1
THE usual time elapsed and then Joan knew she had passed her examination
with honours. There was a grudging pride in Mrs. Ogden's heart in spite
of herself, and even the colonel revived from his deep depression to
congratulate his elder daughter. Joan was happy, with that assured and
peaceful happiness that comes only to those who have attained through
personal effort; she felt now very confident about the future, capable
of almost anything. It was a red-letter day with a vengeance, for
Elizabeth was coming back to Leaside that same afternoon to take up her
work again. She would not have heard the news, and Joan rejoiced
silently at the prospect of telling her. She pictured Elizabeth's face;
surely the calm of it must break up just this once, and if it did, how
would she look? There were flowers on the school-room table; that was
good. Mrs. Ogden had put them there to celebrate Joan's triumph, she had
said. Joan wished that they had been put there to welcome Elizabeth
back. The antagonism between these two had never ceased to worry and
distress her, not so much on their behalf as because she herself wanted
them both. At all times, the dearest wish of her heart was that they
should be reconciled, lest at any time she should be asked to choose
between them. But on this splendid and fulfilling morning no clouds
could affect her seriously.
The hours dragged; she could not swallow her lunch; at three o'clock
Elizabeth would arrive. Now it was two o'clock, now a quarter past, then
half past. Joan, pale with excitement, sat in the schoolroom and waited.
Upstairs, Milly was practising her violin; she was playing a queer
little tune, rather melancholy, very restrained, as unlike the child who
played it as a tune could well be; this struck Joan as she listened and
made her speculate. How strange people were; they were always lonely and
always strange; perhaps they knew themselves, but certainly no one else
ever knew them. There was her mother, did she really know her? And
Elizabeth--she had begun to realize that there were unexpected things
about her that took you by storm and left you feeling awkward; you could
never be quite certain of her these days. Was it only the shock of the
illness, she wondered, or was it that she was just beginning to realize
that there was an Elizabeth very different from that of the schoolroom;
a creature of moods, like herself?
Somewhere in the house a clock chimed the hour, and as it did so the
door-bell rang. Joan jumped up, she laughed aloud; how like Elizabeth to
ring just as the clock was striking, exactly like her. The schoolroom
door opened and she came in. She was a little thinner perhaps, but
otherwise the great experience seemed to have made no impression on her
outward appearance.
"Elizabeth, I've passed with honours!"
Elizabeth was midway between the door and the table; she opened her lips
as if to speak, but paused.
"I knew you would, Joan," was all she said.
Somewhere deep down in herself, Joan smiled. "That's not what you wanted
to say," she thought. "You wanted to say something very different."
But she fell in with Elizabeth's mood and tried to check her own
enthusiasm. What did it matter if Elizabeth chose to play a part, she
knew what this news meant to her; she could have laughed in her face.
"But what really matters is that you've come back," she said.
"Yes, I suppose that is what really matters," replied Elizabeth, her
calm eyes meeting Joan's for an instant.
"Oh, Elizabeth, it's been too awful without you, dull and awful!"
"I know," she answered quietly.
"And suppose I'd failed you, Elizabeth, suppose I'd failed in the
examination," Joan's voice trembled. "Suppose I had had to tell you
that!"
"I should still have been coming back."
"Yes, I know, and that's all that really matters; only it's better as it
is, isn't it?"
"You would never fail me, Joan. I think it's not in you to fail,
somehow; in any case I don't think you'll fail me." She hesitated--then,
"I don't feel that we ought to fail each other, you and I."
She took off her hat and coat and drew off her gloves with her back
turned; when she came back to the table her hands were behind her. She
sat down quickly and folded them in her lap. In the excitement of the
good news and the reunion, Joan had forgotten to ask to see her hands.
"Where's Milly?" said Elizabeth.