On my answering in the affirmative, he went on, "But it will be
difficult for you later, when you come back. The greatest difficulty
lies in coming back to the old life."
"Why do you think that?"
He spoke frankly and openly and said, "It would be too difficult for
you, if later on, you should marry. After having lived in Holland you
would never be able to make yourself contented as the wife of a native
chief."
He instanced cases of well educated native girls their friends, who had
married Hollanders. They and their husbands were devoted to one another
but the Indian cannot be really happy amid European surroundings, and
the Hollander can never accustom himself to the Indian life, so there is
always an impassable gulf between husband and wife.
I let him finish quietly, before I brought my own ideas to the light of
day; "Mijnheer Van Kol, if I should go to Holland, my intention is to be
educated for a profession, that of teaching preferably, and when I come
back I plan to open an institute for the daughters of native chiefs. It
is to study that I wish to go there."
He looked at me in surprise; his blue eyes lighted up as though to
himself he said, "That is a fine idea--a very fine idea." Then to me,
"Do you not think it splendid to have an object in life?" There was so
much enthusiasm in his voice and in the expression of his eyes, that I
felt my heart grow warm, involuntarily my lips formed a word, a name
"Stella."
Stella, if I could only have you here, but then the earth would be too
small to hold my happiness. For that was happiness, that moment when I
saw that my plans were understood and respected too, by a superior man
like Van Kol. It was like the feeling that mothers must have when they
hear their children understood and praised.
He asked if I had talked with Mevrouw Rooseboom. No, I had never had the
opportunity; both times I had met her there had been a great company, a
ball or a dinner. They seemed to have spoken of us at the palace,
because Heer Van Kol told me as soon as he arrived that his Excellency
the Governor General had said that he knew me.
Annie Glazer goes on her vacation next month to Batavia and to
Buitenzorg. She will go for us to the Abendanons' and tell them all that
we have in our hearts; she will go too to our friends at Buitenzorg.
Could I but go with her!
What we have to do is to present a petition or something of the kind,
which Heer Van Kol will write for us from Batavia. The petition will set
forth our names, our ages and very briefly what we want to do. And to
make sure that he will remember us when he gets to Holland I have at his
instigation written to his wife and explained our plans to her.
He was delighted at Roekmini's idea of going to the Art Academy, and
also to know that she wished to go through the household school. For
indeed it appears that she has not enough talent to ever go very far in
her art. He shared our belief that a teacher of Domestic Science could
help our people very much. But he is anxious for her to be able to go to
the Academy for a few months before she starts on her domestic studies.
He thought it fine that we two should wish to work together and help
each other. He said many times over "I think it splendid for you two to
want to undertake so much."
I have talked to him about the idea of teaching hygiene and kindred
subjects in our schools, and let him understand that I should be glad to
take a course in hygiene and nursing, in order to teach them later. He
thought that a good idea too.
"In India you could not study that except under great difficulties; in
Europe it would be quite easy, there you would have everything under
your hand, and you could easily get through in a few years, as you speak
and write Dutch very well."
I told him of other reasons why we wished to sojourn for a time in
Europe. He sympathized with us there too. And he was one with us in the
belief that our ideas would be able to compel a larger following, that
we could spread them broadcast, if we worked under the protection of the
Government. The Javanese nation is like a great child that loves show
and display. It respects everything with which the all powerful
Government concerns itself.
We talked of the education, if such it may be called, of the daughters
of the nobles. Van Kol knows Regents' wives, and knows of their
monotonous dull lives.
It was time that something should be done for Javanese girls; he is the
last man with whom I should have to argue about the importance of
woman's place in society. He spoke of his own noble and highly gifted
wife with such love and respect. He called her his counsellor and his
guiding star.
It touched me deeply to hear this man making himself so small beside his
wife. He is small in body, but great in heart and soul. It was
delightful to be in his company.
I have been asked to put my ideas in writing in the form of a brochure
or letter to the Queen. It would do much good to our cause if she, who
is a woman herself, knows of the deep injustice that our women suffer.
But I must know what I am doing. As soon as I let my voice be heard, I
know that I shall bring down the anger and hate of many of the Javanese
men upon my head.
For myself personally I do not fear their hate or anger, but if I should
become a teacher I might have to stand before a class without scholars,
because no father would trust his children to me. I should have touched
the egoism of man.
I have received an answer to my question as to when a Mohammedan girl
comes of age. It is "A Mohammedan girl never comes of age. If she wishes
to be free, she would have to marry and after that be divorced." So we
shall have to declare ourselves of age, and compel the world to
recognize our independence.
You know that Van Kol came here with a journalist. He wrote a
description of the journey that he made with Van Kol, also the visit to
the kaboepaten is described, and something is told of our conversation
with Heer Van Kol. Now people will know whither we are going. I only
hope that making our ideas public will do good and not harm. For the
first time my name would come out openly in connection with my people. I
am proud of that Stella--to be named with the same breath with my
people.
* * * * *
Keep this portrait in memory of the triple bond. Poor clover leaf, it
was too beautiful, so it had to be pulled apart. It is the best portrait
that we have; it is good of all of us. It was made at Christmas time and
it is our last portrait, taken together as girls. The sight of the
little group makes me sorrowful. Three hearts grew together on one stem,
and now one of them has been torn away. Will the wound ever heal? It
still bleeds at the least touch.
Oh Stella, you do not know how we miss her. Everything reminds us of
her--speaks of her. We feel so old now; the past seems to lie behind us
like an eternity, and yet a half year has not gone by since she left us.
[1] To Mejuffrouw Zeehandelaar.