[Illustration: Sarah Jeanne explains symbolically to rude English
soldier that he must "hook it."]
[Illustration: Back View of New Sarah Jeanne overcoat for race
meetings.]
SARAH JEANNE of Arc. SARAH wrapt up in the visionary creation
is comparatively lost in the part; that is, until she comes out
magnificently in the last scene but one. Otherwise, except to look
the Martyr, and to languish, nothing much for SARAH to do. Cathedral
scene here rivals that at Covent Garden. SARAH wins and thrills the
audience: her voice soothes them in their most ruffled humour, even
after the audience has been kept waiting nearly twenty-five minutes
between the Acts. Everyone disappointed that the funeral pile does
not catch fire, and that the Curtain does not descend on a sensational
scene, for which Captain SHAW and his Merry Men would have to be in
attendance. The cast good all round, but it's more of an Opera, or
a religious play, than a Melodrama. GOUNOD'S music not particularly
striking, and the March sounds familiar. SARAH JEANNE holds the
audience spell-bound to the end, rather by what she doesn't than by
what she does, except in the great scene already mentioned. _Jeanne
d'Arc_ is to run on till further notice, and then Madame SARAH
will appear in some of her well-known parts, and take a temporary
farewell of the British Public. To those who have hitherto neglected
opportunities of seeing SARAH JEANNE let this notice be a warning, and
let them in their thousands hurry up to His Mayerjesty's.
* * * * *
"CAN WORMS SEE?"--_Vide St. James's Gazette_ and _Field_.
Correspondent says worms do not shrink from candle-light, but
immediately withdraw under the glare of a bull's-eye lantern.
Evidently for exact information, "Ask a Policeman." Also consult Baron
DE WORMS. He sees his way about well enough.
* * * * *
[Illustration: A PRACTICAL MEMENTO.
_Sir James_. "AND WERE YOU IN ROME?"
_American Lady_. "I GUESS NOT." (_To her Daughter_.) "SAY, BELLA,
DID WE VISIT ROME?"
_Fair Daughter_. "WHY, MA, CERT'NLY! DON'T YOU REMEMBER? IT WAS IN
ROME WE BOUGHT THE LISLE-THREAD STOCKINGS!"
_American Lady is convinced_.]
* * * * *
"IN TROUBLE."
"Three Men in a Boat!" And you don't often see
Pair oars and their cox. in a nastier fix.
They started all right, did this nautical Three,
But they've managed to get in no end of a mix.
That Steersman, he thought a good deal of his Stroke,
And there seemed scarce a steadier oarsman than Bow,
But they must have got "skylarking." Ah! it's no joke,
And the question is what are they going to do now?
For danger's a-head, and 'twill tax all their skill
To avoid a capsize and a horrible spill.
What can they be up to? a gazer might say,
As he watched their eccentric career from the banks.
Three 'ARRIES at large on a Bank Holiday
Could hardly indulge in more blundering pranks.
Stroke "catches a crab" in the clumsiest style,
(And they called him a fine finished oarsman, this chap!)
At his "Catherine-wheeler" a Cockney might smile,
As he tumbles so helplessly back in Bow's lap.
And Bow!--well, he's snapped off the blade of his scull,
And poor Cox's steering-gear's all "in a mull."
It's all that Stroke's fault--so the whisper goes round.
He _would_ try new dodges, uncalled-for, unproved,
They were "going great guns," when he suddenly found
That, to make himself Champion (and get himself loved
By the river-side "Bungs" and their large _clientèle_),
He must--set a new stroke in the midst of a spin--
A policy plainly predestined to fail,
And one, we must own, scarce deserving to win.
And so he has smashed up a shining success,
And got himself into a deuce of a mess.
So various voices! And this was the oar
They triumphantly won from a great rival crew;
The cool-headed, steady-nerved Stroke, bound to score;
The fellow who funking or failure ne'er knew.
_He_ hurry, or falter, catch crabs, miss, or muff?
No, no; lesser men might--say, GL-DST-NE or SM-TH--
But _he_ was not made of such common-place stuff,
His nerve was all steel, and his muscle all pith.
And now he's adrift amidst snags, stumps, and rooks,
And the Coxswain has just lost his rudder--poor Cox.!
And danger's ahead, and the full of the weir
Sounds close, as that Stroke tumbles "head over tip."
No wonder poor Bow, his oar bladeless, looks queer.
No wonder the Steersman his yoke-lines lets slip.
The Three are "In Trouble," of that there's no doubt;
Stroke mutters, "Obstruction!" Bow talks of "a foul."
But when you have muffed it, and foes are about,
It isn't much use at bad fortune to growl.
No; Stroke, Bow, and Coxswain must "go it like bricks,"
If they mean to get out of this troublesome fix.
* * * * *
ERRATUM.--_Mr. Punch_ last week paid the Notts' Cricketer, GUNN,
a well-deserved compliment on his great innings of 228 against
the Australians. He _intended_ to represent him as piling-up that
huge score "against the best bowling." The obviously accidental
substitution of the word "batting" for "bowling" here, caused "the
Nottingham Giant" to be credited with a novel cricketing performance,
to which even _he_ would hardly be equal. The proverbial Irish gun
that could "shoot round a corner," would not be "in it" with a GUNN
who could "bat against batting!" As a Correspondent (in slightly
different words) suggests:--
"When a Champion Batsman's performance extolling,
'Tis well to distinguish, 'twixt batting and bowling!"
* * * * *
EXCHANGE NO ROBBERY.--According to _Mr. Punch's_ sharp contemporary,
the _Lancet_, the effect of bagpipe-playing upon the teeth is to blunt
them; in fact, in course of time, to wear them away. To the auditor
the music has a contrary effect. _Mr. Punch_ is able to say, from
experience, that he has never listened to the National instrument of
Grand Old Scotland without having his teeth set on edge.
* * * * *
[Illustration: "IN TROUBLE."]
* * * * *
[Illustration: HINTS FOR THE PARK.
WHY NOT HAVE SOMETHING OF THIS SORT? IT WOULD AT LEAST MAKE THINGS
LESS MONOTONOUS.]
* * * * *