_April 25th, 1903._[1]
It is stupid and unpardonable that we did not write to you as soon as
the great decision was made; that we were not to eat the fruit of the
noble work which you and others have done for us. No one could be more
surprised at this determination than we ourselves. We had been prepared
for anything, but we had never expected that we would say of our own
free will "We want to stay." But do not think of us, think of the cause
and what will be best for that; it is there we must rest our case.
Do not think that our feelings have changed, they have not. When our
request was on the way to the Governor General, we believed firmly that
for the sake of our future pupils, education in Europe was an absolute
necessity. But after that another truth was impressed upon us: "At this
time, it would be far better for the cause if we remained in India."
You know that it is our dearest wish to complete our educations in
Europe. Can you realize what it will cost us to give up the idea on the
very eve of its realization? We have been through a terrible struggle.
But we threw aside our own desires, when we found that the cause could
be served best in a different way. We saw this as soon as we ceased to
think of ourselves, but only of our cause.
The people for whom we wish to work, must learn to know us. If we went
away, we should become as strangers to them. And when after some years,
we came back, they would see in us only European women. If the people do
not like to trust their daughters to European women, how much less would
they be willing to trust them to those who were worse in their eyes,
Javanese turned European.
Our aim is our people; and if they should be set against us, of what
good would the help of the Government be? We ought to strike as quickly
as possible, and place before the public as an accomplished fact a
school for native girls. Just now they are talking about us, and we are
known over the whole of Java. We must strike while the iron is hot. If
we went away, interest would grow luke-warm and after a time dwindle
away altogether. Now we can make ourselves personally known to our
people. Seek to win their sympathy, teach them to trust us. If we had
their sympathy and their trust then we should be at peace.
We have not entirely given up the idea of going to Holland, Stella. We
could still go, always, and if we should go from Batavia, it would be
better than from here. Our parents would then be accustomed to having us
at a distance, and after they had once gotten used to the idea, it would
not be so hard for them, if the distance were made greater.
For us too that would have a good side. Consider this, we have never
been away from home, and if we were suddenly taken from our warm little
nest, from our own country, and placed in another environment far from
all who loved us, the change would be great.
But that is only a side issue. We knew that all along, and had never
seen anything against it. The main question is the danger to our
undertaking itself. We had never looked at the other side, from defiant
courage, or courageous defiance, call it what you will--carried away by
our enthusiasm, we thought little--or not at all--of the temper of the
public. Yes, we thought it to our credit to defy it, and to hold our own
ideas high against the world. Not disturbing ourselves one way or
another about its approbation, so long as we ourselves were convinced of
the holiness of our cause. We still think that is right, but in this
instance, we may not live up to our ideal. For now everything depends
for us upon the good will of the public. Always we wish to work for the
good of our people, and we must not set them against us by crushing with
relentless hands the ideas upon which they have thriven and grown old
through the centuries.
Patience, the wise have said to us all along. We heard them but did not
understand. Now we are beginning to understand. Stella, now we know that
the watchword of all reformers must be Patience. We cannot hasten the
course of events, we only retard them when we try to push forward too
hastily. If the public should be aroused against us, the whole cause
would be held back. People would be unwilling to give their daughters a
liberal education, for education would be held responsible for such
impossible creatures as we.
Patience! patience, even unto eternity. Stella, I was so miserable when
this truth penetrated at last. We must curb ourselves in our enthusiasm,
we will not pass our goal without seeing it. Mevrouw Van Kol wrote to
us, that before we can realize an ideal, we must first lose many
illusions. The first illusion that we have thrown aside is not to give
ourselves to the public frankly just as we are. No, that may not be. The
public must not know what we are really fighting--the name of the enemy
against which we take the field must never, never be cried aloud. It
is--polygamy. If that word were heard no man would trust his child to
us. I have struggled against this, it is as though we began our work
with a lie.
We hoped to make ourselves known just as we were, and that even so, from
conviction that we were right, parents would send their children to us.
It would be impossible.
We have not yet begun our work and yet we have seen our illusions
dwindle away one by one. Oh Stella, do not make the loss of this great
illusion harder to us by your sorrow. It is hard enough as it is. You
have always known that it was my dearest wish to go to your country and
to gather wisdom there for my own people. Let us never speak of it
again.
I thank you, in the name of my parents too, a thousand times for all
that you have done for us and--for nothing. No, Stella, your work is not
lost, the work of you all. Though we may make no use of its fruits now,
it will be of great good to our cause, attention will have been drawn to
it.
Before this, questions relating to the education of the Javanese people,
have always been brought up by those who had some interest of their own
at stake.
Now the interest is free from ulterior motive; would that have been the
case if you had not drawn the attention of the liberal to us? Would the
Government have been ready to help us if you had not worked for us? I
thank you a thousand times for your great love. In the name of my
people, I thank you sincerely. Great good will come of your work for the
Javanese. Be sure of that.
Our plan is, if our request is answered favourably, to go at once to
Batavia. Roekmini will study drawing, handiwork, hygiene and nursing. In
drawing, she will have lessons from the teacher at the Gymnasium, and
she will take the course in hygiene at the Dokter-Djawa School. I shall
take a normal course, continuing the same studies, with which I have
already been working here for several months.
[1] To Mejuffrouw Zeehandelaar.