FAMILY LIFE
When our sons shall be as plants grown up in their youth,
And our daughters as corner-stones hewn after the fashion of a palace;
When our garners are full, affording all manner of store,
And our sheep bring forth thousands and ten thousands in our fields;
When our oxen are well laden;
When there is no breaking in, and no going forth,
And no outcry in our streets:
Happy is the people that is in such a case;
Yea, happy is the people whose God is Jehovah.
_Psalm 144: 12–15._
The above bit of ancient expression would describe the ideal of
happiness of a village people in Palestine to-day.
In a village there may be few or many tribes. In a village tribe there
may be scores of families. The tribe is a great family and goes by the
Arabic name _Dâr_ (court or house). In el-Bîreh, for instance, there are
four tribes among its eight hundred Moslems and one tribe of Christians
numbering less than a hundred. The Moslem tribes are _Dâr Ṭawîl_, _Dâr
Ḳurân_, _Dâr Hamayil_ and _Dâr ‛Abid_. The Christian tribe goes by the
name _Rafîdya_, because originally the members came from a village of
that name, near Nâblus. _Dâr Ṭawîl_ is by far the most influential and
supplies two of the three shaykhs of the village recognized by the
general government. The other shaykh comes from _Dâr Ḳurân_. These three
shaykhs are the intermediaries between the general government and the
village. Sometimes the tribe will become so large as to have subordinate
divisions within it. In Râm Allâh there are five original tribes, the
Ḥadadeh, the Dâr Ibrahîm, the Dâr Jurjus, the Ḥasâsineh and the Shaḳara.
But the tribe of Ḥadadeh is nearly the equal in numbers of the other
four, and has been divided into four sub-tribes, the Sharaḳa, the Dâr
Awâd, the Dâr Yûsuf and the Dâr Abu Jaghab. The result is that there are
practically eight tribes in the village. The four branches of the
Ḥadadeh feel a kinship and importance from their common source and
present size. The other four tribes go by the common designation of the
Hamayil.
Birth is the usual mode of entering a tribe, but outsiders are sometimes
admitted. A man from another part of Syria had occasion to live in one
of the large Christian villages of Palestine and wished to be counted as
a citizen there. He decided to join a certain tribe in that village. As
much as he was permitted, he fellowshipped with that tribe, went to
their guest-house occasionally and contributed to expenses by sharing in
their provision of food for visiting strangers and soldiers. He then had
the government at Jerusalem change his _kushan_ or paper of residence
and citizenship so that it should now declare him a resident of such and
such a village. When he had spoken to the elders of the tribe that he
sought to join, and they in turn to the members of the tribe, he was
admitted to membership with them by common consent. Thenceforth he paid
his military tribute through the chief men of this tribe. The elders
mentioned are the heads of families and are called the _ukhtiyarîyeh_.
They are the tribal chiefs and representatives.
Ordinarily friendship is confined to this tribal relationship, and
marriage is usually restricted to its limits. As an Arabic proverb
expresses it, “I am against my cousin, but my cousin and I are against
the world.” People outside this tribal family are strangers and possible
foes.[53] If, contrary to what they expect of outsiders, we should show
ourselves kindly disposed to them by continual helpful acts, very likely
they might set up a hypothetical relationship between themselves and us,
at least in conversation, in order to gloss over the anomaly.
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Closer yet is the relationship within the immediate family. As long as
the size of the family permits, it occupies the one house, or extensions
of it, but if it is prosperous and growing, new households are set up
and by such a process the tribe develops. Where friendship is
practically confined to the family and tribe the importance of family
membership and numerous family connections will be appreciated.[54] The
larger and more influential one’s family, the more secure are its
fortunes.[55] And influence depends on the number of the men.
A Moslem was killed and it was several months before his slayers were
detected and brought to punishment. The family of the deceased was large
and worked together to ferret out the secret. A smaller family might
never have been able to accomplish the object. Outsiders or the
government would have made no such persistent effort.[56]
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Marriages in the country are usually with some kindred family.[57]
Marrying outside one’s tribe is comparatively rare. Marriage is the one
important subject among parents of boys and girls. Girls are sometimes
married as early as seven years. They are betrothed at much tenderer
ages. A mother brought a little child in arms to one of the village
day-schools and urged its acceptance, doubtless to have relief from the
care of it for a part of the day. The child was a girl, and the teacher
of the girls’ school refused to take her, exclaiming, “Why, she’s a mere
baby. We cannot teach her to read now.” The mother argued and finally
said, “If you don’t take her now she will be betrothed soon.” The
introduction of school privileges into the country, for girls as well as
for boys, has resulted, in many cases, in lengthening the childhood of
those who otherwise would have been betrothed and married early in life.
Parents are generally unwilling to allow a younger daughter to be
married before an elder daughter.[58]
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A marriage settlement in money is expected from the bridegroom and paid
to the father of the bride. Parents often attempt to avoid cash payments
by an exchange of brothers and sisters. A family with a boy and a girl
make overtures to an eligible family having a girl and a boy, and the
young people are paired off at more advantageous terms all round than
would be the case if the families were strangers, that is, if they were
out of tribal relations with each other. Sometimes, of course, this
matter of exchange causes people of very different ages to be joined,
but then the years heal that, and the theory is that if the bride is
considerably younger than the groom the husband as he comes to old age
will have a comparatively strong and able housekeeper and caretaker in
his wife.
The usual wedding payment to the father of the bride is about two
hundred twenty-five dollars in this village. From this sum the father
may make his daughter such presents as he pleases of jewels and
head-coins. The wedding costume of the bride is the gift of the groom’s
family.
Where a widowed woman is remarried, the marriage portion paid her father
is less than in the case of a first marriage, and she is apt to receive
a larger share of it in presents from her father, since she cannot, in
this case, be made to marry except by her own consent.
To get the business of marriage settled at the earliest date and in the
most advantageous way possible is the aim of guardians and parents. The
wife will have done her part well if she bears children, mostly
boys,[59] sees that no unnecessary losses of money or food occur in the
house and holds her tongue. If she fails in any of these points she may
dim the felicities of the married state, that is, of her husband and his
father and brothers.
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[Illustration: BRINGING HOME THE BRIDAL TROUSSEAU]
[Illustration: GIRLS AT PLAY. CARRYING HEADLOADS OF GRASS IN IMITATION
OF THE WOMEN]
There are three occasions preceding the actual marriage of the man and
woman on which public celebration is made. The first is the engagement.
This is arranged between the fathers of the young people. The initiative
is taken by the father of the young man working through friends, who
approach the father of the girl and make a proposition of betrothal. If
all is favorable the bargain may be bound by money paid to the father of
the young woman. A betrothal party is arranged for friends of both the
contracting young people at the home of the prospective bride. The young
man prepares a feast for the invited guests, a sheep is killed, a priest
may be present and the betrothal made public. The agreement is but a
little less strong than the marriage contract itself.[60] The second
public manifestation is the purchase by the groom of the marriage outfit
of garments, including the bridal trousseau, and the procession that
carries the articles home. The bridegroom’s party goes to some large
near-by village or the nearest city for these purchases. One day we were
apprised of such a trousseau party by shouting and the firing of arms,
and later a procession of women went by on their way to their own
village, carrying with them the bundle of wedding garments. One of their
village chiefs was with them. At another time a group returning from
Jerusalem on a similar errand was met by a crowd of women on the
outskirts of the village and accompanied into it with singing and
dancing. This time the women had a stick dressed up with the bridal
costume. There was the red striped dress and gay jacket on a cross-stick
frame to hold out the sleeves. There were also a girdle, the heavy coin
head-dress and three small mirrors, one on each arm and one on the
breast. The Bethlehem costume is very commonly used for gala occasions
by people of other sections, as it is one of the showiest costumes of
the country. The bridegroom is expected to provide wedding garments for
relatives of the bride, though they in turn may be expected to return a
wedding gift of equal value to him. The third celebration may last two
or three days. Towards the close of it the wedding itself takes place.
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We went one Saturday evening to see the jollification that preceded a
wedding to be solemnized the next day. Outside the house of the groom
there were two lines of young men, their number varying from forty to
sixty as they shifted places, some dropping out and others falling into
line from time to time. These two lines were facing each other and a
bright brush fire was blazing in the middle. As more men crowded in to
participate a line was formed at one end, thus making a third side of a
parallelogram. The men on either side were singing back and forth to
each other, in antiphonal fashion, while they kept up a sort of swaying
dance in line called the _mil‛ab_. By pressing their shoulders, neighbor
to neighbor, the line moved as one mass. The left foot was made the base
of movement for each singer. The right foot was swayed and then lifted
high and forward until the whole body swung forward in a sweeping bow or
duck. The hands were also keeping time, rubbing up and down the forearms
from the elbows to the finger-tips, the head meanwhile swaying from side
to side, all to the native peasant singing of the same simple tune over
and over again. Certain fixed verses were made the basis and were
finished out with impromptu verses for the occasion. Some of these were,
“We are glad to see your faces.” “We have come to you; if it were not
for love we should not be here.” “Love is sweet.” “We hope for good
large dishes.” “Did you see any Bedawîn coming up from the East?” “Such
and such (naming them) villages will help you against the enemy.” “Fear
not, delicate young women, our young men will protect you,” and so on,
passing compliments, singing the praises of love and acknowledging its
power in bringing them together, or mingling snatches of war sentiment,
anticipation of generous servings of the wedding-feast and assurances of
alliance, friendship, defense and security in the strength and equipment
of their young men. The bridegroom mingled joyfully with the others,
sometimes performing in the line and sometimes replenishing the brush
fire. All around, on the roofs of the neighboring houses, in the
darkness that was black by contrast with the brilliant fire, the women
of the tribe were seated. Every now and then, at any seeming lull in the
excitement, some woman would set up the peculiar trilling cry called the
_zaghârût_ or _zaghârît_, at which the men would fairly leap into a
renewal of the dance and song. Pistols and muskets were shot off
occasionally. Although this was all taking place in a Christian village,
a good number of Moslem youths from a neighboring village came over to
join in the fun. They had brought two sheep which had been slaughtered
and were now simmering in immense kettles for a feast. The father of the
groom acted as an overseer of the gayeties and was trying, apparently,
to curb the zeal of those who had firearms to discharge.
On the wedding-day in a Christian village the bride and groom with their
attendant friends form two parties and approach the church from
different quarters. If obtainable, horses are provided for the bride and
groom to ride on and she is completely covered over with a mantle,[61] a
feather being stuck in the top of it over her head. Inside the church
the bridal party, consisting of groom, bride, best man, bridesmaid, the
mothers and some other relatives, stand in the middle of the church
facing the altar. The groom stands at the bride’s right hand; she is
heavily veiled. Guests and spectators, in the case of the wedding
mentioned above, filled the church on either side of the bridal party
and a large concourse filled the yard outside. Four priests and a censer
boy entered the church. Tapers were provided for those guests nearest
the young people, while candles were given to the bride and groom. These
were lighted. The censer was swung. The ritual, hymns and Scripture were
read or intoned, partly in Arabic and partly in Greek. The head priest,
who was a Greek by blood, read the Greek portions, while his assistants,
natives of the village, read the Arabic parts. Rings which had been
touched on the head and lips of bride and groom were placed on their
hands and afterwards changed about. Wreaths of artificial flowers were
placed on their heads. The book to which most respect had been shown,
the Bible, was brought down between them, dividing their joined fingers.
Then, headed by the priests, the bridal party marched around in a
circling course with all the attendant relatives. Some old women,
following closely behind the bride and groom, caught at their robes and,
joining them, went through the motions of sewing them with threadless
needles. After this the final pronouncement was made by the head priest
and the ceremony was over. Immediately the best man grabbed the groom in
a sort of ecstasy of congratulation and lifted him into the air twice,
and would have done so a third time had not the priest interfered,
probably thinking that these demonstrations were out of place in the
church. A gun was fired outside the church as soon as it was known that
the ceremony was complete. After some hearty felicitations the party
moved off in procession with priests and guests.
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[Illustration: WASHING A CHILD]
[Illustration: A SWADDLED INFANT]
The groom, with the men, went to the guest-room[62] of the tribe, where
they enjoyed conversation, coffee and cigarettes. The bride and her
party of women went to the home of the groom. As she was about to enter
the house a water-jar was placed on her head and her hand was assisted
to plaster a piece of bread-dough on the jamb of the doorway. These
signs were in token of good housewifely qualities. After the bride had
been seated for some time inside the house her women friends were
granted their entreaty and she allowed them to uncover her face. Then
she consented to exhibit her jewelry,[63] silver bracelets, bangles,
head-coins, ear-jewels, etc. She seemed very sad, as is expected when a
young girl leaves her mother, and quite exhausted. Her hands and nails
were stained with ḥennâ. It is said that the hands, wrists and lower
limbs are always stained thus on the night before the wedding. Outside
the house five kettles filled with mutton were set on stones over wood
fires. They were seething and bubbling, getting into readiness for the
wedding-feast in the evening.[64]
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At the guest-house assembly, where the groom and his men friends are
gathered, some one calls out the names of those who have given money
presents to the bridegroom and the amount in each case.
If there are reasons for a less public wedding celebration than usual,
the ceremony is performed on a week-day. Such is the case when some near
relative has died recently, where haste is desired, or where the man or
the woman has been married previously.
One Sunday we saw a double wedding celebration. But one was in the Greek
Orthodox Church and the other was in the United Greek Church, which is
papal in allegiance. The contracting families were so closely related as
to allow of but one of the marriages planned between them, according to
Greek Church law. But as each family had a son and daughter to marry off
to the daughter and son of the other family and considered their own
interests in the matter as of more importance than church law, one
bridal party was sent to one church and one to the other.
The party of one of the bridegrooms was provided with sword dancers, and
as they reached any open place of sufficient size, as at the street
corners, a space was cleared and a dancer with a short curved sword in
one hand and a waving cloth in the other, went through the graceful
movements, leaping and crouching.
AN INTRODUCTION TO A WEDDING-SONG
This bride is clothed with silk from Damascus:
Her hair is perfumed sweetly.
When the bridegroom goes to greet her,
Goes to press on her forehead the golden coin,[65]
He finds her as a fragrant branch;
Praise be unto God.
O comrades, when I saw her,
Three silver rings were on her little finger.
Foolish one! did I not tell thee “heed her”?
This good girl bears the key of relief.
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THE BRIDE’S GOOD-BYE TO HER FAMILY[66]
O mother mine, fill for me my pillows;
I left the house without a farewell to my friends.
O mother mine, fill them for me;
I left the house without a thought for my gospels.
O one possessed of rosy cheeks,
Thou’rt worth of gold a deal.
May God shield those who reared thee;
Never a day did’st thou go out alone.
O one possessed of rosy cheeks,
Thou’rt worth of gold a closet full.
May God shield those who trained thee;
Not a day didst thou go out angry.
Thou art a branch of willow, my daughter,
Thou art a branch of willow, thou.
On thy strands thou puttest the coins,
Dangling the coins from thy head.
Thou’rt a branch of riḥân,[67] O daughter,
A branch of riḥân art thou.
On the braids thou puttest silver dollars,
On the braids the coins, O thou!
Do not go from my house, my pet,
Thou who repairest my house in its borders.
Thou wentest forth from my house, O pet,
And there wast none other like thee.
Going out of the house of the good to the house of a prince,
Wearing anklets on her feet and dressed in a robe of silk.
Going from the house of the good to that of a prince,
Anklets on her feet and dressed in a silken robe.
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WHEN THE BRIDEGROOM TAKES PART IN THE PROCESSION[68]
Where is the bridegroom, where? Let us amuse him.
May he be preserved for us and long life to his brother.
The procession went along; in front was dancing.
O prince, with gold are the guns of the youths glistening.
Going down to the procession like a prince;
I wish thee in the prophet’s keeping.
O mounted bridegroom, no one is like thee to me.
Thou art as a ring of silver placed on my breast.
O bridegroom, riding, as an apple art thou;
Go to thine own before I snatch thee as the wind.
O bridegroom, riding, as a lemon art thou;
Go to thine own before I snatch thee with my eyes.
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SONG BEFORE THE BRIDEGROOM[69]
Be happy, cousin, at sight of thee fled my trouble;
Be happy, owner of the ṭarbûsh, be jealous of our wealth.
Be happy, thou with the ample drawers, and jealous of our gold.
“O uncle,” said Ghâlyeh, the costly bride,
“I’ll marry none but the Bedawy with his tilted head-dress;
The one who at noonday threshes in the face of the Arabs.”[70]
Cut and be cut, O pomegranate, the water flows in the orchard.
She came to the garden which is full of pomegranates.
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SONG BEFORE THE BRIDE[71]
Come out, O pet, O jewel mine, costly;
Tell us the precious price thy father asked.
We have walked from country to country
And we have found maidens costly.
We have asked for the girl from her father,
Her father who is as rich as Aleppo.
We have walked from street to street,
And have found many who were daughters of princes.
Ride on, O daughter of the Ḥadâdîyeh,[72]
Thy worth in gold is two hundred hundred.
Tighten the saddle for her, O father, tighten it;
Count out to her a hundred quarter riyals.
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THE VOICES OF THE WOMEN IN HIGH TONES CALLING
OUT ABOUT THE BRIDE[73]
Bend gracefully from side to side,
O thou who bendest as a palm in the mountains.
Thou art not bad to lower thy value,
But thou art like the well-bred horses, perfect.
Put thy sleeve over thy mouth, thou beauty, like thy mother;
The man is thy uncle, he will make and enlarge thy sleeve.
Thy garment, O choice one, two did cut it,
And more than a fortnight did seven tailors make it.
If love were not like fleet horses,
Love and I should be separated as day from night.
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WHEN THE BRIDE ENTERS THE HOUSE OF THE GROOM[74]
Sprinkle the cushions with roses and ḥennâ;
Let the bridegroom rejoice and be refreshed.
Sprinkle the cushions with roses and perfume;
Let the bridegroom sit on the cushion with his dear one.
O pair of gazels, how you are marked with ḥennâ!
May you two rejoice each other.
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By marriage the wife becomes a member of her husband’s family. She
assists her mother-in-law in the household duties. One of the reasons
given for some of the very early marriages is that the young woman may
be trained into a suitable wife for the son by his mother.
It is counted an affliction[75] if the new wife is not a mother in due
time, and it is a joyous occasion when a male child is born. There are
many parents who love their girl babies tenderly, but they are almost
sure to be partial to boys, and the majority of parents are greatly
disappointed if boys do not make up the larger part of the children.
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One day I stumbled into a house where an anomalous condition of things
existed for a Christian village. On coming away I learned that the man
was a bigamist. He was reputed to have become rich through thieving, and
his fine house was childless. What did he do but bring home another
wife! The laws of his country were not against such a practise, but the
law of his church, with the sentiment and practise of his fellow
villagers, was sternly against it. He defied all, even though he was cut
off from communion. He became an object of reproach and abhorrence to
the pious and the superstitious of the whole village, who looked for
terrible consequences. A long time afterwards, some mention of this man
having occurred in conversation, I learned that he was without any
children by his second wife also, and that his childlessness was
considered by the villagers as a token of the wrath of God. Although
rich, his lot was considered miserable by the neighbors. He was said to
be worth about fifteen thousand dollars. He was accused of having made a
business of stealing wedding finery from festive and sleepy bridal
parties.
Disappointed lovers are not unknown among the peasantry. One young man
of a prominent family fell in love with the daughter of the owner of a
fig orchard next to his father’s orchard. For some reason, possibly the
fact that they belonged to different tribes (though of the same
village), the father of the girl was unwilling that these two young
people should marry each other. He gave his daughter in marriage to
another youth, a member of her own tribe. The disappointed young man has
never been consoled, refuses to marry any other or even to enter into
the social affairs of his own family. He lives, a recluse, at some
distance from his village in one of the valleys. The villagers think
that in time he may become a priest.
Boyhood and girlhood are shorter in Palestine than in America, but often
merry. Stories illustrating the preference for boys among Oriental
parents are plentiful, but no one who examines the society of the Orient
will fail to find that it could not well be otherwise without very great
changes. Boys increase the size, force, wealth and importance of the
family. When they marry they bring home their wives and the children
perpetuate the house of the father. Should the husband die, the wife and
her boy children may be assisted by her husband’s relatives, the boys
certainly. Should the mother of the boys marry again, the boys go from
her to be brought up by her former husband’s family. Boys increase the
house, girls decrease it. The earnings of the father and the sons go to
provide a substantial family dwelling and to defend the house against
adverse circumstances. Girls are sure to marry and, although they bring
in a money payment to their fathers, yet in every other respect they are
a disadvantage, as they go to strengthen another house, not the house
where they were fed and reared. But there is not an iron-clad observance
of an inhuman rule here as some seem to imagine. All customs strange to
our Western ideas may surely be supposed to be grounded in very human
causes and to be very natural after all. Many parents are very fond of
their girls. Relations through the mother’s family and through sisters
are often highly esteemed.
One evening two fatherless little girls belonging to a Moslem tribe in
el-Bîreh were going home from Râm Allâh and were caught in a heavy hail
and thunder-storm just behind our house. Knowing that they would be
endangered we went out to bring them into the house until the storm
should pass. We found them very frightened and cowering in the poor
defense of a wall. They were soon quite happy after we had dried and fed
them.
But, just as in any other country, there were anxious mother-hearts a
mile away in el-Bîreh, and soon those mothers were out in the storm,
having enlisted two men and two boys in their eager search for the
little girls. Their terror was changed to keen pleasure when they found
the children safely sheltered from harm.
As the demands of the tribal life become less imperative, following the
improvement of social and general governmental conditions, the customs
of the people approach more nearly those of other nations.
At the time of the baby’s birth one of the neighboring women goes with
the good news to the father. For her welcome news she may receive a gift
from him. The father also provides fruit and other dainties for those
who come to congratulate him on the birth of a child. All this happens
in case the child is a boy. Quieter times ensue on the birth of a little
girl. The father and mother are known after the birth of the first son
as the father of so and so and the mother of so and so. For instance,
Abu Fâris and Umm Fâris are the new titles and practically the names of
the father and mother of the boy Fâris. The child adds its father’s
first name after its own. Simon Bar Jona (Simon, Son of Jona) was the
style of name among the ancient Jews. In modern times the Arab omits the
word _son_ in common usage, thus making the name simply Simon Jona.
The midwife attends to the dressing of the baby. She rubs the little
body with salt and oil and swaddles it tightly. This woman attendant
comes every day for forty days to cleanse and wrap the child. Woe betide
the mother or any other meddler who interferes with the wrapping and
other peculiar functions of the midwife, who is very jealous of the
dignity of her profession. She is mistress of her department and brooks
no interference.
The Christian baby is ordinarily baptized after the fortieth day. The
occasion is celebrated with a dinner. Babies are not weaned early. Some
are nursed for two years, while the last baby may be weaned only after
it is four or five years old. Dainties are brought to sweeten the little
gums and cause the weaning child to forget its mother’s milk.[76]
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One day we stepped into a near neighbor’s to see a newborn boy. He was
fast asleep, wound and dressed in his tight little wraps, and lying on
one of those circular straw mats of the kind used to cover the wooden
bread bowl. The mat in this case was put on top of a round shallow straw
basket such as the peasant woman uses to carry wheat. The whole was
about six inches high. The mother lay on a pallet on the floor beside
it. Considerable interest was felt in the health of this baby boy. There
were three girl children in the family, no boys, two other boy babies
having died. Their death illustrated the saying, “Killed with kindness.”
Being boys they received more attention, that is to say, more pampering,
than they would have received had they been girls. This consisted in
heeding their every wish in the matter of food, which was especially
harmful in times of sickness.
Children are the rulers of most houses in the country villages. They
exceed in number and dirtiness. If they are well they run in and out in
all kinds of weather, barefooted, bareheaded. If they are unwell, not
overmuch attention is paid to them at first except to bring them extras
to eat. If they become dangerously ill, all the medical help within
reach is summoned in a frenzy of helplessness. If they recover, their
convalescence is retarded by the same excessive generosity that seeks to
stuff them with whatever edibles they may call for. An ordinary country
parent is simply unable to resist the crying demands of a sick child,
and scarcely of a well one. The more ignorant parents are fond of
encouraging the precocity of their children, even teaching them to utter
baby curses against the members of their families, and laughing and
patting the little swearers in encouragement.
The poorer children are seldom bothered with more than one garment,
unless it be a skull-cap. If the parents are more prosperous a little
cloth cap embroidered, and with a few bangles or blue beads sewed on the
front, is provided. As they grow older the children may gain a jacket
over the little shirt. The little girls may have a row of coins on their
head-dresses and a little shawl or sash about them. On festivals the
little girl may be allowed to wear her mother’s holiday jacket or shawl.
The shawl has to be folded several times for the girl’s use. The
Bethlehem jacket, so commonly sought for festivals, is never meant to be
an exact fit for any one. Its beauty is in its surface, embroidered with
yellow, red and green silk.
The little girls begin very early to bring water in a jar on the head,
first beginning with a tiny jar which they steady by the hands, and
progressing until able to carry the heavy full-sized jar without the
touch of a hand, yes, even to carry such a jar, weighing thirty pounds,
tilted forward on the head. Of such a one, having a strong muscular
neck, and swinging forward gracefully and easily, the others may say as
they point, “See, she is strong, she can carry her jar tipped like the
comb of a cock.”
When very little, boys and girls play together in the streets and around
the ovens, sometimes even on the roofs. By the time they are six years
old they are very apt to separate and play with their own kind and to
differ a little in their choice of games. The older girls in the
families have to care for the little children a great deal, and have to
carry and amuse them. Boys and girls are soon able to help in the
vineyards, or in picking up olives, or gathering grass and brush, or
carrying things for older members of the family.
The receipt for making men and women in Palestine is the same as
elsewhere: Take boys and girls and give them a few years of
responsibility and you have men and women. The result of these few years
of responsibility is to take away the freedom of play and innocency and
to add the reserve of work and insight.
The following story is sometimes told to children to warn them against
foolish pride and to inculcate obedience to fathers.
[Illustration: THREE KINDS OF HOUSES—MUD, DRY-STONE, STONE-AND-MORTAR]
A young tiger who had heard about the ability of men, though he had
never seen one, felt so eager in his strength to have a combat that he
expressed to his father a wish to go out and find a man and have a fight
with him. The father tiger advised against such an undertaking, saying,
“Even I who am older and stronger than you should not think of seeking a
fight with a man, for I could not prevail against him.” But the proud
young tiger, not heeding his father’s advice, went to seek a man. He
journeyed until he came to a road much frequented by travelers and lay
down under a tree to await a foe. While waiting there he noticed a camel
running down the road, although loaded heavily. The camel was running
away from his master. The young, inexperienced tiger got up and said to
the camel, “Are you a man?” The camel answered hastily, “I am not a man,
but I am running away from a man, because he loads such heavy burdens on
me.” The young tiger thought to himself, “How strong must the man be if
he causes so much distress and fear in this great creature.” Next a
horse passed, and the tiger thought, “Maybe this is the man,” but
received a negative reply to his question as he had from the camel. Then
there came along a weak little donkey, loaded with wood and driven by a
man. The tiger asked his question of the man, “Are you a man?” “Yes,”
the man answered. Then the young tiger said, “I have come to have a
fight with you.” “All right,” replied the man, “but I am not quite ready
now. May I tie you with my rope to the tree until I can come back?” The
tiger allowed the man to tie him, which the man did very securely, and
then cut a strong, thick club from the tree, with which he beat the
young tiger cruelly. The tiger cried out in pain, “Oh, please let me go;
I’ll never try to fight with a man again.” Then the man let him go and
the young tiger went to his father and told his experience.
A bit of current fiction regarding Asiatics is that the children are
chronically unhappy. Moslem children are the especial victims of this
Christian species of prevarication. To such people “children playing in
the streets of Jerusalem” belong to the good time coming and are the
sign of fulfilled prophecy,[77] despite the probable fact that children
have been playing in Jerusalem’s streets for some thousands of years,
whether tourists have seen them or not. Doubtless, as the tourist
appears in any street, playing ceases and small children flee or stand
in mute amazement. The child will probably be happy again when the
apparition vanishes. Along the tourists’ route the children are too
often taught to cry out for gifts (_bakshîsh_) and to show themselves at
a disadvantage in order to excite pity. Moslem children sometimes curse
or even attempt to stone travelers.
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A matter of wonderment to us is the apparent immunity from harm with
which children play on unprotected places, such as roofs and about empty
pits and cisterns. Now and then we hear of some accident, but rarely. A
neighbor’s little girl, playing on the flat housetop, fell over into the
street and died.[78]
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One day I saw some little girls five or six years of age playing at
carrying head bundles of grass in imitation of women. Boys make and play
with slings (_miḳlâ‛_) for throwing stones. When quarreling, the first
impulse is for them to reach for a stone to throw. We noticed severe
burns on some of the boys, near the wrist. Some of them made huge sores
which roused our pitying concern. We found out that the wounds were
self-inflicted, however, the superstitious scamps having a boyish notion
that burning the wrist or forearm would insure for them greater accuracy
in throwing. The boys play horse vigorously. They have a game played
with pegs of wood very similar to our peggy, in which one strikes a
double-pointed peg on one end with a stick and tries to gain ground with
an opponent. Another game is played in a soft, spongy spot of ground
with longer pegs sharpened on one end only. It is something like playing
stick-knife. The object is so to drive the peg by a throw into the soft
space in the ground as to dislodge an opponent’s pegs, previously
thrown, and made to stick in the same place.
A game among the boys, called _‛alâm_, is very similar to the game of
_roll to the bat_. The privileged player strikes a ball with a stick and
drives it out into a field of other players. The boy who secures the
ball tries to throw or roll it so as to hit a stone marker (‛alâm) set
up by the first player. The one thus aiming at the stone marker warns
the others to stand aside and allow him to play by saying “_Dustûr_,”
signifying, “By your leave.”
The boys in our school played a game called _wolf_. A circle of boys
joined hands and went dancing around while one outside the moving
circle, called the wolf, kept trying to snatch one from the circle of
boys who represented sheep. But whenever a boy in the dancing circle
came anywhere near the hovering wolf he let fly his heels to prevent
capture. As boy after boy was snatched successfully by the outside boy
the circle grew smaller until but one was left, who was to be the wolf
in the next game.
Boys play about the threshing-floor and are often in the vineyards and
gardens. They play many games that are either the same or very similar
to those played by boys elsewhere. Such are marbles, duck-on-the-rock,
seesaw, swinging, blindman, leap-frog and hide-and-seek. In Râm Allâh
there is a variation of this last game called _khurrak_, played by
sides. There is a game called _ilkûrat_ which might well be considered a
primitive relative of golf.
There is as much difference between the training of the children of the
better class of peasants and the poorer in Palestine as obtains in the
differing grades of homes in other countries. Most youths come to
exhibit a very admirable respect for their elders and their teachers.
They are taught to kiss the hand of their father[79] or of any guest who
is visiting him. They seldom interject their own conversation or ideas
into the current of talk going on about them, but listen with keen
though modest attention. They are proud of the standing of the family in
the respect of the neighborhood and eager to learn their part in the
business of life.
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One father, a shaykh in his village, on sending away a son to another
village to attend school, was gruff in manner for some days before the
boy’s departure and treated the boy so unhandsomely that the mother
protested and said that it was wrong to let the boy go away feeling
badly. In explanation of his treatment of his son the father said, “Do
you love the boy more than I do? I am acting so that he will not be
homesick.”
A boy was noticed who had a fiery temper. When in a passionate fit of
anger he seemed to lose control of himself and wished to harm other
boys, being restrained only by force. An experienced mother in the
village who was related to the family explained the lad’s disposition to
sudden fits of anger by saying that when the child was very young the
mother’s milk was scanty and the baby had to be fed from the breasts of
several different women to help out a little now and then, and that this
variety of breasts for feeding accounted for the violent temper of the
boy.
Few families, comparatively, have what we should call a family name. The
nearest to it for the generality would be the name of the tribe to which
the family belongs. The tribal name is not used except in a formal or
legal designation. Generally a child bears two names, his own, or, as we
should say, a Christian or first name, followed by the name of his
father. Thus the child is given the personal name Yakûb (Jacob), and if
his father’s personal name is Ibrahîm (Abraham), he goes by the two
names, Yakûb Ibrahîm, which is equivalent to saying, “This is Yakûb, the
son of Ibrahîm.” If Ibrahîm had a daughter, he might name her ‛Azîzeh,
and she would be ‛Azîzeh Ibrahîm. Ibrahîm’s own father’s name may have
been Dâûd (David), so Ibrahîm’s full name would be Ibrahîm Dâûd, that
is, Ibrahîm, the son of Dâûd. But more likely Ibrahîm’s father’s name
was Yakûb, the same names being used often in a family with the omission
of a generation, so that grandfather and grandson may have the same
name.[80] In such a case the list of names would run:
(Grandfather) Yakûb Ibrahîm.
(Father) Ibrahîm Yakûb.
(Son) Yakûb Ibrahîm.
If this boy should have a son he probably would be called Ibrahîm Yakûb.
Sometimes one of these names, say Ibrahîm, is kept as a continuous
family name, and so ordinary names become stiffened into family or house
names. Occasionally the name thus taken may have been that of a mother
rather than a father. There is the very pretty custom, already
mentioned, that is quite general, of calling a man and his wife after
the name of their first-born son. So in the above case the father would
seldom be called Ibrahîm Yakûb, but Abu Yakûb, that is, father of (the
little) Yakûb, and the mother, Umm Yakûb, the mother of Yakûb. Even
though the child die the parents will be called henceforth by these
designations, which are esteemed titles of honor. In other cases family
names are derived from trades, as Ḥadâd, blacksmith; Bannâ, mason;
Bustâny, gardener or orchard-keeper; Ḥajjâr, stone worker. Or, it may be
from a former place of residence, as Rafîdya (a village near Nâblus). If
a member of the family has been a priest the name of all the family and
descendants is apt to be Khûry. Some family names are hard to interpret.
One of the most frequently heard names in the Lebanon district is that
of Ma‛lûf. The word itself means a fatted sheep, but the history of the
application of the name is obscure unless it was given to families
possessing such animals. Another family name, possibly of modern origin,
is Baṭâṭô, or Baṭâṭâ, the second form being the same as the word now
used for the new vegetable, potato, which fact may explain the name, or
it is possible that another significance attaches to the term.
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Some names are indicative of the religion to which the bearer belongs.
‛Abd er-Raḥman, Muḥammad, Maḥmûd, Ḥasan, Zayd, would be understood as
being Moslem names. A woman with the name Ḥâjar (Hagar) would be a
Moslem. On the other hand, Ḥannâ (John) for a man (feminine, Ḥannâh),
would be pretty sure to mark a Christian. Such masculine names as
Khalîl, Mûsâ, Dîâb, ‛Azîz, Ghânim and Farîd would not betray the
religion of the bearer, nor such feminine names as Ḥelweh, Anîseh,
Ḥabîbeh and Ṣabḥah.
Many of the above names and others are very significant when
translated.[81] Miladeh means that the little girl bearing it was born
at Christmas, which is known as the “Feast of the Birth” (‛Aîd
el-Mîlâd). Needless to say, this little girl was born in a Christian
family. Tufâḥah, _apple_, makes a pretty feminine name. So also Farḥâ,
_joy_, and Nijmeh, _star_. Not so pleasant are the names Tamâm,
_complete_, and Kâfyeh, _enough_, which mean that girl babies are not
welcome in the homes where such names are given.
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Nicknames are often bestowed and often stick fast to individuals and
families.[82] We knew a dumb man whose family went by the name Akhras,
_dumb_. A trickster whose cleverness was really admired and honored by
his fellows was dubbed esh-Shayṭân, _Satan_. No more enviable compliment
can be paid a sharp business man than this same designation, Shayṭân. We
knew a little girl who, in common with the family, shared the nickname
that the villagers had given to her father, Ṣarṣûr (or Ṣurṣur),
_cricket_.
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Many customs and much lore of the people have been described from time
to time during the past twenty-five years by Baldensperger in the
Quarterly Statements of the Palestine Exploration Fund.