1. EARLY MARRIAGES.--Women too early married always remain small in
stature, weak, pale, emaciated, and more or less miserable. We have
no natural nor moral right to perpetuate unhealthy constitutions,
therefore women should not marry too young and take upon themselves
the responsibility, by producing a weak and feeble generation of
children. It is better not to consummate a marriage until a full
development of body and mind has taken place. A young woman of
twenty-one to twenty-five, and a young man of twenty-three to
twenty-eight, are considered the right age in order to produce an
intelligent and healthy offspring. "First make the tree good, then
shall the fruit be good also."
2. If marriage is delayed too long in either sex, say from thirty
to forty-five, the offspring will often be puny and more liable to
insanity, idiocy, and other maladies.
3. PUBERTY.--This is the period when childhood passes from immaturity
of the sexual functions to maturity. Woman attains this state a year
or two sooner than man. In the hotter climates the period of puberty
is from twelve to fifteen years of age, while in cold climates,
such as Russia, the United States, and Canada, puberty is frequently
delayed until the seventeenth year.
4. DISEASED PARENTS.--We do the race a serious wrong in multiplying
the number of hereditary invalids. Whole families of children have
fallen heir to lives of misery and suffering by the indiscretion and
poor judgment of parents. No young man in the vigor of health
should think for a moment of marrying a girl who has the impress
of consumption or other disease already stamped upon her feeble
constitution. It only multiplies his own suffering, and brings no
material happiness to his invalid wife. On the other hand, no healthy,
vigorous young woman ought to unite her destiny with a man, no matter
how much she adored him, who is not healthy and able to brave the
hardships of life. If a young man or young woman with feeble body
cannot find permanent relief either by medicine or change of climate,
no thoughts of marriage should be entertained. Courting a patient may
be pleasant, but a hard thing in married life to enjoy. The young lady
who supposes that any young man wishes to marry her for the sake of
nursing her through life makes a very grave mistake.
[Illustration: LIFE INSURANCE COMPANIES DEMAND PHYSICAL EXAMINATION.
WHY NOT MATRIMONY?]
5. WHOM TO CHOOSE FOR A HUSBAND.--The choice of a husband requires the
coolest judgment and the most vigilant sagacity. A true union based on
organic law is happiness, but let all remember that oil and water
will not mix: the lion will not lie down with the lamb, nor can
ill-assorted marriages be productive of aught but discord.
"Let the woman take
An elder than herself, so wears she to him--
So sways she, rules in her husband's heart."
Look carefully at the disposition.--See that your intended Spouse is
kind-hearted, generous, and willing to respect the opinions of others,
though not in sympathy with them. Don't marry a selfish tyrant who
thinks only of himself.
6. BE CAREFUL.--Don't marry an intemperate man with a view of
reforming him. Thousands have tried it and failed. Misery, sorrow
and a very hell on earth have been the consequences of too many such
generous undertakings.
7. THE TRUE AND ONLY TEST which any man should look for in woman is
modesty in demeanor before marriage, absence both of assumed ignorance
and disagreeable familiarity, and a pure and religious frame of mind.
Where these are present, he need not doubt that he has a faithful and
a chaste wife.
8. MARRYING FIRST COUSINS is dangerous to offspring. The observation
is universal, the children of married first cousins are too often
idiots, insane, clump-footed, crippled, blind, or variously diseased.
First cousins are always sure to impart all the hereditary disease
in both families to their children. If both are healthy there is less
danger.
9. DO NOT CHOOSE ONE TOO GOOD, or too far above you, lest the inferior
dissatisfying the superior, breed those discords which are worse than
the trials of a single life. Don't be too particular; for you might go
farther and fare worse. As far as you yourself are faulty, you should
put up with faults. Don't cheat a consort by getting one much better
than you can give. We are not in heaven yet, and must put up with
their imperfections, and instead of grumbling at them, be glad they
are no worse; remembering that a faulty one is a great deal better
than none, if he loves you.
10. MARRYING FOR MONEY.--Those who seek only the society of those who
can boast of wealth will nine times out of ten suffer disappointment.
Wealth cannot manufacture true love nor money buy domestic happiness.
Marry because you love each other, and God will bless your home. A
cottage with a loving wife is worth more than a royal palace with a
discontented and unloving queen.
11. DIFFERENCE IN AGE.--It is generally admitted that the husband
should be a few years older than the wife. The question seems to
be how much difference. Up to twenty-two those who propose marriage
should be about the same age; however, other things being equal, a
difference of fifteen years after the younger is twenty-five, need
not prevent a marriage. A man of forty-five may marry a woman of
twenty-five much more safely than one of thirty a girl below nineteen,
because her mental sexuality is not as mature as his, and again her
natural coyness requires more delicate and affectionate treatment than
he is likely to bestow. A girl of twenty or under should seldom if
ever marry a man of thirty or over, because the love of an elderly man
for a girl is more parental than conjugal; while hers for him is like
that of a daughter to a father. He may pet, flatter and indulge her
as he would a grown-up daughter, yet all this is not genuine masculine
and feminine love, nor can she exert over him the influence every man
requires from his wife.
12. THE BEST TIME.--All things considered, we advise the male reader
to keep his desires in check till he is at least twenty-five, and the
female not to enter the pale of wedlock until she has attained the
age of twenty. After those periods, marriage is the proper sphere of
action, and one in which nearly every individual is called by nature
to play his proper part.
13. SELECT CAREFULLY.--While character, health, accomplishments and
social position should be considered, yet one must not overlook mental
construction and physical conformation. The rule always to be followed
in choosing a life partner is _identity of taste and diversity of
temperament_. Another essential is that they be physically adapted
to each other. For example: The pelvis--that part of the anatomy
containing all the internal organs of gestation--is not only essential
to beauty and symmetry, but is a matter of vital importance to her
who contemplates matrimony, and its usual consequences. Therefore, the
woman with a very narrow and contracted pelvis should never choose a
man of giant physical development lest they cannot duly realize the
most important of the enjoyments of the marriage state, while the
birth of large infants will impose upon her intense labor pains, or
even cost her her life.
[Illustration: EXPLAINING THE NEED OF A NEW HAT.]
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