"Mr. MONTAGU WILLIAMS used some strong language yesterday in
reference to the small room in which he was called upon to
administer Justice while the Worship Street Police Court is
being renovated."--_Evening Paper_.
SCENE--_A small apartment in a Metropolitan Police Court_.
Presiding Magistrate _and_ Clerk _discovered_.
_Presiding Magistrate_. There! You and I can sit here, and the rest
can remain outside. And now I will take the night charges.
_Voice from Passage_ (_without_). Please, your worship, as I was on
duty last night, this man--
_Builder_ (_putting his head in_). Sorry to trouble you, Sir, but we
have got something to do to the flooring. Must ask you to be off.
_P.M._ (_restraining his indignation_). Very well; the Court is
adjourned to the back garden. (_Scene changes to that locality._)
Come, this is better! Fresh air, in spite of the smuts! And now,
Constable, go on with your evidence.
_Police Constable_. Well, your Worship, as I was on duty last night,
this man--
_Builder_ (_entering_). Very sorry to trouble you again, Sir, but
there's something wrong with the drains. We think the pipes are out
of order, and so we shall have to dig them up. So, if you don't mind
moving--
_P.M._ (_restraining his indignation_). Very well; the Court is
adjourned to the coal-cellar. (_Scene changes to that locality._)
Come, this is not so bad! Very cool, if rather damp. And now,
Constable, go on with your evidence.
_Police Constable_. Well, your Worship, as I was on duty last night,
this man--
_Coalheaver_ (_speaking through hole in roof_). Sorry to disturb you,
gents, but as me and my mates are going to put some coals in this here
cellar, I thought it good manners to tell you all to clear out.
_P.M._ (_restraining his indignation_). The Court is adjourned to the
housetop. (_Scene changes to that locality._) Come, this is not so
bad! Nice breeze up here. A little difficult to sit upon a sloping
roof, perhaps; but one gets accustomed to everything. And now,
Constable, go on with your evidence.
_Police Constable_. Well, your Worship, as I was on duty last night,
this man--
_Sweep_ (_entering_). Sorry to disturb you, mates, but I am just
agoing to sweep the chimneys; and--
_Police Magistrate_ (_unable to restrain his indignation any longer_).
Oh--!!!
[_The Curtain hurriedly conceals the strong but natural
exclamation._]
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[Illustration: EXCELSIOR! OR, THE DAY-DREAM OF DRURIOLANUS.
_Elected Sheriff, June 27, he dreams that he is encountered on his
road by the fairy forms of Harry Nicholls and Herbert Campbell._
_Voices of Fairy Forms_. "ALL HAIL, DRURIOLANUS! SHERIFF THOU ART,
AND SHALT BE MAYOR HEREAFTER!"]
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