THE BREAK
"Open your letter, Irma. From the postmark, it is surely from Kalman.
And what good writing it is! I have just had one from Jack."
Mrs. French was standing in the cosy kitchen of Simon Ketzel's
house, where, ever since the tragic night when Kalman had been so
nearly done to death, Irma, with Paulina and her child, had found a
refuge and a home. Simon had not forgotten his oath to his brother,
Michael Kalmar.
Irma stood, letter in hand, her heart in a tumult of joy, not
because it was the first letter she had ever received in her life,
but because the letter was from Kalman. She had one passion, love
for her brother. For him she held a strangely mingled affection
of mother, sister, lover, all in one. By day she thought of him,
at night he filled her dreams. She had learned to pray by praying
for Kalman.
"Aren't you going to open your letter?" said her friend, rejoicing
in her joy.
"Yes," cried the girl, and ran into the little room which she
shared with Paulina and her child.
Once in that retreat, she threw herself on her knees by the bed,
put the letter before her, and pressed her lips hard upon it, her
tears wetting it as she prayed in sheer joy. It was just sixteen
months, one week, three days, and nine hours since she had watched,
through a mist of tears, the train carrying him away to join the
Macmillan outfit at Portage la Prairie. Through Jack French's
letters to his sister she had been kept in close touch with her
brother, but this was his first letter to herself.
How she laughed and wept at the rude construction and the quaint
spelling, for the letter was written in her native tongue.
"My sister, my Irma, my beloved," the letter ran. Irma kissed the
words as she read them. "How shall I ever write this letter, for it
must be in our own beloved tongue? I could have written long ago in
English, but with you I must write as I speak, only in our dear
mother's and father's tongue. It is so hard to remember it, for
everything and every one about me is English, English, English.
The hounds, the horses, the cattle call in English, the very wind
sounds English, and I am beginning not only to speak, but to think
and feel in English, except when I think of you and of our dear
mother and father, and when I speak with old Portnoff, an old
Russian nihilist, in the colony near here, and when I hear him
tell of the bad old days, then I feel and breathe Russian again.
But Russia and all that old Portnoff talks about is far away and
seems like a dream of a year ago. It is old Portnoff who taught
me how to write in Russian.
"I like this place, and oh! I like Jack, that is, Mr. French,
my master. He told me to call him Jack. He is so big and strong,
so kind too, never loses his temper, that is, never loses hold
of himself like me, but even when he is angry, speaks quietly and
always smiles. One day Elluck, the Galician man that works here
sometimes, struck Blucher with a heavy stick and made him howl.
Jack heard him. 'Bring me that stick, Elluck,' he said quietly.
'Now, Elluck, who strikes my dog, strikes me.' He caught him by
the collar and beat him until Elluck howled louder than the dog,
and all the while Jack never stopped smiling. He is teaching me
to box, as he says that no gentleman ever uses a knife or a club,
as the Galicians do, in fighting; and you know that when they get
beer they are sure to fight, and if they use a knife they will
kill some one, and then they are sorry.
"You know about my school. Jack has told Mrs. French. I like Mr.
Brown, well, next to Jack. He is a good man. I wish I could just tell
you how good and how clever he is. He makes people to work for him in
a wonderful way. He got the Galicians to build his house for him, and
his school and his store. He got Jack to help him too. He got me to
help with the singing in the school every day, and in the afternoon on
Sundays when we go down to meeting. He is a Protestant, but, although
he can marry the people and baptise and say prayers when they desire
it, I do not think he is a priest, for he will take no money for what
he does. Some of the Galicians say he will make them all pay some day,
but Jack just laughs at this and says they are a suspicious lot of
fools. Mr. Brown is going to build a mill to grind flour and meal.
He brought the stones from an old Hudson's Bay Company mill up the
river, and he is fixing up an old engine from a sawmill in the hills.
I think he wants to keep the people from going to the Crossing, where
they get beer and whiskey and get drunk. He is teaching me everything
that they learn in the English schools, and he gives me books to read.
One book he gave me, I read all night. I could not stop. It is called
'Ivanhoe.' It is a splendid book. Perhaps Mrs. French may get it for
you. But I like it best on Sunday afternoons, for then we sing, Brown
and Jack and the Galician children, and then Brown reads the Bible and
prays. It is not like church at all. There is no crucifix, no candles,
no pictures. It is too much like every day to be like church, but Brown
says that is the best kind, a religion for every day; and Jack, too,
says that Brown is right, but he won't talk much about it.
"I am going to be a rancher. Jack says I am a good cattle man
already. He gave me a pony and saddle and a couple of heifers for
myself, that I saved last winter out of a snow-drift, and he says
that when I grow a little bigger, he will take me for his partner.
Of course, he smiles when he says this, but I think he means it.
Would not that be splendid? I do not care to be a partner, but just
to live with Jack always. He makes every one do what he likes
because they love him and they are afraid of him too. Old Mackenzie
would let him walk over his body. There is only one thing, and I
don't like to speak of it, and I would not to any one else, but it
makes me sore in my heart. When Jack and Old Mackenzie go to the
Crossing, they bring back whiskey, and until it is done they have
a terrible time. You know, I don't mind seeing the Galicians drink
whiskey and beer. I drink it myself now and then. But Jack and old
Mackenzie just sit down and drink and drink, and afterwards I know
Jack feels very bad. Once we went here to a Galician wedding, and
you know what that means. They all got drinking whiskey and beer,
and then we had a terrible time. The whole roomful got fighting.
They were all against Jack and Mackenzie. The Galicians had clubs
and knives, but Jack just had his hands. It was fine to see him
stand up and knock those Galicians back, and smiling all the time.
Mackenzie had a hand-spike. Of course, I helped a little with a
club. I thought they were going to kill Jack. We got away alive,
but Jack was badly hurt, and for a week afterwards he did not
look at me. Mackenzie said he was ashamed, but I don't know why.
He made a big fight. Mackenzie says he did not like to fight with
'them dogs.' Brown heard all about it and came to see Jack, and
he too looked ashamed and sorry. But Brown never fights; no matter
what they do to him, he won't fight; and he is a strong man, too,
and does not look afraid.
"Have you heard any word at all of father? I sometimes get so
lonely for him and you. I used to dream I was back with you again,
and then I would wake up and find myself alone and far away. It
will not be so long now till I'm a man, and then you will come and
live with me. Oh! I cannot write fast enough to put down the words
to say how glad I am to think of that. But some day that will be.
"I send my love to Simon Ketzel and Lena and Margaret, and you tell
Mrs. French I do not forget that I owe all I have here to her. Tell
her I wish I could do something for her. Nothing would be too hard.
"I kiss this paper for you, my dear sister, my beloved Irma.
"Your loving and faithful brother,
"Kalman."
Proud of her brother, Irma read parts of her letter to her friend,
leaving out, with a quick sense of what was fitting, every unhappy
reference to Jack French; but the little lady was keen of ear and
quick of instinct where Jack French was concerned, and Irma's
pauses left a deepening shadow upon her face. When the letter was
done, she said: "Is it not good to hear of Kalman doing so well?
Tell him he can do something for me. He can grow up a good man, and
he can help Jack to be--" But here her loyal soul held her back.
"No, don't say that," she said; "just tell him I am glad to know he
is going to be a good man. There is nothing I want more for those
I love than that. Tell him too," she added, "that I would like him
and Jack to help Mr. Brown all they can," and this message Irma
wrote to Kalman with religious care, telling him too how sad the
dear sweet face had grown in sending the message.
But when Mrs. French reached her home, she read again parts out of
the letter which the same mail had brought her from the Night Hawk
Ranch, read them in the light of Kalman's letter, while the shadows
deepened on her face.
"He is a strange little beggar," she read, "though, by Jove, he
is little no longer. He is somewhere about sixteen, is away past
my shoulder, and nearly as strong as I am, rides like a cowboy,
and is as good after the cattle as I am, is afraid of nothing,
and dearly loves a fight, and, I regret to say, he gets lots of it,
for the Galicians are always after him for their feasts. He is a
great singer, you know, and dances much too well; and at the feasts,
as I suppose you know quite well, there are always fights. And here
I want to consult you. I very nearly sent him back to you a little
while ago, not for his fault, but, I regret to say, for mine. We went
to a fool show among the Galicians, and, I am ashamed to say, played
the fool. There was the deuce of a row, and Mackenzie and I were
in a tight box, for a dozen or so of our Galician friends were
determined upon blood. They got some of mine too, for they were
using their knives, and, I am bound to say, it looked rather serious.
At this juncture that young beggar, forgetting all my good training
in the manly art, and reverting to his Slavic barbaric methods of
defence, went in with a hand-spike, yelling, and, I regret to say,
cursing, till I thought he had gone drunk or mad. Drunk, he was not,
but mad,--well, he was possessed of some kind of demon none too
gentle that night. I must acknowledge it was a good thing for us,
and though I hate to think of the whole ghastly business, it was
something fine, though, to see him raging up and down that room,
taunting them for cowards, hurling defiance, and, by Jove, looking
all the while like some Greek god in cowboy outfit, if your
imagination can get that. I am telling you the whole sickening story,
because I must treat you with perfect sincerity. I assure you next
morning I was sick enough of myself and my useless life, sick enough
to have done with the unhappy and disgraceful farce of living,
but for your sake and for the boy's too, I couldn't play the cad,
and so I continue to live.
"But I have come to the opinion that he ought not to stay with me.
As I said before, he is a splendid chap in many ways, but I am
afraid in these surroundings he will go bad. He is clean as yet,
I firmly believe, thank God, but with this Colony near us with
their low standard of morality, and to be quite sincere, in the
care of such a man as I am, the boy stands a poor chance. I know
this will grieve you, but it is best to be honest. I think he ought
to go to you. I must refuse responsibility for his remaining here.
I feel like a beast in saying this, but whatever shred of honour
is left me forces me to say it."
In the postscript there was a word that brought not a little hope and
comfort. "One thing in addition. No more Galician festivals for me."
It was a miserably cruel letter, and it did its miserably cruel work
on the heart of the little white-faced lady. She laid the letter down,
drew from a box upon her table a photo, and laid it before her.
It was of two young men in football garb, in all the glorious pride
of their young manhood. Long she gazed upon it till she could see
no more, and then went to pray.
It took Irma some days of thought and effort to prepare the answer
to her letter, for to her, as to Kalman, English had become easier
than her native Russian. To Jack French a reply went by return
mail. It was not long, but, as Jack French read, the easy smile
vanished, and for days he carried in his face the signs of the
remorse and grief that gnawed at his heart. Then he rode alone
to Wakota to take counsel with his friend Brown.
As he read, one phrase kept repeating itself in his mind: "The
responsibility of leaving Kalman with you, I must take. What else
can I do? I have no other to help me. But the responsibility for
what you make him, you must take. God puts it on you, not I."
"The responsibility for making him is not mine," he said to himself
impatiently. "I can teach him a lot of things, but I can't teach
him morals. That is Brown's business. He is a preacher. If he can't
do this, what's he good for?"
And so he argued the matter with himself with great diligence,
and even with considerable heat of mind. He made no pretence to
goodness. He was no saint, nor would he set up for one. All who
knew him knew this, and none better than Kalman.
"I may not be a saint, but I am no hypocrite, neither will I play
the part for any one." In this thought his mind took eager refuge,
and he turned it over in various phrases with increasing satisfaction.
He remembered with some anxiety that Brown's mental processes were
to a degree lacking in subtlety. Brown had a disconcertingly simple
and direct method of dealing with the most complex problems. If a
thing was right, it was right; if wrong, it was wrong, and that
settled the matter with Brown. There was little room for argument,
and none for compromise. "He has a deucedly awkward conscience too,"
said Jack French, "and it is apt to get working long shifts." Would
he show his sister-in-law's letter? It might be good tactics, but
that last page would not help him much, and besides he shrank from
introducing her name into the argument.
As he approached Wakota, he was impatient with himself that he was
so keenly conscious of the need of arguments to support his appeal.
He rode straight to the school, and was surprised to find Brown
sitting there alone, with a shadow on his usually cheery face.
"Hello, Brown!" he cried, as he entered the building, "another
holiday, eh! Seems to me you get more than your share."
"No," said Brown, "it is not holidays at all. It is a breaking up."
"What's the row, epidemic of measles or something?"
"I only wish it were," said Brown; "small-pox would not be too
bad." Brown's good-natured face was smiling, but his tone told
of gloom in his heart.
"What's up, Brown?" asked French.
"I'm blue, I'm depressed, I'm in a funk. It is my constitutional
weakness that I cannot stand--"
"Oh, let it go at that, Brown, and get on with the facts. But
come out into the light. That's the thing that makes me fear that
something has really happened that you are moping here inside.
Nothing wrong in the home I hope, Brown; wife and baby well?"
said French, his tone becoming more kind and gentle.
"No, not a thing, thank God! both fine and fit," said Brown, as
they walked out of the school and down the river path. "My school
has folded itself up, and, like the Arab, has stolen away."
"Go on with your yarn. What has struck your school?"
"A Polish priest, small and dark and dirty; he can't help the first
two, but with the Eagle River running through the country, he might
avoid the last."
"What is he up to?"
"I wish I knew. He introduced himself by ordering, upon pain of
hell fire, that no child attend my school; consequently, not a
Galician child has shown up."
"What are you going to do--quit?"
"Quit?" shouted Brown, springing to his feet.
"I apologize," said French hastily; "I ought to have known better."
"No, I am not going to quit," said Brown, recovering his quiet
manner. "If he wants the school, and will undertake to run it,
why, I'll give him the building and the outfit."
"But," said French, "isn't that rather funking it?"
"Not a bit" said Brown emphatically. "I am not sent here to
proselytize. My church is not in that business. We are doing
business, but we are in the business of making good citizens.
We tried to get the Government to establish schools among the
Galicians. The Government declined. We took it up, and hence this
school. We tried to get Greek Catholic priests from Europe to look
after the religion and morals of these people. We absolutely failed
to get a decent man to offer. Remember, I say decent man. We had
offers, plenty of them, but we could not lay our hands on a single,
clean, honest-minded man with the fear of God in his heart, and the
desire to help these people. So, as I say, we will give this man
a fair chance, and if he makes good, I will back him up and say,
'God bless you.' But he won't make good," added Brown gloomily,
"from the way he starts out."
French waited, and Brown went on. "He was called to marry a couple
the other day, got hopelessly drunk, charged them ten dollars, and
they are not sure whether they are married or not. Last Sunday he
drummed the people up to confession. It was a long time since they
had had a chance, and they were glad to come. He charged them two
dollars apiece, tried to make it five, but failed, and now he
introduces himself to me by closing my school. He may mean well,
but his methods would bear improvement. However, as I have said,
we will give him a chance."
"And meantime?" enquired French.
"Meantime? Oh! I shall stick to my pills and plasters,--we have ten
patients in the hospital now,--run the store and the mill, and try
to help generally. If this priest gets at his work and makes good,
I promise you I'll not bother him."
"And if not?" enquired French.
"If not? Well, then," said Brown, sinking back into his easy,
good-natured manner, "you see, I am constitutionally indolent.
I would rather he'd move out than I, and so while the colony
stays here, it will be much easier for me to stay than to go.
And," he added, "I shall get back my school, too."
French looked at him admiringly. Brown's lips had come together
in a straight line.
"By George! I believe you," exclaimed French, "and I think I see
the finish of the Polish gentleman. Can I help you out?"
"I do not know," said Brown, "but Kalman can. I want him to do
some interpreting for me some of these days. By the way, where
is he to-day? He is not with you."
French's face changed. "That reminds me," he said, "but I hate
to unload my burden on you to-day when you have got your own."
"Do not hesitate," said Brown, with a return of his cheery manner;
"another fellow's burden helps to balance one's own. You know I am
constitutionally selfish and get thinking far too much of myself,
--habit of mine, bad habit."
"You go to thunder, Brown, with your various and many
constitutional weaknesses. When I look at you and your work for
this thankless horde I feel something of a useless brute."
"Hold up there, now, don't you abuse my parishioners. They are a
perfectly good lot if left alone. They are awfully grateful, and,
yes, in many ways they are a good lot."
"Yes, a jolly lot of quitters they are. They have quit you dead."
Brown winced. "Let us up on that spot, French," he said. "It is
a little raw yet. What's your trouble?"
"Well," said French, "I hardly know how to begin. It is Kalman."
At once Brown was alert.
"Sick?"
"Oh! no, not he. Fit as a fiddle; but the fact is he is not doing
just as well as he ought."
"How do you mean?" said Brown anxiously.
"Well, he is growing up into a big chap, you know, getting towards
sixteen, and pretty much of a man in many ways, and while he is a fine,
clean, straight boy and all that, he is not just what I would like."
"None of us are," said Brown quietly.
"True, as far as I am concerned," replied French. "I do not know
about you. But to go on. The boy has got a fiendish temper and,
on slight provocation, he is into a fight like a demon."
"With you?" said Brown.
"Oh, come," said French, "you know better than that. No, he gets
with those Galicians, and then there is a row. The other week,
now--well--" French was finding it difficult to get on.
"I heard about it," said Brown; "they told me the boy was half
drunk, and you more." Brown's tone was not encouraging.
"You've hit it, Brown, and that's the sort of thing that makes
me anxious. The boy is getting into bad ways, and I thought you
might take him in hand. I cannot help him much in these matters,
and you can."
French's arguments had all deserted him.
"Look here," he said at length desperately, "here is a letter
which I got a few days ago. I want you to read that last page.
It will show you my difficulty. It is from my sister-in-law,
and, of course, her position is quite preposterous; but you
know a woman finds it difficult to understand some things in
a man's life. You know what I mean, but read. I think you know
who she is. It was she who sent Kalman out here to save him
from going wrong. God save the mark!"
Brown took the letter and read it carefully, read it a second time,
and then said simply:
"That seems straight enough. That woman sees her way through things.
But what's the trouble?"
"Well, of course, it is quite absurd."
"What's absurd?" asked Brown shortly. "Your responsibility?"
"Hold on, now, Brown," he said. "I do not want you to miss my point
of view."
"All right, let's have it," said Brown; and French plunged at once
at his main argument, adopting with great effort the judicial tone
of a man determined to examine dispassionately on the data at command.
"You see, she does not know me, has not seen me for fifteen years,
and I am afraid she thinks I am a kind of saint. Now, you know
better," Brown nodded his assent with his eyes steadily on the
other's face, "and I know better, and I am not going to play the
hypocrite for any man."
"Quite right," said Brown; "she does not ask you to."
"So it is there I want you to help me out."
"Certainly," said Brown, "count on me for all I can do. But that
does not touch the question so far as I can see it, even remotely."
"What do you mean?"
"It is not a question of what I am to do in the matter."
"What can I do?" cried French, losing his judicial tone. "Do you
think I am going to accept the role of moral preceptor to that
youth and play the hypocrite?"
"Who asks you to?" said Brown, with a touch of scorn. "Be honest in
the matter."
"Oh, come now, Brown, let us not chop words. Look at the thing
reasonably. I came for help and not--"
"Count on me for all the help I can give," said Brown promptly,
"but let's look at your part."
"Well," said French, "we will divide up on this thing. I will
undertake to look after the boy's physical and--well--secular
interests, if you like. I will teach him to ride, shoot, box,
and handle the work on the ranch, in short, educate him in
things practical, while you take charge of his moral training."
"In other words, when it comes to morals, you want to shirk."
French flushed quickly, but controlled himself.
"Excuse me, Brown," he said, in a quiet tone. "I came to talk this
over with you as a friend, but if you do not want to--"
"Old man, I apologize for the tone I used just now, but I foresee
that this is going to be serious. I can see as clearly as light
what I ought to say to you now. There is something in my heart
that I have been wanting to say for months, but I hate to say it,
and I won't say it now unless you tell me to."
The two men were standing face to face as if measuring each other's
strength.
"Go on," said French at length; "what are you afraid of?" His tone
was unfortunate.
"Afraid," said Brown quickly, "not of you, but of myself."
He paused a few moments, as if taking counsel with himself, then,
with a sudden resolve, he spoke in tones quiet, deliberate, and
almost stern. "First, be clear about this," he said; "I stand
ready to help you with Kalman to the limit of my power, and to
assure you to the full my share of responsibility for his moral
training. Now then, what of your part in this?"
"Why, I--"
"But wait, hear me out. For good or for evil, you have that boy's
life in your hands. Did you ever notice how he rides,--his style,
I mean? It is yours. How he walks? Like you. His very tricks of
speech are yours. And how else could it be? He adores you, you know
that. He models himself after you. And so, mark me, without either
of you knowing it, _you will make him in spite of yourself and in
spite of him_. And it is your fate to make him after your own type.
Wait, French, let me finish." Brown's easy good nature was gone,
his face was set and stern. "You ask me to teach him morals. The
fact is, we are both teaching him. From whom, do you think, will he
take his lesson? What a ghastly farce the thing is! Listen, while
the teaching goes on. 'Kalman,' I say, 'don't drink whiskey; it is
a beastly and degrading habit.' 'Fudge!' he says, 'Jack drinks
whiskey, and so will I.' 'Kalman,' I urge, 'don't swear.' 'Rot,'
says he, 'Jack swears.' 'Kalman, be a man, straight, self-controlled,
honourable, unselfish.' The answer is,--but no! the answer never
will be,--'Jack is a drunken, swearing, selfish, reckless man!'
No, for he loves you. But like you he will be, in spite of all
I can say or do. That is your curse for the life you are leading.
Responsibility? God help you. Read your letter again. That woman
sees clearly. It is God's truth. Listen, 'The responsibility for
what you make him you must take. God puts it there, not I.'
You may refuse this responsibility, you may be too weak, too wilful,
too selfish to set upon your own wicked indulgence of a foolish
appetite, but the responsibility is there, and no living man or
woman can take it from you."
French stood silent for some moments. "Thank you," he said,
"you have set my sins before me, and I will not try to hide them;
but by the Eternal, not for you or for any man, will I be anything
but myself."
"What kind of self?" enquired Brown. "Beast or man?"
"That is not the question," said French hotly. "I will be no
hypocrite, as you would have me be."
"Jack French," said Brown, "you know you are speaking a lie before
God and man."
French stepped quickly towards him.
"Brown, you will have to apologize," he said in a low, tense voice,
"and quick."
"French, I will apologize if what I have said is not true."
"I cannot discuss it with you, Brown," said French, his voice thick
with rage. "I allow no man to call me a liar; put up your hands."
"If you are a man, French," said Brown with equal calm, "give me a minute.
Read your letter again. Does she ask you to be a hypocrite? Does she not,
do I not, only ask you to be a man, and to act like a man?"
"It won't do, Brown. It is past argument. You gave me the lie."
"French, I wish to apologize for what I said just now," said Brown.
"I said you knew you were speaking a lie. I take that back, and
apologize. I cannot believe you knew. All the same, what you said
was not the truth. No one asks you, nor does that letter ask you,
to be a hypocrite. You said I did. That was not true. Now, if you
wish to slap my face, go on."
French stood motionless. His rage well-nigh overpowered him, but he
knew this man was speaking the truth. For some moments they stood
face to face. Then, impulsively offering his hand, and with a quick
change of voice, Brown said, "I am awfully sorry, French; let's
forget it."
But ignoring the outstretched hand, French turned from him without
a word, mounted his horse, and rode away.
Brown stood watching him until he was out of sight. "My God,
forgive me," he cried, "what a mess I made of that! I have lost
him and the boy too;" and with that he passed into the woods,
coming home to his wife and baby late at night, weary, spent,
and too sad for speech or sleep.