[The _Review of Reviews_ has started a Baby and Matrimonial Exchange.]
WANTED IMMEDIATELY, a Complete Set of Ancestors, by Advertiser, who is
giving up Business and going in for High Finance. Crusaders or
Plantagenets Preferred, or County Family of not less than Three Hundred
Years Standing, on Approval. Guaranteed Pedigree Required. Will offer in
Exchange 100,000 £1 Consolidated Gold Mine Shares.--Address, "South
Africa," 507, Boom St.
I WILL GIVE UP All Rights in my Mother-in-Law in return for Second-hand
Safety Bicycle, or 10_s._ Cash.--ED., Angelina Villas.
A BOON TO TESTATORS!--What Offers? A Poor Relation is Willing to Adopt
Wealthy Old Lady (without encumbrance), having recently had a difference
with his Relatives. Will Gladly exchange Views on the subject with any
Benevolent and Elderly Gentlewoman.--"Legatee," c/o SMITHERS,
Tobacconist, Old Kent Road.
[Illustration]
CHANCE FOR PHILANTHROPISTS!--Absolutely Given Away!! After-season
Clearance. Professional Man wishes to part with the last of a large
assortment of Indigent Relatives. Excellent Opening for Capitalist.
Warranted a Steady and Reliable Applicant for Assistance. No Charitable
Old Maid should miss this Opportunity.--Address "Ratepayer," care of
SMITHERS, Tobacconist. O. K. Road.
TWINS!--TWINS!!--TWINS!!!--Do you Want a Pair of Twins, quite new, with
good strong voices and hearty appetites? They would appeal _to_ any
Mother's Heart. Must reduce establishment. Would hand over to any young
Married Couple with a Vacancy. Will take Fox-terrier or Prize
Bantam.--"Pater," Letter Box 8 W.
WILL ANYONE oblige me with a Third Cousin-Twice-Removed, as my
collection of specimens is incomplete? Have Half-step-sister-in-law
(very rare variety, and very little worn) to spare.--"G.," "Family Tree"
Inn, Hanwell.
GEORGE has a Smart and Good-looking Sister, whom he would be glad to
swap for some Other Fellow's Sister, of similar appearance. Best Man
also wanted.--Address, Bray House, Strand.
TO SELL OR EXCHANGE, a Job Lot of Uncles, mostly Wrong 'Uns. Would do
for Sandwich-Men or Supers. No cash offer refused.--"A Dutiful Nephew,"
1, Queer Street.
* * * * *
SOMETHING ATTRACTIVE IN A NAME.--Among the directors on the Board of the
Mount Torrens Gold Mining Co., Limited, occurs a delightful name which
we have not seen in real life since it first appeared in _Strapmore_
many years ago. It is "ALF PINTO"; the surname is "LEITE," and he is
"Director of the Miner's Dream Gold Mines, Limited,"--why limit a
"dream"? Is it not delightfully attractive? We trust "ALF PINTO" will
find plenty of _Whole Quartz O!_ and that the success of the "M. T. G.
M." may be the exact opposite of its two first initials, _i.e._, not "M.
T." but quite full, up to the brim.
* * * * *
CANADIAN COPYRIGHT.--_The Author_ says "the much-vexed question of
Canadian copyright has at length made some steps towards a settlement."
Mr. CAINE, who has sailed for Canada, as one of the "settlers," is equal
to "two single gentleman rolled into one," being certainly CAINE and,
most decidedly, Able.