_18 of August, 1899._[1]
Sincere thanks for your long letter, your cordial words warmed my heart.
Shall I not disappoint you upon a closer acquaintance? I have already
told you that I am very ignorant, that I know nothing. Compared to you I
feel myself sink into nothingness.
You are well informed about the Javanese titles. Before you mentioned
it, I had never given the matter a thought, that I am, as you say,
"highly born." Am I a princess? No more than you yourself are one. The
last prince of our house, from whom I am directly descended in the male
line, was, I believe, twenty-five generations back; but Mamma is closely
related to the princely house of Medeira; her great-grandfather was a
reigning prince, and her grandmother a princess. But we do not give a
two-pence for all that. To my mind there are only two kinds of
aristocracy, the aristocracy of the mind, and the aristocracy of the
soul--of those who are noble in spirit. I think there is nothing more
commonplace than those people who allow themselves to depend upon their
so called "high birth." What worth is there in simply being a count or
baron? I cannot see it with my little understanding.
Adel and Edel,[2] twin words with almost the same sound and which should
have the same meaning. Poor twins! How cruel life has been to you--it
has ruthlessly torn you asunder and holds you now so far apart. Once
noble, meant what the word signifies. Yes, then indeed it would have
been an honour to be "highly born." But now?--
I remember how embarrassed we were last year, when the ladies of the
Exposition for Woman's Work called us the "Princesses of Java."
In Holland they seem to think that everything which comes out of India
which is not a "baboe" or a "spada" must be a prince or a princess.
Europeans here in India seldom call us "Raden Adjeng," they address us
usually as "Freule."[3] I despair of its ever being different. I do not
know how many times I have said that we were not "Freules" and still
less princesses, but they have grown accustomed to the glamour and still
obstinately call us "Freule."
Not long ago a European who had heard much of us, came here and asked
our parents to be allowed the privilege of making the acquaintance of
the "princesses"; we were brought out and shown to him as though we had
been dolls; how stupid we felt!
"Regent," said he to our father, but quite distinctly before us--there
was much disappointment in his voice--"at the word--princess, I thought
of glittering garments, fantastic Oriental splendour, and your daughters
look so simple."
We could hardly suppress a smile when we heard him. Good Heavens! In his
innocence he had paid us the greatest possible compliment; you do not
know what a pleasure it was to us to find that our clothes were simple;
we had so often taken pains to put on nothing that would look
conspicuous or bizarre.
Dear Stella, I am heartily glad that I seem to you like your Dutch
friends, and that you find me congenial.
I have always been an enemy of formality. I am happy only when I can
throw the burden of Javanese etiquette from my shoulders. The
ceremonies, the little rules, that are instilled into our people are an
abomination to me. You could hardly imagine how heavily the burden of
etiquette presses upon a Javanese aristocratic household. But in our
household, we do not take all the formalities so literally.
We often dispense with ceremony and speak our own sentiments freely.
Javanese etiquette is both silly and terrible. Europeans who live years
in India, and who come in close contact with our native dignitaries,
cannot at all understand it unless they have made a special study of it.
In order to give you a faint idea of the oppressiveness of our
etiquette, I shall mention a few examples. A younger brother or sister
of mine may not pass me without bowing down to the ground and creeping
upon hands and knees. If a little sister is sitting on a chair, she must
instantly slip to the ground and remain with head bowed until I have
passed from her sight. If a younger brother or sister wishes to speak to
me, it must only be in high Javanese;[4] and after each sentence that
comes from their lips, they must make a sembah; that is, to put both
hands together, and bring the thumbs under the nose.
If my brothers and sisters speak to other people about me, they must
always use high Javanese in every sentence concerning me, my clothes, my
seat at the table, my hands and my feet, and everything that is mine.
They are forbidden to touch my honourable head without my high
permission, and they may not do it even then without first making a
sembah.
If food stands on the table, they must not touch the tiniest morsel till
it has pleased me to partake of that which I would (as much as I
desire). Should you speak against your superiors, do it softly, so that
only those who are near may hear. Oh, yes; one even trembles by rule in
a noble Javanese household. When a young lady laughs, she must not open
her mouth. (For Heaven's sake! I hear you exclaim). Yes, dear Stella,
you shall hear stranger things than these, if you wish to know
everything about us Javanese.
If a girl runs, she must do it decorously, with little mincing steps and
oh, so slowly, like a snail. To run just a little fast is to be a
hoyden.
Toward my older brothers and sisters I show every respect, and observe
all forms scrupulously. I do not wish to deny the good right of any one,
but the younger ones, beginning with me, are doing away with all
ceremony. Freedom, equality, and fraternity! For my little brothers and
sisters, toward me, and toward each other, are like free, equal
comrades. Between us, there is no stiffness--there is only friendship
and hearty affection. The sisters say "thee" and "thou" to me, and we
speak the same language. At first people smiled in amazement at the
free, untrammeled relationship between us brothers and sisters of
unequal ages. We were called children without any bringing up, and I was
a "koeda koree"[5] because I seldom walked sedately but went skipping
along. And they were further horrified because I often laughed aloud!
and allowed my teeth to show. But now that they see how affectionate and
sweet the relationship is between us, and that only the burdensome
etiquette has taken flight before our freedom, they admire the
harmonious union which binds us so closely together.
Thank you, dear Stella, for your charming compliment: I am as pleased as
a child. There is no danger of spoiling me by praise, or I should long
ago have been spoiled to death, both at home and by my friends and
acquaintances.
I thank you so much for the friendly thoughts which you have for us
Javanese. From you I did not expect anything else, but knew that you
would have the same feeling for all people, white or brown. From those
who are truly civilized and enlightened we have never experienced
anything but kindness. If a Javanese is ever so stupid, unlettered,
uncivilized, the power which governs him should see in him a fellow man,
whom God has created too; one who has a heart in his body, and a soul
full of sensitive feeling, although his countenance may remain
immovable, and not a glance betray his inward emotion.
At home, we speak Javanese with one another; Dutch only with Hollanders,
although now and then we use a little Dutch expression which has a shade
of meaning that cannot be translated, often it is to express some little
humorous point.
[1] To Mejuffrouw Zeehandelaar.
[2] As a noble deed.
[3] In Holland honourary title given to the daughter of a nobleman.
[4] Javanese is not one language but several, there is one language for
the aristocracy and another for the vulgar. A nobleman addresses an
inferior in the language of the common people Ngoko (2nd o: with ring
above, M.D.), but he is answered in high Javanese known as Krama.
Between the two there is a middle speech, Madja, used in familiar
intercourse between friends and equals besides Krama-inggil or court
speech. There is also the classical language Kawi nearly allied to
Sanskrit, in which the ancient literature of Java is written.
[5] Wild colt.