We understand that careful observers have noted a considerable amount
of disturbance in the House of Commons during the past three weeks.
Various reasons have, as usual, been advanced to account for this
phenomenon, one eminent politician having gone so far as to hint
darkly at the existence of Cave-men (or Troglodytes), who dwell in
barrows.
* * * * *
The weather has been subject to strange variations. The mean
temperature of the isothermal lines, when reduced to fractions of
an infinitesimal value, has been found to correspond exactly to the
elevation of the nap on the hat of a certain sporting Earl. Dividing
that by the number of buttons on a costermonger's waistcoat, and
adding to the quotient the number of aspirates picked up in the Old
Kent Road on a Saturday afternoon, the result has been computed as
equal to the total amount of minutes occupied by a vendor of saveloys
in advertising his wares in the Pall Mall Clubs.
* * * * *
Candour is at times inconvenient. A prominent member of a Metropolitan
Vestry was informed two days ago by one of the permanent scavengers
of the district, that he "wasn't worth the price of a second-hand
boot-lace." On inquiring the meaning of this curious phrase, he was
told that "his blooming head would be knocked off for two-pence."
We understand that the Vestryman's vote on a question of salary is
responsible for the indignation of the scavenger, a member of a class
usually noted for their somewhat ceremonious courtesy.
* * * * *
Those who propose to travel this year will doubtless be glad to
learn that the Hessian fly has been observed in unusual abundance in
Westphalia. This succulent _morceau_ is now eaten fried, with a sauce
of devilled lentils and oil.
* * * * *
It appears, after all, that there is no very definite foundation
for the report that Sir EDWARD WATKIN is said to be disappointed in
the competitive designs sent in for his Tower, because none of them
provide sleeping accommodation for 2000 people on the top storey. Of
course something must have given rise to the rumour, but it is not
easy to say exactly what. One competitor has already, however, it
appears, intimated his readiness to make the required addition, by
hanging his beds over the side of the Tower on "extended poles." The
question is, "Would Sir WATKIN be able to induce his patrons 'to turn
in' under such conditions?" There's the rub.
* * * * *