Unfortunately I was prevented, by an appointment of a semi-professional
character--I had been desired by a maiden aunt to give her my advice
upon a question, of damage arising out of a canine assault committed
by her lap-dog--from being present at the General Meeting of the Bar,
and consequently was unable to take part in the annual deliberations of
my learned and friendly colleagues. From what passed on the occasion
to which I refer, I gather that there was an inclination to call the
Benchers of the Inns of Court to account. It seems to me--and I believe
that I am right in the opinion--that, so long as our Masters worthily
represent the dignity of the profession, we Members of the Inner and
Outer Bar have no tangible cause for complaint.
But I fancy the leading subject at the Forensic Congress was the Long
Vacation. Judging from the numerous letters that have reached me
from both branches of the profession, this is a matter of the first
importance to all of us. I have been asked by many of my learned and
friendly colleagues, and my nearly equally learned and even more
friendly clients, to give my opinion on the subject. One respected
correspondent who hails from Ely Place, writes, "How could you possibly
recover from the wear and tear of your arduous practice in Trinity
Term, had you not a part of August and nearly the whole of September
and October ready to hand for recuperation?" I quite agree with Sir
GEORGE--I should say, my respected correspondent--that as I
near "the long," I do feel the need of rest--nay, even considerable
rest. Then a learned friend who represents not only the Bar, but
chivalry in its forensic form, sends me a caricature of "DICKY
W." that would suggest that were the holidays to be decreased,
a wearer of a most distinguished order, and an athlete of no small
fame would be reduced to a condition of complete collapse. Once again,
an ornament to our Bench--perhaps the greatest ornament--honours me
with the suggestion that were we to lose a month of recreation, it
might sadden the terraces of Monte Carlo, and eclipse the merriment of
Newmarket Heath. It is needless to state that all these communications
have had weight with me. Still, I have deemed it desirable to approach
the subject with an open mind. It seems to me (and no doubt to many
others) that the question narrows itself into a matter of finance. I
have therefore taken PORTINGTON into my counsels, and examined
with unusual care the pages of my Fee Book. After much consultation
with my admirable and excellent clerk, and an exhaustive audit of
the figures of my forensic _honoraria_, I have come to the matured
conclusion that the lengthening or the shortening of the Long Vacation
does not affect me financially in the very least.
(_Signed_) A. BRIEFLESS, JUNIOR.
_Pump-handle Court, June 22, 1895._
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Football is to be played in all the schools and colleges of Russia. The
champion of the game is known as Prince KHIKOFF.
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[Illustration: THE FATE OF ROTTEN ROW.]
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