sense of thine own unworthiness. Thou seest what a poor, sorry,
wretched, worthless creature thou art; and seeing this, thou fearest
Christ will not receive thee. Alas, sayest thou, I am the vilest of all
men; a town-sinner, a ringleading sinner! I am not only a sinner
myself, but have made others twofold worse the children of hell also.
Besides, now I am under some awakenings and stirrings of mind after
salvation, even now I find my heart rebellious, carnal, hard,
treacherous, desperate, prone to unbelief, to despair: it forgetteth
the Word; it wandereth; it runneth to the ends of the earth. There is
not, I am persuaded, one in all the world that hath such a desperate
wicked heart as mine is; my soul is careless to do good, but none more
earnest to do that which is evil.
Can such a one as I am, live in glory? Can a holy, a just, and a
righteous God, once think (with honour to his name) of saving such a
vile creature as I am? I fear it. Will he show wonders to such a dead
dog as I am? I doubt it. I am cast out to the loathing of my person,
yea, I loath myself; I stink in mine own nostrils. How can I then be
accepted by a holy and sin-abhorring God? (Psa 38:5-7; Eze 11;
20:42,44). Saved I would be; and who is there that would not, were they
in my condition? Indeed, I wonder at the madness and folly of others,
when I see them leap and skip so carelessly about the mouth of hell!
Bold sinner, how darest thou tempt God, by laughing at the breach of
his holy law? But alas! they are not so bad one way, but I am worse
another: I wish myself were anybody but myself; and yet here again, I
know not what to wish. When I see such as I believe are coming to Jesus
Christ, O I bless them! But I am confounded in myself, to see how
unlike, as I think, I am to every good man in the world. They can read,
hear, pray, remember, repent, be humble, do everything better than so
vile a wretch as I. I, vile wretch, am good for nothing but to burn in
hell-fire, and when I think of that, I am confounded too!
Thus the sense of unworthiness creates and heightens fears in the
hearts of them that are coming to Jesus Christ; but indeed it should
not; for who needs the physician but the sick? or who did Christ come
into the world to save, but the chief of sinners? (Mark 2:17; 1 Tim
1:15). Wherefore, the more thou seest thy sins, the faster fly thou to
Jesus Christ. And let the sense of thine own unworthiness prevail with
thee yet to go faster. As it is with the man that carrieth his broken
arm in a sling to the bone-setter, still as he thinks of his broken
arm, and as he feels the pain and anguish, he hastens his pace to the
man. And if Satan meets thee, and asketh, Whither goest thou? tell him
thou art maimed, and art going to the Lord Jesus. If he objects thine
own unworthiness, tell him, That even as the sick seeketh the
physician; as he that hath broken bones seeks him that can set them; so
thou art going to Jesus Christ for cure and healing for thy sin sick
soul. But it ofttimes happeneth to him that flies for his life, he
despairs of escaping, and therefore delivers himself up into the hand
of the pursuer. But up, up, sinner; be of good cheer, Christ came to
save the unworthy ones: be not faithless, but believe. Come away, man,
the Lord Jesus calls thee, saying, “And him that cometh to me I will in
no wise cast out.”
Fourth. Thy fear that Christ will not receive thee, may arise from a
sense of the exceeding mercy of being saved; sometimes salvation is in
the eyes of him that desires so great, so huge, so wonderful a thing,
that the very thoughts of the excellency of it, engenders unbelief
about obtaining it, in the heart of those that unfeignedly desire it.
“Seemeth it to you,” saith David, “a light thing to be a king’s
son-in-law?” (1 Sam 18:23). So the thoughts of the greatness and glory
of the thing propounded, as heaven, eternal life, eternal glory, to be
with God, and Christ, and angels; these are great things, things too
good, saith the soul that is little in his own eyes; things too rich,
saith the soul that is truly poor in spirit, for me.
Besides, the Holy Ghost hath a way to greaten heavenly things to the
understanding of the coming sinner; yea, and at the same time to
greaten, too, the sin and unworthiness of that sinner. Now the soul
staggeringly wonders, saying, What! to be made like angels, like
Christ, to live in eternal bliss, joy, and felicity! This is for
angels, and for them that can walk like angels! If a prince, a duke, an
earl, should send (by the hand of his servant) for some poor, sorry,
beggarly scrub, to take her for his master to wife, and the servant
should come and say, My lord and master, such an one hath sent me to
thee, to take thee to him to wife; he is rich, beautiful, and of
excellent qualities; he is loving, meek, humble, well-spoken, &c. What
now would this poor, sorry, beggarly creature think? What would she
say? or how would she frame an answer? When king David sent to Abigail
upon this account, and though she was a rich woman, yet she said,
“Behold, let thine handmaid be a servant to wash the feet of the
servants of my lord” (1 Sam 25:40,41). She was confounded, she could
not well tell what to say, the offer was so great, beyond what could in
reason be expected.
But suppose this great person should second his suit, and send to this
sorry creature again, what would she say now? Would she not say, You
mock me? But what if he affirms that he is in good earnest, and that
his lord must have her to wife; yea, suppose he should prevail upon her
to credit his message, and to address herself for her journey; yet,
behold every thought of her pedigree confounds her; also her sense of
want of beauty makes her ashamed; and if she doth but think of being
embraced, the unbelief that is mixed with that thought whirls her into
tremblings; and now she calls herself fool, for believing the
messenger, and thinks not to go; if she thinks of being bold, she
blushes; and the least thought that she shall be rejected, when she
comes at him, makes her look as if she would give up the ghost.
And is it a wonder, then, to see a soul that is drowned in the sense of
glory and a sense of its own nothingness, to be confounded in itself,
and to fear that the glory apprehended is too great, too good, and too
rich, for such an one? That thing, heaven and eternal glory, is so
great, and I that would have it, so small, so sorry a creature, that
the thoughts of obtaining it confounds me.
Thus, I say, doth the greatness of the things desired, quite dash and
overthrow the mind of the desirer. O, it is too big! it is too big! it
is too great a mercy! But, coming sinner, let me reason with thee. Thou
sayest, it is too big, too great. Well, will things that are less
satisfy thy soul? Will a less thing than heaven, than glory and eternal
life, answer thy desires? No, nothing less; and yet I fear they are too
big, and too good for me, ever to obtain. Well, as big and as good as
they are, God giveth them to such as thou; they are not too big for God
to give; no, not too big to give freely. Be content; let God give like
himself; he is that eternal God, and giveth like himself. When kings
give, they do not use to give as poor men do. Hence it is said, that
Nabal made a feast in his house like the feast of a king; and again,
“All these things did Araunah, as a king, give unto David” (1 Sam
25:36; 2 Sam 24:23). Now, God is a great king, let him give like a
king; nay, let him give like himself, and do thou receive like thyself.
He hath all, and thou hast nothing. God told his people of old, that he
would save them in truth and in righteousness, and that they should
return to, and enjoy the land, which before, for their sins, had spewed
them out; and then adds, under a supposition of their counting the
mercy too good, or too big, “If it be marvellous in the eyes of the
remnant of this people in these days, should it also be marvellous in
mine eyes? saith the Lord of hosts” (Zech 8:6).
As who should say, they are now in captivity, and little in their own
eyes; therefore they think the mercy of returning to Canaan is a mercy
too marvellously big for them to enjoy; but if it be so in their eyes,
it is not so in mine; I will do for them like God, if they will but
receive my bounty like sinners. Coming sinner, God can give his
heavenly Canaan, and the glory of it, unto thee; yea, none ever had
them but as a gift, a free gift. He hath given us his Son, “How shall
he not with him also freely give us all things?” (Rom 8:32).
It was not the worthiness of Abraham, or Moses, or David or Peter, or
Paul, but the mercy of God, that made them inheritors of heaven. If God
thinks thee worthy, judge not thyself unworthy; but take it, and be
thankful. And it is a good sign he intends to give thee, if he hath
drawn out thy heart to ask. “Lord, thou hast heard the desire of the
humble; thou wilt prepare their heart; thou wilt cause thine ear to
hear” (Psa 10:17).
When God is said to incline his ear, it implies an intention to bestow
the mercy desired. Take it therefore; thy wisdom will be to receive,
not sticking at thy own unworthiness. It is said, “He raiseth up the
poor out of the dust, and lifteth up the beggar from the dunghill, to
set them among princes, and to make them inherit the throne of glory.”
Again, “He raiseth up the poor out of the dust, and lifteth the needy
out of the dunghill, that he may set him with princes, even with the
princes of his people” (1 Sam 2:8; Psa 113:7,8). You see also when God
made a wedding for his Son, he called not the great, nor the rich, nor
the mighty; but the poor, the maimed, the halt, and the blind (Matt 12;
Luke 14).
Fifth. Thy fears that Christ will not receive thee may arise from the
hideous roaring of the devil, who pursues thee. He that hears him roar,
must be a mighty Christian, if he can at that time deliver himself from
fear. He is called a roaring lion; and then to allude to that in
Isaiah, “If one look” into them, they have “darkness and sorrow, and
the light is darkened in the heavens thereof” (1 Peter 5:8; Isa 5:3).
[Two of the devil’s objections.]—There are two things among many that
Satan useth to roar out after them that are coming to Jesus Christ. 1.
That they are not elected. Or, 2. That they have sinned the sin against
the Holy Ghost. To both these I answer briefly—
1. [Election.]—Touching election, out of which thou fearest thou art
excluded. Why, coming sinner, even the text itself affordeth thee help
against this doubt, and that by a double argument.
(1.) That coming to Christ is by virtue of the gift, promise, and
drawing of the Father; but thou art a-coming; therefore God hath given
thee, promised thee, and is drawing thee to Jesus Christ. Coming
sinner, hold to this; and when Satan beginneth to roar again, answer,
But I feel my heart moving after Jesus Christ; but that would not be,
if it were not given by promise, and drawing to Christ by the power of
the Father.
(2.) Jesus Christ hath promised, “That him that cometh to him he will
in no wise cast out.” And if he hath said it, will he not make it good,
I mean even thy salvation? For, as I have said already, not to cast
out, is to receive and admit to the benefit of salvation. If then the
Father hath given thee, as is manifest by thy coming; and if Christ
will receive thee, thou coming soul, as it is plain he will, because he
hath said, “He will in no wise cast out;” then be confident, and let
those conclusions, that as naturally flow from the text as light from
the sun, or water from the fountain, stay thee.
If Satan therefore objecteth, But thou art not elected; answer, But I
am coming, Satan, I am coming; and that I could not be, but that the
Father draws me; and I am coming to such a Lord Jesus, as will in no
wise cast me out. Further, Satan, were I not elect, the Father would
not draw me, nor would the Son so graciously open his bosom to me. I am
persuaded, that not one of the nonelect shall ever be able to say, no,
not in the day of judgment, I did sincerely come to Jesus Christ. Come
they may, feignedly, as Judas and Simon Magus did; but that is not our
question. Therefore, O thou honest-hearted coming sinner, be not
afraid, but come.
2. [Of the sin against the Holy Ghost.]—As to the second part of the
objection, about sinning the sin against the Holy Ghost, the same
argument overthrows that also. But I will argue thus:
(1.) Coming to Christ is by virtue of a special gift of the Father; but
the Father giveth no such gift to them that have sinned that sin;
therefore thou that art coming hast not committed that sin. That the
Father giveth no such gift to them that have sinned that sin is
evident—(a.) Because such have sinned themselves out of God’s favour;
“They shall never have forgiveness” (Matt 12:32). But it is a special
favour of God to give unto a man, to come to Jesus Christ; because
thereby he obtaineth forgiveness. Therefore he that cometh hath not
sinned that sin. (b.) They that have sinned the sin against the Holy
Ghost, have sinned themselves out of an interest in the sacrifice of
Christ’s body and blood; “There remaineth [for such] no more sacrifice
for sins” (Heb 10:26). But God giveth not grace to any of them to come
to Christ, that have no share in the sacrifice of his body and blood.
Therefore, thou that art coming to him, hast not sinned that sin.
(2.) Coming to Christ is by the special drawing of the Father; “No man
can come to me except the Father which hath sent me draw him” (John
6:44). But the Father draweth not him to Christ, for whom he hath not
allotted forgiveness by his blood; therefore they that are coming to
Jesus Christ have not committed that sin, because he hath allotted them
forgiveness by his blood. That the Father cannot draw them to Jesus
Christ, for whom he hath not allotted forgiveness of sins, is manifest
to sense: for that would be a plain mockery, a flam, 17 neither
becoming his wisdom, justice, holiness, nor goodness.
(3.) Coming to Jesus Christ lays a man under the promise of forgiveness
and salvation. But it is impossible that he that hath sinned that sin
should ever be put under a promise of these. Therefore, he that hath
sinned that sin can never have heart to come to Jesus Christ.
(4.) Coming to Jesus Christ lays a man under his intercession. “For he
ever liveth to make intercession for them that come” (Heb 7:25).
Therefore, he that is coming to Jesus Christ cannot have sinned that
sin. Christ has forbidden his people to pray for them that have sinned
that sin; and, therefore, will not pray for them himself, but he prays
for them that come.
(5.) He that hath sinned that sin, Christ is to him of no more worth
than is a man that is dead; “For he hath crucified to himself the Son
of God;” yea, and hath also counted his precious blood as the blood of
an unholy thing. (Heb 6, 10) Now, he that hath this low esteem of
Christ will never come to him for life; but the coming man has an high
esteem of his person, blood, and merits. Therefore, he that is coming
has not committed that sin.
(6.) If he that has sinned this sin might yet come to Jesus Christ,
then must the truth of God be overthrown; which saith in one place, “He
hath never forgiveness;” and in another, “I will in no wise cast him
out.” Therefore, that he may never have forgiveness, he shall never
have heart to come to Jesus Christ. It is impossible that such an one
should be renewed, either to or by repentance (Heb 6). Wherefore, never
trouble thy head nor heart about this matter; he that cometh to Jesus
Christ cannot have sinned against the Holy Ghost.
Sixth, Thy fears that Christ will not receive thee may arise from thine
own folly, in inventing, yea, in thy chalking out to God, a way to
bring thee home to Jesus Christ. Some souls that are coming to Jesus
Christ are great tormentors of themselves upon this account; they
conclude, that if their coming to Jesus Christ is right, they must
needs be brought home thus and thus.
As to instance: 1. Says one, If God be bringing of me to Jesus Christ,
then will he load me with the guilt of sin till he makes me roar again.
2. If God be indeed a-bringing me home to Jesus Christ, then must I be
assaulted with dreadful temptations of the devil. 3. If God be indeed
a-bringing me to Jesus Christ, then, even when I come at him, I shall
have wonderful revelations of him.
This is the way that some sinners appoint for God; but, perhaps, he
will not walk therein; yet will he bring them to Jesus Christ. But now,
because they come not the way of their own chalking out, therefore they
are at a loss. They look for heavy load and burden; but, perhaps, God
gives them a sight of their lost condition, and addeth not that heavy
weight and burden. They look for fearful temptations of Satan; but God
sees that yet they are not fit for them, nor is the time come that he
should be honoured by them in such a condition. They look for great and
glorious revelations of Christ, grace, and mercy; but, perhaps, God
only takes the yoke from off their jaws, and lays meat before them. And
now again they are at a loss, yet a-coming to Jesus Christ; “I drew
them,” saith God, “with cords of a man, with bands of love—I took the
yoke from off their jaws, and laid meat unto them” (Hosea 11:4).
Now, I say, If God brings thee to Christ, and not by the way that thou
hast appointed, then thou art at a loss; and for thy being at a loss,
thou mayest thank thyself. God hath more ways than thou knowest of to
bring a sinner to Jesus Christ; but he will not give thee beforehand an
account by which of them he will bring thee to Christ (Isa 40:13; Job
33:13). Sometimes he hath his ways in the whirlwind; but sometimes the
Lord is not there (Nahum 1:3; 1 Kings 19:11). If God will deal more
gently with thee than with others of his children, grudge not at it;
refuse not the waters that go softly, lest he bring upon thee the
waters of the rivers, strong and many, even these two smoking
firebrands, the devil and guilt of sin (Isa 8:6,7). He saith to Peter,
“Follow me.” And what thunder did Zaccheus hear or see? Zaccheus, “Come
down,” said Christ; “and he came down,” says Luke, “and received him
joyfully.”
But had Peter or Zaccheus made the objection that thou hast made, and
directed the Spirit of the Lord as thou hast done, they might have
looked long enough before they had found themselves coming to Jesus
Christ. Besides, I will tell thee, that the greatness of sense of sin,
the hideous roaring of the devil, yea, and abundance of revelations,
will not prove that God is bringing thy soul to Jesus Christ; as
Balaam, Cain, Judas, and others, can witness.
Further, consider that what thou hast not of these things here, thou
mayest have another time, and that to thy distraction. Wherefore,
instead of being discontent, because thou art not in the fire, because
thou hearest not the sound of the trumpet and alarm of war, “Pray that
thou enter not into temptation;” yea, come boldly to the throne of
grace, and obtain mercy, and find grace to help in that time of need
(Psa 88:15; Matt 26:41; Heb 4:16).
Poor creature! thou criest, if I were tempted, I could come faster and
with more confidence to Christ. Thou sayest thou knowest not what. What
says Job? “Withdraw thine hand far from me: and let not thy dread make
me afraid. Then call thou, and I will answer: or let me speak, and
answer thou me” (Job 13:21,22). It is not the overheavy load of sin,
but the discovery of mercy; not the roaring of the devil, but the
drawing of the Father, that makes a man come to Jesus Christ; I myself
know all these things.
True, sometimes, yea, most an end, 18 they that come to Jesus Christ
come the way that thou desirest; the loading, tempted way; but the Lord
also leads some by the waters of comfort. If I was to choose when to go
a long journey, to wit, whether I would go it in the dead of winter or
in the pleasant spring, though, if it was a very profitable journey, as
that of coming to Christ is, I would choose to go it through fire and
water before I would choose lose the benefit. But, I say, if I might
choose the time, I would choose to go it in the pleasant spring,
because the way would be more delightsome, the days longer and warmer,
the nights shorter and not so cold. And it is observable, that that
very argument that thou usest to weaken thy strength in the way, that
very argument Christ Jesus useth to encourage his beloved to come to
him: “Rise up,” saith he, “my love, my fair one, and come away.” Why?
“For lo, the winter is past, the rain is over and gone; the flowers
appear on the earth, the time of the singing of birds is come, and the
voice of the turtle is heard in our land; the fig-tree putteth forth
her green figs, and the vines with the tender grape give a good smell.
Arise, my love, my fair one, and come away” (Song 2:10-13).
Trouble not thyself, coming sinner. If thou seest thy lost condition by
original and actual sin; if thou seest thy need of the spotless
righteousness of Jesus Christ; if thou art willing to be found in him,
and to take up thy cross and follow him; then pray for a fair wind and
good weather, and come away. Stick no longer in a muse and doubt about
things, but come away to Jesus Christ. Do it, I say, lest thou tempt
God to lay the sorrows of a travailing woman upon thee. Thy folly in
this thing may make him do it. Mind what follows: “The sorrows of a
travailing woman shall come upon him.” Why? “He is an unwise son; for
he should not stay long in the place of the breaking forth of children”
(Hosea 13:13).
Seventh, Thy fears that Christ will not receive thee may arise from
those decays that thou findest in thy soul, even while thou art coming
to him. Some, even as they are coming to Jesus Christ, do find
themselves grow worse and worse; and this is indeed a sore trial to the
poor coming sinner.
[Fears that we do not run fast enough.]
To explain myself. There is such an one a coming to Jesus Christ who,
when at first he began to look out after him, was sensible,
affectionate, and broken in spirit; but now is grown dark, senseless,
hard-hearted, and inclining to neglect spiritual duties, &c. Besides,
he now finds in himself inclinations to unbelief, atheism, blasphemy,
and the like; now he finds he cannot tremble at God’s Word, his
judgment, nor at the apprehension of hell fire; neither can he, as he
thinketh, be sorry for these things. Now, this is a sad dispensation.
The man under the sixth head complaineth for want of temptations, but
thou hast enough of them; art thou glad of them, tempted, coming
sinner? They that never were exercised with them may think it a fine
thing to be within the range, but he that is there is ready to sweat
blood for sorrow of heart, and to howl for vexation of spirit! This man
is in the wilderness among wild beasts. Here he sees a bear, there a
lion, yonder a leopard, a wolf, a dragon; devils of all sorts, doubts
of all sorts, fears of all sorts, haunt and molest his soul. Here he
sees smoke, yea, feels fire and brimstone, scattered upon his secret
places. He hears the sound of an horrible tempest. O! my friends, even
the Lord Jesus, that knew all things, even he saw no pleasure in
temptations, nor did he desire to be with them; wherefore, one text
saith, “he was led,” and another, “he was driven,” of the Spirit into
the wilderness, to be tempted of the devil (Matt 4:1; Mark 1:12).
But to return. Thus it happeneth sometimes to them that are coming to
Jesus Christ. A sad hap indeed! One would think that he that is flying
from wrath to come has little need of such clogs as these. And yet so
it is, and woeful experience proves it. The church of old complained
that her enemies overtook her between the straits; just between hope
and fear, heaven and hell (Lam 1).
This man feeleth the infirmity of his flesh, he findeth a proneness in
himself to be desperate. Now, he chides with God, flings and tumbles
like a wild bull in a net, and still the guilt of all returns upon
himself, to the crushing of him to pieces. Yet he feeleth his heart so
hard, that he can find, as he thinks, no kind falling under any of his
miscarriages. Now, he is a lump of confusion in his own eyes, whose
spirit and actions are without order.
Temptations serve the Christian as the shepherd’s dog serveth the silly
sheep; that is, coming behind the flock, he runs upon it, pulls it
down, worries it, wounds it, and grievously bedabbleth it with dirt and
wet, in the lowest places of the furrows of the field, and not leaving
it until it is half dead, nor then neither, except God rebuke.
Here is now room for fears of being cast away. Now I see I am lost,
says the sinner. This is not coming to Jesus Christ, says the sinner;
such a desperate, hard, and wretched heart as mine is, cannot be a
gracious one, saith the sinner. And bid such an one be better, he says,
I cannot; no, I cannot.
[Why temptations assail God’s people.]
Quest. But what will you say to a soul in this condition?
Answ. I will say, That temptations have attended the best of God’s
people. I will say, That temptations come to do us good; and I will say
also, That there is a difference betwixt growing worse and worse, and
thy seeing more clearly how bad thou art.