"WHEN YULE IS COLD."
Rachel, when she did at last get married, had a very stately wedding, if
that was any comfort to her. The weather was beautiful, to begin with; a
lovelier autumn morning even Australia could not have furnished, to be
an omen of good luck for the future years.
Each of the eight young Melbourne belles who had been invited to assist
at the interesting ceremony took care to point out the significance of
sunshine and a cloudless sky when offering their congratulations to the
bride and to the bridegroom also.
The bridegroom on this occasion by no means filled the humble office
which tradition and custom assigned to him. There was not a bridesmaid
of them all who did not feel that she was much more Mr. Kingston's
bridesmaid than Mrs. Kingston's.
Not only were they better acquainted and on more friendly terms
generally with him than with her, but he had far more to say to them,
and practically far more to do with them, in the course of the day and
in the discharge of his and their official duties.
He was the prince of bridegrooms, indeed. He had made magnificent
settlements upon his wife (though the credit of that really belonged to
Mr. Hardy, who, for once in a way, had to be reckoned with in the
progress of these arrangements); and his wedding presents were on an
equally noble scale.
The bridesmaids' bracelets were solid evidences of his worth in every
sense of the term, and inasmuch as each bracelet slightly differed from
the rest, though all were equally costly, of the excellence of his taste
and tact. They were valued thereafter by their respective recipients
rather as parting keepsakes from their bachelor friend than as
mementoes of his auspicious marriage.
And the diamond necklace that was his special wedding-day gift to his
bride, and which lay just under the ruffled lace encircling her white
throat--a dazzling ring of shifting lights and colours--a magnet to the
eyes of all spectators--was worthy to have been a gift from Solomon to
the Queen of Sheba.
There was not a servant in the house, nor near it, who did not receive
some token of the princely fashion in which he improved this great
occasion, and who did not participate in the general impression that he
more than rivalled, in popularity and importance, the beautiful young
lady whom he had won.
Of the company, all were charmed with his gaiety, his affability, and
his delightful _sang-froid_. He was never for a moment embarrassed. He
overflowed with airy courtesies, not only to his bride, but to all her
maids and friends.
He made a brilliant speech, that exactly hit the happy medium between
tearful pathos and unfeeling jocularity, and that was full of well-bred
witticisms, provocative of gentle, well-bred laughter. He was, in short,
all that a bridegroom ought to be, and so very seldom is. He covered
himself with honour.
Rachel, on the contrary, seemed to have been mesmerised into temporary
lifelessness. It was expected that she would be shy and fluttered, and
bathed in blushes; but she was not agitated at all, and she did not
blush at all. She bore herself generally with a statuesque composure
that was thought by some to be very dignified, and by others very wooden
and stupid, and that was a little depressing to witness from either
point of view. From the beginning of the day she wore this unnatural
calmness.
Mrs. Reade had been in terror lest she should give way to unbecoming
excitement at some stage of the ceremonies, and was prepared to combat
the first symptoms of hysteria with such material and moral remedies as
were most likely to be efficacious.
She had strictly enjoined Lucilla, who had brought the baby to the
wedding, not to let that irresistible child appear upon any account,
and bidden her restrict herself to the most perfunctory caresses until
the public ordeal was over. But long ere this point was reached the
little woman was longing to see some signs of the emotional weakness
that she had deprecated, and there were none.
The bride was as beautiful as a sculptor's ideal, but as cold as the
marble which dimly embodies it. She had apparently nerved herself for a
sacrificial rite, or else the greatness of her suffering had numbed her;
or she was calm with resignation and despair.
"I wish," said Mrs. Reade to herself, in the middle of the marriage
service, "I wish I had stopped it last night. I have made a mistake."
But as this thought occurred to her, she was standing--a splendid little
figure in ruby velvet and antique lace--in the midst of scores of other
splendid figures, a helpless witness to the irrevocable consummation of
her mistake, which after all was less hers than anybody's.
Rachel had given her "troth" to her husband, and he was putting the ring
that was the sign and seal of it--the token and pledge of the solemn vow
and covenant betwixt them made--upon her finger.
When the breakfast was over, that domestic pendant to the religious
ceremony having "gone off" with great success, Mrs. Kingston, in due
course, retired to put on her travelling dress.
The bridesmaids proper were dispensed with at this stage, and the two
married cousins went upstairs with the bride.
It was Beatrice now who was tender and caressing; Lucilla, who did not
see very far below the surface of anything, and was delighted with the
pomp and circumstance of this new alliance in the family, and charmed,
like all happy matrons, to welcome a new comer into the matrimonial
ranks, overflowed with unwonted gaiety.
"Now we are _all_ married!" she exclaimed, sinking upon a sofa in
Rachel's room, and looking very fair and young--as if marriage had
thoroughly agreed with her--in a pale blue French dress of the highest
fashion. "And we have all married so well, haven't we? And we have all
got such good husbands. Oh, how nice it will be when Rachel and Laura
come back and begin housekeeping! John is going to let me have a house
in town, too, as soon as Isabel and Bruce come home, so that we shall be
down for part of the year; and then what a cosy little family circle we
shall make! But Rachel will be at the head of us all. Ah, dear child,
you will know now how nice it is to be a married woman--to have your own
husband with you always--such a delightful, attentive husband, too, as I
know he will be--and your own home--such a beautiful home----"
"You lock up her diamonds, Lucilla," Mrs. Reade interrupted, handing the
starry necklace to her sister. "And, Rachel, dear, don't stand and tire
yourself. Sit down, and let me dress you."
Rachel, when her bridal lace and satin had been taken off, sat down to
be sponged and brushed, and to have her travelling boots laced up.
Beatrice performed her lady's-maid offices in silence, while Lucilla
handed her what she wanted, and pleasantly chatted on; and when all was
done, and the bride, in russet homespun, was ready for her departure,
there were a few words whispered that Mrs. Thornley did not hear.
"My darling, you _said_ you would try."
"Yes, Beatrice, dear; yes, I am trying."
"You are not finding it very hard--too hard--are you?"
"It will be easier in a little while."
"If you make an effort, Rachel--if you make up your mind--if you are
kind and good to your husband, and try to keep him straight, and to make
his home happy----"
"Yes, dear; yes. I am going to do all I can. But to-day I can only feel
that I have lost--_quite_ lost--Roden. I feel now as if he were dead.
Even the memory of him I must not comfort myself with any more. That is
what I feel hard. But I am trying to get over it. I have promised Mr.
Kingston--Graham--all those solemn promises, and I _must_ keep them--I
will. It is only at first that I don't know how to bear it; but it will
be easier by-and-bye. We must not talk about it, Beatrice; it is wrong
to talk about it now. And, oh! I do so dread that I shall break down."
She did break down at last. When she descended the staircase into the
hall she found all the company awaiting her, the front door open, and
the carriage that was to take her away being packed with her travelling
bags and wraps.
She shook hands with all the guests, and smiled a gentle response to
their congratulatory farewells; she shook hands with John and his
fellow-servants; she kissed her uncle and thanked him for all his
kindness to her; she embraced Lucilla and Beatrice with silent fervour,
and then her stately aunt, to whom she repeated her grateful
acknowledgements for the home and care that had been given her.
"I am afraid I have not made much return to you for your goodness to me,
dear Aunt Elizabeth," she said, with pathetic earnestness, but with no
agitation of voice or manner.
To her intense surprise the majestic woman suddenly burst into tears.
"Oh, my child!" she said, tenderly, "I hope I have been as good an aunt
to you as you have been a good niece to me. I hope you will be very,
very happy, my darling. If you are not, I shall never forgive myself."
Mr. Kingston, of course, was standing by, and a frown fell like a cloud
over his face. Mrs. Reade was also standing by, and she looked at him
steadily for a few seconds with clear, bright eyes.
"Come, Rachel," he said, and he only looked at his wife; "we shall lose
our train if we don't make haste."
Rachel withdrew herself from her aunt's arms, and Mr. Kingston took her
by the hand and led her away, followed from the house to her carriage by
all her train. She was a good deal shaken by the little incident that
had so unexpectedly occurred.
There was no mystery to her in what Mrs. Hardy had said, but the thing
she had done was very strange and very touching. It invested the Toorak
House and all its belongings with a new charm that the orphan girl had
never felt before with all the kindness that she had enjoyed there.
At no time in the fourteen or fifteen months that she had lived in it
had it seemed so much her "home" as at this moment, when her aunt cried
like a mother at parting from her--so desirable a place to stay in now
that she had to go.
"Well," said Mr. Kingston, when the carriage was fairly out of the Hardy
grounds, and he had waved a gracious adieu with the tips of his fingers
to the woman at the lodge, who stood in her Sunday best and white satin
cap-ribbons, smiling and curtseying, to see them pass; "well, that is a
good thing over, isn't it? Of all the senseless institutions of this
world, a wedding _a la mode_ is about the most preposterous. You look
knocked up already, when you ought to be fresh for your travels."
He spoke with a little nervous irritation, and Rachel did not answer
him. Her heart was beating very fast, beating in her ears and in her
throat, as well as in the place where its active operations were usually
carried on.
All her powers were concentrated upon a desperate effort to postpone
that breaking-down which she had dreaded, and which she felt was
inevitable, until she could shut herself within four walls again. But
she could not postpone it.
Her husband took her hand and asked her what was the matter with
her--whether she felt ill, or whether she was regretting after all that
she had married him; whether she was going to make him happy, as
she had promised, or to curse his life with its bitterest
disappointment--speaking half in love, half in anger, with a sudden
outburst of protesting entreaty provoked by her irresponsive silence.
And she began to cry--almost to scream--in the most violent and alarming
manner.
"My dear love! my sweet child!" cried the bridegroom, aghast. "I did not
mean to vex you, Rachel. I did not mean to blame you, my pet. Rachel,
Rachel, hush! do hush! Don't let that confounded coachman go back and
say--Rachel, do you hear?"--giving her a little shake--"there are people
passing. For Heaven's sake don't make a scene in the street, whatever
you do!"
Rachel was almost beside herself with excitement, but she was awake to
the indecency of betraying her emotion to the servants and the
passers-by. Moreover, something in her husband's voice steadied her.
By a strong effort she checked the headlong impulse to rave and scream
that for a few seconds was almost overpowering, and held herself in with
shut teeth and tight-locked hands, wildly sobbing under her breath, and
by-and-bye, when the first rush of passion had spent itself, she became
quiet and tractable, fortunately, before they reached the
railway-station.
Mr. Kingston was terribly shocked and outraged by this behaviour. He
would have given anything to be able to scold her--in a gentle and
judicious manner, of course--but he was afraid to attempt such a thing,
or even to speak of the probable causes that had led to such deplorable
impropriety.
He rummaged for his spirit-flask, and made her drink a few drops of
brandy, which nearly choked her; he found some eau-de-Cologne and bathed
her face; he got her to put on a thicker veil, which happened to be
amongst the luxuries that her aunt and cousins had stuffed into her
travelling-bag; and he kissed her and petted her, and when she attempted
to explain and excuse herself, bade her "Hush! till another time," and
would not listen to her.
His immediate anxiety was to restore her personal appearance and her
powers of self-command. The more important matters could wait. And he
succeeded in his efforts; she did not break down any more.
Their journey that day was not very far. An hour or two in the train,
and then half a dozen miles in a comfortable covered buggy, and they
reached the country house which had been placed at their disposal--the
best substitute to be had for that charming residence on the shores of
the bay at Sydney--where they were to spend two or three weeks in their
own society before starting by the next mail to Europe.
As they were driving through the silent bush, in the dusk of that autumn
day, and the bridegroom, wrapped in his fur-collared overcoat, was
musing not very happily upon the success that had crowned his
long-cherished hopes and plans, his young wife slipped her hand under
his arm, and laid her cheek upon his coat-sleeve.
"Graham," she whispered softly.
He turned round quickly, and took her in his arms. It was the first time
she had spoken his name and offered him a caress voluntarily, and he was
greatly touched and cheered.
"Will you forgive me?" she said, not shrinking away from his embrace,
but creeping into it as she had never done before. "And, oh, will you
love me, in spite of it all?"
"Love you!" he echoed, tenderly. "My sweet, I have always loved you more
than anybody in the world, and I always shall. It will not be on _my_
side that love will be wanting."
She said no more, but she lay still, with her head in its soft little
sealskin cap on his breast, as if she liked to feel his arms about her.
It was so new to him, and so immeasurably delightful. He had never
expected to feel happier (even on his wedding day) than he felt now,
with his best beloved, who had been so impracticable, his own at last,
giving herself up to him in this way.
Poor, parasitic little heart, full of spreading tendrils! It was
essential to its very existence that it should have _something_ to cling
to--which was a view of the case, that happily did not chance to strike
him.