Printed for P. Brooksby,[F. 148] J. Deacon,[F. 149] J. Blare,[F. 150]
J. Back.[F. 151]
[Footnote 147: For tune, see Appendix.]
[Footnote 148: Philip Brooksby had two shops,--one, the Golden
Ball, near Bear Tavern, in West Smithfield; the other, Harp
and Ball, also Golden Ball, in Pye Corner.]
[Footnote 149: J. Deacon lived at the Rainbow, near David's
Inn, or St. Andrew's Church, Holborn.]
[Footnote 150: Josiah Blare's shop was the Looking Glass, on
London Bridge.]
[Footnote 151: John Back also lived on London Bridge, at the
sign of the Black Boy.]
[86.] King _James_ with some of his Nobles having lost their way in a
_Forest_ in the persuit of a Deer, came at last a hungry to the side
of the same _Forest_ where they espied a little House; thither hyed
the King, and demanded first what victuals in the House, then with
some comfortable leysure the way; the good wife sets before the King
a good piece of powdered[F. 152] Beefe and a bag pudding, the King and
his Followers fell to eat heartily, & having contented his _hostess_
rid away: by the road side at some distance, a boy presents himself
scraping with his legs, bare headed, whereon was a thick scald:
Sirrah, said the Lords, cover your head, have you never a Cap? where
do you dwell? In yonder Cottage an't please you (pointing to the place
where the King dined) I had a Cap yesterday, but to day my mother made
use of it for a pudding bag; Quoth the King, it did me no harme in the
eating, it shall do me lesse in thinking of it; come, put on, and let
us jog it down; but it stirred the stomacks of his Traine.
[Footnote 152: Salted.]
[17.] One _Pace_ a bitter Jester in Queen _Elizabeth's_ daies, came to
Court: Come says the Ladies, _Pace_, we shall now hear of our faults:
No, says he, I don't use to talk of that which all the Towne talks of.
One saw an Old Woman, [12.]
Which indeed is Common,
With her nose to meet with her chin;
'Tis strange, says he, me-thinks,
For when that she drinks
The De'el a drop can she get in.
He was then told the cause,
And what the reason was
That her teeth were fell out, and her chin
And Nose, like loving Neighbours,
Think well of their Labours,
To reconcile 'em agen.
[52.] A Worshipfull Gentleman in London, having on a time invited
divers of his friends to supper to his house, and being at supper,
the second course comming in, the first was one of the Gentleman's own
men, bringing a Capon; and by chance, stumbling at the portall door,
the Capon flew out of the platter and ranne along the board to the
upper end of the table where the Master of the house sate, who making
a jest of it, said, By my faith it is well, the Capon is come first,
my man will come anon too, I hope. By and by came his man, and takes
up the Capon, and layes it in the platter, and sets it on the board.
I thank you Sir, quoth his Master, I could have done so my self. I,
quoth his man, it is an easie matter, sir, for one to do a thing when
he sees it done before his face.
[17.] Some Tylers working on the top of the house, one by chance dropt
down through the rafters; Says one, I like such a Fellow dearly, for
he is one that goes through his work.
[26.] Another swore, that he in his Travels round about the World,
which he had encompast Three times and half in Seven years time, but
could not finish the other half, because he fell very Sick, and so
was forc't to return back agen; and in his return, he came to a King's
Court, but I cannot for my life remember the place, because I have
been in so many; and there, says he, I saw a Lute of a very great
bigness, and Thirty Ells long, bating only three inches, and Three
broad, and swore that the least string upon it was bigger than his
Thumb. Then they askt him how it possibly could be plaid on? He
told them that a Man and his Wife that were Gyants (of which there's
abundance in that Country) had Two large Iron Bows, made each with
Eight Feet like Gridirons, with which he, and his dear Consort (which
I think is the best name for her now, in regard of that Musick) scrat
ore the strings; that is, she on the Treble part, and He on the Bass,
whilst Eight great Mastiff Dogs ran up and down the Frets of the Lute,
with their bare feet, and stopt directly in Tune as they plaid; (but
you must conceive that these dogs were bred up to't, or else 'twere a
thing impossible) to the admiration of all strangers that were there;
and the Case of that Lute served for a kennel for the Eight Dogs
to lie in: but it seems 'tis common with them there, for they made
nothing of it; and this he made good by whole Volleys of thundering
Oaths.
[5.] A fat house keeper makes leane Executors. The Devill is not
alwaies at one doore. He puls with a long rope, that waights for
anothers death.
Come buy this new Ballad, before you doe goe;
If you raile at the Author, I know what I know.
To the Tune of, _Ile tell you but so_.
[Illustration]
It is an old saying [89.]
that few words are best,
And he that sayes little,
shall live most at rest:
And I by experience
doe finde it right so,
Therefore Ile spare speech,
but I know what I know.
Yet shall you perceive well,
though little I say,
That many enormities
I will display:
You may guesse my meaning
by that which I show,
I will not tell all
but I know &c.
There be some great climbers
compos'd of ambition,
To whom better-born men
doe bend with submission:
Proud Lucifer climbing
was cast very low,
Ile not stay these men.
but I know &c.
There be many Foxes
that goe on two legges,
They steale greater matters
than Cocks, Hens and Egges;
To catch many Guls
in Sheepes cloathing they goe
They might be destroy'd
but I know &c.
There be many men
that Devotion pretend,
And make us beleeve
that true Faith theyle defend:
Three times in one day
to Church they will goe,
They cozen the world,
but I know &c.
There be many rich men
both Yeomen and Gentry,
That for their owne private gaine
hurt a whole Countrey:
By closing free Commons,
yet they'le make as though
Twere for common good,
but I know &c.
There be divers Papists
that to save their Fine,
Come to Church once a moneth
to heare Service Divine:
The Pope gives them power,
as they say, to doe so
They save money by't too
but I know &c.
There be many Upstarts
that spring from the Cart,
Who gotten to th' Court
play the Gentleman's part:
Their fathers were plaine men,
they scorne to be so,
They think themselves brave
but I know &c.
There be many Officers
men of great place,
To whom, if one sue
for their favour and grace,
He must bribe their servants
while they make as though
They know no such thing,
but I know &c.
There be many Women
that seem very pure,
A kisse from a stranger
they'le hardly endure:
They are like Lucretia,
modest in show.
I will accuse none,
but I know &c.
Likewise there be many
dissembling men,
That seeme to hate Drinking
and Women, yet when
They meet with a Wench
to the Taverne they'le goe,
They are civill all day
but I know &c.
There be many Batchelors
that to beguile
Beleeving kind Lasses,
use many a wile,
They all sweare that they love,
when they meane nothing so,
And boast of these tricks
but I know &c.
There's many an Usurer,
that like a Drone,
Doth idly live
upon his moneys Lone:
From Tens unto Hundreds
his money doth grow,
He sayes he doth good,
but I know &c.
There be many Gallants
that goe in gay Rayment,
For which the Taylor
did never receive payment;
They ruffle it out
with a gorgeous show,
Some take them for Knights,
but I know &c.
There be many Rorers
that swagger and rore,
As though they in the warres had been,
seven yeeres or more:
And yet they never lookt
in the face of a Foe;
They seeme gallant Sparkes
but I know &c.
There's many both Women
and Men that appeare
With beautifull Outsides
the Worlds eyes to bleare:
But all is not Gold
that doth glister in show,
They are fine with a Pox,
but I know &c.
There's many rich Trades-men
who live by Deceit,
And in Weight and Measure
the poore they doe cheat,
They'le not sweare an Oath
but indeed, I, and No,
They truly protest,
but I know &c.
There be many people
so given to strife,
That they'le goe to Law
for a two-penny Knife,
The Lawyers ne're aske them
why they doe so,
He gets by their hate,
but I know &c.
I know there be many
will carpe at this Ballet,
Because it is like
sowre Sawce to their Pallet;
But he, shee, or they,
let me tell ere I goe,
If they speak against this Song
I know what I know.