TEA-TABLE AND POLITICS
There were three parties assembled around the tea-table, bluff Captain
Thomas Lanyan, a brother of Sir James, a sturdy old widower; Mistress
Betty Lanyan--a spinster and a distant relative of the family, and
Master Richard--a young man in his last year in Eton and the perfect
counterpart of his father, only much younger.
Mistress Betty was tall and angular, like Sir James, yet with a good
supply of feminine sweetness in her features. The sole drawback to her
countenance was her nose, that was neither a thing of beauty nor grace.
It was of the large hooked variety, so common to the family. Yet so
strange are the freaks of Madam Nature, that the eagle nose of Sir James
was universally commended as giving him the commanding and dignified
appearance of a statesman; while one of the same variety on the
countenance of Mistress Betty was considered exceedingly derogatory and
shrewish. Notwithstanding this detractive feature, Mistress Betty was a
good-hearted soul. She always had, at least in company, that mellow
smile on her face that gave a vivid reality to the stanza,
"Full many a flower is born to blush unseen,
And waste its fragrance on the desert air."
The Captain was moulded more like his mother's side of the house. Clear
grey eyes lighted up a countenance that was rugged and weather-beaten,
while the family nose was absent and in its place was the straight,
plain variety characteristic of his mother's family. Over his forehead
was a long, livid scar that ran from the centre of the forehead,
obliquely, to the right ear, a cavalry slash of the battle of Waterloo.
Mistress Betty always persisted in having this covered by the Captain's
waving grey hair, but the Captain would just as persistently throw his
hair up and to one side, revealing the full extent of his old wound.
What Mistress Betty was ashamed of was the Captain's glory. Captain Tom
lived in tolerable contentment on a government pension, and of all the
family, none were upon such intimate terms with the squire as himself.
"Ah, Captain Tom, what cheer?" said the Squire as he cordially shook the
hand of the veteran. "And Master Richard, you are quite a man and every
inch like your father. And Mistress Betty, I hope I see you well," and
the squire made a profound bow that would shame an old-time knight, at
the same time grasping her small hand delicately with his own.
The salutations were returned and then, seated around the tea-table that
was placed near the immense bow-window, the master of Lanyan requested
his guest to pronounce the blessing. The squire, who was seated beside
Mistress Betty, perhaps designedly, who knows, for that lady had not
given up the custom of angling, proceeded according to his usual custom.
"We thank thee----Oh! zounds and the devil!"
The latter part was like the explosion of a battery of artillery, and
with reason. Mistress Betty's lap-dog, an unsightly brute, deeming
himself insulted by the proximity of the squire, or perhaps jealous of
his mistress' attentions to another--like many a human rejected suitor
filled with vengeful spleen, or perhaps--kept waiting for his
dinner--and seeing a fat limb much larger than the usual chicken leg
near him, he decided to forage for himself. Whatever reason he had
within him, the results were the same, for he fastened his teeth most
vindictively in the squire's nankeen trowsers. Human nature was not
proof against such an assault, and the victim gave vent to the above
startling and most unseemly expression. He leaped up from the table,
slapping and rubbing the affected part to relieve the pain.
The young Etonian had a grin on his generally calm countenance. Captain
Tom with more zeal than wisdom grasped the poker and shoved it through
the bars of the grate, saying that they had best have the wound
cauterised at once. Sir James was profuse in apologies and Mistress
Betty, much vexed, hurried the snarling brute into the library.
"This is out--outrageous," faltered the squire, in the midst of his
pain; "such a savage brute, I wonder why you don't have him killed, Sir
James."
"Cruel man, to abuse poor Caesar so," said Mistress Betty, with a flash
of the eye.
"Zounds, madam," replied the squire, but he went no further. His
inherent courtesy to ladies, and the appearance of Captain Tom with the
hot poker, caused him to beat a hasty retreat to the table.
With a smile of anguish he sat down, saying, "It is nothing, madam,
nothing, Captain Tom--I do assure you--no need of cauterising--the pain
has already gone."
Captain Tom very reluctantly replaced the poker, and soon they were all
seated, chatting merrily, as if nothing had happened. The squire,
occasionally slipping his hand beneath the table and giving the smarting
limb a soothing rub, talked as cheerfully as the rest.
"And you won't stand for re-election," said the squire to Sir James.
"Not at present; the times are not yet ripe for reform and we must have
a more extended suffrage before I can stand with success," said Sir
James, helping himself to another lump of sugar and dropping it
carefully into his cup with the air of a sage.
"Fudge," said Captain Tom, "the country doesn't need extended suffrage.
Why, brother James, if your ideas go into effect the landed estates will
be ruined. We have seen enough of those things over there in France. The
people got extended suffrage and the king and the gentlemen got the
suffering. Bah!" said Captain Tom in some disdain, "the landed estates
must rule, pass out of existence, or give place to a Napoleon," and the
Captain thumped the table emphatically with the sugar tongs.
"What a sage student of history you are, Captain Tom, and yet there are
some things yet to learn. The revolution in France was not caused by
their obtaining the suffrage, but by the retention of suffrage from them
until they arose in revolt. A fortunate thing is it for the government
that yields to the demands of the people and is not compelled to yield.
When the proper form of government is in vogue, then there will be no
occasion for the people demanding or of the government yielding.
Government should stand halfway between the highest pinnacle and the
broadest base of the populace."
"Why, Sir James, you surprise me!" ejaculated the squire; "you may as
well turn American with those ideas! Tut--tut!" followed by a
disapproving shake of the head.
"A vast discrepancy between Americanism and my ideal. Government in
America stands upon a broad base, but is not as truly representative as
our own government will become in a few years."
"You speak in riddles, Sir James," replied the squire.
"Well, let me explain. Strictly speaking, there is no real
representative government. Even in America, women, negroes and Indians
are not represented; neither among those that are represented is there
any fair proportion of representation. Jefferson, their great sage,
wrote the most foolish thing imaginable when he said 'all men are
created free and equal.' It is evident that the opposite is the case.
All men are different, different in physical strength, mental power,
culture, attainments. Even in infanthood they are different. Equality
is nowhere on earth, neither in the vegetable nor animal kingdom. It is
a manifest injustice then to alter the plan of the Creator."
"Aye, aye, now you are coming around to our opinion," said Captain Tom.
"Not at all. Our present conservative system is wrong and unsafe.
Government is resting on the highest pinnacle of the populace, from
which position it may easily be deposed."
"Pshaw," said the squire, "I can't understand you; I thought you said
our government was more representative than the American."
"No. I said it will be in a few years. In America the Church is not
represented, neither are the institutions of learning--although they
ought to have some special representation as well as the States. Now
mark me well. In a few years, a decade at the most, the franchise will
be extended to the humblest shop owner, house owner and tenant, and only
the criminals and the utterly uneducated will have no voice in the
government. Then we will have a more representative government and a
more stable one than our American cousins. More representative, because
colleges, universities, the clergy, and large and small property owners
will have their respective portion of power; more safe because the
roughest and lowest element of society will not have a controlling and
dominating influence. How is it now, however? The landed proprietors and
men of influence pack our House of Commons as they please. Everyone
knows of Old Sarum--that it hasn't a single inhabitant, and yet it
sends a member to the Commons, while Manchester, Leeds and Birmingham
have no voice whatever in the affairs of the nation. We must have an
extended suffrage. The people want it," and Sir James silenced his
batteries.
"Well, so far as I can see," said Captain Tom, doggedly returning to the
charge "the people are not demanding anything. Our people are
comfortable and happy. Corn has arisen in price and our farmers are
growing rich."
"Aye," said the squire, "so far as I can see, things are pretty
prosperous. Corn has risen to fifty shillings per quarter."
"Ah," said Sir James, contemptuously, "what benefit is it for Cousin
Jack in Cornwall to have a full stomach, and Tom in York and Devon to
have an empty one? Fine national prosperity, that. Squire, you are
interested in your own section, Captain Tom reads nothing but war news,
and so both of you are blind to the signs of the times. The memory of
the Blanketeers is still before the public and the pulse of the middle
classes is mounting higher and higher. What signify the riots of last
year and the affair of Peterloo?"
"A set of rebellious knaves, that need the hand of the Iron Duke to
teach them their manners," replied Captain Tom, who was indignant to be
accused of ignorance on national affairs. "A set of rebellious knaves,
but where do you find gentlemen marching side by side in a cause with
such a rabble."
"William Cobbet, the journalist," rejoined Sir James.
"Aye, a ploughman," sniffed Captain Tom, in some disdain.
"Aye, and more than a ploughman," added young Master Richard. "There's
Sir Francis Burdette, Lord Brougham, the great Canning, Lord John
Russell, Grenville, and Earl Grey--and Canning and Grey were Etonians."
The last part was uttered with a little triumph in the tone.
"Ah, the young cock is beginning to crow," said Captain Tom, who knew
not what else to reply.
Sir James looked pleased at this heavy broadside from his son and then
again took up the reform cudgel, saying: "Very true, and even the
younger Pitt over twenty years ago agitated the subject."
Here the squire thought it time to assist his friend, Captain Tom, and
also show that he was not destitute of knowledge on national affairs.
"Tut, tut, that is a bad argument; Pitt abandoned his position as
untenable, and----"
"Aye, he knew he couldn't hold the position and retreated as a sensible
general should," interrupted Tom.
"Because of the excesses of the French revolution," replied Sir James.
The spirited debate went on with varying success to either party,
Mistress Betty participating, sometimes on one side, and at times on the
other, always sympathising with the weaker party, as women generally do.
Toward the close, Captain Tom and the squire being hopelessly put to
rout by the combined wisdom of Etonian and parliamentarian, she
faithfully adhered to the former side, until even Captain Tom was forced
to admit that, though a woman was of no service in a battle, yet they
made pretty fair tongue-soldiers.
"Well," said the squire, as he was preparing to go, "your remarks, Sir
James, have convinced me of one thing, and that is your sincere
disinterestedness in self and your love for old England and her welfare.
You are a statesman, sir, and we shall soon see if we can't place you in
Parliament; aye, Tory or Liberal,--what matter--so long as the man is
honest and capable."
Now this was exactly what Sir James had expected, and he shook hands
cordially.
"Hold on, squire, we must have James there as a Tory. I don't believe he
is as much a Liberal at heart as he pretends. Don't surrender the
standard, squire," said Captain Tom.
A servant was holding in readiness the squire's cob, and assisted him to
mount. Raising his hat, gallantly, to Mistress Betty, and waving an
adieu to the others he paced briskly down the drive and out on the
highway.
"What a courteous gentleman, and young, though he is a widower,"
murmured Mistress Betty. "Did you notice how, out of respect for my
feelings for Caesar, he didn't utter any complaint."
"Fudge," said Captain Tom, "that was due to his brave spirit in enduring
pain. What a soldier he would make!"
"Pshaw!" exclaimed young Master Richard, "the old gentleman thought
more of the hot poker than he did of courage or courtesy."
"It was courtesy," reaffirmed Mistress Betty.
"It was courage," exclaimed Tom.
"It was hot poker," reiterated the Etonian again and again, until under
a score of reproaches from Mistress Betty and Captain Tom,--the former
emphasising the courtesy, the latter the courage of the squire,--he
found safety in speedy retreat.
Sir James said nothing until after Master Richard's exit, and then he
broached the squire's desire of an alliance between the families.
"It seems we'll get the estates of the Manor in our family after all,
and by a much more honourable method than father tried. That deed always
did make me half ashamed of our name."
"Captain Tom," said Sir James, with a little of asperity in his voice,
"the plan that exposed a traitor was perfectly honourable."
"I have always had my doubts whether my old comrade, Major Tommy
Trembath, was a traitor, or his father either. They were both too honest
to be guilty of treason. Why, look at the record of old Captain Ande at
Culloden and Prestonpans. He was a hero. There he stood with Gardner at
Prestonpans, fighting gallantly until stricken down with overwhelming
numbers, and there was Major Tommy in the Peninsular campaigns. Aye, the
more I think of it the more am I inclined to disbelieve the report of
their treason,--but circumstances were against them," and the old
soldier sighed, and with a halting step, due to a wound--a relic of the
Napoleonic wars,--he tramped once or twice up and down the veranda. When
he ceased, the look of sadness was gone and a humorous twinkle was in
his eye. Around his weather-beaten countenance there was the faint trace
of a smile of merriment.
"However, it is a good plan,--this marriage--and--if Cousin Betty can
catch the squire we'll have a double claim on the Manor."
"Why, Captain Tom, how absurd!" exclaimed Mistress Betty, blushing
confusedly.
"A tell-tale blush! I'll have to tell my old friend, the squire, of his
opportunities to capture the stronghold of ages, that has remained
unconquered for----"
"How absurd!" exclaimed Mistress Betty, in mingled anger and confusion,
as she beat a hasty retreat to her apartments.