“Howe’er, from this time, I shall ne’er see your graces,
As I hope to be saved! without thinking on asses!”
Which joke, by the bye, the author of “Waverley” has deigned to make
free with, and thrust into the mouth of a thick-headed fellow, in the
fourth volume of the “Crusaders.”
Gesner says he saw one leap through a hoop, and, at the word of command,
lie down just as if he were dead.
Mahomet had an excellent creature, half ass and half mule: for if we may
take his word for it, the beast carried him from Mecca to Jerusalem in
the twinkling of an eye in one step!--“It is only the _first step_ which
is difficult,” says the French proverb, and here it is undoubtedly
right.
Sterne gives us a most affecting account of one which had the misfortune
to die. “The ass,” the old owner told him, “he was assured loved him.
They had been separated three days, during which time the ass had sought
him as much as he had sought the ass: and they had scarce either eat or
drank till they met.” This certainly could not have assisted much to
improve the health of the donkey. I cannot better conclude my evidence
of his shrewdness and capacity than with an anecdote which many authors
combine in declaring:--
“De la peau du lion _l’âne_ s’étant vêtu
Etoit craint partout à la ronde:
Et bien qu’animal sans vertu
Il faisoit trembler tout le monde.
Un petit bout d’oreille, echappé par malheur,
Decouvrit la fourbe et l’erreur.
_Martin_ fit alors son office,” &c.
_La Fontaine._
It is curious to see the same taste and the same peculiarities attached
to the same family. As long as the ass was thought to be a lion, he was
suffered to go on,--but when he is discovered to be an _ass_, forth
steps Mr. _Martin_--then the task is his!
Now for the estimation in which they were held.
Shakspeare makes the fairy queen, the lovely Titania, fall in love with
a gentleman who sported an ass’s head:--
“Methought I was enamour’d of an ass,”
said the lady waking--and she thought right, if love be
“All made of fantasy,
All adoration, duty, and observance.”
At Rouen, they idolized a donkey in the most ludicrous manner, by
dressing him up very gaily in the church, dancing round him, and
singing, “eh! eh! eh! father ass! eh! eh! eh! father ass!” which,
however flattering to him, was really no compliment to themselves.
The ass on which Silenus rode, when he did good service to Jove, and the
other divinities, was transported up into the celestial regions. Apion
affirms, that when Antiochus spoiled the temple at Jerusalem a golden
ass’s head was found, which the Jews used to worship.--To this Josephus
replies with just indignation, and argues how could they adore the image
of that, which, “when it does not perform what we impose upon it, we
beat with a great many stripes!” Poor beasts! they must be getting used
to hard usage by this time! The wild ass was a very favourite creature
for hunting, as we learn from Martial (13 Lib. 100 Ep.); and Virgil
sings--
“Sæpè etiam cursu timidos agitabis onagros.”
Its flesh was esteemed a dainty. Xenophon, in the first book of the
“Anabasis,” compares it to venison; and Bingley says, it is eaten to
this day by the Tartars: but what is more curious, Mæcenas, who was a
sensible man in other respects, preferred, according to Pliny, the meat
of the foal of the tame donkey! “de gustibus non disputandum” indeed!
With its milk Poppœa composed a sort of paste with which she bedaubed
her face, for the purpose of making it fair: as we are told by Pliny
(Lib. 11. 41) and Juvenal (Sat. 2. 107): and in their unadulterated milk
she used frequently to bathe for the same purpose (Dio. 62. 28.):
“Propter quod secum comites educit _asellas_
Exul Hyperboreum si dimittatur ad axem.”
_Juv._ 6. 468.
And in both respects she was imitated by many of the Roman ladies. Of
its efficacy to persons of delicate habits there can be no doubt, and
Dr. Wolcott only called it in question (when recommended by Dr. Geach,)
for the purpose of making the following excellent epigram:--
“And, doctor, do you really think
That ass’s milk I ought to drink?
’Twould quite remove my cough, you say,
And drive my old complaints away.--
It cured yourself--I grant it true--
But then--’twas _mother’s milk_ to _you_?”
And lastly, even when dead, his utility is not ended; for, as we read in
Plutarch (Vita Cleomenis) the philosopher affirmed, that “from the dead
bodies of asses, _beetles_ were produced!”