It is not usual I believe for our sex to answer by pen and ink the first
letter on these occasions. The first letter! How odd is that! As if I
expected another; which I do not. But then I think, as I do not judge
proper to encourage your proposal, there is no reason why I should not
answer in civility, where so great a civility is intended. Indeed, I was
always of opinion that a person was entitled to that, and not to ill
usage, because he had a respect for me. And so I have often and often
told my daughter.
A woman I think makes but a poor figure in a man's eye afterwards, and
does no reputation to her sex neither, when she behaves like a tyrant to
him beforehand.
To be sure, Sir, if I were to change my condition, I know not a gentleman
whose proposal could be more agreeable. Your nephew and your nieces have
enough without you: my daughter has a fine fortune without me, and I
should take care to double it, living or dying, were I to do such a
thing: so nobody need to be the worse for it. But Nancy would not think
so.
All the comfort I know of in children, is, that when young they do with
us what they will, and all is pretty in them to their very faults; and
when they are grown up, they think their parents must live for them only;
and deny themselves every thing for their sakes. I know Nancy could not
bear a father-in-law. She would fly at the very thought of my being in
earnest to give her one. Not that I stand in fear of my daughter
neither. It is not fit I should. But she has her poor papa's spirit.
A very violent one that was. And one would not choose, you know, Sir, to
enter into any affair, that, one knows, one must renounce a daughter for,
or she a mother--except indeed one's heart were much in it; which, I
bless God, mine is not.
I have now been a widow these ten years; nobody to controul me: and I am
said not to bear controul: so, Sir, you and I are best as we are, I
believe: nay, I am sure of it: for we want not what either has; having
both more than we know what to do with. And I know I could not be in the
least accountable for any of my ways.
My daughter indeed, though she is a fine girl, as girls go, (she has too
much sense indeed for one of her sex, and knows she has it,) is more a
check to me than one would wish a daughter to be: for who would choose to
be always snapping at each other? But she will soon be married; and
then, not living together, we shall only come together when we are
pleased, and stay away when we are not; and so, like other lovers, never
see any thing but the best sides of each other.
I own, for all this, that I love her dearly; and she me, I dare say: so
would not wish to provoke her to do otherwise. Besides, the girl is so
much regarded every where, that having lived so much of my prime a widow,
I would not lay myself open to her censures, or even to her indifference,
you know.
Your generous proposal requires all this explicitness. I thank you for
your good opinion of me. When I know you acquiesce with this my civil
refusal [and indeed, Sir, I am as much in earnest in it, as if I had
spoken broader] I don't know but Nancy and I may, with your permission,
come to see your fine things; for I am a great admirer of rarities that
come from abroad.
So, Sir, let us only converse occasionally as we meet, as we used to do,
without any other view to each other than good wishes: which I hope may
not be lessened for this declining. And then I shall always think myself
Your obliged servant,
ANNABELLA HOWE.
P.S. I sent word by Mrs. Lorimer, that I would write an answer: but
would take time for consideration. So hope, Sir, you won't think it a
slight, I did not write sooner.