1. There are many fatal errors and many love-making failures in
courtship. Natural laws govern all nature and reduce all they govern
to eternal right; therefore love naturally, not artificially. Don't
love a somebody or a nobody simply because they have money.
2. COURT SCIENTIFICALLY.--If you court at all, court scientifically.
Bungle whatever else you will, but do no bungle courtship. A failure
in this may mean more than a loss of wealth or public honors; it may
mean ruin, or a life often worse than death. The world is full of
wretched and mismated people.
BEGIN RIGHT and all will be right; begin wrong and all will end wrong.
When you court, make a business of it and study your interest the same
as you would study any other business proposition.
3. DIVORCES.--There is not a divorce on our court records that is not
the result of some fundamental error in courtship. The purity or the
power of love may be corrupted the same as any other faculty, and when
a man makes up his mind to marry and shuts his eyes and grabs in the
dark for a companion, he dishonors the woman he captures and commits a
crime against God and society. In this enlightened age there should
be comparatively few mistakes made in the selection of a suitable
partner. Sufficient time should be taken to study each other's
character and disposition. Association will soon reveal adaptability.
4. FALSE LOVE.--Many a poor, blind and infatuated novice thinks he is
desperately in love, when there is not the least genuine affection in
his nature. It is all a momentary passion a sort of puppy love; his
vows and pledges are soon violated, and in wedlock he will become
indifferent and cold to his wife and children, and he will go through
life without ambition, encouragement or success. He will be a failure.
True love speaks for itself, and the casual observer can read its
proclamations. True love does not speak in a whisper, it always makes
itself heard. The follies of flirting develops into many unhappy
marriages, and blight many a life. Man happily married has superior
advantages both social and financially.
5. FLIRTING JUST FOR FUN.--Who is the flirt, what is his reputation,
motive, or character? Every young man and woman must have a
reputation; if it is not good it is bad, there is no middle ground.
Young people who are running in the streets after dark, boisterous
and noisy in their conversation, gossiping and giggling, flirting
with first one and then another, will soon settle their matrimonial
prospects among good society. Modesty is a priceless jewel. No
sensible young man with a future will marry a flirt.
6. THE ARCH-DECEIVER.--They who win the affection simply for their own
amusement are committing a great sin for which there is no adequate
punishment. How can you shipwreck the innocent life of that confiding
maiden, how can you forget her happy looks as she drank in your
expressions of love, how can you forget her melting eyes and glowing
cheeks, her tender tone reciprocating your pretended love? Remember
that God is infinitely just, and "the soul that sinneth shall surely
die." You may dash into business, seek pleasure in the club room, and
visit gambling hells, but "Thou art the man" will ever stare you in
the face. Her pale, sad cheeks, her hollow eyes will never cease to
haunt you. Men should promote happiness, and not cause misery. Let the
savage Indians torture captives to death by the slow flaming fagot,
but let civilized man respect the tenderness and love of confiding
women. Torturing the opposite sex is double-distilled barbarity. Young
men agonizing young ladies, is the cold-blooded cruelty of devils, not
men.
7. THE RULE TO FOLLOW.--Do not continually pay your attentions to the
same lady if you have no desire to win her affections. Occasionally
escorting her to church, concert, picnic, party, etc., is perfectly
proper; but to give her your special attention, and extend invitations
to her for all places of amusements where you care to attend, is an
implied promise that you prefer her company above all others, and she
has a right to believe that your attentions are serious.
[Illustration: THE WEDDING RING.]
8. EVERY GIRL SHOULD SEAL HER HEART against all manifested affections,
unless they are accompanied by a proposal. Woman's love is her all,
and her heart should be as flint until she finds one who is worthy
of her confidence. Young woman, never bestow your affections until
by some word or deed at least you are fully justified in recognizing
sincerity and faith in him who is paying you special attention. Better
not be engaged until twenty-two. You are then more competent to judge
the honesty and falsity of man. Nature has thrown a wall of maidenly
modesty around you. Preserve that and not let your affections be
trifled with while too young by any youthful flirt who is in search of
hearts to conquer.
9. FEMALE FLIRTATION.--The young man who loves a young woman has paid
her the highest compliment in the possession of man. Perpetrate
almost any sin, inflict any other torture, but spare him the agony of
disappointment. It is a crime that can never be forgiven, and a debt
that never can be paid.
10. LOYALTY.--Young persons with serious intentions, or those who are
engaged should be thoroughly loyal to each other. If they seek freedom
with others the flame of jealousy is likely to be kindled and love is
often turned to hatred, and the severest anger of the soul is
aroused. Loyalty, faithfulness, confidence, are the three jewels to be
cherished in courtship. Don't be a flirt.
11. KISSING, FONDLING, AND CARESSING BETWEEN LOVERS.--This should
never be tolerated under any circumstances, unless there is an
engagement to justify it, and then only in a sensible and limited
way. The girl who allows a young man the privilege of kissing her or
putting his arms around her waist before engagement will at once fall
in the estimation of the man she has thus gratified and desired to
please. Privileges always injure, but never benefit.
12. IMPROPER LIBERTIES DURING COURTSHIP KILL LOVE.--Any improper
liberties which are permitted by young ladies, whether engaged or
not, will change love into sensuality, and her affections will become
obnoxious, if not repellent. Men by nature love virtue, and for a life
companion naturally shun an amorous woman. Young folks, as you
love moral purity and virtue, never reciprocate love until you
have required the right of betrothal. Remember that those who are
thoroughly in love will respect the honor and virtue of each other.
The purity of woman is doubly attractive, and sensuality in her
becomes doubly offensive and repellent. It is contrary to the laws of
nature for a man to love a harlot.
13. A SEDUCER.--The punishment of the seducer is best given by O.S.
Fowler, in his "Creative Science." The sin and punishment rest on all
you who call out only to blight a trusting, innocent, loving virgin's
affections, and then discard her. You deserve to be horsewhipped by
her father, cowhided by her brothers, branded villain by her mother,
cursed by herself, and sent to the whipping-post and dungeon.
14. CAUTION.--A young lady should never encourage the attentions of
a young man, who shows no interest in his sisters. If a young man is
indifferent to his sisters he will become indifferent to his wife as
soon as the honey moon is over. There are few if any exceptions to
this rule. The brother who will not be kind and loving in his mother's
home will make a very poor husband.
15. THE OLD RULE: "Never marry a man that does not make his mother
a Christmas present every Christmas," is a good one. The young lady
makes no mistake in uniting her destinies with the man that loves his
mother and respects his sisters and brothers.
[Illustration]
[Illustration: A CHINESE BRIDE AND GROOM.]
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