_Ever hear of evil fairies who
grant three wishes? McWorther's
was more efficient. One wish
was plenty to bring catastrophe!_
[Transcriber's Note: This etext was produced from
Worlds of If Science Fiction, March 1960.
Extensive research did not uncover any evidence that
the U.S. copyright on this publication was renewed.]
I
At one hundred and thirty, life was indeed gratifying for Titus
McWorther. But for one missing detail, it would have been perfect.
With his wife, Edna, he had planned well for retirement. His
idyllic estate consisted of a second-hand planetoid, thirty miles in
circumference, which was the only habitable piece of matter in its
system. Complete with supplementary gravity generator, a compact
atmosphere, a mantle of lush topsoil and a carefully selected biota,
McWorther's World was both his delight and his pride.
Its principal asset was, of course, its isolation.
Well away from the mainstream of galactic civilization, McWorther's
Star was smugly hidden behind a dark nebula, through which he and Edna
plunged twice a year to the fringe of the cluster--just to observe and
mock convention, if for nothing else.
It was an ideal setup.
But, after two sedentary years, Titus realized he still needed one item
to make his retirement complete. So he dispatched this tight-beamed
message to the packet order department of Rear-Sobucks and Company in
the West Cluster Federation's Hub City:
Dear Sir:
Please send one automatic bather with back-scrubbing attachment
and toy boat docks, as listed in your videolog under order
No. 4678-25C. Charge same to credit account No. W414754-B24D.
Sincerely yours,
Titus McWorther, Potentate
McWorther's World
He listed the coordinates of the star and the orbital factor of his
planetoid.
* * * * *
Unfortunately, the hyper-spatial line between McWorther's World and
the nearest relay center was partly coincident with the link to the
politically noncommitted world of Gauyuth-VI.
This condition, together with the fact that components of a
communication are sent by separate pulse, sometimes leads to the
embarrassing phenomenon known as "message interfusion," which is
retransmission of the right text with the wrong signature.
And it so happened that as Titus McWorther's order was en route, the
system was also being burdened with this intelligence to the Ganymede
Extension of the Western Cluster's State Department:
Dear Sir:
This will verify our agreement and authorize implementation of
interstellar aid arrangements as set forth in conferences with your
ambassador. If such arrangements produce mutual satisfaction, we
will quite readily declare concurrence, in principle at least, with
the political aims of the Western Cluster.
Respectfully yours,
Ogarm Netath,
Prime Minister
Gauyuth-VI
Appended to the signature were the coordinates of Gauyuth and the
orbital factor of its Number Six planet.
* * * * *
Wharton Hoverly, undersecretary of cosmic aid for the Western Cluster,
plucked at his thick, gray mustache as he reread the space-o-gram.