_August 1st, 1903._[1]
I want to make myself worthy of the highest title, and that is a Child
of God. Have I not told you often that we were done with all personal
happiness?
Now life comes to demand that promise of me. I have said that nothing
could be too bitter or too hard for us, if it would but enable us to add
one little grain of sand to the building of that great structure, the
happiness of a people.
Now I have been tested--What am I worth?
Yesterday was again an exciting day for us. We received a communication
from the Department of Education, telling us if we did not wish to make
use of the opportunity granted us to be educated as teachers, to send a
statement accordingly in writing to the Governor General. How must the
statement which has been asked for, be worded? Briefly and to the point,
that I no longer wish to make use of the offered opportunity because I
am engaged to be married; or because now a still better opportunity has
presented itself to me of working for our people at the side of a noble
man, whom I respect, who loves the people with me, and who will ably
support me in my work. I shall be of much greater service with him, than
we two, as women standing alone, could ever be.
And Roekmini does not wish to take advantage of the opportunity, because
she may not, nor does she wish even if she could, to go alone. She will
reach her goal in a different way.
Then I wish to express my respect and gratitude to the Government for
having taken the interests of Java to heart, and because when a child of
the people asked for aid, it lent an ear to her request, and was willing
to meet her half way in her regard for the future welfare of her race.
Holland has now grown nearer to us. We are convinced now that the
Netherlands wishes the happiness of India; that is no hollow phrase; we
mean it.
* * * * *
All of my friends among my humble fellow countrymen have always wished
and prayed this for me, "That Bendora Adjeng Tini might go nowhere but
to a kaboepaten."
And the simple minded hearts rejoice now because their dream is to be
realized, they are happy because their wish for their Bendora is coming
true. You see how my simple friends triumph. "Vox populi vox dei." If
that is true then it is under the guidance of a higher power that my
path in life has taken a different direction from that which I myself
had planned.
"May you be a blessing, a refuge to many, the tree in whose shade they
find refuge from the heat of the day." That is what many old people here
pray for me. May I live up to the expectations of these who are simple
of heart.
A great task lies before me; unquestionably it is hard, but if I
succeed, and bring it to a good end, I shall serve our people as I could
never have served them in any other way. If my work is well done, it
will be a lesson that will have a powerful effect upon our cause,
because to my fellow countrymen my future will be the most beautiful and
desirable in the world.
The mere fact of my marriage will do good; it will interest the parents,
spur them on to educate their daughters, and impress them more than
could a thousand inspired words. It stands for a fact, that beauty and
riches are to be despised before gifts of the heart and mind.
I remember my own words, when some one asked me how the idea of
education could be impressed upon our women and girls. The Javanese
people are just like other children of nature: they are children of the
sun, worshippers of splendour and brilliancy. Very well, gratify that
wish, give them what their hearts desire, but at the same time give them
something that is true, that is of real worth.
Now we shall not infringe too harshly upon the customs of our land, our
childlike people can still have their pomp and splendour. The freedom of
women is inevitable; it is coming, but we cannot hasten it. The course
of destiny cannot be turned aside, but in the end the triumph has been
foreordained.
We shall not be living to see it, but what will that matter? We have
helped to break the path that leads to it, and that is a glorious
privilege!
Do not be uneasy; my betrothed will not cut my wings short; the fact
that I can fly is just what has raised me so high in his eyes. He will
only give a larger opportunity to stretch out my wings; he will help me
to broaden my field of work. He appreciates your Meiske for herself, and
not as a possible ornament for his home.
[1] To Mevrouw Abendanon.