_November 20th, 1901._[1]
One should never promise anything, even when it depends entirely upon
oneself, because one can never tell beforehand what will happen. Never
mind how honestly the promise is made, and how earnestly one desires to
keep it, unforeseen circumstances may arise, which make its fulfillment
impossible. There is a belief among us Javanese, that those who break a
promise will be visited by a poisonous serpent. The serpent comes to
remind them of their promise, if they do not quickly fulfill it, they
will be visited by another more venomous serpent, whose bite is deadly.
If they delay longer, misfortune will surely overtake them. The serpent
only lives upon the promises of holy spirits, as the souls of the
righteous who are dead are nourished by flowers, perfume and incense.
The serpent is sent by the departed souls of the righteous to remind men
of their forgotten promises. But why do I tell you of our Javanese
beliefs? Forgive me, when there is so much besides that I want to tell
you.
I deserve a fine scolding for my long delay in writing; in large
measure, it was due to indolence. I am not satisfied with myself! What
makes me so lazy and restless? I do not understand it. I am not
definitely sick, but at the same time I am far from well. I am dull,
weary and uneasy; nonsense--hypochondria--there! I must seize hold of
myself; it is work that I need--work that my heart is in. And now comes
my stupidity; because I cannot work at that which I would, I turn with
distaste from all other forms of toil. That is weakness, I know. But I
could stand a whole avalanche of work better than these unbearable
trivialities with which my time is filled.
[1] To Mevrouw Abendanon.