or
Poverty made known.
A Man may waste and spend away his store,
But if misery comes he has no help therefore,
This man that brought himself into decay,
Shews other Good fellows that they go not astray.
To the Tune of _Come hither my own sweet Duck_.
To all Good-Fellows now, [120.]
I mean to sing a Song,
I have wrought my own decay,
and have done myself great wrong:
In following the Ale-house,
I have spent away my store,
_Bad Company did me undo,
but i'le do so no more._
That man that haunts the Ale house,
and likewise the Drunken Crew,
Is in danger to dye a Beggar,
without any more ado;
Would I might be an Example
to all Good fellows sure;
_Bad Company &c_
I had a fair Estate of Land,
was worth forty pound a year,
I sold and Mortgaged all that,
and spent it in strong Beer:
My wife and friends could not rule me,
until I did wax poor.
_Bad Company &c_
[Illustration]
I came unto my Hostis,
and called for Liquor apace,
She saw my money was plenty,
and she smiled in my face:
If I said fill a Flaggon,
they set two upon the score,
_Bad Company &c_
I ranted night and day,
and I let my Money flye,
While my wife was almost dead with grief
to hear her Children cry:
For they were almost starv'd and pin'd
they wanted food so sore.
_Bad Company &c_
At two a Clock i' th' morn
I would come Drunken home,
And if my wife spoke but a word,
I'de kick her about the Room;
And domineer and swear,
and call her ---- and ----.
_Bad Company &c_
Then I fell sick upon the same,
and lay three months and more,
But never an Alewife in the Town,
would come within my door:
But my poor wife was my best friend,
and stuck to me therefore.
_Bad Company &c_
My wife she sold her Petticoat,
and pawn'd her Wedding Ring,
To relieve me in my misery,
in any kind of thing:
O was not I a woful man,
to waste and spend my store,
_And let my wife & children want at home
but I'le do so no more._
When I began to mend a little,
I walke to take the air,
And as I went along the Town,
I came by my Hostises door:
I askt her for to trust me two-pence,
she denyed me the more,
_The Money that I have spent with her,
but I'le do so no more._
As soon as I get strength agen
i'le fall to work apace,
To maintain my wife and children,
for my Hostises are base:
I see who is a mans best friend,
if he be sick or poor.
_Bad Company &c_
And when I do get money agen,
I'le learn for to be wise,
And not believe that Drunken Crew,
that filled my ears with lyes:
And carry it home unto my wife
and of my Children take more care.
_Bad Company &c_
He runs a very long Race
that never turns again;
And brings himself unto disgrace,
and has poverty for his pain;
But now I will be careful sure,
and forgo the Ale-house door.
_Bad Company &c_
Now to conclude and make an end
what I have put in Rhime,
That all Good-fellows they may se
to mend their lives in time:
And learn for to be Thrifty,
to save something by in store.
_Bad Company &c._
Printed for I. Deacon, at the Angel in Guilt Spur street, without
Newgate.
[110.] There dwelled not farre from Maister _Hobson_, two very ancient
women, the youngest of them both was above three score yeares of
age, and uppon a time sitting at the taverne together, they grew at
varience which of them should be the youngest (as women, indeede,
desier to be accompted younger than they be) in such manner that they
layd a good supper, of the valew of twenty shillings, for the truth
thereof, and Maister _Hobson_ they agreed upon to be their Judge of
the difference. So after Maister _Hobson_ had knowledge thereof, the
one came to him, and as a present gave him a very faire pidgion pye,
worth some five shillings, desiering him to passe the vardet[F. 233]
of her side; within a while after, the other came, and gave Maister
_Hobson_ a very faire grayhound, which kind of dogges he much
delighted in: praying him likewise to be favorable on her side,
wherefore hee gave judgment that the woman that gave him the grayhound
was the yonger, and so she wonn the supper of twenty shillings, Which
she perceiving, came to him and sayd, Sir, I gave you a pidgion pie,
and you promised the verdit should goe on my side. To whome Maister
_Hobson_ said, of a truth, good woman, there came a grayhound into
my house, and eate up the pidgion pye, and so by that meanes I quite
forgot thee.
[Footnote 233: Verdict.]
[103.] A Soldier Quartering in Cambridge, often observ'd a Young
Country Wench that Sold Piggs a Market Days, whereupon he went to her,
and desir'd to see some of her Pigs, she having several, he said, he
would have one alive, so she shewed him one that she had in a Bag.
Well, Sweet heart, said he, I live hard by, I will go and shew the Pig
to my Captain; if he like it, you shall have three shillings for it,
but in the mean time I will leave the Money with you; thus having got
the Pig tied up in the Bag, he went to his Lodging, and put in a Dog
in the Bag instead of it, and returning quickly to the Damsel, said
his Captain did not like the Pig, and therefore she took the Bag
without looking into it, and gave him his Money again. Not long after
came a French man in haste to buy a Pig, and he not liking those that
were dead, would have a live One; Sir, said she, I have one of the
same bigness alive, the Price of it is three Shillings, I will not
sell it a Farthing Cheaper; well, said he, if you will not, here is
your Money, but how shall I carry it? Why, for a Groat you shall have
the Poke and all. Poke, what is dat? said Monsieur. 'Tis a Bag. Is dat
de Poke? well here's a Groat. Thus away he goes with his Bargain home,
but when he comes to look in the Poke, he see the Dog, O de diable,
(said he) is dis de Pig? de Dible take me, if I do buy Pig in de Poke
agen.
_The Brewer._[F. 234]
Of all the trades that ever I see, [121.]
Theres none to the Brewer compared may be;
For so many several wayes works he,
_Which nobody can deny_.
A Brewer may put on a noble face,
And come to the wars with such a grace,
That he may obtain a Captains place;
_Which nobody can deny_.
A Brewer may speak so learnedly well,
And raise such stories for to tell,
That he may be come a Colonel;
_Which &c_
A Brewer may be a Parliament man,
For so his knavery first began,
And work the most cunning plots he can;
_Which &c_
A Brewer may be so bold a Hector,
That when he has drunk a cup of Nectar
He may become a Lord Protector;
_Which &c_
A Brewer may do all these things, you see,
Without controul, nay he may be
Lord Chancellor of the University:
_Which &c_
A Brewer may sit like a Fox in his cub,
And preach a Lecture out of a tub,
And give the world a wicked rub;
_Which &c_
But here remaines the strangest thing,
How he about his plots did bring,
That he should be Emperour above a King;
_Which no body can deny, deny;
Which no body dares deny._
[Footnote 234: A satire on Oliver Cromwell.]
[17.] Two Gentlemen riding from _Shipton_ to _Burford_ together, and
seeing the Miller of _Burford_ riding softly before on his sacks,
resolved to abuse him; so one went on one side of him, and t'other on
the other, saying Miller, now tell us, which art thou, more Knave or
Fool? Truly, says he, I know not which I am most but I think _I am
between both_.
[105.] On a time as _Scogin_ was riding to the Abbot of Bury, hee
asked of a Cowheard how far it was to Bury. The Cowheard said twenty
miles. May I, said _Scogin_, ride thither to night: yea, said the
Cowheard, if you ride not too fast, and also if you ride not a good
pace, you will be wet ere you come halfe waye there. As _Scogin_ was
riding on his way, he did see a cloud arise that was blacke, and being
afraid to be wet, he spurred his horse and did ride a great pace, and
riding so fast, his horse stumbled and strained his leg, and might not
goe. _Scogin_ revolving in his mind the Cowheards words, did set
up his horse at a poore mans house, and returned to the Cowheard,
supposing that he had beene a good Astronomer, because hee said, if
you ride not too fast, you may be at Bury tonight, and alsoe if you
doe not ride fast you shal be wet ere you come there. _Scogin_ said
to the Cowheard, what shall I give thee to tell mee, when I shall have
raine or faire weather? There goeth a bargain, said the Cowheard:
what wilt thou give me? _Scogin_ said, Twenty shillings. Nay, said
the Cowheard, for forty Shillings I will tell you and teach you, but I
will be paid first. Hold the money, said _Scogin_. The Cowheard said,
Sir, doe you see yonder Cow with the cut tail? Yea, said _Scogin_.
Sir, said the Cowheard, when that she doth begin to set up her rumpe,
and draw to a hedge or bush, within an houre after we shall have
raine: therefore take the Cow with you, and keepe her as I doe, and
you shall ever be sure to know when you shall have faire weather or
foule. Nay, said _Scogin_ keepe thy Cow still, and give me twenty
shillings of my mony. That is of my gentlenes saith the Cowheard,
howbeit you seeme to bee an honest man, there is twenty Shillings.
JOAN'S Ale is New;[F. 235] OR:
A new merry Medley, shewing the power, the strength, the operation,
and the vertue that remains in good Ale, which is accounted the
Mother-drink of _England_.
All you that do this merry Ditty view,
Taste of _Joan's_ Ale, for it is strong and new.
To a pleasant New Northern Tune.
[Illustration]
There was a jovial Tinker, [122.]
Which was a good Ale Drinker,
He never was a shrinker,
believe me this is true.
And he came from the wild[F. 236] of Kent,
When all his money was gone and spent,
Which made him like a Jack a Lent.
_And Jones Ale is new,
And Jones Ale is new Boys,
And Jones Ale is new._
The Tinker he did settle,
Most like a man of Mettle,
And vow'd to pawn his Kettle,
now mark what did ensue.
His Neibors they flockt in apace,
To see Tom Tinker's comely face,
Where they drank soundly for a space,
_Whilst Jones Ale &c_
The Cobler and the Broom-man,
Came next into the room man,
And said they would drink for boon man
let each one take his due.
But when good liquor they found,
They cast their caps upon the ground
And to the Tinker they drank round;
_Whilst Jones Ale &c_
The Rag man he being weary,
With the bundle he did carry,
He swore he would be merry,
and spend a shilling or two.
And he told his Hostis to her face,
The Chimney Corner was his place
And he began (to) drink apace.
_And Jones Ale &c_
The Pedler he grew nigher,
For it was his desire,
To throw the Rags i'th' fire,
and burn the bundle blew.
So whilst they drank whole flashes,
And threw about the Glasses,
The rags were burnt to ashes,
_And Jones Ale &c_
And then came in a Hatter,
To see what was the matter,
He scorned to drink cold water,
amongst that Jovial crew.
And like a man of courage stout,
He took the quart-pot by the snout,
And never left till all was out,
_O Jones Ale &c_
The Taylor being nimble
With Bodkin, Shears, and Thimble,
He did no whit dessemble,
I think his name was _True_
He said that he was like to choak,
And called so fast for lap and smoak,
Until he had pawned his Vinegar Cloake,
_For Jones Ale &c_
Then came a pittiful Porter,
Which often did resort there,
Quoth he i'le shew some sport here,
amongst this jovial crew.
The Porter he had very bad luck,
Before that it was ten o'clock,
The fool got drunk and lost his frock,
_For Jones Ale &c._
The bony brave Shoomaker,
A brave Tobacco taker,
He scorned to be a Quaker
I think his name was _Hugh_.
He called for liquor in so fast,
Till he forgot his Awl and Last,
And up the reckonings he did cast,
_Whilst Jones Ale &c_
And then came in the Weaver,
You never saw a braver,
With a Silk-man, and a Glover,
_Tom Tinker_ for to view
And so to welcome him to Town,
They every man spent half a crown,
And so the drink went merrily down,
_For Jones Ale &c_
Then came a drunken _Dutchman_,
And he would have a touch, man,
But he soon took too much, man,
which made them after rue.
He drank so long as I suppose,
Till greasie drops fell from his nose,
And like a beast befoul'd his hose,
_Whilst Jones Ale &c_
A Welshman he came next, Sir,
With joy and sorrow mixt Sir,
Who being partly vext Sir,
he out his dagger drew.
Cuts-plutter-a-nails, quoth _Taffie_ then,
A Welshman is a Shentleman
Come Hostis fill's the other Can,
_For Jones Ale &c._
Thus like to men of courage stout,
Courageously they drank about,
Till such time all the ale was out,
as I may say to you.
And when the business was done,
They every man departed home,
And promised Jone again to come,
when she had brew'd anew.