If, Belford, thou likest not my plot upon Miss Howe, I have three or four
more as good in my own opinion; better, perhaps, they will be in thine:
and so 'tis but getting loose from thy present engagement, and thou shalt
pick and choose. But as for thy three brethren, they must do as I would
have them: and so, indeed, must thou--Else why am I your general? But I
will refer this subject to its proper season. Thou knowest, that I never
absolutely conclude upon a project, till 'tis time for execution; and
then lightning strikes not quicker than I.
And now to the subject next my heart.
Wilt thou believe me, when I tell thee, that I have so many contrivances
rising up and crowding upon me for preference, with regard to my
Gloriana, that I hardly know which to choose?--I could tell thee of no
less than six princely ones, any of which must do. But as the dear
creature has not grudged giving me trouble, I think I ought not, in
gratitude, to spare combustibles for her; but, on the contrary, to make
her stare and stand aghast, by springing three or four mines at once.
Thou remembrest what Shakespeare, in his Troilus and Cressida, makes
Hector, who, however, is not used to boast, say to Achilles in an
interview between them; and which, applied to this watchful lady, and to
the vexation she has given me, and to the certainty I now think I have of
subduing her, will run thus: supposing the charmer before me; and I
meditating her sweet person from head to foot:
Henceforth, O watchful fair-one, guard thee well:
For I'll not kill thee there! nor there! nor there!
But, by the zone that circles Venus' waist,
I'll kill thee ev'ry where; yea, o'er and o'er.--
Thou, wisest Belford, pardon me this brag:
Her watchfulness draws folly from my lips;
But I'll endeavour deeds to match the words,
Or I may never----
Then I imagine thee interposing to qualify my impatience, as Ajax did to
Achilles:
----Do not chafe thee, cousin:
----And let these threats alone,
Till accident or purpose bring thee to it.
All that vexes me, in the midst of my gloried-in devices, is, that there
is a sorry fellow in the world, who has presumed to question, whether the
prize, when obtained, is worthy of the pains it costs me: yet knows, with
what patience and trouble a bird-man will spread an acre of ground with
gins and snares; set up his stalking horse, his glasses; plant his decoy-
birds, and invite the feathered throng by his whistle; and all his prize
at last (the reward of early hours, and of a whole morning's pains) only
a simple linnet.
To be serious, Belford, I must acknowledge, that all our pursuits, from
childhood to manhood, are only trifles of different sort and sizes,
proportioned to our years and views: but then is not a fine woman the
noblest trifle, that ever was or could be obtained by man?--And to what
purpose do we say obtained, if it be not in the way we wish for?--If a man
is rather to be her prize, than she his?
***
And now, Belford, what dost think?