(_After the model of most of the dailies, by our specially unreliable
news service._)
It is reported that, owing to the present high price of labour, a
German Zeppelin is to be loaned to the Government to carry out the
demolition of the nineteen unnecessary City churches.
* * * * *
Arrested on a charge of loitering with felonious intent, Thomas Wrott,
aged forty, of Featherleigh, Beds, stated that he was building a
house.
* * * * *
Though the titles of all the pictures in a recent Vorticist exhibition
were placed by a printer's error opposite to the wrong numbers in the
catalogue, none of the visitors discovered the mistake.
* * * * *
Strike action is threatened in Manchester by the Amalgamated Society
of Tyldesleys, several Lancashire wickets having been taken by
non-union labour.
* * * * *
It is reported that Lord FISHER was recently traversing _The Times_
with a belt of Biblical sentences when a cross-feed occurred, causing
the action to jam.
* * * * *
A silver salver is to be presented to the Royal Automobile Club in
token of gratitude by octogenarian villagers of Sussex.
* * * * *
"Experienced Cook-General Wanted; comfortable home; liberal
outings; wages L40; policeman handy."--_Welsh Paper._
Would it not have been more tactful to say, "Copper in kitchen"?
* * * * *
[Illustration:
_Disgusted Plutocrat_ (_to partner, who has just missed a fifty-pound
putt_). "COULDN'T YOU SEE THAT SLOPE AFTER I POINTED IT OUT TO YOU?"
_Partner._ "AFTER YOU'D DONE WAVING THOSE DIAMONDS ABOUT I COULDN'T
SEE ANYTHING."]
* * * * *