These brief memoranda suffice to memorialize a peculiar individual.
James Gordon at one time possessed “fame, wealth, and honours:” now--his
“fame” is a hapless notoriety; all the “wealth” that remains to him is a
form that might have been less careworn had he been less careless; his
honour is “air--thin air,” “his gibes, his jests, his flashes of
merriment, that were wont to set the table in a roar,” no longer enliven
the plenteous banquet:--
“Deserted in his utmost need
By men his former bounty fed,”
the bitter morsel for his life’s support is parish dole. “The gayest of
the gay” is forgotten in his age--in the darkness of life; when
reflection on what _was_, cannot better what _is_. Brilliant circles of
acquaintance sparkle with frivolity, but friendship has no place within
them. The prudence of sensuality is selfishness.
* * * * *
The Cambridge communication concerning James Gordon is accompanied by an
amusing list of names derived from “men and things.”
_Personages and their Callings at Cambridge in 1825._
A King is a brewer
A Bishop a tailor
A Baron a horse-dealer
A Knight a turf-dealer
A Proctor a tailor
A Marshall a cheesemonger
An Earl a laundress
A Butler a picture-frame maker
A Page a bookbinder
A Pope an old woman
An Abbott a bonnet-maker
A Monk a waterman
A Nun a horse-dealer
A Moor a poulterer
A Savage a carpenter
A Scott an Englishman
A Rose a fishmonger
A Lilly a brewer
A Crab a butcher
A Salmon a linendraper
A Leech a fruiterer
A Pike a milkman
A Sole a shoemaker
A Wood a grocer
A Field a confectioner
A Tunnell a baker
A Marsh a carrier
A Brook a turf-dealer
A Greenwood a baker
A Lee an innkeeper
A Bush a carpenter
A Grove a shoemaker
A Lane a carpenter
A Green a builder
A Hill a butcher
A Haycock a publican
A Barne a grocer
A Shed a butler
A Hutt a shoeblack
A Hovel a draper
A Hatt a bookseller
A Capp a gardener
A Spencer a butcher
A Bullock a baker
A Fox a brazier
A Lamb a sadler
A Lion a grocer
A Mole a town-crier
A Roe an engraver
A Buck a college gyp.
A Hogg a gentleman
A Bond a grocer
A Binder a fruiterer
A Cock a shoemaker
A Hawk a paperhanger
A Drake a dissenting minister
A Swan a shoemaker
A Bird an innkeeper
A Peacock a lawyer
A Rook a tailor
A Wren a bricklayer’s labourer
A Falcon a gentleman
A Crow a builder
A Pearl a cook
A Stone a glazier
A Cross a boatwright
A Barefoot an innkeeper
A Leg a mantua-maker
White a shoemaker
Green a carpenter
Brown a fishmonger
Grey a painter
Pink a publican
Tall a printer
Short a tailor
Long a shopkeeper
Christmas an ironmonger
Summer a carpenter
Sad a barber
Grief a glazier
Peace a carpenter
Bacon a tobacconist.
A Hard-man
A Wise-man
A Good-man
A Black-man
A Chap-man
A Free-man
A New-man
A Bow-man
A Spear-man
A Hill-man
A Wood-man
A Pack-man
A Pit-man
A Red-man
A True-man.
* * * * *