In order to teach me more thoroughly the lesson of trust, the Lord
permitted me to pass through a peculiar and severe trial. As I looked
forward to the time when I hoped to take up the active work of the
ministry, I had a great desire to be at my best in every way. I had
hoped to be in good health so that I might be able to bear the strain of
the work and to meet every emergency that might arise. But just as I was
about ready to enter upon my life's mission, I found my health breaking
and myself on the verge of a nervous breakdown. This was indeed a keen
disappointment to me. My sufferings at times seemed almost intolerable.
I could not understand it: I longed so much to be of real service to God
and to accomplish what I regarded as my life-work--the ministry.
Although the prospects seemed gloomy and my friends expected a complete
breakdown in my health, yet I determined to go forward in the name of
the Lord and to do the best I could. I even began to fear that my reason
would be dethroned. However, I said nothing about my condition to my
congregation, but sought to be a blessing to them in every way. I
finally tried to form the habit of beginning each day with a season of
thanksgiving for all the blessings I could think of. This proved to be
very helpful.