Printed for _J. Deacon_ at the _Angel_ in Guiltspur Street.
[Footnote 163: ? Corset.]
[82.] A Country fellow (that had not walked much in streets that were
paved) came to _London_, where a dog came suddenly out of a house, and
furiously ran at him: the fellow stooped to take up a stone to cast
at the Dog, and finding them all fast rammed, or paved in the ground;
quoth hee, what strange Country am I in? where the people tye up the
stones, and let the dogs loose.
[93.] _George_ (_Peele_), with others of his Associates, being mery
together at the Taverne, having more store of Coyne than usually they
did possesse; although they were regardlesse of their silver, yet
they intended for a season to be good husbands, if they knew how to be
sparing of that their pockets were then furnished withall: Five pounds
they had amongst them, and a plot must be cast how they might bee
merrie with extraordinarie cheere three or foure dayes, and keepe
their five pounds whole in stocke: _George Peele_ was the man must doe
it, or none, and generally they coniured him by their loves, his owne
credit, and the reputation that went on him, that he would but in this
shew his wit: and, withall, hee should have all the furtherance that
in them lay. _George_ as easie, as they earnest, to be wonne to such
an exploit, consented and gathered their money together, and gave it
all to _George_, who should be their purse bearer, and the other foure
should seeme as servants to _George Peele_ and the better to colour
it, they should goe change their cloakes, the one like the other, so
neere as they could possible: the which, at _Beelzebub's_ brother,
the Broker's, they might quickly doe: This was soone accomplished,
and _George_ was furnished with his blacke Sattin suit, and a paire
of bootes, which were as familiar to his legges, as the pillory to
a Bakers or Colliers[F. 164] necke, and hee sufficiently possest his
friends with the whole scope of his intent, as, gentle Reader, the
sequell will shew. Instantly they tooke a paire of Oares, whose armes
were to make a false gallop no further than Brainford, where their
faire was paid to them so liberally, that each of them the next
tide to London, purchased two new wastcoates, yet should these good
benefactors come to their usuall places of trade, and if they spie
a better fare than their owne, that happily the Gentleman hath more
minde to goe withall, they will not onely fall out with him that is
of their owne sweet transporters, as they are, but abuse the fare they
carrie with foule speeches, as, a Pox, or the Devill go with you:
as their Godfather _Caron_ the Ferry-man of Hell hath taught them. I
speake not this of all, but of some that are brought up in the East,
some in the West, some in the North, but most part in the South: but
for the rest they are honest compleat men, leaving them to come to
my honest _George_; who is now merry at the three Pigeons[F. 165] in
Braineford, with Sacke and Sugar, not any wine wanting, the Musicians
playing, my host drinking, my hostis dauncing with the worshipfull
Justice, for so then he was tearmed, and his Mansion house in Kent,
who came thither of purpose to be merry with his men; because he could
not so conveniently neere home, by reason of a shrewish wife he
had: my gentle hostis gave him all the entertainment the house could
afford, for M. _Peele_ had paid royally; for all his five pounds was
come to ten groats. Now _George Peele's_ wit labors to bring in that
five pounds there was spent, which was soone begotten. Being sot at
dinner, My host, quoth _George_, how fals the Tyde out for London; not
till the evening, quoth mine Hoste, have you any businesse, Sir?
Yes, marry, quoth _George_, I intend not to goe home this two dayes:
Therefore, my Hoste, saddle my man a horse for London, if you be so
well furnished, for I must send him for one bag more, quoth _George_,
ten pounds hath seen no Sunne this six moneths. I am ill furnished if
I cannot furnish you with that, quoth my Hoste, and presently sadled
him a good Nag, and away rides one of _George's_ men to London,
attending the good house of his Master _Peele_ in London; In the meane
time _George_ bespeakes great cheare to Supper, saying he expected
some of his friends from London. Now you must imagine there was not
a peny owing in the house, for he had paid as liberall as _Cæsar_,
as far as _Cæsar's_ wealth went. For indeed most of the money was one
Cæsar's an honest man yet living in London: but to the Catastrophe.
All the day before, had one of the other men of _George Peele_ been
a great soliciter to my Hostis, she would beg leave of his Master he
might go see a Maid, a sweet heart of his, so farre as Kingstone, and
before his Master went to bed, he would returne againe; saying he
was sure shee might command it at his Masters hands. My kinde Hostis
willing to pleasure the yong fellow, knowing in her time what belonged
to such matters, went to Master _Peele_, and moved him in it: which
he angerly refused. But she was so earnest in it, that shee swore hee
should not deny her, protesting he went but to see an uncle of his
some five miles off. Marry, I thanke you, quoth _George_, my good
Hostis, would you so discredit me, or hath the knave no more wit, than
at this time to goe, knowing I have no horse here, and would he, base
cullian, go afoot? Nay, good Sir, quoth mine Hostis, be not angry, it
is not his intent to goe afoot; for hee shall have my Mare, and I will
assure you, Sir, upon my word, he shall be here againe, to have you
to bed. Wel, quoth _George_, Hostis Ile take you at your word, let him
goe, his negligence shall light upon you. So be it, quoth mine Hostis:
so down goeth she, and sends away civill _Thomas_, for so she cal'd
him, to his sweet heart backt upon her Mare: which _Thomas_ instead of
riding to Kingstone, tooke London in his way, where, meeting with my
other horseman, attended the arrivall of _George Peele_, which was not
long after. They are at London, _George_ in his Chamber at Brainford,
accompanied with none but one _Anthony Nit_, a Barber, who Din'd and
Sup't with him continually, of whom he had borowed a Lute to passe
away the melancholy afternoone, of which he could play as well as
_Banke's_[F. 166] his horse. The Barber very modestly takes his leave;
_George_ obsequiously bids him to supper, who (God willing) would not
faile. _George_ being left alone with his two supposed men, gave them
the meane how to escape, and, walking in the Court, _George_ found
fault with the weather, saying it was rawish, and cold: which words
mine Hostis hearing, my kinde Hostis fetched her Husbands holiday
Gowne; which _George_ thankfully put about him, and withall called
for a cup of Sacke, after which he would walke into the Meddowes, and
practise upon his Lute. 'Tis good for your worship to do so, quoth
mine Hostis: which walk _George_ took directly to Sion,[F. 167] where,
having the advantage of a paire of Oares at hand, made this Journey
to London, his two Associates behind, had the plot in their heads by
_Georges_ instruction for their escape: for they knew he was gone;
my Hostis, she was in the Market buying of provision for Supper: mine
Hoste he was at Tables,[F. 168] and my two masterlesse men desired the
maids to excuse them if their Master came, for, quoth they, we will
goe drinke two pots with my Smug Smithes wife at old Brainford. I
warrant you, quoth the Maides. So away went my men to the Smith's at
old Brainford; from thence to London, where they all met, and sold the
Horse and the Mare, the Gowne and the Lute, which money was as badly
spent, as it was lewdly got. How my Hoste and my Hostis lookt when
they saw the event of this; goe but to the three Pigeons at Brainford,
you shall know.
[Footnote 164: Now termed coal merchants.]
[Footnote 165: This sign, which exists at Brentford now, was
that of a famous house at that time. It is noticed in the old
comedy of "The Roaring Girl, or the Catchpole," thus--
"Thou art admirably suited for the Three Pigeons
At Brentford; I swear I know thee not."
And Ben Jonson in his "Alchemist" makes _Subtle_ say to _Doll
Common_, "We will turn our course to Brainford, westward, if
thou saist the word.... My fine flitter-mouse[F. 165a] my bird
o' the night, wee'll tickle it at the _pigeons_." It has been
suggested, with some show of probability, that this sign took
its origin from the three doves which Noah sent out from the
ark.]
[Footnote 165a: A bat.]
[Footnote 166: See footnote, p. 125. (Footnote 77)]
[Footnote 167: Sion House, now the seat of the Duke of
Northumberland, is opposite the western end of Kew Gardens.]
[Footnote 168: Backgammon, or any other games played on the
same board.]
[94.] Two being in a Tavern, the one swore the other should pledge
him: why then, quoth the other, I will; who went presently down the
stairs, and left him as a pledge for the Reckoning.
[91.] First my mother brought me forth, when shortly after, I, the
Daughter, bring forth my mother againe.
_Resolution._ Of water is first made ice, which afterwards melts,
and brings forth water againe, and so the daughter brings forth the
mother, as the mother first the daughter.