A WALK WITH SIGNOR REGNIATI.
_THE PROSAIC GENTLEMAN._
_Weather fine. We are out for a walk. Mr. Orby Frimmely, of the City,
represents the Prosaic. I put myself down as the Poetic, and the Signor
as the Enthusiastic. To us a small man in clerical black and Roman
collar._
_The Signor_ (_saluting cleric_). Ah, Father Cuthbert. 'Ow you do?
(_Introduces us._) You 'ave got beautiful flowers.
_Father C._ (_alluding to the bunch in his hand_). _Flores martyrum._
You have heard that we are ordered off for active service in China.
_Self._ China! (_We see in our "mind's eye, Horatio" the fearful
tortures recently practised upon Christians in China and are
speechless._)
_Frimmely_ (_the Prosaic_). Ah! You must take care what you're about
there. (_Surprise of the Reverend F. Cuthbert._) The Government won't
protect you, you know (_he says this as if the reverend gentleman was
going to China to rob an orchard_).
_Father C._ No. It will not. (_Nobly._) We go to suffer and to preach
the faith.
_Signor._ Oh, my Jo! I should not like to be eat. I 'ope you vill not
go. Let us know before you start.
_Father C._ (_cheerfully_). It is certain. I'm afraid I shan't be at the
College to see you next Sunday. Good-bye.
[_Exit Father C._
_We continue our walk._
_Myself_ (_the poetical_). Ah! What a grand lot! What a high and holy
calling. Here we are, striving for comfort, and perhaps for fame, there
the missioner goes forth, to die, perhaps in torments, unknown to the
world until the Day of Doom.
[_I am impressed and silent._]
_Signor._ Oh, my Jo! I vould not go to be eat. (_Nobly, and in true
Christian spirit._) I vould say let me go, and I vill run a-vays.
_Frimmely_ (_the Prosaic_). Martyr!... Well, I wouldn't mind being a
martyr if I'd been brought up to it. I don't see why you should waste
sentiment on Father Cuthbert or anybody else whose profession it is.
(_Repeating incisively_) It's his profession, his business, to be
uncomfortable, and, finis coronat opus, martyrdom signifies in his line,
success. (_We are silent and he continues further to instruct us._) You
Catholics (_to the Signor_), you know, have colleges of Missioners in
training; I've seen 'em. As in a Law College there would be portraits of
Chief Justices and celebrated Q.C.'s in the costumes of their rank, so
in a Missioners' College you have pictures of Celebrated Martyrs in the
peculiar Costumes of their particular torments. It's a regular business,
with _you_ I mean, not so much with Protestants. We do it more
comfortably. With us it's rather a question of a foreign appointment,
with a good income.
_The Signor._ Vell--(_considering_). I am ongry. Let us go an' eat
some-sing.
[Illustration: ETRE MARTYR .... SON METIER.]