1. Not long ago a Presbyterian minister in Western New York whipped
his three-year-old boy to death for refusing to say his prayers. The
little fingers were broken; the tender flesh was bruised and actually
mangled; strong men wept when they looked on the lifeless body. Think
of a strong man from one hundred and fifty to two hundred pounds in
weight, pouncing upon a little child, like a Tiger upon a Lamb, and
with his strong arm inflicting physical blows on the delicate tissues
of a child's body. See its frail and trembling flesh quiver and its
tender nervous organization shaking with terror and fear.
2. How often is this the case in the punishment of children all over
this broad land! Death is not often the immediate consequence of this
brutality as in the above stated case, but the punishment is often as
unjust, and the physical constitution of children is often ruined and
the mind by fright seriously injured.
3. Everyone knows the sudden sense of pain, and sometimes dizziness
and nausea follow, as the results of an accidental hitting of the
ankle, knee or elbow against a hard substance, and involuntary tears
are brought to the eyes; but what is such a pain as this compared
with the pains of a dozen or more quick blows on the body of a little
helpless child from the strong arm of a parent in a passion? Add
to this overwhelming terror of fright, the strangulating effects
of sighing and shrieking, and you have a complete picture of
child-torture.
4. Who has not often seen a child receive, within an hour or two of
the first whipping, a second one, for some small ebullition of nervous
irritability, which was simply inevitable from its spent and worn
condition?
5. Would not all mankind cry out at the inhumanity of one who, as
things are to-day, should propose the substitution of pricking or
cutting or burning for whipping? It would, however, be easy to show
that small jabs or pricks or cuts are more human than the blows
many children receive. Why may not lying be as legitimately cured by
blisters made with hot coals as by black and blue spots made with
a ruler or whip? The principle is the same; and if the principle is
right, why not multiply methods?
6. How many loving mothers will, without any thought of cruelty,
inflict half a dozen quick blows on the little hand of her child and
when she could no more take a pin and make the same number of thrusts
into the tender flesh, than she could bind the baby on a rack. Yet
the pin-thrust would hurt far less, and would probably make a deeper
impression on the child's mind.
[Illustration]
7. We do not intend to be understood that a child must have everything
that it desires and every whim and wish to receive special recognition
by the parents. Children can soon be made to understand the necessity
of obedience, and punishment can easily be brought about by teaching
them self-denial. Deny them the use of a certain plaything, deny them
the privilege of visiting certain of their little friends, deny
them the privilege of the table, etc., and these self-denials can be
applied according to the age and condition of the child, with firmness
and without any yielding. Children will soon learn obedience if they
see the parents are sincere. Lessons of home government can be learned
by the children at home as well as they can learn lessons at school.
8. The trouble is, many parents need more government, more training
and more discipline than the little ones under their control.
9. Scores of times during the day a child is told in a short,
authoritative way to do or not to do certain little things, which we
ask at the hands of elder persons as favors. When we speak to an elder
person, we say, would you be so kind as to close the door, when the
same person making the request of a child will say, _"Shut the door."_
_"Bring me the chair."_ _"Stop that noise."_ _"Sit down there."_
Whereas, if the same kindness was used towards the child it would soon
learn to imitate the example.
10. On the other hand, let a child ask for anything without saying
"please," receive anything without saying "thank you," it suffers a
rebuke and a look of scorn at once. Often a child insists on having a
book, chair or apple to the inconveniencing of an elder, and what an
outcry is raised: "Such rudeness;" "Such an ill-mannered child;" "His
parents must have neglected him strangely." Not at all: The parents
may have been steadily telling him a great many times every day not
to do these precise things which you dislike. But they themselves have
been all the time doing those very things before him, and there is no
proverb that strikes a truer balance between two things than the old
one which weighs example over against precept.
11. It is a bad policy to be rude to children. A child will win and be
won, and in a long run the chances are that the child will have better
manners than its parents. Give them a good example and take pains in
teaching them lessons of obedience and propriety, and there will be
little difficulty in raising a family of beautiful and well-behaved
children.
12. Never correct a child in the presence of others; it is a rudeness
to the child that will soon destroy its self-respect. It is the way
criminals are made and should always and everywhere be condemned.
13. But there are no words to say what we are or what we deserve if we
do this to the little children whom we have dared for our own pleasure
to bring into the perils of this life, and whose whole future may be
blighted by the mistakes of our careless hands. There are thousands of
young men and women to-day groaning under the penalties and burdens
of life, who owe their misfortunes, their shipwreck and ruin to the
ignorance or indifference of parents.
14. Parents of course love their children, but with that love there is
a responsibility that cannot be shirked. The government and training
of children is a study that demands a parent's time and attention
often much more than the claims of business.
15. Parents, study the problems that come up every day in your home.
Remember, your future happiness, and the future welfare of your
children, depend upon it.
16. CRIMINALS AND HEREDITY. Wm. M.F. Round was for many years in
charge of the House of Refuge on Randall's Island, New York, and his
opportunities for observation in the work among criminals surely
make him a competent judge, and he says in his letter to the New York
Observer: "Among this large number of young offenders I can state
with entire confidence that not one per cent. were children born of
criminal parents; and with equal confidence I am able to say that the
common cause of their delinquency was found in bad parental training,
in bad companionship, and in lack of wholesome restraint from evil
associations and influences. It was this knowledge that led to the
establishing of the House of Refuge nearly three-quarters of a century
ago."
17. BAD TRAINING. Thus it is seen from one of the best authorities in
the United States that criminals are made either by the indifference
or the neglect of parents, or both, or by too much training without
proper judgment and knowledge. Give your children a good example, and
never tell a child to do something and then become indifferent as to
whether they do it or not. A child should never be told twice to do
the same thing. Teach the child in childhood obedience and never vary
from that rule. Do it kindly but firmly.
18. IF YOUR CHILDREN DO NOT OBEY OR RESPECT YOU in their childhood and
youth, how can you expect to govern them when older and shape their
character for future usefulness and good citizenship?
19. THE FUNDAMENTAL RULE. Never tell a child twice to do the same
thing. Command the respect of your children, and there will be no
question as to obedience.
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