A pitiful fellow! Such a ridiculous kind of pity his, as those silly
souls have, who would not kill an innocent chicken for the world; but
when killed to their hands, are always the most greedy devourers of it.
Now this letter gives the servant the small-pox: and she has given it to
her unhappy vapourish lady. Vapourish people are perpetual subjects for
diseases to work upon. Name but the malady, and it is theirs in a
moment. Ever fitted for inoculation.--The physical tribe's milch-cows.
--A vapourish or splenetic patient is a fiddle for the doctors; and they
are eternally playing upon it. Sweet music does it make them. All their
difficulty, except a case extraordinary happens, (as poor Mrs.
Fretchville's, who has realized her apprehensions,) is but to hold their
countenance, while their patient is drawing up a bill of indictment
against himself;--and when they have heard it, proceed to punish--the
right word for prescribe. Why should they not, when the criminal has
confessed his guilt?--And punish they generally do with a vengeance.
Yet, silly toads too, now I think of it. For why, when they know they
cannot do good, may they not as well endeavour to gratify, as to
nauseate, the patient's palate?
Were I a physician, I'd get all the trade to myself: for Malmsey, and
Cyprus, and the generous product of the Cape, a little disguised, should
be my principal doses: as these would create new spirits, how would the
revived patient covet the physic, and adore the doctor!
Give all the paraders of the faculty whom thou knowest this hint.--There
could but one inconvenience arise from it. The APOTHECARIES would find
their medicines cost them something: but the demand for quantities would
answer that: since the honest NURSE would be the patient's taster;
perpetually requiring repetitions of the last cordial julap.
Well, but to the letter--Yet what need of further explanation after the
hints in my former? The widow can't be removed; and that's enough: and
Mennell's work is over; and his conscience left to plague him for his own
sins, and not another man's: and, very possibly, plague enough will give
him for those.
This letter is directed, To Robert Lovelace, Esq. or, in his absence, to
his Lady. She has refused dining with me, or seeing me: and I was out
when it came. She opened it: so is my lady by her own consent, proud and
saucy as she is.
I am glad at my heart that it came before we entirely make up. She would
else perhaps have concluded it to be contrived for a delay: and now,
moreover, we can accommodate our old and new quarrels together; and
that's contrivance, you know. But how is her dear haughty heart humbled
to what it was when I knew her first, that she can apprehend any delays
from me; and have nothing to do but to vex at them!
I came in to dinner. She sent me down the letter, desiring my excuse for
opening it.--Did it before she was aware. Lady-pride, Belford!
recollection, then retrogradation!
I requested to see her upon it that moment.--But she desires to suspend
our interview till morning. I will bring her to own, before I have done
with her, that she can't see me too often.
My impatience was so great, on an occasion so unexpected, that I could
not help writing to tell her, 'how much vexed I was at the accident: but
that it need not delay my happy day, as that did not depend upon the
house. [She knew that before, she'll think; and so did I.] And as Mrs.
Fretchville, by Mr. Mennell, so handsomely expressed her concern upon it,
and her wishes that it could suit us to bear with the unavoidable delay,
I hoped, that going down to The Lawn for two or three of the summer-
months, when I was made the happiest of men, would be favourable to all
round.'
The dear creature takes this incident to heart, I believe: She has sent
word to my repeated request to see her notwithstanding her denial, that
she cannot till the morning: it shall be then at six o'clock, if I
please!
To be sure I do please!
Can see her but once a day now, Jack!
Did I tell thee, that I wrote a letter to my cousin Montague, wondering
that I heard not from Lord M. as the subject was so very interesting! In
it I acquainted her with the house I was about taking; and with Mrs.
Fretchville's vapourish delays.
I was very loth to engage my own family, either man or woman, in this
affair; but I must take my measures securely: and already they all think
as bad of me as they well can. You observe by my Lord M.'s letter to
yourself, that the well-manner'd peer is afraid I should play this
admirable creature one of my usual dog's tricks.