COST OF ORDER.
In making molds and rests for mangled limbs, I had large demands for
little cushions, and without economy could not get enough. When one just
fitted a place I wanted to keep it, and to do this, must have it aired,
perhaps washed. To avoid lint dressings, I hunted pieces of soft, table
linen, gave to patients pieces to suit, and as the supply was short they
would get nurses and surgeons to leave their pieces of linen, after
dressing their wounds until I should take charge, and have them cleansed
for next time. To do all this, I must use the grass-plats and railings
for airing and drying cushions and rags. These plats and railings were
for ornament, and there was soon a protest against putting them to "such
vile uses." I had gone into the hospital with the stupid notion that its
primary object was the care and comfort of the sick and wounded. It was
long after that I learned that a vast majority of all benevolent
institutions are gotten up to gratify the asthetic tastes of the public;
exhibit the wealth and generosity of the founders, and furnish places
for officers. The beneficiaries of the institutions are simply an
apology for their existence, and having furnished that apology, the less
said about them the better.
The surgeons of Campbell did really want its patients to be happy and
get well; but it was a model institution, with a reputation to sustain;
was part of a system under general laws, which might not be broken with
impunity. There was no law against a man dying for want of sleep from
pain caused by misplaced muscle; but the statutes against litter were
inexorable as those of the Medes and Persians. The Campbell surgeons
winked at my litter, until one regular inspection day, when my cushions
and rags, clean and unclean, those marked John Smith, and those labeled
Tom Brown, were all huddled up and stuffed _en masse_ into the pantry
closet.
I used to wonder if the Creator had invented a new variety of idiot, and
made a lot in order to supply the army with medical inspectors, or, if
by some cunning military device, the Surgeon-General had been able to
select all those conglomerations of official dignity and asinine
stupidity, from the open donkey-market of the world. Inspecting a
hospital was just like investigating an Indian fraud. The man whose work
was to be inspected or investigated, met the inspector or investigator
at the door, showed him all he wished him to see and examine witnesses
wholly in his power--when the inspected and inspector, the investigated
and investigator exchanged compliments, and the public were gratified to
learn that all was in a most gratifying condition of perfect order.
One day we had a particularly searching inspection, and next day nurse
told me of some four new cases which had been brought in a week before,
one of whom the inspectors said was past hope. I found his feet and
legs with, a crust on them like the shell of a snail; had a piece of
rubber cloth laid under them, and with tepid water, a good crash towel,
and plenty of rubbing, got down to the skin, which I rubbed well with
lard. Then with fresh towels and water at hand, I drew away the sheet in
which the patient had rolled his head, and while I washed his head and
arms and breast, I talked, and he tried to answer; but it was some time
before he could steady his tongue and lips so as to articulate, and when
he did, his first words were:
"Are you the woman that's been a-washin' my feet?"
"That is exactly what I have been doing, and much need they had of it.
Do you not think you are a pretty fellow to have me come all the way
from Minnesota to wash your feet?"
It was with much effort he could fix his dazed eyes on my face, and he
made several pitiful attempts before he succeeded in saying:
"I think ye'r the best woman that ever I saw!"
"Ah, that is because you never saw much, away out there in Venango
county, Pennsylvania, where you live. There are thousands of better
women than I, running around hunting work, in this part of the country."
"Is there?"
"Yes, indeed; and nothing for them to do!"
"I never saw none uv 'em!"
"That is because you have had your head rolled up in that sheet. Just
keep your head uncovered, so you can breathe this nice, fresh air; open
your eyes every little while, and you will see a whole row of those
women, all hunting work!"
He seemed quite interested, and when I had done washing and given
directions to a nurse to cleanse the balance of his person, I asked if
there was anything more I could do for him, when he stammered:
"Not unless you could get me a cup of tea--a cup of good green tea,
'thout any milk or sugar in it. If you do, I'll pay you for it."
"Pay me for it, will you? and how much will you give me--three cents?"
"Oh, I'll give you twenty-five cents."
"Twenty-five cents for a cup of good green tea, without any milk or
sugar in it!"
I called the ward to witness the bargain, said I should grow rich at
that rate, and hurried off for the tea.
I had a little silver tray and tea-set, with two china cups. Mrs.
Gangewer, of the Ohio Aid Society, had sent me a tin tea-kettle and
spirit-lamp; folks at a distance had sent plenty of the best tea; and
that little tea-tray had become a prominent feature of Campbell long
before this poor fellow specified his want. I made the tray unusually
attractive that day, and fed him his tea from a spoon, while he admired
the tiny pot, out of which, with the aid of the kettle, I could furnish
twenty cups of good tea. When I had served all in that ward who wanted
tea, the first one took a second cup, and while taking it his skin grew
moist, and I knew he was saved from that death of misplaced matter
vulgarly called "dirt," to which well-paid medical inspectors had
consigned him, while giving their invaluable scientific attention to
floor-scrubbing and bed-making, to whitewashing and laundry-work.
I doubt if there were a Medical Inspector in the army who was not a
first rate judge of the art of folding and ironing a sheet or
pillow-slip; of the particular tuck which brought out the outlines of
the corners of a mattress, as seen through a counterpane; and of the art
and mystery of cleaning a floor. It did seem as if they had all reached
office through their great proficiency as cabin-boys.
Next day I went to that ward with my tea-tray; and after learning that
that man had been washed once more, asked him if he wanted another cup
of tea.
"I'd like to have one," he stammered; "but I didn't pay you for the last
one, and I can't find my wallet!"
I saw the debt troubled him, and took this as one more evidence that
somewhere there were people who sold hospital stores to sick soldiers.
So I took pains to explain that he owed me nothing; that the tea was
his--ladies had sent it to me to give to him--and all the pay they
wanted was for him to get well, and go home to his mother.
The idea that some one was thinking for him seemed to do him almost as
much good as the tea.
I left Campbell next day, but on my first visit found him convalescing,
and on the second visit he ran down the ward holding his sides and
laughing, and I saw or heard of him no more.