CHAPTER XIX

Inanimate things, the poets to the contrary, do not share human moods.

When Loring returned to his desk in the office the typewriter, instead

of showing the least sympathy, behaved abominably. Ordinarily the letter

“J” on a well-constructed machine is on the side, and little used. But

this afternoon it seemed to insist on beginning every word, and the

effect on the business letters which should have been composed was

not beneficial. But this is perhaps explained by the few terse words

concluding the pamphlet of directions which accompanied the machine:

“No machine ever made is _fool proof_.” So Loring had the extra task of

carefully proofreading all his letters. Being in love always has one of

two effects on a man’s work. He either does twice as much work half as

well, or half as much work twice as well; but no man truly in love has

been able to reverse these, and double both his zeal and efficiency. This

kind of inspiration has a singular disregard for detail, and when it

does deign to notice the minute side of things, it magnifies them to such

an extent that the ultimate aim is likely to be obscured. As proof of the

above statement, between luncheon and supper time, Stephen accomplished

twice his usual amount of work with a little less than half his customary

efficiency.

His work done, Loring banged the cover onto the typewriter with a little

more force than was necessary, for if inanimate things cannot share

moods, they are still delightful objects on which to vent overwrought

feelings. Stephen’s hat was on the table behind the swivel chair, and

it was characteristic of him that he used great exertion to secure it

without rising, twisting the chair into positions which defied all the

laws of gravity. Having set the soft hat at its accustomed slightly

tilted angle, he lit his pipe and frowned at the garish appearance of

the yellow oak of his desk. Then he rose with the indecisive motion of

one who, when on his feet, wonders why he has left his chair. Ordinarily

Stephen was a trifle late at supper on account of staying to lock up the

office, and to-night from an illogical dread of the thing which he half

longed for, half wished to avoid, a talk with Jean, he did not reach the

table until all the others had left.

Wah glided in from the kitchen with a fresh pot of coffee which he set

before Stephen, together with the choicest selections from the supper

which he had as usual saved for him. When Loring rose from the table,

leaving the larger portion of his meal uneaten, Wah looked at him

reproachfully from the inscrutable depths of his slanting eyes.

Baird Radlett, Jean, and a few others were still gathered on the porch

when Stephen stepped outside. They were gazing intently down the valley

to the westward at the glorious afterglow in the sky, where, but an

instant before, the red rim of the sun had flashed before dipping behind

the hills. All were silent with that quietness which is brought forth by

moments of absolute beauty. Loring’s step and voice aroused them, and

all save Jean turned quickly. Baird saw a color in Jean’s cheeks far

richer and softer than the deep rose hue in the skies. He glanced quickly

from her to the man standing above her, who was looking down at her with

adoration in his gaze. For one second his love for the girl battled with

his friendship for the man, and Radlett realized the full bitterness

of the sacrifice that he was making. Then friendship conquered, and he

comprehended and sympathized with the sorrow which to-night made Loring’s

face look singularly old.

Stephen stayed with them only a few minutes before returning to the

office to play the old, old game of burying thought beneath routine.

Radlett and Jean were left alone on the steps. Baird watched Stephen

until he was hidden by the angle of the office.

“Loring,” he said suddenly, turning to Jean, “has been working fifteen

hours a day for the last six months. He cannot stand it. I am afraid for

him.”

“Afraid for his—for his—” she hesitated moment, “for his health?”

“Yes, and only for his health,”, answered Radlett decisively. He rose to

his feet as if to gain strength for what he was going to say. Then he

seated himself again on the step beside her. Drawing a deep breath he

began: “Jean, you are not looking well, either.”

Jean murmured something about the fatigue of the journey from the East.

“No,” said Radlett firmly, “it is not that. It is something deeper than

that. You know it is, and I know it, too, so let there be no concealments

between us!”

“What do you know? How do you know it?” Jean stammered.

“A man knows some things by instinct,” Radlett answered. “I think I

should have found this out before long, anyhow; but your face, dear, is

not good at concealments, and when I saw your eyes, which had been sad

from the time we met in Tucson, suddenly light at the sight of Loring in

the office here, when heard the little catch in your voice (Jean, I know

every tone of your voice by heart) and when I saw and heard you, I knew!”

“Oh, Baird!”

“Never mind,” exclaimed Radlett, “we will not talk of that any more.

I only wanted you to understand that we must be quite frank with each

other, and that thus everything will come out right. Now tell me how

things stand with you.”

“How can I, Baird? To you, of all people?”

“You can and you must, just because I am I and you are you, and your

happiness concerns me more than anything in the world. You love Stephen

Loring. You are miserable about him. Why?”

“I will tell you,” answered Jean slowly, looking intently out into the

darkness. “I will tell you why I am afraid for him, because you are his

friend as you are mine, and you will understand. I am afraid that it is

only for my sake that he has made his reform, and I told him to-day that

I did not quite trust him, and that—oh, Baird, you must understand!”

Radlett bowed his head in grave assent. “Yes, I understand.”

“But,” Jean went on, “if you think that this will cause him to fall

again, I cannot bear it; for Baird, I do care for him, and if this is his

last chance, I will give it to him.”

Radlett grasped her hand firmly in his own and bent over her. No crisis

of his life had ever taxed his self-control like this.

“Jean,” he said slowly, “he does not need you. Do you suppose that if

he did I should think him worthy the great gift of your love?” Baird’s

voice broke, in spite of himself; but he controlled it and went on:

“Stephen has fought his fight and won it as it must be won—_alone_. Do

you know what he has been since he left your father? Do you know of the

way he behaved in that fight in Mexico, of the way in which he has saved

the mine here, of the strength, the powers, the self-discipline that

he has shown. It must be something stronger than his love for a woman

that will save such a man as Loring, when he has once started down hill.

Stephen had that ‘something stronger.’ God help him, it cut to the bone!

Since that accident, Loring has never been quite his old self. I am

afraid he never will be, that he will always be under a cloud, but Jean,

it saved him. He has won his fight without you, and for that reason he

is worthy of you.” Baird felt the fingers in his own tighten in their

grasp. “Jean,” he went on, “you know how I have cared for you ever since

we were children, and how, although you did not care,” he cut short her

protestation quickly, “and how although you did not care in that way, I

love you now above anything on earth.”

The tears gathered hot in Jean’s eyes.

“You know that as I told you a moment ago your happiness is the highest

thing in the world to me, and I say to you: if you love Stephen, marry

him. If you do not love him, then I am sorry for him, but I am not afraid

for him. I am proud of him.”

“He must be a man, Baird, to have such a friend as you.”

A deep silence fell between them. Then Radlett rose suddenly, for he knew

his endurance could stand no more. He bent over her hand and kissed it

tenderly. Then with a heart-rendingly cheerful “good night,” he strode

off into the darkness towards his quarters.

For an hour Jean sat on the steps, watching the lights of the camp, as

one by one they were extinguished, until one light alone burned. It was

in the window of the office. There she knew a man was working steadily

and bravely, and her heart beat irregularly as the realization came, that

it was the man whom with her whole heart she loved and trusted for all

the future, whatever might have been the past. The hot blood came surging

into her cheeks only to recede and leave them pale.

Rising, she walked slowly across to the office. She hesitated a moment,

her hand on the door-knob, then throwing back her head proudly, she

opened the door softly and entered. Her bearing was that of a soldier who

surrenders without prejudice to his pride.

Loring was bending over his work and did not see her as she stood in

the doorway. She watched his pen toiling over the paper before him. The

drooping dejection in his whole attitude cried out to her of his need for

her.

“Stephen!” she half whispered.

The man jumped to his feet, startled by the sound of the voice of which

he had been thinking. He turned to her, his face white and tense with the

strain of wonder and surprise. In three steps he crossed the room to her.

“Is anything wrong?” he exclaimed anxiously.

“Yes, something is wrong,” she answered, looking steadily into his eyes.

“I was wrong. I told you that I did not trust you. I do.”

“Jean,” he gasped, half suffocated. “Do you mean that after I had broken

my word to you at Quentin, you could possibly forgive?”

“I forgave that at the time.”

His face was drawn with the conflict between an impossible hope and a

desperate fear.

“That was the only time in my life that I ever broke my word, Jean, but

breaking it to you made it impossible for you to believe in me. You told

me so this morning, and I realized it. You forgive me that now,” he

cried, with a sudden flash of intuition, “because you are afraid that in

losing you, I shall lose myself again. Jean, though you are all there is

in life for me, I will not let you sacrifice yourself to your splendid

sympathy. Dearest, can’t you see that, as you said; if there were a

shadow of doubt on your mind you could never be happy with me?”

“It was not what you think which made me say I did not trust you. It was

something, Stephen, which I know would be impossible in the man you are

now. I could not put your dishonesty to your guardian out of my mind,

until I realized that that was no more a part of the Stephen Loring I

know now than the faults which I had forgiven.”

Loring looked at her in amazement. “My dishonesty towards my guardian?”

he exclaimed. “Jean, dear, what do you mean?”

“I was told,” she said sadly, “that you had borrowed heavily from him,

and never returned the loan; but we can pay it back together,” she went

on bravely.

“Jean, every cent that I ever borrowed, I paid him when I came into my

own money. I don’t know or care where you heard the story, but the only

part of it that is true is that I did abuse his good nature and ask him

to advance me out of his own fortune the amount that he held in trust for

me.” The impossible hope conquered the fear in his face. He seized both

of her hands in his and spoke breathlessly.

“Jean, dearest, was that why you did not trust me?”

She looked up at him with her eyes glowing with a new feeling. The love

that had sprung from pity had grown into the love based on pride.

“Do not let us talk of that now,” she whispered, “but of the

present—and—and the future!”

Stephen drew her to him with a passion which only those who have

despaired can feel. He bowed his head and kissed her as for months he had

dreamed of doing. He trembled violently as his lips met hers; trembled

with wonder, with adoration, with perfect happiness. He held her tightly

in his arms, as though afraid that all was not real, that he might yet

lose her, as if he drew strength and life from the heart that beat

against his own.

The present redeemed the past and glorified the future. Through sin

and shame, through failure and humiliation, he had at last found his

strength, and before him in golden promise stretched the up grade.

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THE ILLUSTRIOUS PRINCE

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Illustrated by G. Patrick Nelson and Beulah Strong

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The Up Grade · 第 19 / 19 章