INSIDE THE "QUEEN'S GRAND COLLECTION OF MOVING WAXWORKS
AND LIONS, AND MUSEUM DEPARTMENT OF FOREIGN WONDERS AND
NOVELTIES."
_The majority of the Public is still outside, listening
open-mouthed to a comic dialogue between the Showman and a
juvenile and irreverent Nigger. Those who have come in find
that, with the exception of some particularly tame-looking
murderers' heads in glazed pigeon-holes, a few limp effigies
stuck up on rickety ledges, and an elderly Cart-horse in low
spirits, there is little to see at present._
_Melia_ (_to JOE, as they inspect the Cart-horse._) This 'ere can't
never be the live 'orse with five legs, as they said was to be seen
inside!
_Joe._ Theer ain't no other 'orse in 'ere, and why _shouldn't_ it be
'im, if that's all?
_Melia._ Well, I don't make out no more'n _four_ legs to'un, nohow,
myself.
_Joe._ Don't ye be in sech a 'urry, now--the Show ain't _begun_ yet!
[Illustration: "It's quoite tri-ew!"]
[_The barrel-organ outside blares "God Save the Queen," and
more Spectators come stumping down the wooden steps, followed
by the Showman._
_Showman._ I shell commence this Exhibition by inviting your
inspection of the wonderful live 'orse with five legs. (_To
the depressed Cart-horse._) 'Old up! (_The poor beast lifts his
off-fore-leg with obvious reluctance, and discloses a very small
supernumerary hoof concealed behind the fetlock._) Examine it! for
yourselves--two distinct 'oofs with shoes and nails complete--a
_great_ novelty!
_Melia._ I don't call that nothen of a leg, _I_ don't--it ain't 'ardly
a _oof_, even!
_Joe_ (_with phlegm_). That's wheer th' old 'orse gits the larf on ye,
that is!
_Showman._ We will now pass on to the Exhibition. 'Ere (_indicating
a pair of lop-sided Orientals in nondescript attire_) we 'ave two
life-sized models of the Japanese villagers who caused so much
sensation in London on account o' their peculiar features--you will
easily reckernise the female by her bein' the ugliest one o' the two.
(_Compassionate titters from the Spectators._) I will now call your
attention to a splendid group, taken from English 'Istry, and set in
motion by powerful machinery, repperesentin' the Parting Interview
of CHARLES THE FIRST with his fam'ly. (_Rolls up a painted canvas
curtain, and reveals the Monarch seated, with the Duke of GLOUCESTER
on his knee, surrounded by OLIVER CROMWELL, and as many Courtiers,
Guards, and Maids of Honour as can be accommodated in the limited
space._) I will wind up the machinery and the unfortunate King will be
seen in the act of bidding his fam'ly ajew for ever in this world.
[_CHARLES begins to click solemnly and move his head by
progressive jerks to the right, while the Little Duke
moves his simultaneously to the left, and a Courtier in the
background is so affected by the scene that he points with
respectful sympathy at nothing; the Spectators do not commit
themselves to any comments._
_Showman_ (_concluding a quotation from MARKHAM_). "And the little
Dook, with the tears a-standin' in 'is heyes, replies, 'I will be tore
in pieces fust!'" Other side, please! No, Mum, the lady in mournin'
_ain't_ the beautiful but ill-fated MARY, Queen o' Scots--it's Mrs.
MAYBRICK, now in confinement for poisonin' her 'usban', and the figger
close to her is the MAHDI, or False Prophet. In the next case we
'ave a subject selected from Ancient Roman 'Istry, bein' the story
of ANDROCLES, the Roman Slave, as he appeared when, escaping from his
crule owners, he entered a cave and found a lion which persented 'im
with 'is bleedin' paw. After some 'esitation, ANDROCLES examined the
paw, as repperesented before you. (_Winds the machinery up, whereupon
the lion opens his lower jaw and emits a mild bleat, while ANDROCLES
turns his head from side to side in bland surprise._) This lion is
the largest forestbred and blackmaned specimen ever imported into
this country--the _other_ lion standing beyind (_disparagingly_), has
nothing whatever to do with the tableau, 'aving been shot recently in
Africa by Mr. STANLEY, the two figgers at the side repperesent the
Boy Murderers who killed their own father at Crewe with a 'atchet and
other 'orrible barbarities. I shall conclude the Collection by showing
you the magnificent group repperesentin' Her Gracious Majisty the
QUEEN, as she appeared in 'er 'appier and younger days, surrounded by
the late Mr. SPURGEON, the 'Eroes of the Soudan, and other Members of
the Royal Fam'ly.