lo! it was purified. He had cursed his mother, and Ansell had replied,
“You may be right, but you stand too near to settle. Step backwards.
Pretend that it happened to me. Do you want me to curse my mother?
Now, step forward and see whether anything has changed.” Something had
changed. He had journeyed—as on rare occasions a man must—till he
stood behind right and wrong. On the banks of the grey torrent of life,
love is the only flower. A little way up the stream and a little way
down had Rickie glanced, and he knew that she whom he loved had risen
from the dead, and might rise again. “Come away—let them die out—let
them die out.” Surely that dream was a vision! To-night also he hurried
to the window—to remember, with a smile, that Orion is not among the
stars of June.
“Let me die out. She will continue,” he murmured, and in making plans
for Stephen’s happiness, fell asleep.
Next morning after breakfast he announced that his brother must live
at Dunwood House. They were awed by the very moderation of his tone.
“There’s nothing else to be done. Cadover’s hopeless, and a boy of
those tendencies can’t go drifting. There is also the question of a
profession for him, and his allowance.”
“We have to thank Mr. Ansell for this,” was all that Agnes could say;
and “I foresee disaster,” was the contribution of Herbert.
“There’s plenty of money about,” Rickie continued. “Quite a man’s-worth
too much. It has been one of our absurdities. Don’t look so sad,
Herbert. I’m sorry for you people, but he’s sure to let us down easy.”
For his experience of drunkards and of Stephen was small.
He supposed that he had come without malice to renew the offer of ten
days ago.
“It is the end of Dunwood House.”
Rickie nodded, and hoped not. Agnes, who was not looking well, began to
cry. “Oh, it is too bad,” she complained, “when I’ve saved you from him
all these years.” But he could not pity her, nor even sympathize with
her wounded delicacy. The time for such nonsense was over. He would
take his share of the blame: it was cant to assume it all.
Perhaps he was over-hard. He did not realize how large his share was,
nor how his very virtues were to blame for her deterioration. “If I
had a girl, I’d keep her in line,” is not the remark of a fool nor
of a cad. Rickie had not kept his wife in line. He had shown her all
the workings of his soul, mistaking this for love; and in consequence
she was the worse woman after two years of marriage, and he, on this
morning of freedom, was harder upon her than he need have been.
The spare room bell rang. Herbert had a painful struggle between
curiosity and duty, for the bell for chapel was ringing also, and he
must go through the drizzle to school. He promised to come up in the
interval. Rickie, who had rapped his head that Sunday on the edge of
the table, was still forbidden to work. Before him a quiet morning lay.
Secure of his victory, he took the portrait of their mother in his hand
and walked leisurely upstairs. The bell continued to ring.
“See about his breakfast,” he called to Agnes, who replied, “Very
well.” The handle of the spare room door was moving slowly. “I’m
coming,” he cried. The handle was still. He unlocked and entered, his
heart full of charity.
But within stood a man who probably owned the world.
Rickie scarcely knew him; last night he had seemed so colorless, no
negligible. In a few hours he had recaptured motion and passion and the
imprint of the sunlight and the wind. He stood, not consciously heroic,
with arms that dangled from broad stooping shoulders, and feet that
played with a hassock on the carpet. But his hair was beautiful against
the grey sky, and his eyes, recalling the sky unclouded, shot past the
intruder as if to some worthier vision. So intent was their gaze that
Rickie himself glanced backwards, only to see the neat passage and the
banisters at the top of the stairs. Then the lips beat together twice,
and out burst a torrent of amazing words.
“Add it all up, and let me know how much. I’d sooner have died. It
never took me that way before. I must have broken pounds’ worth. If
you’ll not tell the police, I promise you shan’t lose, Mr. Elliot, I
swear. But it may be months before I send it. Everything is to be new.
You’ve not to be a penny out of pocket, do you see? Do let me go, this
once again.”
“What’s the trouble?” asked Rickie, as if they had been friends for
years. “My dear man, we’ve other things to talk about. Gracious me,
what a fuss! If you’d smashed the whole house I wouldn’t mind, so long
as you came back.”
“I’d sooner have died,” gulped Stephen.
“You did nearly! It was I who caught you. Never mind yesterday’s rag.
What can you manage for breakfast?”
The face grew more angry and more puzzled. “Yesterday wasn’t a rag,” he
said without focusing his eyes. “I was drunk, but naturally meant it.”
“Meant what?”
“To smash you. Bad liquor did what Mrs. Elliot couldn’t. I’ve put
myself in the wrong. You’ve got me.”
It was a poor beginning.
“As I have got you,” said Rickie, controlling himself, “I want to have
a talk with you. There has been a ghastly mistake.”
But Stephen, with a countryman’s persistency, continued on his own
line. He meant to be civil, but Rickie went cold round the mouth. For
he had not even been angry with them. Until he was drunk, they had been
dirty people—not his sort. Then the trivial injury recurred, and he
had reeled to smash them as he passed. “And I will pay for everything,”
was his refrain, with which the sighing of raindrops mingled. “You
shan’t lose a penny, if only you let me free.”
“You’ll pay for my coffin if you talk like that any longer! Will you,
one, forgive my frightful behaviour; two, live with me?” For his only
hope was in a cheerful precision.
Stephen grew more agitated. He thought it was some trick.
“I was saying I made an unspeakable mistake. Ansell put me right, but
it was too late to find you. Don’t think I got off easily. Ansell
doesn’t spare one. And you’ve got to forgive me, to share my life, to
share my money.—I’ve brought you this photograph—I want it to be the
first thing you accept from me—you have the greater right—I know all
the story now. You know who it is?”
“Oh yes; but I don’t want to drag all that in.”
“It is only her wish if we live together. She was planning it when she
died.”
“I can’t follow—because—to share your life? Did you know I called
here last Sunday week?”
“Yes. But then I only knew half. I thought you were my father’s son.”
Stephen’s anger and bewilderment were increasing. He stuttered.
“What—what’s the odds if you did?”
“I hated my father,” said Rickie. “I loved my mother.” And never had
the phrases seemed so destitute of meaning.
“Last Sunday week,” interrupted Stephen, his voice suddenly rising, “I
came to call on you. Not as this or that’s son. Not to fall on your
neck. Nor to live here. Nor—damn your dirty little mind! I meant to
say I didn’t come for money. Sorry. Sorry. I simply came as I was, and
I haven’t altered since.”
“Yes—yet our mother—for me she has risen from the dead since then—I
know I was wrong—”
“And where do I come in?” He kicked the hassock. “_I_ haven’t risen
from the dead. _I_ haven’t altered since last Sunday week. I’m—” He
stuttered again. He could not quite explain what he was. “The man
towards Andover—after all, he was having principles. But you’ve—” His
voice broke. “I mind it—I’m—_I_ don’t alter—blackguard one week—live
here the next—I keep to one or the other—you’ve hurt something most
badly in me that I didn’t know was there.”
“Don’t let us talk,” said Rickie. “It gets worse every minute. Simply
say you forgive me; shake hands, and have done with it.”
“That I won’t. That I couldn’t. In fact, I don’t know what you mean.”
Then Rickie began a new appeal—not to pity, for now he was in no mood
to whimper. For all its pathos, there was something heroic in this
meeting. “I warn you to stop here with me, Stephen. No one else in the
world will look after you. As far as I know, you have never been really
unhappy yet or suffered, as you should do, from your faults. Last night
you nearly killed yourself with drink. Never mind why I’m willing to
cure you. I am willing, and I warn you to give me the chance. Forgive
me or not, as you choose. I care for other things more.”
Stephen looked at him at last, faintly approving. The offer was
ridiculous, but it did treat him as a man.
“Let me tell you of a fault of mine, and how I was punished for it,”
continued Rickie. “Two years ago I behaved badly to you, up at the
Rings. No, even a few days before that. We went for a ride, and I
thought too much of other matters, and did not try to understand you.
Then came the Rings, and in the evening, when you called up to me most
kindly, I never answered. But the ride was the beginning. Ever since
then I have taken the world at second-hand. I have bothered less and
less to look it in the face—until not only you, but every one else has
turned unreal. Never Ansell: he kept away, and somehow saved himself.
But every one else. Do you remember in one of Tony Failing’s books,
‘Cast bitter bread upon the waters, and after many days it really does
come back to you’? This had been true of my life; it will be equally
true of a drunkard’s, and I warn you to stop with me.”
“I can’t stop after that cheque,” said Stephen more gently. “But I do
remember the ride. I was a bit bored myself.”
Agnes, who had not been seeing to the breakfast, chose this moment to
call from the passage. “Of course he can’t stop,” she exclaimed. “For
better or worse, it’s settled. We’ve none of us altered since last
Sunday week.”
“There you’re right, Mrs. Elliot!” he shouted, starting out of the
temperate past. “We haven’t altered.” With a rare flash of insight he
turned on Rickie. “I see your game. You don’t care about _me_ drinking,
or to shake _my_ hand. It’s some one else you want to cure—as it were,
that old photograph. You talk to me, but all the time you look at the
photograph.” He snatched it up.
“I’ve my own ideas of good manners, and to look friends between the
eyes is one of them; and this”—he tore the photograph across “and
this”—he tore it again—“and these—” He flung the pieces at the man,
who had sunk into a chair. “For my part, I’m off.”
Then Rickie was heroic no longer. Turning round in his chair, he
covered his face. The man was right. He did not love him, even as he
had never hated him. In either passion he had degraded him to be a
symbol for the vanished past. The man was right, and would have been
lovable. He longed to be back riding over those windy fields, to be
back in those mystic circles, beneath pure sky. Then they could have
watched and helped and taught each other, until the word was a reality,
and the past not a torn photograph, but Demeter the goddess rejoicing
in the spring. Ah, if he had seized those high opportunities! For
they led to the highest of all, the symbolic moment, which, if a man
accepts, he has accepted life.
The voice of Agnes, which had lured him then (“For my sake,” she had
whispered), pealed over him now in triumph. Abruptly it broke into sobs
that had the effect of rain. He started up. The anger had died out of
Stephen’s face, not for a subtle reason but because here was a woman,
near him, and unhappy.
She tried to apologize, and brought on a fresh burst of tears.
Something had upset her. They heard her locking the door of her room.
From that moment their intercourse was changed.
“Why does she keep crying today?” mused Rickie, as if he spoke to some
mutual friend.
“I can make a guess,” said Stephen, and his heavy face flushed.
“Did you insult her?” he asked feebly.
“But who’s Gerald?”
Rickie raised his hand to his mouth.
“She looked at me as if she knew me, and then gasps ‘Gerald,’ and
started crying.”
“Gerald is the name of some one she once knew.”
“So I thought.” There was a long silence, in which they could hear a
piteous gulping cough. “Where is he now?” asked Stephen.
“Dead.”
“And then you—?”
Rickie nodded.
“Bad, this sort of thing.”
“I didn’t know of this particular thing. She acted as if she had
forgotten him. Perhaps she had, and you woke him up. There are queer
tricks in the world. She is overstrained. She has probably been
plotting ever since you burst in last night.”
“Against me?”
“Yes.”
Stephen stood irresolute. “I suppose you and she pulled together?” he
said at last.
“Get away from us, man! I mind losing you. Yet it’s as well you don’t
stop.”
“Oh, _that’s_ out of the question,” said Stephen, brushing his cap.
“If you’ve guessed anything, I’d be obliged if you didn’t mention it.
I’ve no right to ask, but I’d be obliged.”
He nodded, and walked slowly along the landing and down the stairs.
Rickie accompanied him, and even opened the front door. It was as if
Agnes had absorbed the passion out of both of them. The suburb was now
wrapped in a cloud, not of its own making. Sigh after sigh passed along
its streets to break against dripping walls. The school, the houses
were hidden, and all civilization seemed in abeyance. Only the simplest
sounds, the simplest desires emerged. They agreed that this weather was
strange after such a sunset.
“That’s a collie,” said Stephen, listening.
“I wish you’d have some breakfast before starting.”
“No food, thanks. But you know—” He paused. “It’s all been a muddle, and
I’ve no objection to your coming along with me.”
The cloud descended lower.
“Come with me as a man,” said Stephen, already out in the mist. “Not as
a brother; who cares what people did years back? We’re alive together,
and the rest is cant. Here am I, Rickie, and there are you, a fair
wreck. They’ve no use for you here,—never had any, if the truth was
known,—and they’ve only made you beastly. This house, so to speak, has
the rot. It’s common-sense that you should come.”
“Stephen, wait a minute. What do you mean?”
“Wait’s what we won’t do,” said Stephen at the gate.
“I must ask—”
He did wait for a minute, and sobs were heard, faint, hopeless,
vindictive. Then he trudged away, and Rickie soon lost his colour and
his form. But a voice persisted, saying, “Come, I do mean it. Come; I
will take care of you, I can manage you.”
The words were kind; yet it was not for their sake that Rickie plunged
into the impalpable cloud. In the voice he had found a surer guarantee.
Habits and sex may change with the new generation, features may alter
with the play of a private passion, but a voice is apart from these. It
lies nearer to the racial essence and perhaps to the divine; it can, at
all events, overleap one grave.
XXXII
Mr. Pembroke did not receive a clear account of what had happened when
he returned for the interval. His sister—he told her frankly—was
concealing something from him. She could make no reply. Had she gone
mad, she wondered. Hitherto she had pretended to love her husband. Why
choose such a moment for the truth?
“But I understand Rickie’s position,” he told her. “It is an unbalanced
position, yet I understand it; I noted its approach while he was
ill. He imagines himself his brother’s keeper. Therefore we must
make concessions. We must negotiate.” The negotiations were still
progressing in November, the month during which this story draws to its
close.
“I understand his position,” he then told her. “It is both weak and
defiant. He is still with those Ansells. Read this letter, which thanks
me for his little stories. We sent them last month, you remember—such
of them as we could find. It seems that he fills up his time by
writing: he has already written a book.”
She only gave him half her attention, for a beautiful wreath had just
arrived from the florist’s. She was taking it up to the cemetery: today
her child had been dead a year.
“On the other hand, he has altered his will. Fortunately, he cannot
alter much. But I fear that what is not settled on you, will go. Should
I read what I wrote on this point, and also my minutes of the interview
with old Mr. Ansell, and the copy of my correspondence with Stephen
Wonham?”
But her fly was announced. While he put the wreath in for her, she ran
for a moment upstairs. A few tears had come to her eyes. A scandalous
divorce would have been more bearable than this withdrawal. People
asked, “Why did her husband leave her?” and the answer came, “Oh,
nothing particular; he only couldn’t stand her; she lied and taught him
to lie; she kept him from the work that suited him, from his friends,
from his brother,—in a word, she tried to run him, which a man won’t
pardon.” A few tears; not many. To her, life never showed itself as a
classic drama, in which, by trying to advance our fortunes, we shatter
them. She had turned Stephen out of Wiltshire, and he fell like a
thunderbolt on Sawston and on herself. In trying to gain Mrs. Failing’s
money she had probably lost money which would have been her own. But
irony is a subtle teacher, and she was not the woman to learn from such
lessons as these. Her suffering was more direct. Three men had wronged
her; therefore she hated them, and, if she could, would do them harm.
“These negotiations are quite useless,” she told Herbert when she came
downstairs. “We had much better bide our time. Tell me just about
Stephen Wonham, though.”
He drew her into the study again. “Wonham is or was in Scotland,
learning to farm with connections of the Ansells: I believe the money
is to go towards setting him up. Apparently he is a hard worker. He
also drinks!”
She nodded and smiled. “More than he did?”
“My informant, Mr. Tilliard—oh, I ought not to have mentioned his
name. He is one of the better sort of Rickie’s Cambridge friends, and
has been dreadfully grieved at the collapse, but he does not want to
be mixed up in it. This autumn he was up in the Lowlands, close by,
and very kindly made a few unobtrusive inquiries for me. The man is
becoming an habitual drunkard.”
She smiled again. Stephen had evoked her secret, and she hated him more
for that than for anything else that he had done. The poise of his
shoulders that morning—it was no more—had recalled Gerald.
If only she had not been so tired! He had reminded her of the greatest
thing she had known, and to her cloudy mind this seemed degradation.
She had turned to him as to her lover; with a look, which a man of his
type understood, she had asked for his pity; for one terrible moment
she had desired to be held in his arms. Even Herbert was surprised when
she said, “I’m glad he drinks. I hope he’ll kill himself. A man like
that ought never to have been born.”
“Perhaps the sins of the parents are visited on the children,” said
Herbert, taking her to the carriage. “Yet it is not for us to decide.”
“I feel sure he will be punished. What right has he—” She broke off.
What right had he to our common humanity? It was a hard lesson for
any one to learn. For Agnes it was impossible. Stephen was illicit,
abnormal, worse than a man diseased. Yet she had turned to him: he had
drawn out the truth.
“My dear, don’t cry,” said her brother, drawing up the windows. “I have
great hopes of Mr. Tilliard—the Silts have written—Mrs. Failing will
do what she can—”
As she drove to the cemetery, her bitterness turned against Ansell,
who had kept her husband alive in the days after Stephen’s expulsion.
If he had not been there, Rickie would have renounced his mother and
his brother and all the outer world, troubling no one. The mystic,
inherent in him, would have prevailed. So Ansell himself had told her.
And Ansell, too, had sheltered the fugitives and given them money, and
saved them from the ludicrous checks that so often stop young men. But
when she reached the cemetery, and stood beside the tiny grave, all her
bitterness, all her hatred were turned against Rickie.
“But he’ll come back in the end,” she thought. “A wife has only to
wait. What are his friends beside me? They too will marry. I have only
to wait. His book, like all that he has done, will fail. His brother is
drinking himself away. Poor aimless Rickie! I have only to keep civil.
He will come back in the end.”
She had moved, and found herself close to the grave of Gerald. The
flowers she had planted after his death were dead, and she had not
liked to renew them. There lay the athlete, and his dust was as the
little child’s whom she had brought into the world with such hope, with
such pain.
XXXIII
That same day Rickie, feeling neither poor nor aimless, left the
Ansells’ for a night’s visit to Cadover. His aunt had invited him—why,
he could not think, nor could he think why he should refuse the
invitation. She could not annoy him now, and he was not vindictive.
In the dell near Madingley he had cried, “I hate no one,” in his
ignorance. Now, with full knowledge, he hated no one again. The weather
was pleasant, the county attractive, and he was ready for a little
change.
Maud and Stewart saw him off. Stephen, who was down for the holiday,
had been left with his chin on the luncheon table. He had wanted to
come also. Rickie pointed out that you cannot visit where you have
broken the windows. There was an argument—there generally was—and now
the young man had turned sulky.
“Let him do what he likes,” said Ansell. “He knows more than we do. He
knows everything.”
“Is he to get drunk?” Rickie asked.
“Most certainly.”
“And to go where he isn’t asked?”
Maud, though liking a little spirit in a man, declared this to be
impossible.
“Well, I wish you joy!” Rickie called, as the train moved away. “He
means mischief this evening. He told me piously that he felt it beating
up. Good-bye!”
“But we’ll wait for you to pass,” they cried. For the Salisbury train
always backed out of the station and then returned, and the Ansell
family, including Stewart, took an incredible pleasure in seeing it do
this.
The carriage was empty. Rickie settled himself down for his little
journey. First he looked at the coloured photographs. Then he read the
directions for obtaining luncheon-baskets, and felt the texture of
the cushions. Through the windows a signal-box interested him. Then
he saw the ugly little town that was now his home, and up its chief
street the Ansells’ memorable facade. The spirit of a genial comedy
dwelt there. It was so absurd, so kindly. The house was divided against
itself and yet stood. Metaphysics, commerce, social aspirations—all
lived together in harmony. Mr. Ansell had done much, but one was
tempted to believe in a more capricious power—the power that abstains
from “nipping.” “One nips or is nipped, and never knows beforehand,”
quoted Rickie, and opened the poems of Shelley, a man less foolish than
you supposed. How pleasant it was to read! If business worried him,
if Stephen was noisy or Ansell perverse, there still remained this
paradise of books. It seemed as if he had read nothing for two years.
Then the train stopped for the shunting, and he heard protests from
minor officials who were working on the line. They complained that some
one who didn’t ought to, had mounted on the footboard of the carriage.
Stephen’s face appeared, convulsed with laughter. With the action of a
swimmer he dived in through the open window, and fell comfortably on
Rickie’s luggage and Rickie. He declared it was the finest joke ever
known. Rickie was not so sure. “You’ll be run over next,” he said.
“What did you do that for?”
“I’m coming with you,” he giggled, rolling all that he could on to the
dusty floor.
“Now, Stephen, this is too bad. Get up. We went into the whole question
yesterday.”
“I know; and I settled we wouldn’t go into it again, spoiling my
holiday.”
“Well, it’s execrable taste.”
Now he was waving to the Ansells, and showing them a piece of soap: it
was all his luggage, and even that he abandoned, for he flung it at
Stewart’s lofty brow.
“I can’t think what you’ve done it for. You know how strongly I felt.”
Stephen replied that he should stop in the village; meet Rickie at the
lodge gates; that kind of thing.
“It’s execrable taste,” he repeated, trying to keep grave.
“Well, you did all you could,” he exclaimed with sudden sympathy.
“Leaving me talking to old Ansell, you might have thought you’d got
your way. I’ve as much taste as most chaps, but, hang it! your aunt
isn’t the German Emperor. She doesn’t own Wiltshire.”
“You ass!” sputtered Rickie, who had taken to laugh at nonsense again.
“No, she isn’t,” he repeated, blowing a kiss out of the window to
maidens. “Why, we started for Wiltshire on the wet morning!”
“When Stewart found us at Sawston railway station?” He smiled happily.
“I never thought we should pull through.”
“Well, we _didn’t_. We never did what we meant. It’s nonsense that I
couldn’t have managed you alone. I’ve a notion. Slip out after your
dinner this evening, and we’ll get thundering tight together.”
“I’ve a notion I won’t.”
“It’d do you no end of good. You’ll get to know people—shepherds,
carters—” He waved his arms vaguely, indicating democracy. “Then
you’ll sing.”
“And then?”
“Plop.”
“Precisely.”
“But I’ll catch you,” promised Stephen. “We shall carry you up the hill
to bed. In the morning you wake, have your row with old Em’ly, she
kicks you out, we meet—we’ll meet at the Rings!” He danced up and down
the carriage. Some one in the next carriage punched at the partition,
and when this happens, all lads with mettle know that they must punch
the partition back.
“Thank you. I’ve a notion I won’t,” said Rickie when the noise had
subsided—subsided for a moment only, for the following conversation
took place to an accompaniment of dust and bangs. “Except as regards
the Rings. We will meet there.”
“Then I’ll get tight by myself.”
“No, you won’t.”
“Yes, I will. I swore to do something special this evening. I feel like
it.”
“In that case, I get out at the next station.” He was laughing, but
quite determined. Stephen had grown too dictatorial of late. The
Ansells spoilt him. “It’s bad enough having you there at all. Having
you there drunk is impossible. I’d sooner not visit my aunt than think,
when I sat with her, that you’re down in the village teaching her
labourers to be as beastly as yourself. Go if you will. But not with
me.”
“Why shouldn’t I have a good time while I’m young, if I don’t harm any
one?” said Stephen defiantly.
“Need we discuss it again? Because you harm yourself.”
“Oh, I can stop myself any minute I choose. I just say ‘I won’t’ to you
or any other fool, and I don’t.”
Rickie knew that the boast was true. He continued, “There is also a
thing called Morality. You may learn in the Bible, and also from the
Greeks, that your body is a temple.”
“So you said in your longest letter.”
“Probably I wrote like a prig, for the reason that I have never been
tempted in this way; but surely it is wrong that your body should
escape you.”
“I don’t follow,” he retorted, punching.
“It isn’t right, even for a little time, to forget that you exist.”
“I suppose you’ve never been tempted to go to sleep?”
Just then the train passed through a coppice in which the grey
undergrowth looked no more alive than firewood. Yet every twig in it
was waiting for the spring. Rickie knew that the analogy was false, but
argument confused him, and he gave up this line of attack also.
“Do be more careful over life. If your body escapes you in one thing,
why not in more? A man will have other temptations.”
“You mean women,” said Stephen quietly, pausing for a moment in this
game. “But that’s absolutely different. That would be harming some one
else.”
“Is that the only thing that keeps you straight?”
“What else should?” And he looked not into Rickie, but past him, with
the wondering eyes of a child. Rickie nodded, and referred himself to
the window.
He observed that the country was smoother and more plastic. The woods
had gone, and under a pale-blue sky long contours of earth were
flowing, and merging, rising a little to bear some coronal of beeches,
parting a little to disclose some green valley, where cottages stood
under elms or beside translucent waters. It was Wiltshire at last.
The train had entered the chalk. At last it slackened at a wayside
platform. Without speaking he opened the door.
“What’s that for?”
“To go back.”
Stephen had forgotten the threat. He said that this was not playing the
game.
“Surely!”
“I can’t have you going back.”
“Promise to behave decently then.”
He was seized and pulled away from the door.
“We change at Salisbury,” he remarked. “There is an hour to wait. You
will find me troublesome.”
“It isn’t fair,” exploded Stephen. “It’s a lowdown trick. How can I let
you go back?”
“Promise, then.”
“Oh, yes, yes, yes. Y.M.C.A. But for this occasion only.”
“No, no. For the rest of your holiday.”
“Yes, yes. Very well. I promise.”
“For the rest of your life?”
Somehow it pleased him that Stephen should bang him crossly with his
elbow and say, “No. Get out. You’ve gone too far.” So had the train.
The porter at the end of the wayside platform slammed the door, and
they proceeded toward Salisbury through the slowly modulating downs.
Rickie pretended to read. Over the book he watched his brother’s face,
and wondered how bad temper could be consistent with a mind so radiant.
In spite of his obstinacy and conceit, Stephen was an easy person to
live with. He never fidgeted or nursed hidden grievances, or indulged
in a shoddy pride. Though he spent Rickie’s money as slowly as he
could, he asked for it without apology: “You must put it down against
me,” he would say. In time—it was still very vague—he would rent or
purchase a farm. There is no formula in which we may sum up decent
people. So Ansell had preached, and had of course proceeded to offer a
formula: “They must be serious, they must be truthful.” Serious not in
the sense of glum; but they must be convinced that our life is a state
of some importance, and our earth not a place to beat time on. Of so
much Stephen was convinced: he showed it in his work, in his play, in
his self-respect, and above all—though the fact is hard to face—in his
sacred passion for alcohol. Drink, today, is an unlovely thing. Between
us and the heights of Cithaeron the river of sin now flows. Yet the
cries still call from the mountain, and granted a man has responded to
them, it is better he respond with the candour of the Greek.
“I shall stop at the Thompsons’ now,” said the disappointed reveller.
“Prayers.”
Rickie did not press his triumph, but it was a happy moment, partly
because of the triumph, partly because he was sure that his brother
must care for him. Stephen was too selfish to give up any pleasure
without grave reasons. He was certain that he had been right to
disentangle himself from Sawston, and to ignore the threats and tears
that still tempted him to return. Here there was real work for him to
do. Moreover, though he sought no reward, it had come. His health was
better, his brain sound, his life washed clean, not by the waters of
sentiment, but by the efforts of a fellow-man. Stephen was man first,
brother afterwards. Herein lay his brutality and also his virtue. “Look
me in the face. Don’t hang on me clothes that don’t belong—as you did
on your wife, giving her saint’s robes, whereas she was simply a woman
of her own sort, who needed careful watching. Tear up the photographs.
Here am I, and there are you. The rest is cant.” The rest was not cant,
and perhaps Stephen would confess as much in time. But Rickie needed a
tonic, and a man, not a brother, must hold it to his lips.
“I see the old spire,” he called, and then added, “I don’t mind seeing
it again.”
“No one does, as far as I know. People have come from the other side of
the world to see it again.”
“Pious people. But I don’t hold with bishops.” He was young enough to
be uneasy. The cathedral, a fount of superstition, must find no place
in his life. At the age of twenty he had settled things.
“I’ve got my own philosophy,” he once told Ansell, “and I don’t care a
straw about yours.” Ansell’s mirth had annoyed him not a little. And
it was strange that one so settled should feel his heart leap up at
the sight of an old spire. “I regard it as a public building,” he told
Rickie, who agreed. “It’s useful, too, as a landmark.” His attitude
today was defensive. It was part of a subtle change that Rickie had
noted in him since his return from Scotland. His face gave hints of a
new maturity. “You can see the old spire from the Ridgeway,” he said,
suddenly laying a hand on Rickie’s knee, “before rain as clearly as any
telegraph post.”
“How far is the Ridgeway?”
“Seventeen miles.”
“Which direction?”
“North, naturally. North again from that you see Devizes, the vale of
Pewsey, and the other downs. Also towards Bath. It is something of a
view. You ought to get on the Ridgeway.”
“I shouldn’t have time for that.”
“Or Beacon Hill. Or let’s do Stonehenge.”
“If it’s fine, I suggest the Rings.”
“It will be fine.” Then he murmured the names of villages.
“I wish you could live here,” said Rickie kindly. “I believe you love
these particular acres more than the whole world.”
Stephen replied that this was not the case: he was only used to them.
He wished they were driving out, instead of waiting for the Cadchurch
train.
They had advanced into Salisbury, and the cathedral, a public building,
was grey against a tender sky. Rickie suggested that, while waiting for
the train, they should visit it. He spoke of the incomparable north
porch. “I’ve never been inside it, and I never will. Sorry to shock
you, Rickie, but I must tell you plainly. I’m an atheist. I don’t
believe in anything.”
“I do,” said Rickie.
“When a man dies, it’s as if he’s never been,” he asserted. The train
drew up in Salisbury station. Here a little incident took place which
caused them to alter their plans.
They found outside the station a trap driven by a small boy, who had
come in from Cadford to fetch some wire-netting. “That’ll do us,” said
Stephen, and called to the boy, “If I pay your railway-ticket back,
and if I give you sixpence as well, will you let us drive back in the
trap?” The boy said no. “It will be all right,” said Rickie. “I am Mrs.
Failing’s nephew.” The boy shook his head. “And you know Mr. Wonham?”
The boy couldn’t say he didn’t. “Then what’s your objection? Why? What
is it? Why not?” But Stephen leant against the time-tables and spoke of
other matters.
Presently the boy said, “Did you say you’d pay my railway-ticket back,
Mr. Wonham?”
“Yes,” said a bystander. “Didn’t you hear him?”
“I heard him right enough.”
Now Stephen laid his hand on the splash-board, saying, “What I want,
though, is this trap here of yours, see, to drive in back myself;”
and as he spoke the bystander followed him in canon, “What he wants,
though, is that there trap of yours, see, to drive hisself back in.”
“_I’ve_ no objection,” said the boy, as if deeply offended. For a time he
sat motionless, and then got down, remarking, “I won’t rob you of your
sixpence.”
“Silly little fool,” snapped Rickie, as they drove through the town.
Stephen looked surprised. “What’s wrong with the boy? He had to think
it over. No one had asked him to do such a thing before. Next time he’d
let us have the trap quick enough.”
“Not if he had driven in for a cabbage instead of wire-netting.”
“He never would drive in for a cabbage.”
Rickie shuffled his feet. But his irritation passed. He saw that the
little incident had been a quiet challenge to the civilization that
he had known. “Organize.” “Systematize.” “Fill up every moment,”
“Induce _esprit de corps_.” He reviewed the watchwords of the last two
years, and found that they ignored personal contest, personal truces,
personal love. By following them Sawston School had lost its quiet
usefulness and become a frothy sea, wherein plunged Dunwood House, that
unnecessary ship. Humbled, he turned to Stephen and said, “No, you’re
right. Nothing is wrong with the boy. He was honestly thinking it out.”
But Stephen had forgotten the incident, or else he was not inclined to
talk about it. His assertive fit was over.
The direct road from Salisbury to Cadover is extremely dull. The
city—which God intended to keep by the river; did she not move there,
being thirsty, in the reign of William Rufus?—the city had strayed out
of her own plain, climbed up her slopes, and tumbled over them in ugly
cataracts of brick. The cataracts are still short, and doubtless they
meet or create some commercial need. But instead of looking towards
the cathedral, as all the city should, they look outwards at a pagan
entrenchment, as the city should not. They neglect the poise of the
earth, and the sentiments she has decreed. They are the modern spirit.
Through them the road descends into an unobtrusive country where,
nevertheless, the power of the earth grows stronger. Streams do divide.
Distances do still exist. It is easier to know the men in your valley
than those who live in the next, across a waste of down. It is easier
to know men well. The country is not paradise, and can show the vices
that grieve a good man everywhere. But there is room in it, and leisure.
“I suppose,” said Rickie as the twilight fell, “this kind of thing
is going on all over England.” Perhaps he meant that towns are after
all excrescences, grey fluxions, where men, hurrying to find one
another, have lost themselves. But he got no response, and expected
none. Turning round in his seat, he watched the winter sun slide out
of a quiet sky. The horizon was primrose, and the earth against it
gave momentary hints of purple. All faded: no pageant would conclude
the gracious day, and when he turned eastward the night was already
established.
“Those verlands—” said Stephen, scarcely above his breath.
“What are verlands?”
He pointed at the dusk, and said, “Our name for a kind of field.” Then
he drove his whip into its socket, and seemed to swallow something.
Rickie, straining his eyes for verlands, could only see a tumbling
wilderness of brown.
“Are there many local words?”
“There have been.”
“I suppose they die out.”
The conversation turned curiously. In the tone of one who replies, he
said, “I expect that some time or other I shall marry.”
“I expect you will,” said Rickie, and wondered a little why the reply
seemed not abrupt. “Would we see the Rings in the daytime from here?”
“(We do see them.) But Mrs. Failing once said no decent woman would
have me.”
“Did you agree to that?”
“Drive a little, will you?”
The horse went slowly forward into the wilderness, that turned from
brown to black. Then a luminous glimmer surrounded them, and the air
grew cooler: the road was descending between parapets of chalk.
“But, Rickie, mightn’t I find a girl—naturally not refined—and be
happy with her in my own way? I would tell her straight I was nothing
much—faithful, of course, but that she should never have all my
thoughts. Out of no disrespect to her, but because all one’s thoughts
can’t belong to any single person.”
While he spoke even the road vanished, and invisible water came
gurgling through the wheel-spokes. The horse had chosen the ford. “You
can’t own people. At least a fellow can’t. It may be different for a
poet. (Let the horse drink.) And I want to marry some one, and don’t
yet know who she is, which a poet again will tell you is disgusting.
Does it disgust you? Being nothing much, surely I’d better go gently.
For it’s something rather outside that makes one marry, if you follow
me: not exactly oneself. (Don’t hurry the horse.) We want to marry, and
yet—I can’t explain. I fancy I’ll go wading: this is our stream.”
Romantic love is greater than this. There are men and women—we know it
from history—who have been born into the world for each other, and for
no one else, who have accomplished the longest journey locked in each
other’s arms. But romantic love is also the code of modern morals, and,
for this reason, popular. Eternal union, eternal ownership—these are
tempting baits for the average man. He swallows them, will not confess
his mistake, and—perhaps to cover it—cries “dirty cynic” at such a
man as Stephen.
Rickie watched the black earth unite to the black sky. But the sky
overhead grew clearer, and in it twinkled the Plough and the central
stars. He thought of his brother’s future and of his own past, and of
how much truth might lie in that antithesis of Ansell’s: “A man wants
to love mankind, a woman wants to love one man.” At all events, he and
his wife had illustrated it, and perhaps the conflict, so tragic in
their own case, was elsewhere the salt of the world. Meanwhile Stephen
called from the water for matches: there was some trick with paper
which Mr. Failing had showed him, and which he would show Rickie now,
instead of talking nonsense. Bending down, he illuminated the dimpled
surface of the ford. “Quite a current,” he said, and his face flickered
out in the darkness. “Yes, give me the loose paper, quick! Crumple it
into a ball.”
Rickie obeyed, though intent on the transfigured face. He believed
that a new spirit dwelt there, expelling the crudities of youth. He
saw steadier eyes, and the sign of manhood set like a bar of gold upon
steadier lips. Some faces are knit by beauty, or by intellect, or by a
great passion: had Stephen’s waited for the touch of the years?
But they played as boys who continued the nonsense of the railway
carriage. The paper caught fire from the match, and spread into a
rose of flame. “Now gently with me,” said Stephen, and they laid it
flower-like on the stream. Gravel and tremulous weeds leapt into sight,
and then the flower sailed into deep water, and up leapt the two arches
of a bridge. “It’ll strike!” they cried; “no, it won’t; it’s chosen the
left,” and one arch became a fairy tunnel, dropping diamonds. Then it
vanished for Rickie; but Stephen, who knelt in the water, declared that
it was still afloat, far through the arch, burning as if it would burn
forever.
XXXIV
The carriage that Mrs. Failing had sent to meet her nephew returned
from Cadchurch station empty. She was preparing for a solitary dinner
when he somehow arrived, full of apologies, but more sedate than she
had expected. She cut his explanations short. “Never mind how you got
here. You are here, and I am quite pleased to see you.” He changed his
clothes and they proceeded to the dining-room.
There was a bright fire, but the curtains were not drawn. Mr. Failing
had believed that windows with the night behind are more beautiful
than any pictures, and his widow had kept to the custom. It was brave
of her to persevere, lumps of chalk having come out of the night last
June. For some obscure reason—not so obscure to Rickie—she had
preserved them as mementoes of an episode. Seeing them in a row on the
mantelpiece, he expected that their first topic would be Stephen. But
they never mentioned him, though he was latent in all that they said.
It was of Mr. Failing that they spoke. The Essays had been a success.
She was really pleased. The book was brought in at her request, and
between the courses she read it aloud to her nephew, in her soft yet
unsympathetic voice. Then she sent for the press notices—after all no
one despises them—and read their comments on her introduction. She
wielded a graceful pen, was apt, adequate, suggestive, indispensable,
unnecessary. So the meal passed pleasantly away, for no one could so
well combine the formal with the unconventional, and it only seemed
charming when papers littered her stately table.
“My man wrote very nicely,” she observed. “Now, you read me something
out of him that you like. Read ‘The True Patriot.’”
He took the book and found: “Let us love one another. Let our children,
physical and spiritual, love one another. It is all that we can do.
Perhaps the earth will neglect our love. Perhaps she will confirm it,
and suffer some rallying-point, spire, mound, for the new generations
to cherish.”
“He wrote that when he was young. Later on he doubted whether we had
better love one another, or whether the earth will confirm anything. He
died a most unhappy man.”
He could not help saying, “Not knowing that the earth had confirmed
him.”
“Has she? It is quite possible. We meet so seldom in these days, she
and I. Do you see much of the earth?”
“A little.”
“Do you expect that she will confirm you?”
“It is quite possible.”
“Beware of her, Rickie, I think.”
“I think not.”
“Beware of her, surely. Going back to her really is going
back—throwing away the artificiality which (though you young people
won’t confess it) is the only good thing in life. Don’t pretend you are
simple. Once I pretended. Don’t pretend that you care for anything but
for clever talk such as this, and for books.”
“The talk,” said Leighton afterwards, “certainly was clever. But it
meant something, all the same.” He heard no more, for his mistress told
him to retire.
“And my nephew, this being so, make up your quarrel with your wife.”
She stretched out her hand to him with real feeling. “It is easier now
than it will be later. Poor lady, she has written to me foolishly and
often, but, on the whole, I side with her against you. She would grant
you all that you fought for—all the people, all the theories. I have
it, in her writing, that she will never interfere with your life again.”
“She cannot help interfering,” said Rickie, with his eyes on the black
windows. “She despises me. Besides, I do not love her.”
“I know, my dear. Nor she you. I am not being sentimental. I say
once more, beware of the earth. We are conventional people, and
conventions—if you will but see it—are majestic in their way, and
will claim us in the end. We do not live for great passions or for
great memories, or for anything great.”
He threw up his head. “We do.”
“Now listen to me. I am serious and friendly tonight, as you must have
observed. I have asked you here partly to amuse myself—you belong
to my March Past—but also to give you good advice. There has been a
volcano—a phenomenon which I too once greatly admired. The eruption
is over. Let the conventions do their work now, and clear the rubbish
away. My age is fifty-nine, and I tell you solemnly that the important
things in life are little things, and that people are not important at
all. Go back to your wife.”
He looked at her, and was filled with pity. He knew that he would never
be frightened of her again. Only because she was serious and friendly
did he trouble himself to reply. “There is one little fact I should
like to tell you, as confuting your theory. The idea of a story—a long
story—had been in my head for a year. As a dream to amuse myself—the
kind of amusement you would recommend for the future. I should have
had time to write it, but the people round me coloured my life, and so
it never seemed worth while. For the story is not likely to pay. Then
came the volcano. A few days after it was over I lay in bed looking out
upon a world of rubbish. Two men I know—one intellectual, the other
very much the reverse—burst into the room. They said, ‘What happened
to your short stories? They weren’t good, but where are they? Why have
you stopped writing? Why haven’t you been to Italy? You must write. You
must go. Because to write, to go, is you.’ Well, I have written, and
yesterday we sent the long story out on its rounds. The men do not like
it, for different reasons. But it mattered very much to them that I
should write it, and so it got written. As I told you, this is only one
fact; other facts, I trust, have happened in the last five months. But
I mention it to prove that people are important, and therefore, however
much it inconveniences my wife, I will not go back to her.”
“And Italy?” asked Mrs. Failing.
This question he avoided. Italy must wait. Now that he had the time, he
had not the money.
“Or what is the long story about, then?”
“About a man and a woman who meet and are happy.”
“Somewhat of a _tour de force_, I conclude.”
He frowned. “In literature we needn’t intrude our own limitations. I’m
not so silly as to think that all marriages turn out like mine. My
character is to blame for our catastrophe, not marriage.”
“My dear, I too have married; marriage is to blame.”
But here again he seemed to know better.
“Well,” she said, leaving the table and moving with her dessert to the
mantelpiece, “so you are abandoning marriage and taking to literature.
And are happy.”
“Yes.”
“Why?”
“Because, as we used to say at Cambridge, the cow is there. The world
is real again. This is a room, that a window, outside is the night—”
“Go on.”
He pointed to the floor. “The day is straight below, shining through
other windows into other rooms.”
“You are very odd,” she said after a pause, “and I do not like you at
all. There you sit, eating my biscuits, and all the time you know that
the earth is round. Who taught you? I am going to bed now, and all the
night, you tell me, you and I and the biscuits go plunging eastwards,
until we reach the sun. But breakfast will be at nine as usual.
Good-night.”
She rang the bell twice, and her maid came with her candle and her
walking-stick: it was her habit of late to go to her room as soon
as dinner was over, for she had no one to sit up with. Rickie was
impressed by her loneliness, and also by the mixture in her of insight
and obtuseness. She was so quick, so clear-headed, so imaginative even.
But all the same, she had forgotten what people were like. Finding life
dull, she had dropped lies into it, as a chemist drops a new element
into a solution, hoping that life would thereby sparkle or turn some
beautiful colour. She loved to mislead others, and in the end her
private view of false and true was obscured, and she misled herself.
How she must have enjoyed their errors over Stephen! But her own error
had been greater, inasmuch as it was spiritual entirely.
Leighton came in with some coffee. Feeling it unnecessary to light the
drawing-room lamp for one small young man, he persuaded Rickie to say
he preferred the dining-room. So Rickie sat down by the fire playing
with one of the lumps of chalk. His thoughts went back to the ford,
from which they had scarcely wandered. Still he heard the horse in the
dark drinking, still he saw the mystic rose, and the tunnel dropping
diamonds. He had driven away alone, believing the earth had confirmed
him. He stood behind things at last, and knew that conventions are not
majestic, and that they will not claim us in the end.
As he mused, the chalk slipped from his fingers, and fell on the
coffee-cup, which broke. The china, said Leighton, was expensive. He
believed it was impossible to match it now. Each cup was different.
It was a harlequin set. The saucer, without the cup, was therefore
useless. Would Mr. Elliot please explain to Mrs. Failing how it
happened.
Rickie promised he would explain.
He had left Stephen preparing to bathe, and had heard him working
up-stream like an animal, splashing in the shallows, breathing heavily
as he swam the pools; at times reeds snapped, or clods of earth were
pulled in. By the fire he remembered it was again November. “Should
you like a walk?” he asked Leighton, and told him who stopped in the
village tonight. Leighton was pleased. At nine o’clock the two young
men left the house, under a sky that was still only bright in the
zenith. “It will rain tomorrow,” Leighton said.
“My brother says, fine tomorrow.”
“Fine tomorrow,” Leighton echoed.
“Now which do you mean?” asked Rickie, laughing.
Since the plumes of the fir-trees touched over the drive, only a
very little light penetrated. It was clearer outside the lodge gate,
and bubbles of air, which seemed to have travelled from an immense
distance, broke gently and separately on his face. They paused on the
bridge. He asked whether the little fish and the bright green weeds
were here now as well as in the summer. The footman had not noticed.
Over the bridge they came to the cross-roads, of which one led to
Salisbury and the other up through the string of villages to the
railway station. The road in front was only the Roman road, the one
that went on to the downs. Turning to the left, they were in Cadford.
“He will be with the Thompsons,” said Rickie, looking up at dark eaves.
“Perhaps he’s in bed already.”
“Perhaps he will be at The Antelope.”
“No. Tonight he is with the Thompsons.”
“With the Thompsons.” After a dozen paces he said, “The Thompsons have
gone away.”
“Where? Why?”
“They were turned out by Mr. Wilbraham on account of our broken
windows.”
“Are you sure?”
“Five families were turned out.”
“That’s bad for Stephen,” said Rickie, after a pause. “He was looking
forward—oh, it’s monstrous in any case!”
“But the Thompsons have gone to London,” said Leighton. “Why, that
family—they say it’s been in the valley hundreds of years, and never
got beyond shepherding. To various parts of London.”
“Let us try The Antelope, then.”
“Let us try The Antelope.”
The inn lay up in the village. Rickie hastened his pace. This tyranny
was monstrous. Some men of the age of undergraduates had broken
windows, and therefore they and their families were to be ruined. The
fools who govern us find it easier to be severe. It saves them trouble
to say, “The innocent must suffer with the guilty.” It even gives
them a thrill of pride. Against all this wicked nonsense, against the
Wilbrahams and Pembrokes who try to rule our world Stephen would fight
till he died. Stephen was a hero. He was a law to himself, and rightly.
He was great enough to despise our small moralities. He was attaining
love. This evening Rickie caught Ansell’s enthusiasm, and felt it worth
while to sacrifice everything for such a man.
“The Antelope,” said Leighton. “Those lights under the greatest elm.”
“Would you please ask if he’s there, and if he’d come for a turn with
me. I don’t think I’ll go in.”
Leighton opened the door. They saw a little room, blue with
tobacco-smoke. Flanking the fire were deep settles hiding all but the
legs of the men who lounged in them. Between the settles stood a table,
covered with mugs and glasses. The scene was picturesque—fairer than
the cutglass palaces of the town.
“Oh yes, he’s there,” he called, and after a moment’s hesitation came
out.
“Would he come?”
“No. I shouldn’t say so,” replied Leighton, with a furtive glance. He
knew that Rickie was a milksop. “First night, you know, sir, among old
friends.”
“Yes, I know,” said Rickie. “But he might like a turn down the village.
It looks stuffy inside there, and poor fun probably to watch others
drinking.”
Leighton shut the door.
“What was that he called after you?”
“Oh, nothing. A man when he’s drunk—he says the worst he’s ever heard.
At least, so they say.”
“A man when he’s drunk?”
“Yes, Sir.”
“But Stephen isn’t drinking?”
“No, no.”
“He couldn’t be. If he broke a promise—I don’t pretend he’s a saint. I
don’t want him one. But it isn’t in him to break a promise.”
“Yes, sir; I understand.”
“In the train he promised me not to drink—nothing theatrical: just a
promise for these few days.”
“No, sir.” “‘No, sir,’” stamped Rickie. “‘Yes! no! yes!’ Can’t you
speak out? Is he drunk or isn’t he?”
Leighton, justly exasperated, cried, “He can’t stand, and I’ve told you
so again and again.”
“Stephen!” shouted Rickie, darting up the steps. Heat and the smell of
beer awaited him, and he spoke more furiously than he had intended. “Is
there any one here who’s sober?” he cried. The landlord looked over
the bar angrily, and asked him what he meant. He pointed to the deep
settles. “Inside there he’s drunk. Tell him he’s broken his word, and I
will not go with him to the Rings.”
“Very well. You won’t go with him to the Rings,” said the landlord,
stepping forward and slamming the door in his face.
In the room he was only angry, but out in the cool air he remembered
that Stephen was a law to himself. He had chosen to break his word, and
would break it again. Nothing else bound him. To yield to temptation is
not fatal for most of us. But it was the end of everything for a hero.
“He’s suddenly ruined!” he cried, not yet remembering himself. For a
little he stood by the elm-tree, clutching the ridges of its bark. Even
so would he wrestle tomorrow, and Stephen, imperturbable, reply, “My
body is my own.” Or worse still, he might wrestle with a pliant Stephen
who promised him glibly again. While he prayed for a miracle to convert
his brother, it struck him that he must pray for himself. For he, too,
was ruined.
“Why, what’s the matter?” asked Leighton. “Stephen’s only being with
friends. Mr. Elliot, sir, don’t break down. Nothing’s happened bad. No
one’s died yet, or even hurt themselves.” Ever kind, he took hold of
Rickie’s arm, and, pitying such a nervous fellow, set out with him for
home. The shoulders of Orion rose behind them over the topmost boughs
of the elm. From the bridge the whole constellation was visible, and
Rickie said, “May God receive me and pardon me for trusting the earth.”
“But, Mr. Elliot, what have you done that’s wrong?”
“Gone bankrupt, Leighton, for the second time. Pretended again that
people were real. May God have mercy on me!”
Leighton dropped his arm. Though he did not understand, a chill of
disgust passed over him, and he said, “I will go back to The Antelope.
I will help them put Stephen to bed.”
“Do. I will wait for you here.” Then he leant against the parapet and
prayed passionately, for he knew that the conventions would claim him
soon. God was beyond them, but ah, how far beyond, and to be reached
after what degradation! At the end of this childish detour his wife
awaited him, not less surely because she was only his wife in name. He
was too weak. Books and friends were not enough. Little by little she
would claim him and corrupt him and make him what he had been; and the
woman he loved would die out, in drunkenness, in debauchery, and her
strength would be dissipated by a man, her beauty defiled in a man. She
would not continue. That mystic rose and the face it illumined meant
nothing. The stream—he was above it now—meant nothing, though it
burst from the pure turf and ran for ever to the sea. The bather, the
shoulders of Orion—they all meant nothing, and were going nowhere. The
whole affair was a ridiculous dream.
Leighton returned, saying, “Haven’t you seen Stephen? They say he
followed us: he can still walk: I told you he wasn’t so bad.”
“I don’t think he passed me. Ought one to look?” He wandered a little
along the Roman road. Again nothing mattered. At the level-crossing he
leant on the gate to watch a slow goods train pass. In the glare of the
engine he saw that his brother had come this way, perhaps through some
sodden memory of the Rings, and now lay drunk over the rails. Wearily
he did a man’s duty. There was time to raise him up and push him into
safety. It is also a man’s duty to save his own life, and therefore
he tried. The train went over his knees. He died up in Cadover,
whispering, “You have been right,” to Mrs. Failing.
She wrote of him to Mrs. Lewin afterwards as “one who has failed in
all he undertook; one of the thousands whose dust returns to the dust,
accomplishing nothing in the interval. Agnes and I buried him to the
sound of our cracked bell, and pretended that he had once been alive.
The other, who was always honest, kept away.”
XXXV
From the window they looked over a sober valley, whose sides were
not too sloping to be ploughed, and whose trend was followed by a
grass-grown track. It was late on Sunday afternoon, and the valley was
deserted except for one labourer, who was coasting slowly downward on
a rosy bicycle. The air was very quiet. A jay screamed up in the woods
behind, but the ring-doves, who roost early, were already silent.
Since the window opened westward, the room was flooded with light, and
Stephen, finding it hot, was working in his shirtsleeves.
“You guarantee they’ll sell?” he asked, with a pen between his teeth.
He was tidying up a pile of manuscripts.
“I guarantee that the world will be the gainer,” said Mr. Pembroke,
now a clergyman, who sat beside him at the table with an expression of
refined disapproval on his face.
“I’d got the idea that the long story had its points, but that these
shorter things didn’t—what’s the word?”
“‘Convince’ is probably the word you want. But that type of criticism
is quite a thing of the past. Have you seen the illustrated American
edition?”
“I don’t remember.”
“Might I send you a copy? I think you ought to possess one.”
“Thank you.” His eye wandered. The bicycle had disappeared into
some trees, and thither, through a cloudless sky, the sun was also
descending.
“Is all quite plain?” said Mr. Pembroke. “Submit these ten stories to
the magazines, and make your own terms with the editors. Then—I have
your word for it—you will join forces with me; and the four stories in
my possession, together with yours, should make up a volume, which we
might well call ‘Pan Pipes.’”
“Are you sure ‘Pan Pipes’ haven’t been used up already?”
Mr. Pembroke clenched his teeth. He had been bearing with this sort of
thing for nearly an hour. “If that is the case, we can select another.
A title is easy to come by. But that is the idea it must suggest. The
stories, as I have twice explained to you, all centre round a Nature
theme. Pan, being the god of—”
“I know that,” said Stephen impatiently.
“—Being the god of—”
“All right. Let’s get furrard. I’ve learnt that.”
It was years since the schoolmaster had been interrupted, and he could
not stand it. “Very well,” he said. “I bow to your superior knowledge
of the classics. Let us proceed.”
“Oh yes—the introduction. There must be one. It was the introduction
with all those wrong details that sold the other book.”
“You overwhelm me. I never penned the memoir with that intention.”
“If you won’t do one, Mrs. Keynes must!”
“My sister leads a busy life. I could not ask her. I will do it myself
since you insist.”
“And the binding?”
“The binding,” said Mr. Pembroke coldly, “must really be left to the
discretion of the publisher. We cannot be concerned with such details.
Our task is purely literary.” His attention wandered. He began to
fidget, and finally bent down and looked under the table. “What have we
here?” he asked.
Stephen looked also, and for a moment they smiled at each other over
the prostrate figure of a child, who was cuddling Mr. Pembroke’s boots.
“She’s after the blacking,” he explained. “If we left her there, she’d
lick them brown.”
“Indeed. Is that so very safe?”
“It never did me any harm. Come up! Your tongue’s dirty.”
“Can I—” She was understood to ask whether she could clean her tongue
on a lollie.
“No, no!” said Mr. Pembroke. “Lollipops don’t clean little girls’
tongues.”
“Yes, they do,” he retorted. “But she won’t get one.” He lifted her on
his knee, and rasped her tongue with his handkerchief.
“Dear little thing,” said the visitor perfunctorily. The child began
to squall, and kicked her father in the stomach. Stephen regarded her
quietly. “You tried to hurt me,” he said. “Hurting doesn’t count.
Trying to hurt counts. Go and clean your tongue yourself. Get off my
knee.” Tears of another sort came into her eyes, but she obeyed him.
“How’s the great Bertie?” he asked.
“Thank you. My nephew is perfectly well. How came you to hear of his
existence?”
“Through the Silts, of course. It isn’t five miles to Cadover.”
Mr. Pembroke raised his eyes mournfully. “I cannot conceive how the
poor Silts go on in that great house. Whatever she intended, it could
not have been that. The house, the farm, the money,—everything down
to the personal articles that belong to Mr. Failing, and should have
reverted to his family!”
“It’s legal. Intestate succession.”
“I do not dispute it. But it is a lesson to one to make a will. Mrs.
Keynes and myself were electrified.”
“They’ll do there. They offered me the agency, but—” He looked down
the cultivated slopes. His manners were growing rough, for he saw few
gentlemen now, and he was either incoherent or else alarmingly direct.
“However, if Lawrie Silt’s a Cockney like his father, and if my next
is a boy and like me—” A shy beautiful look came into his eyes, and
passed unnoticed. “They’ll do,” he repeated. “They turned out Wilbraham
and built new cottages, and bridged the railway, and made other
necessary alterations.” There was a moment’s silence.
Mr. Pembroke took out his watch. “I wonder if I might have the trap? I
mustn’t miss my train, must I? It is good of you to have granted me an
interview. It is all quite plain?”
“Yes.”
“A case of half and half—division of profits.”
“Half and half?” said the young farmer slowly. “What do you take me
for? Half and half, when I provide ten of the stories and you only
four?”
“I—I—” stammered Mr. Pembroke.
“I consider you did me over the long story, and I’m damned if you do me
over the short ones!”
“Hush! if you please, hush!—if only for your little girl’s sake.”
He lifted a clerical palm.
“You did me,” his voice drove, “and all the thirty-nine Articles won’t
stop me saying so. That long story was meant to be mine. I got it
written. You’ve done me out of every penny it fetched. It’s dedicated
to me—flat out—and you even crossed out the dedication and tidied me
out of the introduction. Listen to me, Pembroke. You’ve done people
all your life—I think without knowing it, but that won’t comfort us.
A wretched devil at your school once wrote to me, and he’d been done.
Sham food, sham religion, sham straight talks—and when he broke down,
you said it was the world in miniature.” He snatched at him roughly.
“But I’ll show you the world.” He twisted him round like a baby, and
through the open door they saw only the quiet valley, but in it a
rivulet that would in time bring its waters to the sea. “Look even at
that—and up behind where the Plain begins and you get on the solid
chalk—think of us riding some night when you’re ordering your hot
bottle—that’s the world, and there’s no miniature world. There’s one
world, Pembroke, and you can’t tidy men out of it. They answer you back
do you hear?—they answer back if you do them. If you tell a man this
way that four sheep equal ten, he answers back you’re a liar.”
Mr. Pembroke was speechless, and—such is human nature—he chiefly
resented the allusion to the hot bottle; an unmanly luxury in which he
never indulged; contenting himself with nightsocks. “Enough—there is
no witness present—as you have doubtless observed.” But there was. For
a little voice cried, “Oh, mummy, they’re fighting—such fun—” and
feet went pattering up the stairs. “Enough. You talk of ‘doing,’ but
what about the money out of which you ‘did’ my sister? What about this
picture”—he pointed to a faded photograph of Stockholm—“which you
caused to be filched from the walls of my house? What about—enough!
Let us conclude this disheartening scene. You object to my terms. Name
yours. I shall accept them. It is futile to reason with one who is the
worse for drink.”
Stephen was quiet at once. “Steady on!” he said gently. “Steady on
in that direction. Take one-third for your four stories and the
introduction, and I will keep two-thirds for myself.” Then he went
to harness the horse, while Mr. Pembroke, watching his broad back,
desired to bury a knife in it. The desire passed, partly because it was
unclerical, partly because he had no knife, and partly because he soon
blurred over what had happened. To him all criticism was “rudeness”: he
never heeded it, for he never needed it: he was never wrong. All his
life he had ordered little human beings about, and now he was equally
magisterial to big ones: Stephen was a fifth-form lout whom, owing to
some flaw in the regulations, he could not send up to the headmaster to
be caned.
This attitude makes for tranquillity. Before long he felt merely an
injured martyr. His brain cleared. He stood deep in thought before the
only other picture that the bare room boasted—the Demeter of Cnidus.
Outside the sun was sinking, and its last rays fell upon the immortal
features and the shattered knees. Sweet-peas offered their fragrance,
and with it there entered those more mysterious scents that come from
no one flower or clod of earth, but from the whole bosom of evening.
He tried not to be cynical. But in his heart he could not regret that
tragedy, already half-forgotten, conventionalized, indistinct. Of
course death is a terrible thing. Yet death is merciful when it weeds
out a failure. If we look deep enough, it is all for the best. He
stared at the picture and nodded.
Stephen, who had met his visitor at the station, had intended to drive
him back there. But after their spurt of temper he sent him with
the boy. He remained in the doorway, glad that he was going to make
money, glad that he had been angry; while the glow of the clear sky
deepened, and the silence was perfected, and the scents of the night
grew stronger. Old vagrancies awoke, and he resolved that, dearly as he
loved his house, he would not enter it again till dawn. “Goodnight!”
he called, and then the child came running, and he whispered, “Quick,
then! Bring me a rug.” “Good-night,” he repeated, and a pleasant voice
called through an upper window, “Why good-night?” He did not answer
until the child was wrapped up in his arms.
“It is time that she learnt to sleep out,” he cried. “If you want me,
we’re out on the hillside, where I used to be.”
The voice protested, saying this and that.
“Stewart’s in the house,” said the man, “and it cannot matter, and I am
going anyway.”
“Stephen, I wish you wouldn’t. I wish you wouldn’t take her. Promise
you won’t say foolish things to her. Don’t—I wish you’d come up for a
minute—”
The child, whose face was laid against his, felt the muscles in it
harden.
“Don’t tell her foolish things about yourself—things that aren’t any
longer true. Don’t worry her with old dead dreadfulness. To please
me—don’t.”
“Just tonight I won’t, then.”
“Stevie, dear, please me more—don’t take her with you.”
At this he laughed impertinently. “I suppose I’m being kept in line,”
she called, and, though he could not see her, she stretched her arms
towards him. For a time he stood motionless, under her window, musing
on his happy tangible life. Then his breath quickened, and he wondered
why he was here, and why he should hold a warm child in his arms. “It’s
time we were starting,” he whispered, and showed the sky, whose orange
was already fading into green. “Wish everything goodnight.”
“Good-night, dear mummy,” she said sleepily. “Goodnight, dear house.
Good-night, you pictures—long picture—stone lady. I see you through
the window—your faces are pink.”
The twilight descended. He rested his lips on her hair, and carried
her, without speaking, until he reached the open down. He had often
slept here himself, alone, and on his wedding-night, and he knew that
the turf was dry, and that if you laid your face to it you would
smell the thyme. For a moment the earth aroused her, and she began to
chatter. “My prayers—” she said anxiously. He gave her one hand, and
she was asleep before her fingers had nestled in its palm. Their touch
made him pensive, and again he marvelled why he, the accident, was
here. He was alive and had created life. By whose authority? Though he
could not phrase it, he believed that he guided the future of our race,
and that, century after century, his thoughts and his passions would
triumph in England. The dead who had evoked him, the unborn whom he
would evoke—he governed the paths between them. By whose authority?
Out in the west lay Cadover and the fields of his earlier youth, and
over them descended the crescent moon. His eyes followed her decline,
and against her final radiance he saw, or thought he saw, the outline
of the Rings. He had always been grateful, as people who understood him
knew. But this evening his gratitude seemed a gift of small account.
The ear was deaf, and what thanks of his could reach it? The body was
dust, and in what ecstasy of his could it share? The spirit had fled,
in agony and loneliness, never to know that it bequeathed him salvation.
He filled his pipe, and then sat pressing the unlit tobacco with his
thumb. “What am I to do?” he thought. “Can he notice the things he gave
me? A parson would know. But what’s a man like me to do, who works all
his life out of doors?” As he wondered, the silence of the night was
broken. The whistle of Mr. Pembroke’s train came faintly, and a lurid
spot passed over the land—passed, and the silence returned. One thing
remained that a man of his sort might do. He bent down reverently and
saluted the child; to whom he had given the name of their mother.