_Imprimis._ For three and twenty long Cloaks, at
Seven Pounds Ten Shillings, per Cloak,
to cover the Committee[F. 226] of Safety's
Knavery. 243. --. --
_Item._ For Six Dozen of large fine Holland
Handkerchiefs, with great French Buttons,
for the Lord _Fleetwood_, to wipe away the
Teares from his Excellencies Cheeks, at
Twenty Shillings per Handkerchief. 72. --. --
_Item_ Paid his young Daughters Musick-Master,
and Dancing Master, for fifteen Moneths
Arrears, due at the Interruption of Parliament
59. 5. --
_Item_ For four rich Mantles for his Lady, two
lac'd and two embroidered, and a brave
New Gown, made to congratulate her
Husband's new Honor. 270. --. --
_Item_ Bestowed by her Order, upon the Journey
men Taylors, and given to him that
brought home and tryed on the said
Gown, seven pieces in gold. 7. 14. --
_Item_ For an innumerable company of Pectoral
Rolls and Lozenges, to dry up his Excellencies
Rheum, at two pence a piece 30. 2. 2
_Item_ For two Rolls of Spanish Tobacco for
Colonel _Sydenham_, at twenty shillings
per pound, according to the Protectors
rate, and five black Pots to warm Ale in,
at twelve pence a piece, together with
ten Groce of glaz'd Pipes, at nine shillings
the groce. 45. 13. 4.
_Item_ For two gilt Horn bookes for his great son,
at two shillings, sixpence a piece 5. --
_Item_ laid out for seven rich new Gowns, bespoke
at _Paris_ for the Lady _Lambert_, to be worn
seven several dayes one after another, at
her Husbands coming to the Crowne,
every Gown valued at Sixty pound, one
with the other 480. --. --
_Item_ for Pins and Gloves for the said Lady 83. 9. --
_Item_ for vamping Colonel _Clarks_ Riding boots,
and for new Spur Leathers 10. --. --
&c &c &c &c--
[Footnote 226: A committee of 23, which was inaugurated on
26th October 1659 to take upon themselves the exercise of the
Government, till another form of Government should be agreed
upon, which they declared should never be in single hands
again, as a Chief Magistrate, a King, or even the House of
Lords.]
Parody was almost unknown, but the following will serve as an
example:--
Song.
I must confess, upon a day, [118.]
When all my thoughts were Westward ha,
Near _Hampton Court_ I saw a Face,
The Throne of Modesty and Grace;
In whose each motion might be seen
_Hadassa_ and the Southern Queen;
Her Smiles were arguments to prove
The _Ph[oe]nix_, and the God of Love.
From these the Pencil learnt those Draughts
Of _Titan's_ Beams, and _Cupid's_ Shafts.
Bless me, said I, since I must die,
My Heart a Sacrifice shall lie,
Burnt with the Lustre of her eye.
The Mock.
And I, being lately Eastward bound,
To take a merry Countrey Round,
There I beheld a Thing call'd Woman,
Save him that hath her, Match for no man!
In whose behaviour you may spell,
What _Job's_ Wife was, and _Jezabel_.
Her looks make good the doubtful story
Of _Acharon_ and Purgatory.
From these the Painter had advice
To limn the Toad and Cockatrice.
This made me cry, since Friends must part,
E're this vile wretch shall have my heart,
I'le suffer. Drive away the Cart.
[105.] There was an olde woman that had but one tooth in her head, &
that did ake very sore, she went to Master _Scogin_ for remedy. Come
with me, mother, said _Scogin_, & you shall be healed by & by. He then
got a packthreed, and went to the Smiths forge with the woman, and
he said to the Smith, I pray you, heate me a Coulter in your Forge. I
will, said the Smith. Then he went to the old woman, and said, Mother,
let me see your tooth, and she did so: he took his packthreed and
bound it fast about the tooth, & tyed the other end of the thred at
the ring of the forge doore, whereat the Smith used to tie his horses
& mares, and when the Coulter was glowing hot, _Scogin_ tooke the
Coulter and ran with it against the old woman, saying; Why dost thou
stand here like an old mare? I will run thee through with this hot
Coulter. The woman being afraid, gave a braid[F. 227] with her head,
and ran her way, & left her tooth behind her. _Scogin_ ran after the
woman, and she cryed out for helpe (for she was afraid that _Scogin_
would have burnt her.) The Smith ran after _Scogin_ for his Coulter,
for he was afraid that _Scogin_ would run away with it.
[Footnote 227: A start, a toss of the head.]
[94.] One perswaded a Scholar that was much given to rambling, and
going abroad, to sell or put away his Cushion, and it would be a means
to make him sit harder to his study.
[26.] A Scholar in _Oxford_ was often sent to by a Citizen for
Money, which he pretended was due to him, and finding his answer not
according to expectation he took the boldness and went to him himself,
and modestly said to him in private: Sir, There's some Money betwixt
you and I. Say you so, says the Scholar, I pray where is it? we'll
divide it if you please. Sir, says he, I have taken your word for it
hitherto. Truly, says he, so you are like to do till you are paid.
[4.] A young lad being chid by his Uncle, for lying a Bed so long in
a Morning, telling him that such a one had found a Purse of Money by
rising early in the Morning: I, says the Lad smartly, but he rose too
early that lost it.
[110.] Maister _Hobson_ on a time in company of one of his neighbors,
roade from London towards Sturbridge faire, so the first night of
there jorny they lodged at _Ware_ in an Inne where great store of
Company was, and in the morning when every man made him ready to
ride, and some were on horsbacke setting forward, the Cittizen, his
neighbour found him sitting at the Inne gate, booted and spurd, in a
browne studdy, to whome hee saide, for shame, Maister _Hobson_, why
sitte you heare, why doe you not make your selfe redy to horsebacke,
that we may set forward with company? Maister Hobson replyed in this
manner, I tarry (quoth he) for a good cause. For what cause? quoth his
neighbour. Mary, quoth Maister _Hobson_, here be so many horses, that
I cannot tell which is mine owne, and I know well, when every man is
ridden and gone, the horse that remaneth behind, must needs be mine.
[17.] A Puritan coming to a Cheese mongers to buy Cheese, when he gave
him a tast, he put his hat before his eyes, to say Grace; Nay, says
he, I see instead of tasting my Cheese, you intend to make a meal of
it.