_Arthur Halliarg._[F. 158]
London. Printed by _M. P._ for _Henry Gosson_[F. 159] on London Bridge
neere the Gate.
[Footnote 155: For tune, see Appendix.]
[Footnote 156: Ceases, or leaves off.]
[Footnote 157: Drinking.]
[Footnote 158: This ballad is supposed to be unique, and
is the only known work of Halliarg, who is not mentioned by
Hazlitt.]
[Footnote 159: The date of this ballad in the Museum Catalogue
is 1610 (?).]
[91.] A Bishop on a time examining one that sought to be admitted
into the ministery, asked him how many Sacraments there were; to which
question, he, after long pause, answered there were 9; Nine, quoth he,
how prove you that? Why, quoth hee, there are 7 beyond sea, and two in
_England_; at which the B. laughing at his ignorance, yet grieved for
his folly, sent him away as worthily frustrate of his expectation.
[4.] A Man being ask'd whether his friend _Tom_, that was lately dead,
had left him any Legacy? No, faith, says he, Not a Tester to drink his
health.
[26.] In the Wars in _Germany_, between the _Swedes_ and them, there
was so great a Frost one Winter, that Two Men desiring to talk with
one another, and one was on one side of the River, and t'other on the
other, and as they spoke one to another, the Frost was so great,
that it froze[F. 160] up their words, which was not audible then, nor
indeed (upon my reputation) could not be heard till Nine days after,
when it chanc'd to thaw: which one of the company hearing said 'twas
a brave Country to speak Treason in; for whatsoever a Man said, a Man
could not be heard; Nay, the very lowings of the Bulls and Cows were
froz'n up also, that the owners had much ado to find them to fodder
them, for want of hearing them as formerly. Nay, by your favour, says
another, there is another Country, which had as great a Conveniency to
speak Treason in as that had, from 1648 to 1660, and there one might
speak any sort of Treason, and was never call'd to an account for it:
Nay, the more Treason they spoke, they were the better esteem'd; so
that there was no need of a frost at that time in _England_.
[Footnote 160: A somewhat similar story may be found
previously, in _Rabelais_, and some sixty years subsequently,
in _Baron Munchausen_.]
[52.] There was a notable drunkard of Rochester, whom his wife
perswaded as much as in her lay, to leave that Sinne; but the more she
spake the worse he was, and because she controuled him, he would all
to beat her, So she let him alone; and because his use was still to
stay out till almost midnight, she went to bed, and bad her Maid tary
up for him, and make a good fire: and the maid did as her Mistresse
commanded. One night when he came home the Maid let him in, and he
stood by the fire and warmed himself; but his head being too heavy for
his body, down he fell into the fire along. The Maid ranne crying,
Oh Mistresse, Mistresse, my Master is falne into the fire. No Matter,
Maid (quoth she) let him take his pleasure in his owne house, where he
will himselfe.
A Gentleman not richest in discretion, [4.]
Was alwayes sending for his own phisition.
And on a time he needs would of him know,
What was the cause his pulse did go so slow?
Why (quoth the Doctor) thus it comes to passe,
Must needs go slow, which goes upon an asse.
[82.] An unhappy boy that kept his father's sheepe in the country, did
use to carry a paire[F. 161] of Cards in his pocket, and meeting with
boyes as good as himselfe would fall to Cards at the Cambrian game of
whip-her-ginny,[F. 162] or English one and thirty; at which sport,
hee would some dayes lose a sheepe or two: for which if his father
corrected him, hee (in revenge) would drive the sheepe home at night
over a narrow bridge, where some of them falling besides the bridge,
were drowned in the swift brooke. The old man being wearied with his
ungracious dealing, complained to a Justice, thinking to affright him
from doing any more the like. In briefe, before the Justice the youth
was brought, where (using small reverence, and lesse manners) the
Justice said to him, Sirrah, you are a notable villaine, you play
at Cards, and lose your father's sheepe at one and thirty. The Boy
replied that it was a lye. A lye, quoth the Justice, you saucy knave,
dost thou give me the lye? No, qd the boy, I gave thee not the lye,
but you told me the lye, for I never lost sheepe at one and thirty;
for when my game was one and thirty I alwayes wonne. Indeed, said the
Justice thou saist true, but I have another accusation against thee,
which is, that you drive your fathers sheepe over a narrow bridge
where some of them are oftentimes drowned: That's a lye too, quoth the
boy, for those that go over the bridge are well enough, it is onely
those that fall beside which are drowned: Whereto the Justice said to
the boys father, Old man, thou hast brought in two false accusations
against thy sonne for he never lost sheepe at one and thirty, nor were
there ever any drowned that went over the bridge.
[Footnote 161: A pack.]
[Footnote 162: The same author mentions this game again in
"Taylors Motto," as also many other games then in vogue, the
names of which are curious--
"The Prodigall's estate, like to a flux,
The Mercer, Draper, and the Silk man sucks;
The Taylor, Millainer, Dogs, Drabs and Dice,
Trey trip or Passage, or the Most at thrice;
At Irish, Tick tacke, Doublets, Draughts or Chesse,
He flings his money free with carelessnesse:
At Novum, Mumchance, mischance (chuse ye which)
At One and Thirty, or at Poore and rich,
Ruffe, flam, Trump, noddy, whisk, hole, Sant, New Cut,
Unto the keeping of foure Knaves he'l put
His whole estate at Loadum, or at Gleeke,
At Tickle me quickly, he's a merry Greeke,
At Primefisto, Post and payre, Primero,
Maw, Whip-her-ginny, he's a lib'rall _Hero_;
At My-sow-pigg'd: and (Reader never doubt ye,
He's skill'd in all games except) Looke about ye.
Bowles, shove-groate, tennis, no game comes amiss,
His purse a purse for any body is."
]