CONSERVATORY CONSPIRATORS.
The next morning was bright, clear, crisp. Half-past nine was the hour
for breakfast. At that time all but Miss Osborne and Miss Gordon were
in the parlour. Presently Miss Osborne entered and said,--
'I have just been in with Miss Gordon; she will not come down to
breakfast. She is quite well, but a little tired; only tired.'
'I am sure,' said Mrs Osborne, 'she has been most unfortunate in her
first evening here. I am exceedingly sorry for what happened last
night. I will go up and see her myself.'
'She said, mother,' added Kate, 'that as she had got very little sleep
last night, she would now try and get some. She also said we were not
to put ourselves to the least inconvenience, and that no doubt she
should be down for luncheon.'
'I really don't know, George, what possessed you to keep the poor girl
in that conservatory so long. Even with the doors open, half-an-hour
is as long as I could stand the place.'
'I am exceedingly sorry, mother. I was very thoughtless, I admit. Kate
and Alice have often been in the place with the door shut for a much
longer time, and I never thought that she might not be able to bear
the place as well as they who are used to it. Kate, do you think a
doctor had better see her?'
'Oh no,' answered Kate. 'She will be quite well again as soon as she
has had a sleep.'
'Talking of the overwhelming smell of flowers reminds me,' broke in
Nevill, who saw the conversation bore heavily on George, 'I have to
thank the beautiful azalea-tree for my life. When I was once out West
with my dear old friend Cross-Poll after buffaloes the thing happened.
Cross-Poll was a most remarkable man. He was at least six feet high,
fifty-four inches around the chest, with limbs in proportion. I have
heard he could take a buffalo by the horns and swing the beast around
his head. But, Mrs Osborne, we must not believe all we hear on our
travels--'
'Nor, Mr Nevill,' said Alice, 'all we hear when we sit at home.'
'Nor, Miss Osborne, as you say, all we hear when we sit at home,
except when we have the word of a credible eye-witness. In this case I
would not dream of asking you to believe Cross-Poll caught a bull by
the horns and swung the beast around his head, for I did not see it,
and I make it a point never to accept as true wonders at second hand.
If a thing isn't good enough to happen in my presence, I am not going
to bother my friends or burden my memory with it. My theory is this: I
am, as men go, blessed with a good memory for remarkable facts--'
'And fictions,' added Alice, with a demure smile.
'You may call a thing a fiction, I don't. Well, my theory is: If there
is to be anything remarkable, and it does not go to the trouble of
calling me as a witness, I am not going to bother myself with making
out a report of the case. You, Osborne, remember Cross-Poll at
school?'
'I do not,' said George gravely, 'recollect a boy or man of that name
at any school I was at. He may have been at Rugby, and I forget his
name.' Osborne answered the question seriously.
Alice laughed.
'Don't you remember, George, when you were at school with Mr Nevill in
America?'
George smiled faintly.
'My dear Miss Alice Osborne, you are far too quick for a great
dunderheaded porpoise of stupidity like me. What I meant to say
was, that your brother must remember some of the recorded freaks of
Cross-Poll when he was a boy. You do not, I hope, accuse me,' he asked
sincerely, 'of implying for a moment that your brother and I were at
school together? Why, we never met until we saw one another at
Westpoint. When Cross-Poll was at school he was equally good at a
cock-shot and a hen-roost. He could smash a bottle with a stone at
forty yards, and rob a hen-roost howsoever well defended. From his
fame as a robber of hen-roosts he acquired the familiar nickname of
Chuck-chuck, which he took in good part. But any hint that he was
liable to be called Cockadoodle-do drove him to fury.
'One day the boys asked him to bring them a couple of dozen eggs
to play Blind Tom with. He was in a bad humour; hen-roosts were
getting very shy and wild by this time. The boys set up a cry of
"Cockadoodle-do!" His anger rose, and he went for the whole schoolful
of boys. Before he was tired or satisfied he gave up and bolted for
the West. That afternoon they filled the ward of the hospital out of
what he left behind him in that school, besides sending home ever so
many slight cases in wheelbarrows and trucks. Naturally after that
Cross-Poll could not stay in the town, so he set out for fresh woods
and pastures new.'
'But, Mr Nevill, I thought you were going to tell us how azaleas saved
your life once. How was that?'
'So I was. You must know I was once hunting in Mexico with Cross-Poll.
We had been very low in provisions for a few days, for although we had
seen many buffaloes, we had never been able to get within range. Not a
bird, beast, or fish could we get to eat. Cross-Poll had twice
suggested we should draw lots as to which of us should kill and eat
the other. But I would not hear of this. I said to him, "Cross-Poll,
old man, I could not think of casting lots with you. With any other
man I'm game. But I could not think of making game of you. I remember
how you handled that school. But Cross-Poll, old man, you are welcome
to make game of me. I always was a guy. I'll walk on before you, and,
comrade, when you want me, sound upon the bugle-horn." In other words,
old Cross-Poll, for I knew he was not like your brother, a student of
poetry, "in other words, knock me on the head." He caught my hand, and
I thought he'd wring it off as he said, "Son of the pale-face, never.
I'd eat railway-station pork-pie first."'
'You see, Miss Osborne, I knew my man. If we had cast lots and he won,
he'd have just let me gather some grass for my own funeral-pyre, and
then shot me. If he lost he'd have shot me instantly in self-defence.
In a few minutes after that we came upon water and a fine bull
drinking at it. He fired. The bull turned over. We built a fire, and
ate and drank until we were satisfied. As we lay back smoking our
pipes, Cross-Poll said to me, after a long pause--'
'But, Mr Nevill, how about the azaleas saving your life?'
'Ah, little Alice, the impatience of youth! I remember when I was your
age I was consumed by impatience. So impetuous was my curiosity, they
called me Who-What-When-Where-How, as though I was a gorgon, or a
bogie, or a giant in his castle.'
'Mr Nevill,' said Alice, with dignity, gathering her skirt close to
her, and drawing herself up to her full height as she rose from
breakfast, 'what age do you think I am? You treat me as if I was a
child.'
'Fourteen? fifteen? sixteen? seventeen? eighteen?--'
'Yes, quite eighteen.'
'Bless my soul! so you are. I never noticed it until now. I never
noticed before the crowsfeet, the puckers about the mouth, the feeble
gait, the dim eye, the trembling hand, the silver threads among the
gold: it isn't gold, by-the-way, but its nearly nicer than gold. Ah,
madam, you will pardon the levity of your most humble slave. If by the
sprightliness of your sallies and the vivacity of your air I have been
misled into treating you with a lightness unbecoming in me to one of
your age, forgive me. Permit me, revered madam, to lend you the
support of my arm.'
'Now, Mr Nevill, don't be too ridiculous.'
'Do not refuse my arm, my apology, and my offer of future homage.
Permit me to assist you to the conservatory, and while I am there
waiting for your granddaughter Kate to get ready for a stroll I'll
tell you all about the azaleas, and all about everything else I know,
except one thing.'
'And what is the one thing you will not tell me?'
'How much I like my Kate's grandmother.' They were now ascending the
stairs. 'If I spoke all day long, madam, I could not tell you that.
You must know, madam, my Kate has a dainty little sister, who is to be
my sister one of these days, and for whom I have the warmest possible
affection; and I want to talk to you, madam, about her and about her
brother George.'
They were now in the little conservatory.
'You see, madam,' he continued, 'George's mother is very uneasy about
George on religious subjects, and so is Marie, or anyway so she was.
Now last night, after we had all gone to our rooms, George came to
mine. We had a long chat, and George told me all.'
'Is "all" much?' the young girl asked apprehensively. 'I knew there
was something wrong. I did not know what, and now I do not know how
much. Tell me all about it.'
'Well, to be brief, George has been making a fool of himself over a
few scientific books, until he has got his head, which is not at all
suited to science any more than is yours, dear madam, into a muddle;
and he thinks no one can reconcile or understand things he can't
reconcile or understand; and he is unsettled in his mind about his
faith just now. All thoughtful men are at one time or another. It is
only women and asses who are quite sure of everything.'
'Mr Nevill, I will not stand and hear--'
'Excuse me, my dear madam, I completely forgot to offer you a chair.
You will have the goodness, my dear madam, to call me, for the future,
Bill.'
'I'll do nothing of the kind.'
'You will; you will, my dear madam, for if you don't, instead of
telling you about George, I'll tell you about the time I conducted a
travelling circus through the Antarctic Ocean.'
'I will not.'
'Well, you must know at that time I was under the impression that a
fortune was to be made out of performing sea-lions--'
'Please, please don't tell me about the circus now--'
'Bill.'
'Bill.'
'Thank you, madam. May I kiss your hand as a token of my devotion?'
'Yes, if you like; but tell me about George.'
'Now that, dear madam, I have sworn eternal friendship on that hand, I
can no longer call you dear madam. I will call you instead, Mistress
Alice--'
'Don't mind about me, but tell me about George.'
'Tell me about George, Bill.'
'Tell me about George--Bill.'
'Yes; it is a little complicated. It is easy to understand, but not
easy to work out to a satisfactory result. At the betrothal George
made Marie promise most solemnly she would never marry any man who did
not belong to the Church of England. After that those doubts I spoke
of arose in his mind, and he now owes allegiance to no particular form
of belief. When he found himself in this condition he explained
matters to Marie. He then thought her promise would bar her marriage
with him. She took another view, and said she would marry him still,
and that the promise did not apply to him.'
'I think so too.'
'Bill.'
'I think so too, Bill.'
'Thank you, Mistress Alice. I like you better the more I see of you.
Well, even now George was not satisfied; for, conscientiously
believing the girl to be bound by the letter and not the spirit of her
promise, he was loth to do anything which could seem to induce her to
break that promise.'
'But George always was over-scrupulous.'
'Yes; and is still. However, on his way down from London to this place
he changed his mind. He thought, like a sensible man, that his
religious feelings, beliefs, or doubts ought to have nothing to do
with his marrying or his subsequent treatment of a wife. He had been
greatly troubled, not only by the fear of asking Marie to break her
promise, but also by a terror of influencing prejudicially her faith:
for, he says, no matter what his present state of belief may be, he
would give all he has in the world to be back with the peaceful old
times he knew before he left Stratford.'
'I wish he had never left Stratford,' she cried petulantly.
'What, Mistress Alice! Here is ingratitude! Why, only for George's
going to London you would never have met _me!_ Mistress Alice, you
ought to be burned at the stake with green fagots.'
'I didn't mean that; I was thinking only of George.'
'Bill.'
'I was thinking only of George, Bill.'
'That's right. You shall call me dear Bill the day after to-morrow.
But to get forward: you may remember your mother showed Marie to her
room the day she came. Well, there and then she made Marie promise
never to fix a day for the wedding while George had any stupid
doubts.'
'Did she promise that?'
'Yes; for she was sure from George's manner in the train that all
these foolish notions had gone away for ever, whereas they had not.'
'But that was a promise somewhat like the other.'
'Bill.'
'Somewhat like the other, Bill.'
'Yes, it is somewhat like the other, but more binding. Now, George and
I had a long talk over the whole position last night. He is in a
dreadful state of mind. It was not the heat of this place made her
faint last night. He is so confused about all that happened here he
cannot remember what caused her to faint, but it must have been
something he said. Now, this won't do. We can't have George eating
away his heart, and Marie dying by inches.'
'But what can be done?'
'Bill.'
'But what can be done, dear Bill?'
'No. I won't have you so familiar all at once. You must not call me
"dear Bill" until the day after to-morrow, or I shall have to tell you
how it came to be I was called Bill by the Emperor of Morocco. You
must do just what you're told; no more, no less. Now I have made up my
mind to a few things; first, that there is no chance of George coming
round for a little while--a few months; second, that it would be a
crime to let those two hearts be wrecked for ever because of a belief
which went away yesterday and will come back to-morrow; and third,
that Mistress Alice is the person who can smooth away all the
difficulties.'
'I--I?'
'Yes, you. Kate is going out with me for a walk, when she comes down;
George has some business in the town, and Marie will not be down till
luncheon. Go you to your mother; you will know how to reason with her
better than I can tell you. Get her to withdraw that promise from
Marie, and all will be well. We will make two bridesmaids out of you
at the same time, and I'll give you a present of one of the Pharaohs
whom I dug up myself in Egypt, when I was commissioned by Ismail Pasha
to invent a new source for the Nile, and find out if it could not be
proved the so-called Lake M[oe]ris had not been a huge skating-rink
frozen by steam. I don't think I ever told you of that.'
'No. But I'll tell you what I would much rather hear. Why do you think
I, of all of you, could influence my mother?'
'Because she can have less reason for being reserved with you than
with any other of us. She cannot think you have any interest but the
happiness of George at heart. You see she, who has been for many years
so seldom out of her home-circle, must have a prejudice against
strangers like Marie and me, and she would naturally have a suspicion,
if Kate spoke, that it had been settled between Marie and me an
attempt should be made to overcome her scruples. But you are free, and
would have weight with her. You know, in my speaking to you thus, and
suggesting you should do what I have said, I can have no interest but
that in the happiness of George.'
'I am quite sure of that.'
'Well, then, you may urge her all you can. I would recommend you not
to go too directly at the subject. Approach it gently, and I think you
are sure to win.'
'I will do my best, and hope all may go well.'
'Hullo, here is Kate, Come on now, Kate. Alice, I wish you success.
Kate, just as you came in I was telling Alice all about my first
marriage, and about the beauty and amiability of the late Mrs Nevill.
She positively worshipped me. She had copper heaters made for my
slippers. These were filled with boiling water and thrust into my
slippers five minutes before I--'
Kate and Nevill had passed out of the drawing-room, and Alice could
hear no more.