WELL-NIGH WEARIED OUT.
Lionel returned late in the evening; he had been detained at Verner's
Pride. Sibylla appeared sullen still. She was in her own sitting-room,
upstairs, and Lucy was bearing her company. Decima was in Lady Verner's
chamber.
"Have you had any dinner?" inquired Lucy. _She_ did not ask. She would
not have asked had he been starving.
"I took a bit with John Massingbird," he replied. "Is my mother better,
do you know?"
"Not much, I think," said Lucy. "Decima is sitting with her."
Lionel stood in his old attitude, his elbow on the mantel-piece by his
wife's side, looking down at her. Her eyes were suspiciously bright, her
cheeks now shone with their most crimson hectic. It was often the case
at this, the twilight hour of the evening. She wore a low dress, and the
gold chain on her neck rose and fell with every breath. Lucy's neck was
uncovered, too: a fair, pretty neck; one that did not give you the
shudders when looked at as poor Sibylla's did. Sibylla leaned back on
the cushions of her chair, toying with a fragile hand-screen of
feathers; Lucy, sitting on the opposite side, had been reading; but she
laid the book down when Lionel entered.
"John Massingbird desired me to ask you, Sibylla, if he should send you
the first plate of grapes they cut."
"I'd rather have the first bag of walnuts they shake," answered Sibylla.
"I never cared for grapes."
"He can send you both," said Lionel; but an uncomfortable, dim
recollection came over him, of Jan's having told her she must not eat
walnuts. For Jan to tell her not to do a thing, however--or, in fact,
for anybody else--was the sure signal for Sibylla to do it.
"Does John Massingbird intend to go to-morrow evening?" inquired
Sibylla.
"To Deerham Hall, do you mean? John Massingbird has not received an
invitation."
"What's that for?" quickly asked Sibylla.
"Some whim of Miss Hautley's, I suppose. The cards have been issued very
partially. John says it is just as well he did not get one, for he
should either not have responded to it, or else made his appearance
there with his clay pipe."
Lucy laughed.
"He is glad to be left out," continued Lionel. "It saves him the trouble
of a refusal. I don't think any ball would get John Massingbird to it;
unless he could be received in what he calls his diggings' toggery."
"I'd not have gone with him; I don't like him well enough," resentfully
spoke Sibylla; "but as he is not going, he can let me have the loan of
my own carriage--at least, the carriage that was my own. I dislike those
old, hired things."
The words struck on Lionel like a knell. He foresaw trouble. "Sibylla,"
he gravely said, "I have been speaking to Jan. He----"
"Yes, you have!" she vehemently interrupted, her pent-up anger bursting
forth. "You went to him, and sent him here, and told him what to
say--all on purpose to cross me. It is wicked of you to be so jealous of
my having a little pleasure."
"Jealous of--I don't understand you, Sibylla."
"You won't understand me, you mean. Never mind, never mind!"
"Sibylla," he said, bending his head slightly towards her, and speaking
in low, persuasive accents, "I _cannot_ let you go to-morrow night. If I
cared for you less, I might suffer you to risk it. I have given up
going, and----"
"You never meant to go," she interrupted.
"Yes, I did; to please my mother. But that is of no consequence----"
"I tell you, you never meant to go, Lionel Verner!" she passionately
burst forth, her cheeks flaming. "You are stopping at home on purpose to
be with Lucy Tempest--an arranged plan between you and her. Her society
is more to you than any you'd find at Deerham Hall."
Lucy looked up with a start--a sort of shiver--her sweet, brown eyes
open with innocent wonder. Then the full sense of the words appeared to
penetrate to her, and her face grew hot with a glowing, scarlet flush.
She said nothing. She rose quietly, not hurriedly, took up the book she
had put on the table, and quietly left the room.
Lionel's face was glowing, too--glowing with the red blood of
indignation. He bit his lips for calmness, leaving the mark there for
hours. He strove manfully with his angry spirit: it was rising up to
open rebellion. A minute, and the composure of self-control came to him.
He stood before his wife, his arms folded.
"You are my wife," he said. "I am bound to defend, to excuse you so far
as I may; but these insults to Lucy Tempest I cannot excuse. She is the
daughter of my dead father's dearest friend; she is living here under
the protection of my mother, and it is incumbent upon me to put a stop
to these scenes, so far as she is concerned. If I cannot do it in one
way, I must in another."
"You know she and you would like to stay at home together--and get the
rest of us out."
"Be silent!" he said in a sterner tone than he had ever used to her.
"You cannot reflect upon what you are saying. Accuse me as you please; I
will bear it patiently, if I can; but Miss Tempest must be spared. You
_know_ how utterly unfounded are such thoughts; you know that she is
refined, gentle, single-hearted; that all her thoughts to you, as my
wife, are those of friendship and kindness. What would my mother think
were she to hear this?"
Sibylla made no reply.
"You have never seen a look or heard a word pass between me and Lucy
Tempest that was not of the most open nature, entirely compatible with
her position, that of a modest and refined gentlewoman, and of mine, as
your husband. I think you must be mad, Sibylla."
The words Jan had used. If such temperaments do not deserve the name of
madness, they are near akin to it. Lionel spoke with emotion: it all but
over-mastered him, and he went back to his place by the mantel-piece,
his chest heaving.
"I shall leave this residence as speedily as maybe," he said, "giving
some trivial excuse to my mother for the step. I see no other way to put
an end to this."
Sibylla, her mood changing, burst into tears. "I don't want to leave
it," she said quite in a humble tone.
He was not inclined for argument. He had rapidly made his mind up,
believing it was the only course open to him. He must go away with his
wife, and so leave the house in peace. Saying something to that effect,
he quitted the room, leaving Sibylla sobbing; fractiously on the pillow
of the chair.
He went down to the drawing-room. He did not care where he went, or what
became of him. It is an unhappy thing when affairs grow to that
miserable pitch, that the mind has neither ease nor comfort anywhere. At
the first moment of entering, he thought the room was empty, but as his
eyes grew accustomed to the dusk, he discerned the form of some one
standing at the distant window. It was Lucy Tempest. Lionel went
straight up to her. He felt that some apology or notice from him was
due. She was crying bitterly, and turned to him before he could speak.
"Mr. Verner, I feel my position keenly. I would not remain here to make
things unpleasant to your wife for the whole world. But I cannot help
myself. I have nowhere to go until papa shall return to Europe."
"Lucy, let me say a word to you," he whispered, his tones impeded, his
breath coming thick and fast from his hot and crimsoned lips. "There are
moments in a man's lifetime when he must _be true;_ when the artificial
gloss thrown on social intercourse fades out of sight. This is one."
Her tears fell more quietly. "I am so very sorry!" she continued to
murmur.
"Were you other than what you are I might meet you with some of this
artifice; I might pretend not to know aught of what has been said; I
might attempt some elaborate apology. It would be worse than folly from
me to you. Let me tell you that could I have shielded you from this
insult with my life, I would have done it."
"Yes, yes," she hurriedly answered.
"You will not mistake me. As the daughter of my father's dearest friend,
as my mother's honoured guest, I speak to you. I speak to you as one
whom I am bound to protect from harm and insult, only in a less degree
than I would protect my wife. You will do me the justice to believe it."
"I know it. Indeed I do not blame you."
"Lucy, I would have prevented this, had it been in my power. But it was
not. I could not help it. All I can do is to take steps that it shall
not occur again in the future. I scarcely know what I am saying to you.
My life, what with one thing and another, is well-nigh wearied out."
Lucy had long seen that. But she did not say so.
"It will not be long now before papa is at home," she answered, "and
then I shall leave Deerham Court free. Thank you for speaking to me,"
she simply said, as she was turning to leave the room.
He took both her hands in his; he drew her nearer to him, his head was
bent down to hers, his whole frame shook with emotion. Was he tempted to
take a caress from her sweet face, as he had taken it years ago? Perhaps
he was. But Lionel Verner was not one to lose his self-control where
there was real necessity for his retaining it. His position was
different now from what it had been then; and, if the temptation was
strong, it was kept in check, and Lucy never knew it had been there.
"You will forget it for my sake, Lucy? You will not resent it upon her?
She is very ill."
"It is what I wish to do," she gently said. "I do not know what foolish
things I might not say, were I suffering like Mrs. Verner."
"God bless you for ever, Lucy!" he murmured. "May your future life be
more fortunate than mine is."
Relinquishing her hands, he watched her disappear through the darkness
of the room. She was dearer to him than his own life; he loved her
better than all earthly things. That the knowledge was all too palpable
then, he was bitterly feeling, and he could not suppress it. He could
neither suppress the knowledge, nor the fact; it had been very present
with him for long and long. He could not help it, as he said. He
believed, in his honest heart, that he had not encouraged the passion;
that it had taken root and spread unconsciously to himself. He would
have driven it away, had it been in his power; he would drive it away
now, could he do it by any amount of energy or will. But it could not
be. And Lionel Verner leaned in the dark there against the window-frame,
resolving to do as he had done before--had done all along. To suppress
it ever; to ignore it so far as might be; and to do his duty as honestly
and lovingly by his wife, as though the love were not there.
He _had_ been enabled to do this hitherto, and he would still; God
helping him.