If there is one thing more than another, after the possession of the
thirteen classics, on which the Chinese specially pride themselves, it
is _politeness_. Even had their literature alone not sufficed to place
them far higher in the scale of mental cultivation than the unlettered
barbarian, a knowledge of those important forms and ceremonies which
regulate daily intercourse between man and man, unknown of course to
inhabitants of the outside nations, would have amply justified the
graceful and polished Celestial in arrogating to himself the proud
position he now occupies with so much satisfaction to himself. A few
inquiring natives ask if foreigners have any notion at all of
etiquette, and are always surprised in proportion to their ignorance
to hear that our ideas of ceremony are fully as clumsy and complicated
as their own. It must be well understood that we speak chiefly of the
educated classes, and not of "boys" and compradores who learn in a
very short time both to touch their caps and wipe their noses on their
masters' pocket-handkerchiefs. Our observations will be confined to
members of that vast body of men who pore day and night over the
"Doctrine of the Mean," and whose lips would scorn to utter the
language of birds.
And truly if national greatness may be gauged by the mien and carriage
of its people, China is without doubt entitled to a high place among
the children of men. An official in full costume is a most imposing
figure, and carries himself with great dignity and self-possession,
albeit he is some four or five inches shorter than an average
Englishman. In this respect he owes much to his long dress, which, by
the way, we hope in course of time to see modified; but more to a
close and patient study of an art now almost monopolised in Europe by
aspirants to the triumphs of the stage. There is not a single awkward
movement as the Chinese gentleman bows you into his house, or supplies
you from his own hand with the cup of tea so necessary, as we shall
show, to the harmony of the meeting. Not until his guest is seated
will the host venture to take up his position on the right hand of the
former; and even if in the course of an excited conversation, either
should raise himself, however slightly, from a sitting posture, it
will be the bounden duty of the other to do so too. No gentleman would
sit while his equal stood. Occasionally, where it is not intended to
be over-respectful to a visitor, a servant will bring in the tea, one
cup in each hand. Then standing before his master and guest, he will
cross his arms, serving the latter who is at his right hand with his
left hand, his master with the right. The object of this is to expose
the palm--in Chinese, the _heart_--of either hand to each recipient of
tea. It is a token of fidelity and respect. The tea itself is called
"guest tea," and _is not intended for drinking_. It has a more useful
mission than that of allaying thirst. Alas for the red-haired
barbarian who greedily drinks off his cupful before ten words have
been exchanged, and confirms the unfavourable opinion his host already
entertains of the manners and customs of the West! And yet a little
trouble spent in learning the quaint ceremonies of the Chinese would
have gained him much esteem as an enlightened and tolerant man. For
while despising us outwardly, the Chinese know well enough that
inwardly we despise them, and thus it comes to pass that a voluntary
concession on our part to any of their harmless prejudices is always
gratefully acknowledged. To return, "guest tea" is provided to be used
as a signal by either party that the interview is at an end. A guest
no sooner raises the cup to his lips than a dozen voices shout to his
chair-coolies; so, too, when the master of the house is prevented by
other engagements from playing any longer the part of host. Without
previous warning--unusual except among intimate acquaintances--this
tea should never be touched except as a sign of departure.
Strangers meeting may freely ask each other their names, provinces,
and even prospects; it is not so usual as is generally supposed to
inquire a person's age. It is always a compliment to an old man, who
is justly proud of his years, and takes the curious form of "your
venerable teeth?" but middle-aged men do not as a rule care about the
question and their answers can rarely be depended upon. A man may be
asked the number and sex of his children; also if his father and
mother are still "in the hall," i.e., alive. His wife, however, should
never be alluded to even in the most indirect manner. Friends meeting,
either or both being in sedan-chairs, stop their bearers at once, and
get out with all possible expedition; the same rule applies to
acquaintances meeting on horseback. Spectacles must always be removed
before addressing even the humblest individual--sheer ignorance of
which most important custom has often, we imagine, led to rudeness
from natives towards foreigners, where otherwise extreme courtesy
would have been shown. In such cases a foreigner must yield, or take
the chances of being snubbed; and where neither self-respect or
national dignity is compromised, we recommend him by all means to
adopt the most conciliatory course. Chinese etiquette is a wide field
for the student, and one which, we think, would well repay extensive
and methodical exploration.