1. "BE YE FRUITFUL AND MULTIPLY" is a Bible commandment which the
children of men habitually obey. However they may disagree on other
subjects, all are in accord on this; the barbarous, the civilized, the
high, the low, the fierce, the gentle--all unite in the desire which
finds its accomplishment in the reproduction of their kind. Who shall
quarrel with the Divinely implanted instinct, or declare it to be
vulgar or unmentionable? It is during the period of the honeymoon that
the intensity of this desire, coupled with the greatest curiosity, is
at its height, and the unbridled license often given the passions at
this time is attended with the most dangerous consequences.
2. CONSUMMATION OF MARRIAGE.--The first time that the husband and wife
cohabit together after the ceremony has been performed is called the
consummation of marriage. Many grave errors have been committed by
people in this, when one or both of the contracting parties were
not physically or sexually in a condition to carry out the marriage
relation. A marriage, however, is complete without this in the eyes
of the law, as it is a maxim taken from the Roman civil statutes that
consent, not cohabitation, is the binding element in the ceremony.
Yet, in most States of the U.S., and in some other countries, marriage
is legally declared void and of no effect where it is not possible to
consummate the marriage relation. A divorce may be obtained provided
the injured party begins the suit.
3. TEST OF VIRGINITY.--The consummation of marriage with a virgin is
not necessarily attended with a flow of blood, and the absence of this
sign is not the slightest presumption against her former chastity.
The true test of virginity is modesty void of any disagreeable
familiarity. A sincere Christian faith is one of the best
recommendations.
4. LET EVERY MAN REMEMBER that the legal right of marriage does not
carry with it the moral right to injure for life the loving companion
he has chosen. Ignorance may be the cause, but every man before
he marries should know something of the physiology and the laws of
health, and we here give some information which is of very great
importance to every newly-married man.
5. SENSUALITY.--Lust crucifies love. The young sensual husband is
generally at fault. Passion sways and the duty to bride and wife is
not thought of, and so a modest young wife is often actually forced
and assaulted by the unsympathetic haste of her husband. An amorous
man in that way soon destroys his own love, and thus is laid the
foundation for many difficulties that soon develop trouble and disturb
the happiness of both.
6. ABUSE AFTER MARRIAGE.--Usually marriage is consummated within a day
or two after the ceremony, but this is gross injustice to the bride.
In most cases she is nervous, timid, and exhausted by the duties of
preparation for the wedding, and in no way in a condition, either in
body or mind, for the vital change which the married relation bring
upon her. Many a young husband often lays the foundation of many
diseases of the womb and of the nervous system in gratifying his
unchecked passions without a proper regard for his wife's exhausted
condition.
7. THE FIRST CONJUGAL APPROACHES are usually painful to the new wife,
and no enjoyment to her follows. Great caution and kindness should
be exercised. A young couple rushing together in their animal passion
soon produce a nervous and irritating condition which ere long brings
apathy, indifference, if not dislike. True love and a high regard for
each other will temper passion into moderation.
8. WERE THE ABOVE INJUNCTIONS HEEDED fully and literally it would
be folly to say more, but this would be omitting all account of the
bridegroom's new position, the power of his passion, and the timidity
of the fair creature who is wondering what fate has in store for her
trembling modesty. To be sure, there are some women who are possessed
of more forward natures and stronger desires than others. In such
cases there may be less trouble.
9. A COMMON ERROR.--The young husband may have read in some treatise
on physiology that the hymen in a virgin is the great obstacle to be
overcome. He is apt to conclude that this is all, that some force will
be needed to break it down, and that therefore an amount of urgency
even to the degree of inflicting considerable pain is justifiable.
This is usually wrong. It rarely constitutes any obstruction and, even
when its rupturing may be necessary, it alone seldom causes suffering.
There are sometimes certain deformities of the vagina, but no woman
should knowingly seek matrimonial relations when thus afflicted.
We quote from Dr. C.A. Huff the following:
10. "WHAT IS IT, THEN, THAT USUALLY CAUSES distress to many women,
whether a bride or a long-time wife?" The answer is, Simply those
conditions of the organs in which they are not properly prepared, by
anticipation and desire, to receive a foreign body. The modest one
craves only refined and platonic love at first, and if husbands, new
and old, would only realize this plain truth, wife-torturing would
cease and the happiness of each one of all human pairs vastly
increase.
11. THE CONDITIONS OF THE FEMALE organs depend upon the state of the
mind just as much as in the case of the husband. The male, however,
being more sensual, is more quickly roused. She is far less often or
early ready. In its unexcited state the vagina is lax, its walls are
closed together, and their surfaces covered by but little lubricating
secretion. The chaster one of the pair has no desire that this sacred
vestibule to the great arcana of procreation shall be immediately and
roughly invaded. This, then, is the time for all approaches by
the husband to be of the most delicate, considerate, and refined
description possible. The quietest and softest demeanor, with gentle
and re-assuring words, are all that should be attempted at first. The
wedding day has probably been one of fatigue, and it is foolish to go
farther.
12. FOR MORE THAN ONE NIGHT it will be wise, indeed, if the wife's
confidence shall be as much wooed and won by patient, delicate, and
prolonged courting, as before the marriage engagement. How long should
this period of waiting be can only be decided by the circumstances of
any case. The bride will ultimately deny no favor which is sought with
full deference to her modesty, and in connection with which bestiality
is not exhibited. Her nature is that of delicacy; her affection is
of a refined character; if the love and conduct offered to her are a
careful effort to adapt roughness and strength to her refinement and
weakness, her admiration and responsive love will be excited to the
utmost.
13. WHEN THAT MOMENT ARRIVES when the bride finds she can repose
perfect confidence in the kindness of her husband, that his love is
not purely animal, and that no violence will be attempted, the power
of her affection for him will surely assert itself; the mind will
act on those organs which nature has endowed to fulfil the law of
her being, the walls of the vagina will expand, and the glands at
the entrance will be fully lubricated by a secretion of mucous which
renders congress a matter of comparative ease.
14. WHEN THIS RESPONSIVE ENLARGEMENT and lubrication are fully
realized, it is made plain why the haste and force so common to first
and subsequent coition, is, as it has been justly called, nothing but
"legalized rape." Young husband, Prove your manhood, not by yielding
to unbridled lust and cruelty, but by the exhibition of true power in
_self-control_ and patience with the helpless being confided to your
care. Prolong the delightful season of courting into and _through_
wedded life and rich shall be your reward.
15. A WANT OF DESIRE may often prevail, and may be caused by loss
of sleep, study, constant thought, mental disturbance, anxiety,
self-abuse, excessive use of tobacco or alcoholic drink, etc. Overwork
may cause debility; a man may not have an erection for months, yet it
may not be a sign of debility, sexual lethargy or impotence. Get the
mind and the physical constitution in proper condition, and most all
these difficulties will disappear. Good athletic exercise by walking,
riding, or playing croquet, or any other amusement, will greatly
improve the condition. A good rest, however, will be necessary to
fully restore the mind and the body, then the natural condition of the
sexual organs will be resumed.
16. HAVING TWINS.--Having twins is undoubtedly hereditary and
descends from generation to generation, and persons who have twins
are generally those who have great sexual vigor. It is generally the
result of a second cohabitation immediately following the first, but
some parents have twins who cohabit but once during several days.
17. PROPER INTERCOURSE.--The right relation of a newly-married couple
will rather increase than diminish love. To thus offer up the maiden
on the altar of love and affection only swells her flood of joy
and bliss; whereas, on the other hand, sensuality humbles, debases,
pollutes, and never elevates. Young husbands should wait for an
_invitation to the banquet_ and they will be amply paid by the very
pleasure sought. Invitation or permission delights, and possession by
force degrades. The right-minded bridegroom will postpone the exercise
of his nuptial rights for a few days, and allow his young wife to
become rested from the preparation and fatigue of the wedding, and
become accustomed to the changes in her new relations of life.
18. RIGHTLY BEGINNING SEXUAL LIFE.--Intercourse promotes all the
functions of the body and mind, but rampant just and sexual abuses
soon destroy the natural pleasures of intercourse, and unhappiness
will be the result. Remember that _intercourse_ should not become the
polluted purpose of marriage. To be sure, rational enjoyment benefits
and stimulates love, but the pleasure of each other's society,
standing together on all questions of mutual benefit, working hand in
hand and shoulder to shoulder in the battle of life, raising a family
of beautiful children, sharing each other's joys and sorrows, are
the things that bring to every couple the best, purest, and noblest
enjoyment that God has bestowed upon man.
[Illustration: A TURKISH HAREM.]
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